I don't know what to do anymore, I am at my wits end. I have chronic pain, am on oxy 40mg, now klonopin 1mg, and perc 10mg for breakthrough pain.
I use to keep my medication @ home, where I would find it missing, sometimes an entire bottle disappearing. I found out my husband was taking them, when I found one of my bottles hid in the fan duct in the bathroom one night.
I decided to buy a safe, then a key came up missing. So now, I take my medication to work and bring home only what I need for the night. The problem, as soon as he finds out someone takes those medications, he's constantly asking for some (sometimes they give to him, sometimes they don't) I've had to explain to people, his problem and be embarrassed to have to sit someone down and explain this. Once in a while, he will find the few I bring home for myself. I've taken him off my insurance, because he was abusing a doctor. (Which I turned in to our state) My husband has no prior medical history to warrent giving him those medications, plus the dr never took any tests, just wrote scripts..with each visit higher in dosage and mg. I don't know what to do anymore, I don't know how to help him. He will be fine, as long as there is no drugs to take. He took 20 from me the other day, so now going on this ride with him until he takes his last one. I don't know how much longer I can do this, I feel like the detective 24/7. I have to monitor who he sees based on what they take. It's sad and very depressing for me. His moods change, he gets very out of control at times. Only with his mouth, not physically. I need help and I don't know where to turn.
I am so sorry to hear this...If he is now addicted to them it is going to be very hard to get him to "Just Stop" all at once...You see when we become addicted, it is so easy for someone who is not in our shoes to tell us to stop. Our minds tell us that we need them and when we don't have them it changed who we are inside...as well as our feelings of how we act towards others.
You need to sit with him and ask him flat out if he feels he is addicted, Let him know you are not going to be mad at him, just tell him that you just want to help. If he can be honest enough with you, (which is hard to do) then that will be the first step.
You see this is what we do, we will steal from whoever we have to just to be able to get that feeling. Please listen to him and let him know you want to be there for him and that you want to understand what he is going through, this might help you to be able to help him better.
After asking him, come back here and let me know, okay? Then i can have more advice for you....
This is a hard thing to go through, and i am sorry you have to feel like a detective, but let him know you are not mad just wanna help him....
Until he wants to get off the drugs, there is nothing you can do. And even if he wants to get off of them, he might not be able to because of the withdrawals. You taking him off the insurance probably didn't help that aspect because he might need professional help, like a detox center.
Good luck, and try to support him all you can. I'm not sure telling everyone will help either, but to each his/her own.
That's right about the insurance, taking him off might not have been a good idea if he ends up needing rehab or even the Suboxone that many people take to get off their meds, plus I have never heard of losing your insurance as being a method of treating drug addiction. I know you said you have chronic pain and even if you do have a legit reason to take the meds, you can still become addicted, that is what happened to most of us here. I would think if you take your meds every day that you are very likely addicted yourself - I am sure you know how very addicting oxycontin and Percocet are. The day could come that you make be in your husband's shoes and do whatever it takes to get your meds - be very careful so that does not happen, please take warning and do not let your life get messed up like some many people here have.
you have your hands full with an addict in full blown addiction.........
If you want to still support him and love him than do it in an inpatient
drug rehab and tell him you want him to clean up his addict......
Think about it you already had to buy a frigging safe to store your
meds.........that isn't working think about it........
Sometimes tough love is the best way and in your situation I would
highly recommend it.....you have to be getting very sick of what is
going on around you, you can't make him try for stopping using and
trying to get to recovery......but you have to protect yourself......
I'm sorry and sympathetic for your situation but you must make the
first move it will be very difficult for you is there some kind of family
support someone maybe from his family to help you but he has
probably burned all those bridges....
Good Luck and be strong with your convictions and morals......
I have to say, it's been one hell of a ride. I knew he took the last of the pills that he took from me 2 nights ago. Today, for the first time he woke up normal. I've sat with him, discussed this many times over. After it's all said and done, he's utterly sorry and crys and feels bad and is hard on himself. Like i've said, me taking my pills to work is the only thing I can do to make sure nothing in a big amount is in this house.
As for the friends we had, where he got the xanax from. I sat with them last night and explained his problem. They also, are taking action to make sure their pills aren't lying around in view when we are over. It's sad that everyone must keep an eye out.
We are buying a new house, we move in Friday (this upcoming Friday) I sat this morning and explained, how am I going to do it on my own. He understands, it's just the matter of keeping the pills out of his reach. He will always state, this time is the last time. The time before this was over a year ago. Now I see, that I must always be on top of it and can never let my gaurd down. It was a mistake for me to fill my script here in town, instead of doing it where I work (which is a state away). I thank all of you for your support and the night I wrote my comment, I was in such a depression. I didn't know how to handle it anymore. To be honest, I have been taking my meds for over 15 years, and to be honest if a dr. tomorrow told me I'd no longer be getting them...who knows the effect it would have on me. I have 4 blown disks in my back and suffer from severe neuropathy. I know a safe isn't worth a damn. At the same time, when you truly are in pain and needs your pain meds, but can't keep them at home (like, weekends when I'm not working, or late at night) I am the one who suffers in pain, all so he doesn't get his hands on my meds.
He won't seek help, I've asked, I've begged.
He states just keep them away from him and he'll be fine. Yet, you always... always run into someone who takes them. Then they don't know his problem and end up giving him a few here and there. It's a never ending cycle.
We have 3 kids, who go through this as well. We all love him, we'd never leave him over this. He needs help, we just don't know how to get him to that point.
It almost brings me to tears to know that people out there truly care and understand and just for all of you to wrote a comment, made me happy today reading them. I don't feel so alone.
Hopeless, I am so sorry for what you have or am still or did go through. I am here for you if you ever need someone to speak to as well.
He prefers xanax if he can get his hands on them. Since I was switced to oxycontin, I noticed him doing alot of research on them and then that's when mine ended up gone.
(I also don't tell EVERYONE, it's been our friends) As I stated, some of the people we do know, take them for real reasons, not to get a high and he'll ask them for pills and they don't understand that he's addicted and don't think its a big deal to give him 1 or 2. Meanwhile, that is what sets off the entire thing, him getting that one taste. SO I've had no choice but to explain to them, so they don't give him any.
The insurance - how could I let him go on, getting scripts with 150 percs, 90 xanax and 10 mg oxy (is what he got from the dr.) with monthly refills. That's insane to let that go on. I rather pay, myself outright for his medical care, than allow him to go to a candy man to keep his habit going.
Also - it's a very hard thing to go through, for the kids mostly. They are older, and understand what is going on. They also love him very much, and all we want is for him to gain some help. I am willing to do anything. He is a good man, he's a good father, he would take the shirt off of his back to give to someone in need. Yet, he can't help himself.
So sorry u are going through this i have went through something similar for the last 4 yrs. He needs help to identify what he is doing and make changes to deal with it. The truth is he will very able to get another Dr or insurance and if its not pain pills it can become something else. You need to become independent of him because until he gets help you are putting yourself and kids at risk. Make sure u save money for a rainy day and make yourself as strong as possible because i have went been through this and u go from lover and friend to policing him and mother.It can mess up your relationship because he is not being responsible.Urge him to get help
Your story is exactly like mine! I also had to keep my medications locked up at my work. I finally decided after 15 years of not having my medications when I needed them to stop having my doctor write them for me. I have suffered this long, the pain hasn't killed me so I might as well embrace it. On the other hand, my husband has a doctor that is freely writing him narcotics. In the past two years he has hardly been conscious. I spend more days wishing he would just die from an overdose. Thanks to everyone on this blog for adding your comments. My thoughts from reading all of this and living it - there is nothing any of us can do to help the addict. And the non-addict needs to save ourselves from the addict. Easier said then done!
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