NOT SURE IF MARRIAGE WILL LAST!

[LADYDI4185]

HOW DO YOU STAY IN A MARRIAGE WHERE YOUR HUSBAND FEELS HE IS BEING SUPPORTIVE BUT REALLY COULD CARE LESS.  HIS THEORY-JUST QUIT!  I HAVE BEEN WEENING OFF LORTABS NOW SINCE WED. AND AM DOWN FROM 8 TO 4 PER DAY.  TODAY IT WILL BE THREE AND SO ON.  MY HUSBAND IS OF NO HELP.  WELL LET ME RE PHRASE THAT HE WILL LISTEN WITH A BLANK LOOK ON HIS FACE AND RESPOND JUST QUIT.  I WANT TO SMACK HIM IN THE FACE BUT I UNDERSTAND HE HAS NO IDEA WHAT I AM EXPERIENCING AND I FEEL GUILTY FOR BEING SO ANGER AT HIM.  PART OF MY WANTS TO TAKE THE PILSS AGAIN AND THEN I COULD RATIONALIZE IT WAS HIS FAULT.  I AM SOOO PISSED AT HIM RIGHT NOW!!  I KNOW IT HAS ONLY BEEN 3 DAY, 3 DAYS OF TAPERING BUT G-D IT IS HARD, ITS ALL I THINK ABOUT 24 HOURS A DAY. PLEASE TELL ME IT GETS EASIER? AND WHEN?  HOW DO I EXPLAIN TO MY HUSBAND I NEED MORE FROM HIM?  AM I JUST BEING SELFISH AS I DID CREAT THIS LOVELY HABIT ON MY OWN!!

[broknbck]

hmmm, that is a hard one. anyone who has never been addicted really just doesn't understand. now that i have quit, i have a whole new perspective on addicts.
all they want is to just feel better.
it is different for everyone on the best way to quit. only we know what will work for us.
when it comes down to it. it is just you and the pills. and no one can do it for us. it will be a battle that we have to win ourselves to stay the conqueror forever.
maybe you will have to take some time out all by yourself?
sounds a little drastic huh. but seriously, it is by far the hardest thing that i have ever had to do.  and "whatever it takes"
it has made all the difference in my life. i actually have a life now- that is mine. don't have to share it with the drugs controlling it.

[sdleo]

No you are not bing selfish. You really do need his support since this is probably one of the hardest things you will have to go through in life. You gotta find a way to get him on board to support you or when you finally ween all the way you will be more prone to relapse. Maybe you can go see an addiction specialist and have them explain the importance to your hubby. I had to do that and it worked for me.

[jillian6]

I also have the same problem with my husband.  I truly think he doesn't really care either.  I've had to learn that people that aren't addicts just assume it's easy to quit.  My sister used to really give me a hard time too.  

Use these boards and try to find people who "get addiction" issues so you have some support.  Sometimes I can't stand my husband either but then I have to step back and look at it from his side - he stayed with me through a lot.  I've spent a lot of money on pills and he stayed with me through that.  To give him the benefit of not understanding, I try to be grateful he didn't walk out and leave me with 7 kids.  I don't know if I'd have stayed with him.  I've been in detox twice, had the police take me away once and numerous times in the hospital and b/c I'm a stay at home mom, he had to pay for everything and take care of the kids when I couldn't.  I'd love to blame him for my addiction because he isn't emotionally there for me but I am the one who lied.  I'm the one who swallowed the pills and spent our money.  I think as addicts we can rationalize anything for just "one more high".  For me, today, that chasing that high isn't worth it.  My kids have suffered enough because of me.

[curler4life]

Don't be too hard on your husband, unless you have been there like we have they have no Idea... He cannot understand, but your anger is not with him its with yourself, you have become powerless over yourself because of opiates (the devil). Now you must get your life back, you can do this, easy? No  Possible, Yes!   Remember you want your life back!  I'm 13 months clean off a 5 year terrible norco habit ( 20 a day).. Its worth it!! Get your life back! Lean on the people on this site, it saved my life. Remember you want your Life Back!  We're here for you...

[122 Tactical Fighter Group]

Well .... I am lousy at tapering so I had to just do what he is saying and quit cold turkey.  I found that I also had anger and guilt issues from using the pills...  stringing out unpleasant situations..  At least you do realize that further use is rationalizing a bad habit...  It may not get any easier until you actually get to zero ...  but it will get better if you stay strong and keep it up .... no really good alternative ... you will ultimately need to face the reality at some point in time.....  and good luck to you...  it is worth it to do ....