Needing Support About Meetings

[guitrldy]

Hi MH Family
It has been quite a while since I was here.
I had relapsed and am sober 7 days now
    from vicodin.
But I tried going back to a woman's meeting
  today and have a horrible problem
  connecting with people.
One woman I had let down had to basically
  tell me not to call her - call anyone else.
I am trying to accept my fault in this, but I
   was petrified going to this meeting and am
   now scared to go back.
If anyone has any words to help me, I
   appreciate it.  Thanks so much

[Ejm7263]

Hang in there. We're doing this. Let go & Let GOD!

[guitrldy]

thanks so much....I see I need to remember the Serenity prayer as I go
through the slights I feel.
And every encounter does offer a lesson.
Best regards to you and thanks for your words.

[Ejm7263]

Glad your back. I'm on day 9 off methadone. I go to meetings every day so I'm going to share with you something my first sponsor told me in 1996, relapsed a few times:)' you can get something from everyone. How you want to act or how you don't. It might be tough love & she might be holding on by a thread. Just always to keep calling, keep going, reading, posting...
Any lengths...
So glad your back. GOD bless you.

[guitrldy]

Thanks for your encouragement.
With your words, I picked up the phone
     and briefly talked to someone else
     from today's meeting.
I really do need your support -
I thank you all for being there and
    helping me.

[VICourageous]

I agree..I go to so many different meetings. I go to NA/AA. I go to the Church ones now for celebrate Recovery. I now am going to Grieving groups. I reach out every where and any where I can when I am feeling the darkness around me. Call and talk to someone clean..Hit every one you can until you find a place you like..This is for YOU..You can take what you want and leave the rest behind.
If I had listen to what some of them had said at times I would be a mess..Each and everyone has there own personal Recovery and the way they do it..NO ONE should tell you how to work yours..Just go listen and talk and also keep reading them books. Keep reaching out in all areas that you feel you need..Never Give UP!!
Bless

[clean_in_ks]

Yesterday was yesterday....there need be no shame in not accepting the help that was offered in the past.  You are in a different place NOW.  You are making a new start and have this opportunity to do things differently.  THIS time...TODAY.  Yesterday is gone....and tomorrow isn't here yet.

I disagree with what you said:
"sometimes I feel like that person they talk about in
   the BB who just can't be help refers to me."

What it says in the BB is:  
"Rarely have we seen a person fail who has thoroughly followed our path.  Those who do not recover are people who cannot or will not completely give themselves to this simple program, usually men and women who are constitutionally incapable of being honest with themselves."

I don't think this is YOU......you are being honest...you are reaching out and willing to ask for help and suggestions.  You know you have to quit isolating and you are willing to try different meetings.  This is GOOD....and the right sponsor will come along.  You are willing to go to meetings....and it's ok to just listen for awhile.  Then we find that the more we give of ourselves by sharing....the more help we receive.
Keep on keepin on girl~  

[ang_811]

Be careful self diagnosing yourself. I self diagnosed myself as a chronic relapser and from that I had no confidence in myself nor did I think I had a shot at long term sobriety. I learned that was my disease talking to me to keep me out there. This disease and cunning baffling and powerful and comes to us in all shapes and sizes.  Maybe start telling yourself you can do it and you will do it just for today. After all we do have a thinking problem. We must change the way we think about everything.

[IBKleen]

I agree, go back to the meeting for YOU. this is about you and you need to fight for your recovery. Here is a link to find meetings in your area. Maybe the woman's meeting is not for you but don't give up:

http://www.na.org/meetingsearch/

[guitrldy]

yes - thank you.
I know what you are saying is true.
The shame from not being able to accept help, when it was offered,
     and feeling excluded now, is very hard to bear.
I already have had horrible problems feeling included,
   and sometimes I feel like that person they talk about in
   the BB who just can't be help refers to me.
I know I have to keep trying and appreciate your responding, and
     realize people need me to earn their trust.
sigh:  this is very hard

[ang_811]

Shes just giving ya tough love and hoping u will look at your part in it and grow from it.. Go back to the meeting with your head held high. Don't allow your ego to get the best of ya here. Remember our actions speak louder than words. When I came back to the rooms after my last relapse I felt the same emotions ur feeling. People were just wanting to see if I was serious this time. It took time for me to gain their trust as I burnt a lot of bridges.

We r always scarred of the unkown. Don't let your fear keep you from taking care of you and doing whats best for you. You got this.