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My brother

My brother is a 24 year old man.  When will this end?  My parents are trying really hard to be strong and not provide him with any more money.  He is addicted to crack.  Two weeks ago he told them a drug dealer would kill him if he didn't give him $80.  They were scared so they gave it to him. Yesterday, the same situation.  They held strong all day and then at 9:00 last night the drug dealer called clicking a gun in to the voice mail and saying that their son was going to come up missing.  Keep in mind, my brother lives with this so-called drug dealer. Once again, they paid the $100.  When does this end?  My mom says I don't understand.  I don't because my kids are little.  I do understand the horrible pain this would cause a parent, though.  But, doesn't this end for them eventually?  How can I make them understand they are hurting more than helping the situation and they need to ignore his horrible antics and get on with their lives?
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Avatar universal
your parents sound very kind and caring, but the only chance your brother has at getting clean is to get help somehow. your parents have to stop bailing him out even though that is hard to do. obvioulsly your brother dosen't want help so the chances of him quitting are next to zero right now, but there is hope. your parents are also in huge denial and you sound like the only one that understands what's going on to some degree. bottom line, your bro will take you and your family down with him and that's what worries me. is there any chance your parents would be willing to read some posts on here. there are a few parents on this forum trying to understand addiction better and help their children. there is a really nice lady on here that has seen her children battle addiction, crack included. if your parents really care about their son and themselves then something needs to be done before something devastating happens. crack may be the single hardest drug to quit. would they ever check this site out or get counselling?
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Avatar universal
I'm not even certain this guy is a drug dealer.  He might just be pretending to be a drug dealer to scare my parents.  My brother actually gave his brand new car to this guy and they sold it to a dealership for $5000 supposedly, surely to get more crack money.  He told my parents it was to pay the drug dealer back.  My parents seem so shocked every time they catch him in a lie and it's really frustrating.  It's not like this is his first time. This is a 6 year saga of meth and crack use, in and out of jail, in and out of rehab that my parents paid for time and time again.  He was 18 months clean and then went back to it after getting some money in a settlement.  He smoked up all the money and now is trying to drain my parents bank account. I'm feeling more emotions at once than I ever have.  Hatred for my brother, pain for my parents, but also complete and utter anger and frustration with my parents, fear for everyone's safety, and just total hopelessness about this whole situation.  I mean, I don't see my parents ever having the strength to totally cut him off. I told them that he'll eventually call and be pleading for his life to get them to pay and they will because they always cave and give in to him.  Even afterwards my mom says she knows it's all a scam but because it was such a scary situation and they just want peace from all this, they're willing to buy his crack so he'll leave them alone.  It's infuriating!

My mom thinks a drug counselor will tell them they're doing the wrong thing by turning their backs.  She thinks they're bad parents even though they've done nothing but help him for 6 years of drug abuse and 24 years of his crappy life.  

Thanks for letting me vent.  I am just really fed up with the whole situation.
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Avatar universal
im sorry to hear about your brother, crack is a terrible drug and i have been around many crackheads in my life. they will lie better than anyone you have ever met, they will steal and risk death to get that hit. it is one of the absolute worst drugs there is. my only suggestion is to tell them not to believe one single word that comes out of his mouth, im sorry, but it's the truth. your parents are enabling him with money to buy and you said the drug dealer lives with him and threatning? call the cops, do not answer. if your parents continue enabling, they will be doing this forever. they do not deserve to have to go through this, i know it is hard. i think the best thing would be for them to talk to a drug counsellor and learn how to make this problem only your brothers problem, it's too much for someone to deal with someone using crack, trust me. i wish you the best of luck and i hope your brother gets some help, cause without it the road he is going down is a dead end.
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Avatar universal
#1-voice mail and text messages can be used as evidence, so obviously this dealer isnt too bright. i am a 25 year crack addict. have them cut him off!! he will never get to his bottom if they keep enabling him. it wont end as long as they continue to enable him in his addiction. Go to my page and check my journal, i have been EVERYWHERE this evil drug can take you. have your parents check out some co-dependent meetings, they will help them help him. you all have to realize he is making the decision to use so he has to take responsibility for those actions. message me direct if you need more support, i have to work 2day but will be back on this afternoon. thoughts and prayers are with u and ur family
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