I responded on your journal earlier today and I just wanted to say ty for being honest about using again. Most of us here messed up, myself I have relapsed so many times it's too many to count, but when your ready and willing to do the work, nothing can stop us:) For most, it means making changes to stay clean.
I only attended N/A a short time, but it got me started on the road to recovery. Meetings usually only last 2 hours or so, so there is always time. N/A is not the only option out there, but it is a great support group. I have a fulltime job, but not in winter for a few months, it's only part time. Are you thinking of going. Can you find some in your area.
Thank you very much and I also just responded on my journal. There are some NA meetings in my area but it seems to be when I am at work or the evening ones are right around dinner time or my daughters bed time. It's just me and my daughter so I can't leave her at home for someone else to feed her, bathe her and put her to bed. I wish I had that luxury. I have been to NA in the past and I never liked it but I thought I would try and give it another shot. I need to do something. I thought about going away for the weekend but even with certain family members I have to be careful of where I go cause some of them pop pills too. I wish I had enough money to go out of town for the weekend and just get a room somewhere, just me and my baby together, that would be very nice.
My biggest battle is when I am at work cause I have a friend there who gives me all the pills in the world that I want. This is why I was thinking maybe I should go to NA and that will help me find the willpower to resist the temptation while at work. But I also have 2 other friends at work who are aware of the situation and maybe I just need to go talk to them when I am craving and wanting pills. I guess that would be the same as calling someone that you meet from NA wouldn't it?
Qutting is not just about willpower, it's accepting we are powerless and making changes to get better. You have to tell your friend with the pills to back off, that is too big a trigger. Nothing changes, if nothing changes. Best of luck, you can do this!
my late son went to NA meetings and they kept him clean and he earned his 90 day pin...it was interesting during the last few months of his life that was something he and I had to share...me kicking vicodin and him kicking whatever he was on...he never told me..(I suspect heroin). and we had some great conversations and it brought us closer..sadly alcohol got him...drank too much one night and passed out and asspirated 1 year ago last month.
Yay! Admitting that is a BIG step for you. It took me till my first N/A meeting to say that and admit I was an addict, but I don't attend N/A no more. I think most of us get the power by finally being ready to quit and learning the tools to stay off the drugs, along with asking for help. Like i said, it takes changes for most of us to succeed. I was a hopeless case, the thought of having to live without dope scared the hell out of me, it didn't seem possible, but if you work at this, you will see:) Now I think how did I ever live like I did on drugs, thoughts change in recovery and we heal. Congrats on going back to N/A, it's worth another shot and your taking a step in the right direction.
How do I learn the tools to get and stay clean? Research online? My sister just called me to say that her husband is still not home and she is supposed to come babysit for me so I can go tonight and I am supposed to leave in 15 min. My friend that I work with who has all the pills called just after my sister asking me to go shopping with her but I turned her down cause that is too much of a temptation for me. I have to deal with it at work but not on my personal time.
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