Need help

[LadyHawk4]

I was supposed to stop taking Vicodin today. I failed. I've been using for about 20 years.i am a very heavy user. I'm a high functioning addict.  I take 12-14 10/325s a day. (At once) the pills don't sedate me but rather make me feel superhuman. I cook and clean, run errands. If I don't have them I'm worthless. I don't know how to stop. I'm scared of withdrawals. I dint know how to change 20 years of being deceitful and sneaking around. How can a pull be air and water to me when I have a family willing to start over with me? I'm in the verge of losing my husband and boys. I spend all my hard working husbands money on pills. The only reason they are still with me is because somehow I managed to be a good mom and wife despite my addiction. I want to stop. I tried rehab but came home after one night. People were screaming and guys were sneaking into my room to have sex with my roommate. I felt so unsafe there.

[krisnile]

Hi I'm new here also! Me I'm still taking my oxy for now but I think the same way u do..its my air and water, that's how I feel too. I've been though 3 years of cancer now doctor is cutting me back each time I go!!! I'm scard of not having any when I wake up..that's the last thing on my mine when I go to sleep and the first thing on my mine in morning... Maybe we can help each other!!!

[littlebit667]

Honey, I feel for you and hope you get the help you need here.  I am sure you will..give the others time to chime in.  At the amount you are taking it is possible rehab is the safer option.  Have looked for other possible sites to check out?  

It is possible you can start by tapering slowly?  It will not stop the withdrawals, but it makes them more manageable.  Please keep checking back.  I am over 800 days free and it took 3 times for me to get it and get clean.  I am 62 and at my age...I was afraid...but was able to finally get there.  There are some non addictive meds that a doctor can prescribe that can help.  

Look up the Thomas Recipe here:  

http://www.medhelp.org/health_pages/Addiction/Thomas-Recipe-Re-Posted/show/16?cid=66

for OTC help while you are detoxing.  Starting them early before you begin the process is helpful as well.  

I hope you find your way to sobriety.  I am very glad you found this forum.  It is active and thriving with help and support.

[nonights]

You are at the right place if you want to stop. I was taking 7/8  hydro a day for 18 years and I now have 112 days   clean.  I am the happiest I have ever been in my life. This is doable. Granted it's not easy but so worth it. If you dont mind telling me are you taking anything else? Any antidepressants or anything? Were you getting narco from dr or other means? Hang on with us. Its pretty slow in am but im sure youll get more relpies.