Aa
Need help, please
To: Tim2H, hopeless, fishmeal, tnbrowneyes, marcatj
Thank you all so much for your responses. I know that my situation is a little more complicated, and that I will have to live with this pain the rest of my life. My first and second surgery were within a month of each other. The first one went well, but I had gotten pretty sick and ended up in the emergency room where they did a spinal tap thinking I had menigitis. Ended up being very bad case of strep throat. So, I was in the hospital a couple days and went home. Still sick, and did nothing but get worse. The spinal tap they did on me for some reason didn't heal the hole up from the needle put in my spine. I got deathly sick. I have never felt so much excruciating pain. The spinal fluid was draining out of my spine and pooling up around the L4 and L5 area. Which if I tried to stand up I couldn't because all the spinal fluid leaked out causing my brain to rub against my skull causing such horrible pain I can't even describe what it was like.
I am just trying to explain what happened to me so that ya'll might be able to understand why I am at the place I am today. Also, why nothing else can be done such as chiropractor, epidural, physical therapy ect... There is nothing else that can be done to help. To much scare tissue and nerve damage. I am not trying to make anyone feel sorry for me, so please don't take it that way. This is just the hand I was dealt for my life. I am very blessed that I can walk and not in a wheelchair.
After the spinal fluid leaked out it caused another disc to rupture. Another emergency surgery not 30 days apart. The doctor had to go in the same incision as the first time which caused extensive scar tissue. And with being so sick it just had me wore down. The first surgery would have probably helped had that not happened so close together. It was a very long and painful recovery. By the grace of God I got better and went back to work.
I ended up re-injuring my back and so it goes with the pills. I did ok up until I got hurt again. Thats when the heavy duty pain killers came to be.
When I ended up having the 3rd surgery I had a 50-50 chance of being paralyzed. That was in 9/5/2002. The operation went great. It took me 3 years to get to my maxium recovery.
But the pain is still there. Some days are worse than others and it is just hard to be in pain all the time, with every step you take, just even trying to clean the bathtub.
I just don't want to end up making excuses, lying to myself, falling back in the same old habit just because it's easier to take a pill or two than to try to deal with the reality of my situation.
Your ideas on how to deal with this has really helped me, and I am not going to feel guilty because I am in pain. It is something I will have to learn to control, or I end up back where I was. I do not want that kind of life. Thank you all so much for your kind words and encouragement. Ya'll are the greatest. And to everyone who is fighting this battle, hold your ground. Keep sight of whats important and believe in yourselves.
Thanks for listening everybody. I don't feel so alone anymore. My prayers are with you all.
Nannyj507
Thank you all so much for your responses. I know that my situation is a little more complicated, and that I will have to live with this pain the rest of my life. My first and second surgery were within a month of each other. The first one went well, but I had gotten pretty sick and ended up in the emergency room where they did a spinal tap thinking I had menigitis. Ended up being very bad case of strep throat. So, I was in the hospital a couple days and went home. Still sick, and did nothing but get worse. The spinal tap they did on me for some reason didn't heal the hole up from the needle put in my spine. I got deathly sick. I have never felt so much excruciating pain. The spinal fluid was draining out of my spine and pooling up around the L4 and L5 area. Which if I tried to stand up I couldn't because all the spinal fluid leaked out causing my brain to rub against my skull causing such horrible pain I can't even describe what it was like.
I am just trying to explain what happened to me so that ya'll might be able to understand why I am at the place I am today. Also, why nothing else can be done such as chiropractor, epidural, physical therapy ect... There is nothing else that can be done to help. To much scare tissue and nerve damage. I am not trying to make anyone feel sorry for me, so please don't take it that way. This is just the hand I was dealt for my life. I am very blessed that I can walk and not in a wheelchair.
After the spinal fluid leaked out it caused another disc to rupture. Another emergency surgery not 30 days apart. The doctor had to go in the same incision as the first time which caused extensive scar tissue. And with being so sick it just had me wore down. The first surgery would have probably helped had that not happened so close together. It was a very long and painful recovery. By the grace of God I got better and went back to work.
I ended up re-injuring my back and so it goes with the pills. I did ok up until I got hurt again. Thats when the heavy duty pain killers came to be.
When I ended up having the 3rd surgery I had a 50-50 chance of being paralyzed. That was in 9/5/2002. The operation went great. It took me 3 years to get to my maxium recovery.
But the pain is still there. Some days are worse than others and it is just hard to be in pain all the time, with every step you take, just even trying to clean the bathtub.
I just don't want to end up making excuses, lying to myself, falling back in the same old habit just because it's easier to take a pill or two than to try to deal with the reality of my situation.
Your ideas on how to deal with this has really helped me, and I am not going to feel guilty because I am in pain. It is something I will have to learn to control, or I end up back where I was. I do not want that kind of life. Thank you all so much for your kind words and encouragement. Ya'll are the greatest. And to everyone who is fighting this battle, hold your ground. Keep sight of whats important and believe in yourselves.
Thanks for listening everybody. I don't feel so alone anymore. My prayers are with you all.
Nannyj507
You are very welcome Nanny... I am so sorry for all you had to go through and still are... Stay strong, as we all must try to do. They say anything is possible, so stick to your guns girl...It's a long tough battle, but those who have done it all say a battle worth fighting for.
Hugz, Hopeless
Hugz, Hopeless
Drug addiction is the hardest thing I have ever had to deal with...ever....in my life. I am so sorry that you have had to go through so much physically. I am not sure of the others suggestions but I am sure they were good ones. You are in my thoughts and prayers.
Shelby
Shelby
Anytime I can offer some kind works or help i any way, please give me a holler. You have been through an awful lot and seem like a strong minded lady. Please know that I care about your pain and hope it lessens for you. Bless your heart and take care.
Tim
Tim
Thanks ya'll. Hopeless I just sent a post to you. Hang tough. I know we can accomplish and overcoming this addiction.
Shelby, Hi, How are you doing? I think you are one day behind me, you are on day 17 and I am on day 18 (other than what I took I posted about). This is a major milestone.
Remember, hour to hour, day to day, week to week, One day at a time!!!!
Stay strong my friends, thanks for all your help. It feels great to not feel so alone.
Nannyj507
Shelby, Hi, How are you doing? I think you are one day behind me, you are on day 17 and I am on day 18 (other than what I took I posted about). This is a major milestone.
Remember, hour to hour, day to day, week to week, One day at a time!!!!
Stay strong my friends, thanks for all your help. It feels great to not feel so alone.
Nannyj507
You brought tears to my eyes. For so long you feel like no one understands, or cares and you feel so alone. your kind words have given me more hope. I thank you for that. Same goes for you and everyone else here. Just hollar, I'll be here. And when I am offline, I will think about ya'll and keep praying until I am here again!!!
Stay Strong,
Nannyj507
Stay Strong,
Nannyj507
I am actually on day 14 - my two week anniversary! Watch it though I am right on your tail! :)
It is people like you that have gotten me this far. That and a lot of determination. Well more you guys then anything. I doubt very highly I would have gotten this far.
You are all a blessing to me!
Shelby
It is people like you that have gotten me this far. That and a lot of determination. Well more you guys then anything. I doubt very highly I would have gotten this far.
You are all a blessing to me!
Shelby
Girlfriend, you had to want it bad enough for yourself and your determination to keep on going. It just helps so much and make its easier when you have people who understand what you are going through. Someone who hasn't been where we have just don't get it. Especially family members, husband, wife, kids, you know what I mean. I talked more to my dog, cat, and raccoons then I did to my family. (They are wild raccoons, but they have come to trust me enough to eat coonie cookies which are really vanilla wafers out of my hands). It just amazes me how much support everybody gives you, and how concerned and caring everyone is. I know the Lord sent me here to this forum. If I had not found this beautiful place, I just don't know. God works in mysterious ways. I feel like I belong somewhere now. Do you feel like that too? Stay strong!!!
Nannyj507
Nannyj507
nanny,
My goodness you are all so wise and understanding. My animals, and well everyone on this board now are the only one's who know my deepest "self". It has been great to be able to communicate with people who KNOW. And as much as I talked to my animals - they can't exactly talk back. Well my cat Frasier tries but I cannot make out a word he is saying! lol
Love and hug,
Shelby
My goodness you are all so wise and understanding. My animals, and well everyone on this board now are the only one's who know my deepest "self". It has been great to be able to communicate with people who KNOW. And as much as I talked to my animals - they can't exactly talk back. Well my cat Frasier tries but I cannot make out a word he is saying! lol
Love and hug,
Shelby
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