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Need to stop:(

I am sorry for letting you all down, but most of all I let myself down. I relapsed last night and haven['t stopped yet. I am going to try to tonight. This is so hard posting and I am so disgusted in myself, but I made the choice to use, I felt it coming. I am so sick now and surrender. Please forgive me please.
36 Responses
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498385 tn?1362449404
j34
Just for today
Helpful - 0
1432897 tn?1322959537
Hey there Gizzy,

You don't have to apologize we're here pulling for you.  My sponsor told me not worry about relapse.  He says it is all part of recovery.  Glad to see you are back with us.  When I relapsed I got a lot out of it.  I saw where I fell short and learned from my mistakes.  In order to stop the insanity we need to do something different.  What will you do different this time?  God Bless!!
Helpful - 0
452063 tn?1324074916
Hey Giz, Sorry you relapsed. I'm glad to see your picking yourself back up. I have to agree with the aftercare plan. I would not have made it this far without it...as much as I hated admitting that to myself. Just wanted you to know that I have been sending good thoughts and prayers. Love, Corey
Helpful - 0
1479019 tn?1289420679
Congratulations on day 1! Even if you don't feel like it. I've gotten alot from your posts and they have always put things in perspective to me. I've relapsed too many times to count. Right now I have so many people counting on me to stay clean. It has been that way for a year. My children have suffered while I relapsed again and again. I lost faith in my ability to stop. Even when I was on day 20 I didn't think I could do this. But after everything I have learned on this forum, I know today I can do it. I'm even getting faith from your relapse, (not that I'm happy it happened) it showed me that its not the end of the world and you can do it. I know I have to reach out now and I know I better get a support system for when I go home. So you are so brave to be reaching out honestly. You can do it! I'm so rooting for you.
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
First of all you didn't let me down, just made me realize no matter how many clean days we have under our belts so to speak...........we are all human.

Hang in there Gizzy we are right here for you and with you.

I am craving so bad it's unreal.

Cissy
Helpful - 0
711224 tn?1344771687
Hey there Gizz

Sorry to hear you relapsed... Time for some serious aftercare don't ya think...
As sara said, time for you to make some changes in your life and get rid of the enablers and triggers...
One day at a a time, you know the drill.
Sending you Love and prayers.
Sophie.
Helpful - 0
1479078 tn?1329363783
Gizzy... I am praying for you, as I know your pain and your struggle. Thing is you did something right you stopped and came here. I am glad you didnt let the addict in you take you out any further. I wish you some peace and comfort at this very vunerable period. Hang tough, and try to get into some form of aftercare.

                                                   Kim
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
I hope if you are not involved, you get involved with NA and work the steps
Helpful - 0
1047946 tn?1332608029
Just hang in there buddy. You know what you need to do so get it done. Don't apologize to us. We have all been there before. Like mentioned above, you know your triggers and have to find a way to avoid them or to work through them. If a trigger is unavoidable you have to figure out what you can do to try to ease the craving such as going for a jog, lay in a dark room listening to some music while doing breathing exercises, go to the driving range and take it out on the balls, go to a meeting, anything that you can think of to get your mind in another place. You have it in you Giz. You have already proved that.
Please know that we will be here for you no matter what. We are one big family here that will never turn our backs on each other. I know it's hard to admit a relapse to everyone but that is the first step to get back on track. It proves that you want to work through this and we will be here for you every step of the way.
You mean so much to this forum. You have helped so many people. Use the all of the knowledge that you have to help yourself get through this. Dig deep and pull out that inner strength that you have. It's in there. You know it and so do we. Chalk it up as a lesson learned and move forward. You can't dwell on the past, just learn from it and fix what can be fixed.
You can do this buddy. If you need anything at all, even if you just need to vent, give me a call. You know I'm here for ya no matter what.
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Hang in there Gizzy! I have relapsed more times than i can count. It's a real drag. You are strong and you know what needs to be done. I have all the faith in the world that you can beat this! K
Helpful - 0
1456870 tn?1304129806
I know the relapse is horrible to face.  But you are strong and I hope you see that. You have admitted you fell.  You admitted that a mistake was made.  Most importantly you were honest to yourself an are not afraid to start over.  Good work.  You are an inspiration..
Helpful - 0
1435456 tn?1314674659
Praying for you gizzy.
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Tram and Sara will kick you butt lol!
Helpful - 0
1331115 tn?1536362140
Thats the gizzy I know I will pray for you.....
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
CONGRATS on day 1!  That is a great start.  Proud of your honesty and willingness to keep fighting....especially when it seems easier to stay messed up and give in!

Love and hugs to you sweetie.....You have to FIGHT now and put an end to this crap, ok?  Don't make me come whip your butt.  It would really embarrass you to get your a$$ kicked by a girl now wouldn't it???
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Thank you to everyone that has reached out and helped pick me back up, you all mean so much to me. Today is day 1 and although it's painful, I will continue on with this fight. It's a new day and the first day of the rest of my life:)
Helpful - 0
1331115 tn?1536362140
Hey brother how are you today, better I hope. Well come on back and let us know how you are as we are all concerned. I remember when I first came to this forum scared and didn't know what to do. You helped me through this journey with your words and compassion you are truly a great person. Well now I am 121 days clean because of your help and I thank you. So pull yourself up and start all over again and you know you can make it.---quitin
Helpful - 0
1455248 tn?1289055373
You are only human we all make fall sometimes, but you have to say f*** this and pick yourself back. I'm day 5 of recovery since 2006. God Bless you!!!
Helpful - 0
1436228 tn?1328053960
i know you can do it.  you have been such a support to me. this place is so forgving and so supportive.  even during you hard days you are still helping us all.  we are all here for you.
wendy
Helpful - 0
617347 tn?1331293081
Do what you need to do , my friend, save your life at all costs.
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Hey Gizzy I'm glad you posted and I'm also grateful you will be laying your head on a pillow.. Ya know I back what sara says. You know what your triggers are so you are going to have to make the changes our this will continue.. You are worth so much more then what you are doing to yourself. Your a great guy with a big heart find room in it for your welfare ok.. warm hugs lesa
Helpful - 0
498385 tn?1362449404
j34
Am happy that you are safe and have another day alive that is all we all have is just one day ,living in the moment helps me ,i know that if i focus to much in the past or the future i miss the beauty of the day clean also what helped me was to write about my relapse and then when i went to get loaded thinking i would only have one i had the letter that told me the real truth about addiction and where i really takes me , am here for you and liek i said thank god you are alive to give it another go...blessings j34
Helpful - 0
417564 tn?1287982827
I have not been posting as much lately because I also feel shame and disappointment... Thank you for giving me the courage to actually say that...I am beating myself up and am feeling so depressed...I know everything I need to do and I am familiar (unfortunately) with detoxing so I feel that I can help some people with my insights and suggestions on what could make them more comfortable and help to get through their detox a little bit easier....but I feel like a fake (even though I have not claimed to have any clean time that I do not have) and a hypocrite...something that I am not.  
Addiction is such a difficult thing ... you are among friends here, friends who can completely understand your feelings - and your actions.  You are an essential part of this forum and I look forward to talking with you soon.
Tomorrow is a new day Giz and we can do this....Keep your head up friend (and we will too) -  and please forgive yourself....and move forward in the right direction....I will also try to take my own advice.
Peace and Love
Helpful - 0
1122748 tn?1306239764
praying for ya..

no need to ask for forgiveness from us..

Helpful - 0
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