My addiction and recovery, and a plea to all those doing it alone

[tommm70]

Well some of you may remember me from last year. I was heavily addicted to pain pills, and then was given subutex and was on it for several months. When I weaned off Subtutex and went through withdrawals, I thought it was over. I was depressed for over a year. I was in hell, constantly thinking about pills. I started to drink and smoke pot to find a different high. I would stop, think I was better, only to seek out more eventually. I did not realize I had a real, scientifically proven DISEASE. A fatal disease if not treated.

I never sought any real help outside of a doctor who gave me more pills. I sought help here on how to detox. Some great posts followed. People tried to help. But I learned nothing of addiction, and had no idea that it something that will NEVER go away on it's own. Thats right folks. Addiction, once a part of us, is with us forever. It is a disease like Diabetes, that if treated properly can be put into remission.

I relapsed 7 weeks ago, and finally checked myself into a real treatment center to get the help and education I needed. Addiction is a progressive disease that will get worse if left untreated. The depression and anxiety will make life unmanagable at a certain point if it is not treated. That is a gaurentee, not a maybe.

I learned there is a scientifically proven process where addiction crosses a threshold in the brain. Once you become addicted, you can never go back. You will always be addicted. you can of course go into remission and live a good life. But it will always be a part of you.

I am done with treatment, and feel like a new person. I know every day I will need to fight, and while it may get easier, their is a future without drugs or alcohol. Education and counseling are key.

My hope is to just convince one person not to try and beat this alone, and to seek real professional help and education. All of the withdrawal tips here are great. But remember, it is a lifetime struggle.

Either by the 12 step program, or some other program, I hope we can all lead happy and healthy lives.

[steveo30]

great post,i also am looking for a real treatment center,not one that treats everyone the same,like ****.i need one that treats the person and not the addiction,so to speak.individualized treatment for each person and their needs.   steveo

[corey411]

Great post. I also think that as a forum, we help more through getting people through detox and not prepared enough for what lies ahead. For some, like myself, that was a great beginning. I especially think that we really need to educate ourselves about how addiction works. I read alot during my sons addiction and had numbers of some addicts in recovery that really helped me in my recovery. I went to NA for 4 months everyday and that really helped alot. Especially in understanding how addiction was working me. I relapsed during the second month of my stent there. I used to believe that addiction was a disease and I guess I still believe it's the same in nature. What I no longer believe is that it can never be arrested. I have become a more spiritual person in my post addiction life and I really believe that it is a disease of the spirit. I believe that with much work on my spirit, I will no longer have the desire to use pills to make my world seem OK. I will always have the potential to use again. Everyone does. Our spirit is stronger than life and has the power to override these obsessive thoughts. I will someday be free of this. I will also never turn away anyones help, opinion and the oppertunity to help others.

God bless and keep you in recovery. Corey

[steveo30]

i meant treat the person and not the disease

[Kimemitch]

I am an addict's Mom and I send you a hug and lots of prayers on your continued journey. There will be rough times as that is just part of life, but remember this feeling and when things get tough, know that you can always get back to it through prayer and a network of people willing to help. There are many many people out there praying for you. You may never meet us, but we are here! God Bless you!!