My gf is on herion help!!!

[MzAnn2]

ok here goes ..Im very new to the whole drug thing..my name is ann my gf is G  well when i meet her 6mnths ago she told me she had been clean for 3yrs...i didnt give it a second thought but then about a month ago she left at the strangest time and we got into a fight and i demaned to know what would make you leave in the middle of us being intimate..so of course i said who is she...she was so upset her responce was as she pulled out of her pocket aa small shiny package...IM A DOPEHINE...I cried ...she said she detoxed after that ...long story short she is using and more often then before...I have kicked her out of our bed...and thinking very seriously of out of my life for good..I dont think i can help..so she should take this trip alone..it tears me apart ,the smell,the nods,the sex drive..the thought of her slowly killing herself :(...help plz

[Ronnie152]

Hi and welcome to the form. I am sorry you are going through this, but I am more sorry in saying there is nothing you can do. If she doesn't want to stop no one can help her. She is going to have to want this. You have to do what is right for you, dont let her take you down too! Good luck.

[MzAnn2]

Its wierd its exactly how i feel...I cant rest always worried cause i never know whats gonna happen next...

[SophieShine]

Welcome Ann, I completely agree with Ronnie here, but I have some friends who are fighting H. I'll post them and they'll probably come asap.
Hang in there. We're all here to help any way we can.        Sophie.

[dominosarah]

Welcome to the forum!!!  I agree with Ronnie too.  Until she is ready there is nothing you can do for her.  Take care of yourself.           sara

[Michelle_Shawn]

The only thing you can do is to take care of yourself. I would suggest going to an Al-anon meeting ESPECIALLY if you plan on staying in this relationship. Addiction is such a family disease and usually the one using isnt the only one dependent on something. Take care orf yourself.

[dominosarah]

Good point Michelle!!!

[MzAnn2]

ty..Im afraid to stay and afraid to leave..If i stay it no good for me...and if i leave her im afraid she will get worse..is that usally how it works?

[dominosarah]

Yes it is how it works.  You have to do what is in the best interest for you.  Have you been with her for a long time??  Addiction can drag everyone down.  It is a very vicious cycle.  We arent trying to scare you here just telling you the truth.  It really is up to her if she wants off and she has to be willing to make the changes and stick with them.  This addiction doesnt just end after the wd's.  The mental part comes in then and that is the toughest.  Recovery is all about changing our behaviours and finding out why we used in the first place and getting the tools to keep us clean.  Let us know how things are going......Just make YOU the no.1 priority.         sara

[MzAnn2]

This addiction doesnt just end after the wd's.??????? not sure what that means but I hear you loud and clear Sara ...not long at all only six months but now that i think back her behavior has always been kindda wierd and it feels more like a couple of years...omg!!! im crying because this is such a relief the people i know are such a snoody bunch they gave me the look for even dating her she is more of a thug,, but i thought she had a beautiful heart..I finally feel like im getting some anserss instead of it constanly doing circles in my head..ty ladies so very much...

[stilltrying1965]

I agree with all the comments above your g/friend must want to come off herself or she never will. Myself and my wife are just 15 days clean off a 13 year heroin habit and believe me if you dont want to do it you wont. But it is possible if she wants to do it. But if she doesnt things will only get worse and i also agree with the bit about the w/ds. They are really bad but the emotional stuff is worse.it all depends on how much and how long and what way. She can do it if she wants it bad enough. Read my journals and itll tell you how bad it is and what to expect. Why dont you just get it all out in the open with her and see what she says. But its very hard to stay in a relationship when only 1 is using. Good luck and let us know whats happening

[SophieShine]

thanx, you're the best

[MzAnn2]

ty you all...but what is wd? and we have talked she told me its just something she need to do from time to time and thats why she is on the sofa now...

[stilltrying1965]

No probs Texas  Glad to help J&K

[MzAnn2]

?

[SophieShine]

LOL. sorry Ann, but stilltrying is the one I told you about earlier in my 1st comment. As I told you I posted him and I was just thanking him for responding...XXX. sophie.

[10356]

6mo. into a relationship with a Heroin addict I would cut my losses to be honest..  with all due respect to my friends stilltrying.. heroin is your first love in active addiction when only one is using...  most of us have to make a lot of changes in getting clean.. like no relationships as we are dealing with a lot of emotional baggage... I take it she has no aftercare no therapy to find the deep seated reason of use in the first place.. It is a long and difficult process in getting clean.. the addicts partner has to be committed 100% to their sobriety in order not be be a enabler.. It is a big responsibility.. The addict has to be committed 100% in their sobriety..only they themselves can hold themselves to this...I hope you take the time to think seriously about this as your life and desires will be comprised.. I do not mean to sound harsh our cruel.. it is the nature of the disease.. I wish your friend speed in getting back on the wagon and you well in your life.. lesa

[MzAnn2]

Oh he was very helpful as was all you guys ...thanks again

[Michelle_Shawn]

ann
if she is using regularly then every day she cant get high whether cause she cant find it or cant afford it, she will be withdrawing. It is not fun. But you cant push her to her bottom. She cant get better until she wants it and is realdy for it. As far as staying vs leaving? only you can answer that question. I mean we are sick people, even people who have been sober for 30 yrs - there are no guarentees. We need love just like anyone else. You just have to not be an enabler and take care of yourself. Al-anon is not about the loved one in your life using but about how you handle it. I would strongly recommend going to a meeting before making any decisions. They are all over the place.

[stilltrying1965]

w/d is withdrawals. Listen there is no one that uses heroin from time to time. It cannot be done. I dont mean to sound mean coz im really not but take it from someone whos wrote the book and got the t-shirt you cant do it from time to time. You do it ll the time. Does she want help coming of heroin or is she still going to keep using. How much does she take a day. And how does she take it?

[MzAnn2]

a couple of days ago is when she told me she wouldn't stop..i kiecked her out the bed...but last night she said she is tired of it and wants to come back in the room with me so she said shes gonna stop and not gonna use today so she is sleep as we speak and she plans on sleeping it off is what she told me to prepare for work tommorrow...this is all so crazy to me because i dont know what to believe or how it really works she snorts it...how much im not sure she hides that part from me...plz tell me what u guys make out of that?

[MzAnn2]

10356...said it best to me....I feel very terrible for saying this but im tired of her already...i suppose its the drugs that makes her accuses me of cheating and not being there for her all the time which both are not true...I have issues of my own and afraid i cant or dont even want to help her work threw hers...but be really honest with me do you thing it will cause her disease to worsing because of me break up with her :(...omg if you guys knew her sober...she is such a beauty on the inside

[10356]

Most of us are.. It is the work it takes to keep us this way.. honey I'm sorry but she is accusing you of things that fly out of the mouth of addicts.. we look to place blame.. she will hit bottom with our without you.. take care of yourself.. carry no resentment in your heart.. but get on with your life.. you sound intelligent use it to your advantage.. I wish your gf well but only she can get herself clean.. and as stilltrying said a heroin addict does not just use occasionally...

[MzAnn2]

thank you...for being so honest

[Michelle_Shawn]

if she is serious about getting sober she needs help. It is not something you can do on your own. the withdrawal is just the begining. Is she willing to go to treatment? If not, then I have to question her sincerity about quitting. We all tru so many times on our own until we surrender and get the help we need.

[mandy73120]

stilltyring is realy done well he has sat in my house with myself and my partner he no,s that all he has to do is ask but if any one is willing to quit heroin and sit in the same room with pepole who you no have got the devils drug and not touch it your doing well and if you do ask james you will probebley not get any.mand.x

[flmagi]

MzAnn2,  What you also need to realize is that drug addiction is a life long disease. A person may stop the drugs and be in recovery, but the addiction will always be there. It will always be an issue, major or minor, it will be there. An addict doesn't just suddenly get better, go on and never think about it again. Once an addict always an addict, even if you're clean and in recovery.
If you don't feel you can deal with the recovery, the relapses, the treatments, the long long road to recovery and everything else that goes with addiction, then dragging this relationship on is not a good idea. For you or her.
Good luck to you both.

[Crying_Freeman]

When she told you about her addiction, do you think it was a cry for help?
I know how hard it is to come clean and honest to your partner about your addiction...... maybe she wants your help but didn't know how to go about it..
You should make her open up and find out what she wants from you.... then take it from there
All the best, i hope this helps =)

[mr.lucky66]

The addiction and recovery could be more complicated with your lifestyle choices. Either way it's not easy and will take a lot of work and junkies can't tell the truth, I couldn't all the best