Aa
My first time asking for help. I can't quit.
First, sending love to all that hurt on here. Thank you for sharing your stories.
I'm not that open about things but I'm crying out now. I have a lot at stake and I just need someone to point me in the right direction. The reason I'm here is I can't quit opiate abuse.
I've always liked taking lortabs recreationally, since my first one at 12 yrs old after an appendectomy and I've always looked for them. I've never had money so it always kept this potential habit from getting out of hand. A few here and there was all I could afford.
About five years ago, age 41 then which means I'm 46 now I had back probs that led to my Dr. giving me 120 10's a month. I also started a business that was so blessed that it took off almost overnight. The tabs, at that time fueled my fire for building the business. Now that I had extra money I found them on the street because of tolerance build up.
Long story short. I've managed to keep from using other drugs but I have been using 10-12 10mg tabs, three to four times a day for the last...almost four years. You know I have done some serious damage to my body/liver.
I've detoxed myself twice in the last year but both times as soon as I got through all the pain of detox, I'd start over again. I can't quit and I can't take the prescribed amount. I have no willpower. I'm dying, inside and out.
Guys, there is a lot more sob story but you guys all know what else is happening. I want ME back. I just have a few questions.
1. I'm not afraid to self detox, I can do that. I have insurance but I live in a very small town and if news like this got out, it could damage my business. My family knows, I just told them, that's all that needs to know. So my question is, since I can't quit after detox, should I go to a rehab? If so, I've read horror stories about them, can anyone suggest a good one anywhere in the USA? Or what should I look for?
2. Is there any disadvantages about using my insurance? My current Dr. and everyone in his office knows me and my family, if I go through him, everyone in town would know. If I can self pay, should I do that? How do I get around using my Dr.?
3: A friend gave me a few suboxone after day 7 or 8 of detox and they felt great. I've read the stories of getting off them but if they give my kidneys a break and will help me with cravings after detox, should I use this type product?
4. If I can self detox, start going to group sessions...etc, what do I have to do to get the Subs for cravings? I don't want to buy them off the street and I don't have the fortitude to quit.
I'm trying to take least expensive way but no matter the cost, this has to be the "right" way. All input is appreciated. Thank you all and may you all be blessed.
I'm not that open about things but I'm crying out now. I have a lot at stake and I just need someone to point me in the right direction. The reason I'm here is I can't quit opiate abuse.
I've always liked taking lortabs recreationally, since my first one at 12 yrs old after an appendectomy and I've always looked for them. I've never had money so it always kept this potential habit from getting out of hand. A few here and there was all I could afford.
About five years ago, age 41 then which means I'm 46 now I had back probs that led to my Dr. giving me 120 10's a month. I also started a business that was so blessed that it took off almost overnight. The tabs, at that time fueled my fire for building the business. Now that I had extra money I found them on the street because of tolerance build up.
Long story short. I've managed to keep from using other drugs but I have been using 10-12 10mg tabs, three to four times a day for the last...almost four years. You know I have done some serious damage to my body/liver.
I've detoxed myself twice in the last year but both times as soon as I got through all the pain of detox, I'd start over again. I can't quit and I can't take the prescribed amount. I have no willpower. I'm dying, inside and out.
Guys, there is a lot more sob story but you guys all know what else is happening. I want ME back. I just have a few questions.
1. I'm not afraid to self detox, I can do that. I have insurance but I live in a very small town and if news like this got out, it could damage my business. My family knows, I just told them, that's all that needs to know. So my question is, since I can't quit after detox, should I go to a rehab? If so, I've read horror stories about them, can anyone suggest a good one anywhere in the USA? Or what should I look for?
2. Is there any disadvantages about using my insurance? My current Dr. and everyone in his office knows me and my family, if I go through him, everyone in town would know. If I can self pay, should I do that? How do I get around using my Dr.?
3: A friend gave me a few suboxone after day 7 or 8 of detox and they felt great. I've read the stories of getting off them but if they give my kidneys a break and will help me with cravings after detox, should I use this type product?
4. If I can self detox, start going to group sessions...etc, what do I have to do to get the Subs for cravings? I don't want to buy them off the street and I don't have the fortitude to quit.
I'm trying to take least expensive way but no matter the cost, this has to be the "right" way. All input is appreciated. Thank you all and may you all be blessed.
>>"Also guys, I have what I think is severe depression. If I werent a coward or had people depending on me...I have thought many times about the "S" word. Can I get dual care? Or just get through this first and worry about that later?" \
Sweetheart, I just wanna say one thing to you on this subject: my father killed himself last year and the damage he has done to my family has split what used to be a close, tight-knit family into shards of broken glass.
My mom had a nervous breakdown and has developed health issues so severe that she can no longer work due to the stress of losing her life partner.
My brother has completely disconnected from me and our mom, claiming he can't handle seeing her like this so I am left as an "only child" taking care of my mother in addition to my own 2 children. My entire life is suffering.
Now, I know you say you have no one depending on you but make no mistake about it - the "S" word is EXTREMELY far-reaching and can destroy someone's spirit who you never would have suspected. Please try medication before you make a permanent decision to a temporary problem. There are meds out there that can save your life, and I'm living proof.
We only have one shot in this world - trust me, it's worth it. :)
Sweetheart, I just wanna say one thing to you on this subject: my father killed himself last year and the damage he has done to my family has split what used to be a close, tight-knit family into shards of broken glass.
My mom had a nervous breakdown and has developed health issues so severe that she can no longer work due to the stress of losing her life partner.
My brother has completely disconnected from me and our mom, claiming he can't handle seeing her like this so I am left as an "only child" taking care of my mother in addition to my own 2 children. My entire life is suffering.
Now, I know you say you have no one depending on you but make no mistake about it - the "S" word is EXTREMELY far-reaching and can destroy someone's spirit who you never would have suspected. Please try medication before you make a permanent decision to a temporary problem. There are meds out there that can save your life, and I'm living proof.
We only have one shot in this world - trust me, it's worth it. :)
when you say recovery program, do you mean a 30 day in patient? If I may ask your circumstances and if you used subs.
As a side note, some of the places I've talked to have the patient getting off the subs in a month or so.
As a side note, some of the places I've talked to have the patient getting off the subs in a month or so.
Add on.
Almost all 30 day programs say they will precertify if i just give them my insurance info. Is that easier?
Also guys, I have what I think is severe depression. If I werent a coward or had people depending on me...I have thought many times about the "S" word. Can I get dual care? Or just get through this first and worry about that later?
I know its a lot of questions and I appreciate everyone's patience. Peace and love!
Almost all 30 day programs say they will precertify if i just give them my insurance info. Is that easier?
Also guys, I have what I think is severe depression. If I werent a coward or had people depending on me...I have thought many times about the "S" word. Can I get dual care? Or just get through this first and worry about that later?
I know its a lot of questions and I appreciate everyone's patience. Peace and love!
The anticipation of it is almost as bed as doing it. I couldn't get in a 30 day program in my timeline. I've already cut everyone off and only can last til Sunday. This has to be on my own so now my attention switches to after care which I've not done any research on. Any info is appreciated.
I may change my number, I've had it for a long time but just because you delete them doesnt mean they cant call you. Thanks and love to everybody.
As private a person as I am there is some relief just being able to come here and say things and actually have a human respond.
Ps. Almost every 30 day in my network uses subs. Can I just deny them?
I may change my number, I've had it for a long time but just because you delete them doesnt mean they cant call you. Thanks and love to everybody.
As private a person as I am there is some relief just being able to come here and say things and actually have a human respond.
Ps. Almost every 30 day in my network uses subs. Can I just deny them?
I agree with all of the support the others have given you. I simply wanted to add my concern about Suboxone. I too was given Suboxone to get off of heavy Norco use/abuse. It worked great to get off the Norco, but it was simply masking the WD's. Once I finished the 14 day suboxone I went through absolute hell. It was the wrong move for me to use suboxone. The detox from Norco is tough (as I have done before) but it is nothing compared to the WD's and recovery time when switching to suboxone once the WD's kick in from the Norco. Please don't go the suboxone path. I don't want to see someone suffer as I had. It's horrible.
Broke, there is a law called HIPAA law which absolutely prohibits folks working in a medical practice from disclosing any information regarding your medical condition or status. I suggest calling your doctor and asking for an appointment--say it is for anything, headaches, tummy aches, it doesn't matter. And then go to the appointment and come clean only to him in the examination room. No nurse or MA in there. He absolutely cannot, nor can his staff, disclose your information. If they do, they are in major violation of the HIPPA law and that could cost him hundreds of thousands of dollars in fines. Go for it. Good luck on your detox, I am on day three and it absolutely is a *****! But I will make it:-) I am confident this time, my attitude is where it needs to be and I never want to go through this kind of physical pain again. No drug is worth losing your life over.
You can do it!
You can do it!
You're so right about my hesitation. I'm still, at this point, don't have it solid in my mind how to succeed. Only had one Dr. so most of my was off the street. The time to do it is getting closer and the anxiety is setting in. sigh. Thank you guys again and kyle, thanks for seeing through my plan and giving me something else to think about.
Welcome my friend. Yeah, detox ***** and I am with you there! Willpower? Come on, you can do it! I can't. Join the crew of experts here. Easy to make the plan, hard to execute. You need this forum and a close person to slowly bring you off the pills. SLOWLY. Your mind will play tricks and it's pretty funny to listen to the head... so many stories to trick you to take a pill. You have had many good suggestions here. Stay with us. Try something different... any time you want a pill, down a 12 ounce of Pepsi... I did that once and it didn't work. Good luck and congrats on building a business.
Many of us have used large amounts for many years. I used for over 15 years. So, what I have to say comes from my experience and from my heart.
Even though you are reaching out, and getting some great advice by the way, I still see some hesitation with regard to your accepting what has to be done in order to lay a solid foundation for recovery. Rehab, rapid detox, etc., will not get you any closer to recovery unless you are willing to do the hard work. You have to cut your sources; if you haven't already, you need to tell your doc, dentist, pharmacy - any possible source for meds - that you are an addict and should thus be red flagged as such. I don't care how much help you are getting, finding the root of your addiction can be a long process, and if you don't shield yourself from accessing meds, you will relapse. Next, you DO need to tell your secret. If you are worried about whispers/what other's may say, then you will not succeed. Telling your secret is very hard, but if you don't you will eventually use behind it. And finally, get aftercare. This site is great, but it is not a substitute for NA meetings. You need to talk with other addicts face to face. You need to get a sponsor. Very important. And stay away from subs (my opinion). As you know, your head will never stop talking to you. The temptation will always be there; it just gets easier to deal with the longer you're clean.
Good luck. You are the only one who can do this.
Even though you are reaching out, and getting some great advice by the way, I still see some hesitation with regard to your accepting what has to be done in order to lay a solid foundation for recovery. Rehab, rapid detox, etc., will not get you any closer to recovery unless you are willing to do the hard work. You have to cut your sources; if you haven't already, you need to tell your doc, dentist, pharmacy - any possible source for meds - that you are an addict and should thus be red flagged as such. I don't care how much help you are getting, finding the root of your addiction can be a long process, and if you don't shield yourself from accessing meds, you will relapse. Next, you DO need to tell your secret. If you are worried about whispers/what other's may say, then you will not succeed. Telling your secret is very hard, but if you don't you will eventually use behind it. And finally, get aftercare. This site is great, but it is not a substitute for NA meetings. You need to talk with other addicts face to face. You need to get a sponsor. Very important. And stay away from subs (my opinion). As you know, your head will never stop talking to you. The temptation will always be there; it just gets easier to deal with the longer you're clean.
Good luck. You are the only one who can do this.
I can't thank you guys enough for you replies.
A few things stood out, the first thing was "rehab 30days or MORE so u can get used 2 feeling sober while they teach u about aftercare,get u n the habit and u can get a real opportunity to see qhat it feels like to b sober for days,weeks"
I didn't wait before, I was so happy about how clear headed I was that my brain told me I could take the prescribed amount and be fine. That lasted about three days.
It's not the Dr. I'm worried about about, it's all the office workers that I went to school with. They will whisper under their breath. I know I shouldn't worry about it but if I can avoid it, all the better.
I think I've decided to use my insurance and do a 30 day program. overopiates is right, I need to know what it's like to live cleanly before I come back to my world.
I am remotely thinking about rapid detox, just dont know what to believe about that one.
Have more to say maybe laster tonight but thanks for the replies. I will keep this forum informed. Got lots to do as I'm trying to have a plan in place by Sunday.
A few things stood out, the first thing was "rehab 30days or MORE so u can get used 2 feeling sober while they teach u about aftercare,get u n the habit and u can get a real opportunity to see qhat it feels like to b sober for days,weeks"
I didn't wait before, I was so happy about how clear headed I was that my brain told me I could take the prescribed amount and be fine. That lasted about three days.
It's not the Dr. I'm worried about about, it's all the office workers that I went to school with. They will whisper under their breath. I know I shouldn't worry about it but if I can avoid it, all the better.
I think I've decided to use my insurance and do a 30 day program. overopiates is right, I need to know what it's like to live cleanly before I come back to my world.
I am remotely thinking about rapid detox, just dont know what to believe about that one.
Have more to say maybe laster tonight but thanks for the replies. I will keep this forum informed. Got lots to do as I'm trying to have a plan in place by Sunday.
II went to a recovery program and I loved it, they gave me the 12 step program and it totally changed my life. With the 12 step program in my life I am able to live way happier. I go to support group meetings and have a sponsor who is 12 years clean. I have 20 months now and am very happy. Good wishes to you.
Im glad u came here.VERY smart decision2ask for help.1st I wanna say u CANT get subs just4when u r craving.Thats not how it works.U can detox@home which is great.U r trying2figure out what2do afterward2STAY clean.1st ur regular doctor wnt know about a rehab,even if u tell ur doc about this they
legally CAN NOT tell anyone.If he did u could
sue him&get BIG MONEY.I will say you SHOULD talk2him.Be100%honest.Explain what u told us
that u have a problem nit usibg after u go through w/d.BTW VERY COMMON.If I were u
this is what I would do.1st tying is call n the morning,make an appointment4AS SOON AS U CAN2talk2ur doctor.Ask his advice.This is beneficial for a few reasons1u cut off that source more important though u will get a lot of support&advice.Drs c addicts who abuse meds but RARELY do they have a patient b honest&ask for help.U have options of rehab which I think would be amazing for u because u can get n the habit of doing aftercare(u go2lots of meetings,learn coping skills and SO MUCH MORE).Subs r looked at by people who dnt know about them enough as some miracle but u have no idea how bad the withdrawl is,how long it takes2come off of them.Its like trading a monkey on ur back for a gorilla.U need2b n rehab 30days or MORE so u can get used 2 feeling sober while they teach u about aftercare,get u n the habit and u can get a real opportunity to see qhat it feels like to b sober for days,weeks.Also u IMMEDIATELY need2cut off ALL ur outside/street sources like YESTERDAY.If its REAL friends(people u knew BEFORE u were using)or family u CANT cut out of ur life then explain ur done,getting help,tell them NEVER2offer them2u,that u cnt b around them if they r using etc.Otherwise simply call/text ALL ur source and say simply"I am quitting lortabs FOR GOOD,please dnt contact me anymore,I dnt need2know when u have them.I dnt need the temptation,Im NOT giving another dime2ANYONE4them".After that delete all contacts from ur phone.You have2cut ALL ties2getting them or u will NEVER stay clean.U really need2learn,get n the habit of aftercare&learn2b held accountable for what u do,take and its great u told ur family.Now its time2tell ur doctor.I understand u wnting somthog2help w/cravings but that will take AFTERCARE(N.A. meetings,group or alone therapy,seeing an addiction specialist,posting here helps a lot too just whatever works for u).I dnt c why u need2get on subs as its lortabs not heroin&even then they try2do a21day sub uae then try2get u off.Ive been here2+yrs&NEVER have I seen ANYONE who is trying2come off subs which they got on2get off pain pills of all different kinds/heroin and EVERYONE regrets it(going on subs for any amount of time)same goes for methadone.U can get through the physical w/d of tabs 95%of physical is gone n7-10days THEN u have2b taught how2deal w/the mental part.It takes MANY months of slow tapering where u feel pretty crummy 90%+of the time through the WHOLE process of months of tapering.Ive seen many people trilled w/the"miracle subs or methadone"so happy then months or 99%of the time yrs later they come off and wish they NEVER DID THAT.U will b able2discreetly go2a rehab,be honest,get n2meetings,get a sponser.MAKE A PLAN BE HONEST.
legally CAN NOT tell anyone.If he did u could
sue him&get BIG MONEY.I will say you SHOULD talk2him.Be100%honest.Explain what u told us
that u have a problem nit usibg after u go through w/d.BTW VERY COMMON.If I were u
this is what I would do.1st tying is call n the morning,make an appointment4AS SOON AS U CAN2talk2ur doctor.Ask his advice.This is beneficial for a few reasons1u cut off that source more important though u will get a lot of support&advice.Drs c addicts who abuse meds but RARELY do they have a patient b honest&ask for help.U have options of rehab which I think would be amazing for u because u can get n the habit of doing aftercare(u go2lots of meetings,learn coping skills and SO MUCH MORE).Subs r looked at by people who dnt know about them enough as some miracle but u have no idea how bad the withdrawl is,how long it takes2come off of them.Its like trading a monkey on ur back for a gorilla.U need2b n rehab 30days or MORE so u can get used 2 feeling sober while they teach u about aftercare,get u n the habit and u can get a real opportunity to see qhat it feels like to b sober for days,weeks.Also u IMMEDIATELY need2cut off ALL ur outside/street sources like YESTERDAY.If its REAL friends(people u knew BEFORE u were using)or family u CANT cut out of ur life then explain ur done,getting help,tell them NEVER2offer them2u,that u cnt b around them if they r using etc.Otherwise simply call/text ALL ur source and say simply"I am quitting lortabs FOR GOOD,please dnt contact me anymore,I dnt need2know when u have them.I dnt need the temptation,Im NOT giving another dime2ANYONE4them".After that delete all contacts from ur phone.You have2cut ALL ties2getting them or u will NEVER stay clean.U really need2learn,get n the habit of aftercare&learn2b held accountable for what u do,take and its great u told ur family.Now its time2tell ur doctor.I understand u wnting somthog2help w/cravings but that will take AFTERCARE(N.A. meetings,group or alone therapy,seeing an addiction specialist,posting here helps a lot too just whatever works for u).I dnt c why u need2get on subs as its lortabs not heroin&even then they try2do a21day sub uae then try2get u off.Ive been here2+yrs&NEVER have I seen ANYONE who is trying2come off subs which they got on2get off pain pills of all different kinds/heroin and EVERYONE regrets it(going on subs for any amount of time)same goes for methadone.U can get through the physical w/d of tabs 95%of physical is gone n7-10days THEN u have2b taught how2deal w/the mental part.It takes MANY months of slow tapering where u feel pretty crummy 90%+of the time through the WHOLE process of months of tapering.Ive seen many people trilled w/the"miracle subs or methadone"so happy then months or 99%of the time yrs later they come off and wish they NEVER DID THAT.U will b able2discreetly go2a rehab,be honest,get n2meetings,get a sponser.MAKE A PLAN BE HONEST.
Hi I'm jon hope your feeling a little better, like my friends said stick around here you ll get plenty of advice, input, food for thought, I'm an opiate addict Not fussy as long as it was opiates now yrs later I'm coming down off methadone & I was thinking the suboxone route for me as well, first I was going to jump at 30ml then 25ml & now I'm at 15ml will begoing to 10ml very soon & Somthing keeps telling me why prolong the WDs by going on them for 28 days when if I stop at 5ml or 3 or 2ml I'd be over the worst of my methadone WDs. So I'm an old timer with drugs !! I'm only 37yrs but feel 67yrs old :( & if I can see that replacing one drug for a worse one isn't the best idea But I know this is your recovery just think long and hard about subs as some folks liked them because they work others say stay away But this is your life screw everyone else( neighbours etc ) they aren't gonna be able to do this for you. Sorry if u can't understand a word of what I wrote not sleeping well at all one day sleep next none!!! week 2 of this cr*p :( but just like you & everyone on here WE will fight this illness to the very end & win the war. God BLESS ( ohh fcuk sleep debravations kicked in ) lol also have u thought that the relapses happened because you never got after-care? Na AA CA speaking to someone who isn't close to you can help too. As I said this is your battle & fight tooth & nail do everything in your power to get & stay clean!!! good luck stay on forms friends will answer & help with what u need to know( think iv even bored myself with this long post) time to try Zzzzz again ;)
I just wanted you to know that my thoughts are going out to you...know we all will support whichever route you choose...others with more experience will be around to give you advice...I just want you to know you are not alone...
welcome to the forum...just wanted to lend my support to you...i don't have any experience with subs...but i did come off a 12 a day habit similar to yours...i detoxed at home and now go to meetings and have an addiction counselor i see once a week....i didn't go to rehab because of the cost, so i did detox at home, alone. It can be done as you know,and glad you told your family, you will need their support. As for whether rehab is for you, only you can make that decision but if you cannot stay away from the pills, maybe that would be a good idea. I know how it is about not wanting your business to falter because of this, i too didn't want my job finding out. But i do know you have to do what's best for YOU, whether people in your home town find out or not. Your life is more important than what people think. I just celebrated 6 months clean of hydro 10's.
Good luck to you on this journey...you can do this...just have to decide what route is best for you.....i have read on here that subs are a b**tch to WD from as well....so something to think about there. More people will chime in with experience and support....hang close to this site...the people here are great!!
Good luck to you on this journey...you can do this...just have to decide what route is best for you.....i have read on here that subs are a b**tch to WD from as well....so something to think about there. More people will chime in with experience and support....hang close to this site...the people here are great!!
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