My new additions

[tigerlily75]

Well day 11 is here, and ive been working hard to replace old addictions and hobbies with new positive ones. And ive realized that im addicted to this mh site! Just like i used to be with pills, this site is the first thing I think about in the morning! I love having a place to come and be myself and get support from what I feel like is family!

I also have a few new hobbies, reading, music, my kids like always and soon na and walking, running, exercises...

[tigerlily75]

Well, you have all definitely convinced me to rethink the whole hysterectomy thing. Maybe I'll talk to my Dr this week.

I've been reading posts and I've noticed Alot of female problems and mental, depression bipolar etc...I wonder if there's a connection to our disease of addiction???

I finally got the kids to sleep and I'm reading my book beach music, which I LOVE by the way! You were right kbusymom!

And the just came across this great line, "I do not know why it is that I have always been happier thinking of somewhere I have been or wanted to go, then where I am at the time. I find it difficult to be happy in the present."

Hmmmm reminds me of me...

[karmawitch]

Just a quick note to say hey, and that i am off to get Takedown Twenty--I need something to take me off my mind.

You sound so solid today! Great to hear about the good, normal details of  your day. Ick on the female pains. I had a hysterectomy and woke up feeling better than I had in so long.

I am off to bed now.

Night!

[tigerlily75]

Ok ladies lol...well I've had cysts bust and removed but nobody told me what size fruit they were lol!

And yes, I need to just have the hysterectomy! I'm not working now and I still have insurance for the moment. It could definitely stop a lot of my pain.
Now the downfall is I'm a single mom no help, I certainly hope I could bounce back in 3 days, but being an addict early in recovery, just a few pain pills is never enough and I'm scared I'll go all out. Plus, my body is already changing in so many ways, no opiates, tapering benzos, changing psych meds, trying to find what works, just to get in balance with that and then after a hysterectomy I'll have to deal with adding hormones to the mix, all just to be normal...i just don't know....

[Pat1956100]

lol, it WAS.  I wasn't going to brag but since you mentioned it............I won a blue ribbon too.

[Sonrissa]

Oh, I have no doubt that your cyst was bigger than mine. I heard it was entered into the Guinness Book of world Records! Congratulations!

[Pat1956100]

Oh yeah well my cyst was the size of a watermelon.

[Sonrissa]

I had a partial hysterectomy about 10 years ago. I had a grapefruit sized cyst and it was killing me with pain. They took everything except 1 ovary. I also, like Pat, wish I would have told them to take everything. But, I just want you to know that for me, the surgery was a piece of cake. I was out of the hospital the next day. I had very little pain, just some soreness. I took pain pills for maybe 3 days. This was long before I became addicted. I bounced back from my hysterectomy, very quickly. I have never regretted having the surgery. I was in my early 40s, and had given up any hope of having children at that point. Don't let the fear or anticipation scare you from having the surgery, if, it's the right thing for you to do!

[tigerlily75]

Oh pat,
I was trying to put it in words earlier, and you said it perfectly,

I remember that pain, and I wish every man and woman could experience it so they know what it was like. I am sure they just thought "its just your period every woman gets them suck it up" I would be writhing and sobbing the pain was so bad. It was like delivering a baby every month.

I could not have explained it better! You got to vent and I got the perfect explanation of how I feel in words!

I live with my parents and my mom had same female issues so she kinda understands when she's not whacked out of her mind. But my dad has said that same thing to me about just suck it up its just a period! Ugh if they only knew!

I would love to just have a hysterectomy but honestly I'm scared. Of the pain, of the pain pills, on trying to recover with kids and no help, of the hormones I would have to try....

[Pat1956100]

Ugh the pain.  I remember the pain and I sometimes wish every man and woman could experience it so they would know what it was like.  I am sure they all thought "it's just your freaking period, all women get them, suck it up".  I would be writhing and sobbing the pain was so bad.  It was like delivering a baby every month.
lol, oh that felt so good to vent.  I think I have been saving that up for years.
I had an ovary removed 3 months after the birth of my son because I had a huge cyst and I wish I had told them to take everything out.  
I would seriously consider the hysterectomy if you are sure that you don't want any more children.  Why go through this every month?  

[tigerlily75]

Thanks kbusymom!
And Your superwoman! Congrats on your clean time today! You are awesome!

Sonrissa,
Thanks doll! It helps to have people to talk to! And those are the exact 2 books I asked for for Christmas lol! Good taste! :)

[Sonrissa]

Hang in there Miss TL! You are getting through this. The woman stuff will be over in a few days! You are doing great!

The latest Grisham book, Sycamore Row is really good! I am almost through. I should finish it tonight. I wish I could send it to you, but it's on my IPad. The same goes for Evanovich book, Takedown Twenty.

Take care dear!

[Kbusymom]

See, you really are Superwoman!!  Nothing can get you down :)

[tigerlily75]

Ok, well disaster averted! I remembered I had not ate today, so I made me and my daughter lunch, ate, then got us ready to get out of the house and out of my head! Took some Excedrin and out we went in the cold!

As I was getting ready I looked in the mirror and was shocked! I don't look all sick like I did on pills! My face is all clear no breakouts and my skin is almost glowing. And oh my, my eyes. I can see the life and fire coming back! Better than a pill any day!

So me and my daughter went and got ice cream, I got the last 2 things on my Christmas list, and we picked my son up, and doing a little last minute shopping, wrapping paper bows and the like. I bought a 5 hour energy thing and a couple magazines too, just for me! And my son asked what I wanted for Christmas to which I usually reply nothing. But I said Janet evonovich books or John Grisham books!
Everything is good this way!

[tigerlily75]

So so so much pain. So so so much kid stuff to do. So so so much Christmas stuff to do. So so so much house stuff to do argh and dinner. I'm not going to lie, if I had pills I would take some. But instead I'm just posting here and venting. Oh lord please help me!

[tigerlily75]

Well who would have thought so many of us have the same issues!!! Hmmmmmm And yea depo Lupron and lortab was the first treatments I got with my diagnosis when I was 15. Stayed with that Dr 5 years. Changed drs they said you should only do that a year with the lupron stuff, and upped me to Percocet 10....somebody should look into this female stuff more!

[Kbusymom]

Soory you are in so much pain; I feel for you.  I have the same issues and was supposed to get a partial hysterectomy in Nov, but I postponed it.  I was too scared to have to be on narcotics so early in my recovery.  I'm still scared.  I can't risk opening that door yet.  Mr. dr gave me the 800 mg ibuprofen. The ibuprofen and heating pad help, but it still *****.  Hang in there; relax as much as you can and let your little  diva watch movies today.  

[mommymarieme]

I am sorry you are in so much pain with the woman stuff! Ugh I hate it I have them bad too. I have endometriosis and I get ovarian cysts too lol boo! Have you heard or tried depo lupron? My doc wants me to do those shots again to help with my cycle. I have had it before and you won't have a period because it stops the period and after you are done with the treatment it is supposed to make the pain not as bad but I don't know cuz I got pregnant lol so maybe ask your gyno if it is an option? For now I agree with ariley I just use the heating pad and use ibuprofen.

[ariley13]

You are probably feeling a lot more pain than you normally would due to it being early in your recovery. I'm sure it doesn't help right now, but it isn't going to be this bad forever. Our pain threshold is greatly lowered after we detox and it takes awhile to balance back out. Just like everything else unfortunately! I hope your daughter takes it easy on you today and you guys can just have a chill day. Have you tried the Thermacare patches? I know it won't help a whole lot, but at least you can wear it and move around with your kiddos.(And they make them specifically for tummy/female issues.) Sounds like a heating pad or bath is probably not in the cards right now.

[tigerlily75]

Jesus I am in such pain I can't concentrate or focus! Tried reading a few books or magazines, can't concentrate. Trying to do art with my daughter, can't focus. Thought about wrapping presents, but my daughter follows me everywhere so I'll have to do that later. Put on kung fu panda, cartoons only with my daughter so no good movies for me, and can't take a bath, me and my daughter are alone. I'm pretty done with wd symptoms now my female problems are just screaming at me, its like I can't hear anything else...ahhhh

[tigerlily75]

Yes exactly! It is no fun!

[ariley13]

Not good. You sound like me with this stuff. Nothing works and basically you're damned if you do and damned if you don't!

[tigerlily75]

I've tried just about every birth control to keep symptoms at bay! Right now I have this mirena thing, and my Dr says this is last option before hysterectomy. But I think it made it worse. I'm always in pain, bleed constantly, and probably isn't helping my out of whack hormones! But once she takes it out, she wants me on a lifetime of pills or hysterectomy...

[ariley13]

Are you able to take birth control, or other hormone replacement? I know that it can really help to regulate your cycle and help prevent cysts. Unfortunately I can't take anything like that because I have a history of blood clots. I also have heard that women who get cysts all the time usually have a glucose imbalance and the diabetic drug Metformin can help to regulate everything. I don't really understand how, or why, but it might be worth talking to your OBGYN about it.  

[tigerlily75]

Oh hey airley,
I didn't realize we had same issues! Well we must work together to find a way to make this pain not so unbearable together! Doesn't help that the medical field doesn't have a cure don't even know what causes it!!!  I have a pretty high tolerance to pain, but this female stuff knocks me down!