My sister and her husband are heroin addicts

[TiredSibling]

I just found out that my sister (23) and her husband (23) have been using heroin--him for at least a few years now and her for less than that but unknown.  They don't know that me, my siblings or my mother knows about the heroin.  My siblings and I have suspected that they regularly do drugs for about six months, but we never thought that it could have been heroin.  Here is the history:

My sister, whom I'll call Carol, has been relatively unstable her entire life with an addictive personality and a mile obsessive-compulsive disorder diagnosis.  In high school she developed an eating disorder, which peaked in college when she got down to 80-ish pounds, became addicted to ADD meds to stifle her appetite, and started having really erratic and abnormal behavior.  My parents pulled her out of school, sent her to rehab, and she seemed to be getting control of her eating disorder.  At rehab she became very close with her now husband, whom I'll call Brian, by talking on the phone with him practically every day (he was still in Texas, where they both were attending college; she was in Illinois, near my parents for a six-week in-patient rehab program.  

Carol and Brian grew close because they shared difficult situations.  She had the eating disorder/rehab/psychological disorders, and Brian had lost his father in a car accident that had also temporarily crippled him and permanently crippled his mother.  My family and I eventually embraced their relationship--they were both so "weird" (in personality, personal history, tastes, etc.) that they seemed to fit very well together.  She was a skilled actress and subsequent drama queen, while he was so emotionally stable that at times we suspected he had affective disorder.  

They began dating when Carol returned to Texas, and he proposed her senior year of college.  They moved to Chicago after she graduated last year (he had finished school in 3 years--brilliant guy), and he is currently in law school while she is starting a Master's/Ph.D. program this fall.  He is doing well in law school currently, and she has a great, normal day job.  Their lives seem to be in control, but their strange behavior began to concern me and my family as soon as they got to Chicago.  Their pupils are frequently very small in size, they both have had runny noses from the time they moved here last summer to present (when neither of them have allergies or exhibit any other cold symptoms), they fall asleep during conversations (and once when standing up), they will be with our family and suddenly say they have to leave after being with us for only a couple hours, they take frequent trips to the bathroom, etc etc etc.  

My siblings and I each confronted them on our suspicions on separate occasions, resulting in flat out denial and the dissolution of our relationships with them.  We decided that since they would be getting married in a few months (and the down-payment had already been paid by my parents) that we would keep the issue to ourselves.  They did not appear to be in need of immediate medical assistance and again, they both do well in school and keep good jobs, they don't disappear for lengths of time nor do they ever just not show up to dinner/family events.

They got married this past December, and all of their friends from Texas were at the wedding.  After some digging, I found out from an old roommate of theirs that Brian had a daily heroin habit before coming to Chicago.  I thought a lot about that piece of information and figured there was no way he could still be doing heroin and be doing well in law school.  I decided to just monitor their behavior more closely when I spent time with them.  Keep in mind that my entire immediate family lives in the Chicago-land area and we spend a lot of time together, so even if I wasn't close to either of them, I would see them frequently at family gatherings.  The signs that they were doing drugs persisted, but I refused to believe they were doing heroin.  

Last night, however, my mom told me and my oldest (unmarried) sister that she had been suspecting drug use recently and asked if we did too.  That's when we all laid our cards on the table and discussed what we knew  with my mother.  Apparently, Brian had offered heroin to my 19 year old brother a few months ago, and a college friend of Brian's had told my oldest (unmarried) sister that Brian and Carol had both been using heroin for a year before they moved to Chicago.  

Now we are not sure what to do.

Should we tell my dad?  Keep in mind that he is the angry type and would break up their marriage in a second.  Telling him would mean the **** would hit the proverbial fan.  

Should we tell Brian's severely reverent Southern-Baptist parents?

Should we stage an intervention, even though my parents are not willing to send Carol to rehab again?  (She has her own medical insurance anyway, and my parents would probably get dropped from their health insurance plan)

Should we give then an ultimatum: stop doing drugs or you both will not be a part of this family?

HELP!!

[stilltrying1965]

I would like to say to you dont give up hope we were heroin addicts for 13 years & now been clean for 32 days & somtimes i never thought we could get clean but with the right support it is possible but a very hard addiction to beat and yes a heroin addict can & will do almost anything to get money to feed there habit we did lied stole anything for the next fix once you are in the cluch of heroin its hard to get out you dont have to be rich a think that is complete nonsence they are addicted to one hell of a drug to come off we used £150 habit a day & am no rich i have never heard anything so stupid in my life sorry if i offend you holliee but the heroin takes over your whole life & ***** the life out of you but it can be beaten only if they wont to beat it like i said we were slaves to this drug for a long long time but now we could not be happer so it can be beaten and if they want it bad enough and have strenthg,courage,willpower,faith,then anything is possible we are living proof of that you can pm me & we are early on in our recovery but if we can help we will stilltrying& scotjoanofark there is light at the end of any dark tunnel they will feel embarresed & alone but the help,support is here at MH that is a fact........................

[Holliee]

wow that is a hard one are they using needles or snorting the herion>? Does anyone know 100 % sure that they are in fact using still. Thats a lot for someone to be going to law school and herion user herion cost a lot of money to keep up one habit let alone two ppl using. Plus all other bills do they come from rich family something is not adding up most herion addicts don't have a perfect and from what u said they seem to. maybe you should try to set down one on one and talk to your sister not like an attack be like you care....