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NO WILL POWER
Im soo friggin weak.  I called around like a junkie looking for anything.  I got a hold of soem old bum that i used to deal with that had some 7.5 vicodin for $2.5 each.  I usually get a way better deal but considering my sick situation I jumped all over it.  Sorry to whoever might have had some hope but this is the brutal reality of my bullsh!t!  I am just thankfull I have you guys! Thanks, ans Sorry again
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Avatar universal
Hey
so your kinda startin all over huh?  Been there.  Your probally high right now, feeling good?  Youll feel like **** when your out again, startin all over...I'm sorry, I wish you never would have found that bum with the bad deal.  What is it your looking for...Why do you take pills, what are you avoiding, whats your issue, try to think about that k...Try not to dwell on your mistake, its done.  Try to think about the exact moment you decided to get pills, explore the way you felt then, what thought made it OK.  What will you do next time you have that exact same feeling, cause you will have it again.  I really dont know what to say.  If you ever want to talk I'll talk back.....I know what its like, I could pick up the phone right now and get some, but I wont, cause .................  real life is better, or least it can be if I work on it.
Bye for now
what_the_huh
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You are right. I can't argue those points.  What goes through my mind is that I dont want to spend x-mas being sick as hell and feeling like death.  Amoung many others.  I know it is just this times exuse, but for some reason I make it ok in my head.  Its like my fiancee says"when you can get these pills it is THE ONLY THING THAT MATTERS" and she is right.  I am selfish. I am an addict.  Underneath I know I am a good man though. I never had hit her. I am always there for her with EVERYTHING ELSE. Except this!  It is SO DAMN HARD!  I hope I can find the strength to beat this.  

By the way yeah I am high from them right now, and it isnt as great as i thought it would be, but it is 1000% better than being dog *** sick like i felt all damn day!
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352798 tn?1399301754
Towards the end, I didn't feel so good on them either. It didn't matter how many I took....the thrill was gone...
     I hope you do the soul searching needed. It takes a deep decision to quit. A decision so solid that you can't imagine yourself taking them again, ever. A resolve to make it this time. Knowing that your life is being robbed by this drug. That you are missing out on life's little treasures. Keep on trying, you will succeed
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