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Need help

Need help

by MattvArnish, 6 hours ago
My son is shooting drugs my wife and I can not take this any more we tried to help but he wants no help for his problem we cant live like this it is killing us he has no place to go and we can't have this in our home kinda trapped any help would be nice  thanks
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1667237 tn?1464300631
       I`m glad he went to rehab. And i hope he does it for himself, because if he is not, it will end up as every time before...

       And feel free to keep us updated... how he is doing and stuff. And if you need any help again, we are here.
       And if he needed some support or had some problem or crisis, he could post here also. There are lot of ppl in different stages of recovery with good advices...

       Best of luck...

Helpful - 0
1235186 tn?1656987798
thank you LORD. matt that is wonderful news. the LORD does hear and answer our prayers. "he did all the leg work this time" ------- that is great. good he is admitting he needs and help and is asking for it. maybe he is getting tired of his life. that is good, they need to be broken before they realize and then ask for help. how long is the program?
well you can have a little rest and peace, now because you know where his is. please let me know how he is doing? i will continue to bring your family before the LORD and pray that the chains of bondage be broken. and there is always hope as long as he has breathe there is hope. cling to that hope and have faith.
blessings to you
debbie
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Avatar universal
Wow all of what you people are saying it is our life it's like it was pulled from my own head. I could not have said it any better . I some how managed to get him into rehab again yesterday he did all the leg work this time so there might be some hope this time. I just want to thank you all for your advice and kind words and just ask that you pray for my family and I will pray for you's as well again thank you all.
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1667237 tn?1464300631
also this is British research... by independent experts. Colors are drug classification by law(A is the hardest), and the length shows objective harm...

http://www.freewebs.com/medcanaware/_41949092_drugs_graph_416.gif
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1667237 tn?1464300631
weed causes addiction, but less then cigarets...

http://www.google.hr/imgres?imgurl=http://triangulations.files.wordpress.com/2011/05/drug-harm.gif%3Fw%3D500%26h%3D431&imgrefurl=http://triangulations.wordpress.com/&usg=__aLhn20nm4s95rPM2pNRtbb_gPl0=&h=431&w=500&sz=32&hl=hr&start=17&sig2=hsu2OdgXHFcP_aXwJuG6WA&zoom=1&tbnid=kEkN4jtesJ0XaM:&tbnh=152&tbnw=176&ei=WJ7aTdjCK4Sk-gakvZSfDw&prev=/search%3Fq%3Ddrug%2Bdiagram%2Bharm%26um%3D1%26hl%3Dhr%26client%3Dfirefox-a%26hs%3D1pu%26rls%3Dorg.mozilla:en-US:official%26channel%3Ds%26biw%3D1280%26bih%3D645%26tbm%3Disch0%2C733&um=1&itbs=1&iact=hc&vpx=463&vpy=71&dur=4176&hovh=208&hovw=242&tx=154&ty=99&sqi=2&page=2&ndsp=19&ved=1t:429,r:8,s:17&biw=1280&bih=645

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1235186 tn?1656987798
it does become a revolving door. the cycle of addiction. my son was doing coke and pills when i put him into rehab. he also had court issues and the court agreed to send him there. when he came it did ok for awhile then he started to smoke pot again. there is always a big debate if pot is addicting or not. well he smoked 24/7, had no motivation, quit high school, didnt work, got extremely paranoid.lots of anger issues, depression.they diagnosed him  with bipolar.  i let him stay in the house saying he is now only smoking pot better than coke or pills. well this continued to the next 5 yrs. so i eventually had to tell him to leave. it took the cops to get him out. he did get himself together. so it has been 7 yrs. he is clean from coke and pills and 2 yrs. from weed. he has a good job now never went to college but got his ged and is in a sales position. he doesnt take anything for the bipolar not sure of that diagnose. my husband also was an addict, i believe much of my sons issues stemed from my husbands yrs of use. he used for 14 yrs. the last 5 were horrible my 4 children and i lived through hell. i tried to make him leave a few times, he never would. when he got sick and tired of his addiction he did leave. we were separated for one year. he finally went into a christian drug and alcohol program. he stayed there for 3 months. he has now been clean for 15 months. when your son got out of the rehabs. did he continue with any aftercare? that is the most important thing to prevent relapse. they will always be an adddict, either an active one or one in recovery. does your son want to quit or do you want him to quit? he has to want it or there is nothing you can do for him, except tough love. dont give him any money, require him to get and keep a job, tell him he has to go to counseling, na/aa, church, therapists, in order to stay in your house. does he have any court issues now? if so go to the court and ask them to mandate him to a program, sometimes it takes many stints to rehab and many relapses before the are a recovering addict. does he steal from you? my son and husband stole money, jewelry, it is very exhausting i know the lies, deceit worry, all this why you continue to love and support them. please check into a chrisitian rehab. the success rate is much higher than a secular program. they usually are a 9 month to 1 yr. stay. check into teen challenge. please continue to post so we can encourage you and let you know that there is hope, have faith,
i know it seems impossible now, but with GOD all things are possible.
blessings to you,
debbie
Helpful - 0
1667237 tn?1464300631
      What drug does he use?
      If he doesn`t admit he has a problem, i guess you cannot do much. if he doesn`t believe he has a problem, ask him to search sings of addiction e.g. on internet or visit this page and read experiences and inside fights of addicts. He might relate to someone and come to conclusion he has a problem. That might prompt him to question himself. Maybe he˙ll deny the problem, and don`t pressure him too much to admit, because if he reads this, he`ll know deep inside he has a problem, and that fact might disturbed him and after few months he could admit...
        If he doesn`t earn salary and has no income, tell him that he is under your roof and if he wants to be there, he has to respect your rules, but prepare he might lie to you, or he could leave.
          Explain him calmly why is so hard for you to watch him that way, because he maybe doesn`t see his behavior from your perspective. Ask him if he has a particular reason (like:he can accept reality) or he just started to do drugs because of his friends.
          He could reject talking to you. It might be too painful for him because he cares about you(even if it doesn`t seem that way), or he is not ready to admit his problems.
          If he doesn`t realize he has a problem, and do the rehab just to make you think he is getting better, he˙`ll probably start to do drugs again as soon as he go out from the clinic. As you said: "he was in and out the of rehab". He probably wanted to quit, but that is not enough. It demands a lot of work on his way of thinking, living, and spending his free time.
         e.g, my aunt was an alcoholic, and my father was trying to change her more then 30 years. it was a waste of time. He didn`t succeed because she wasn`t ready to stop.
        It is hard, but if he is not ready, you should give up from him and hope he`ll realize what he`s doing before it`s too late. He might even want to stop, but he has to have a strength and will power and you as a support.
         If he choose to go away, tell him you love him, and you are ALWAYS here if he change his mind and needs help. But you just can`t watch him destroy that  way.
         I`m really sorry, but if he will stop mostly depends on him.
         On the other hand, if he wants to ruin himself, it is his life and he has a right to  do so. Life would have been be a prison if we had not had a right to choose. If he doesn`t want to change, accept his addiction or leave him on his own. That`s your right. And if you don`t do any of that, not only his life is gonna be a misery, then yours also. It might sound cruel, but that`s the way it is... and i`m sorry...
         Wish you well... And stay strong.
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Avatar universal
Thanks for the kind words. My son is 20 years old and has been in and out of rehab for about five years now. He has lost everything a teenager can lose been in and out of court lost his rights to drive. We try so hard to help him get his life in order. He does good for a while then he is off and running again it seems worse every time. I know the right thing to so is send him packing I just can't find it in my heart to so that to someone I love so much.  I really was hoping there is some way to commit a 20 year old to rehab I can't he isn't a minor anymore. Mom and dad find it hard to send him to the street  thanks again for getting back to us.
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1235186 tn?1656987798
hello and welcome. i am so sorry you are going through this. watching a child destroy themselves with drugs is very heartbreaking. i understand as i went through this. how old is your son and how long has he been using? i know you love your son that is why you are here asking for help. does he admit to his drug addiction? that would be the first step toward his recovery.  have you tried to get him into counseling? i know you say he has no where to go., but as you continue to enable him, he will have a warm place to sleep and food to eat. sometimes they need to hit bottom before they acknowledge their addiction or ask for help. i sent my son to a inpatient rehab. when he was 17. he went kicking and screaming and said he hated me and never wanted to see me again. he is now 25 and has been clean for 7 years. he thanks me for saving his life. he tells me because of my prayers, the LORD and  me sending him away that he is still alive or not in jail. he has had quite a few friends die and some that are also in jail. i know that the addiction is very hard on you and your family. i also have younger children and they experienced so many things because of my sons addiction. please continue to come here for support there are alot of parents on here to answer your questions. i will pray for you to be strong in your decisions.
please try to talk to him and ask him if he will seek counsel or go into a rehab. if not you might not have any chose except to send him packing. i know it will be a very hard decision. if he has no where to go. then give him the choice of a rehab or the street.
hugs, my heart goes out to you,
debbie
blessin
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