New, here is my story, please offer advice without criticizing.

I'm an alcoholic which I have under control.  I'm also in incredible pain every day due to nerve damage to my back.  There is no quick fix, no surgery, I just need to live with it.

I was taking oxycontin........  I stopped and started 8mg x 4 of subutex per day and it made me violently ill and didn't do jack for my pain.

I went back to my psychiatrist/neuroligist (he has dual degrees) and specializes in addiction.

- we discussed methadone and BIG RED FLAG went up in my head, the stigma attached, I didn't even want to attempt it.

- he decided to see if I could get by on 3 percosets a day, period, end of subject, no more, try to take less.  So far it's working great.

Should I be concerned that someone that is so successful (and he is very famous) is willing to give me narcotics because he understands the mechanism of my pain or should I just put my flags away and try methadone?

PS.  I've never done an illegal drug ever, which is what methadone is usually used for per my reserach, but I'm stupid, enlighten me.

[newllama]

You shouldn't be concerned that your doc is giving you meds to treat your pain...  But you should be concerned about taking pain meds with a previous addiction problem.  Have you considered alternative medicine (acupuncture/ yoga)?  I'm not judging you because if you really need the pain meds I understand...  Just a similiar story to how I got hooked.

[confusedOneNow]

Yeah, I've tried everything.  I tried a nerve block, not only did it not kill the pain-- the pain management jerk off punctured my lung and they had to put in a tube to drain it.  I still do my phyiscal therapy exercises, but the surgery gone wrong was 7 years ago, any nerve regeneration is done, done, done.

I have damage to my spinal accessory nerve, long thorasic nerve and supra scapular nerve with a "gross deformity to my right scapula" because the muscles are partially paralyzed.  

I've just never heard of a Psych/Neu prescribing narcotics.  But he also has 500 page (no joke) of medical records from me being scanned, probed, zapped, stuck, stabbed from 4 other Neurologists, 2 Orthopedic specialists, 2 Internal Medicine Doctors, etc.

I feel stuck.  If I take NOTHING, I stop function and won't get out of bed, it just hurts too much.  I'm 36 and use a damn cane because I'm so hunched over. Because of this, I just lost a job when I quit taking anything for it because I couldn't show up for work.

This just isn't fair.  Stopping the booze was pretty easy for me when we got to the root of my problem, why I wanted to drink.  Been seeing this Doctor a LONG time now. I did it witout aa, so I guess you would call me a "dry drunk" because I don't go to meetings, I don't belive in the steps (for me) and I've been sober for years now.

[newllama]

It's different for everyone...  When I first started taking pain meds seriously it was about 3 years ago when I had a tumor in my uterous that the doctors couldn't find.  I had Sooo many test and went to numerous doctors and finally after litertally cutting me open they found out what was wrong.  I spent a few months taking vicodine all day long and as soon as I was better quit with no problems. During that 3 months the vics were my only answer...  So I understand your plight.  However, 8 months ago my friend got a bottle of vics after her liposuction and we started taking them for fun and somehow I started taking them alone and then not even to get high off them but just to function.  And now I want to stop I'm dealing with throwing up and I s*** my pants this morning.  Anyways, this isn't about me, but just think about what you are getting into.  I know you are which is why you wrote this...  Sometimes people need drugs, etc to get by, but are you going to have to live with the pain or live on drugs?  I know it's not a fun choice... but you should talk to your doctor about a long term plan.

[anjel75]

I know exactly what you mean. Some docs will do this for you, especially if you have been with him for a while and he would know you aren't a substance abuser. But let me give you some advice. There is a new drug out called Lyrica and it is the first med to be approved for nerve pain. Done wonders with me. Ask him about that to add to your other meds, see if it doesn't help...

[Jennifer375]

some people find AA to actually cause them to think more about alchohol and take away their internal sense of control due to the statement of "I have no power over my addiction" statements.... so if simple avoidance and personal willpower work for you then your doing exactly what you need to. Ultimately the day to day choice to NOT drink is YOURS ALONE anyways,, no one can babysit you 24/7 and if you were to drink you would first and formost be lying to yourself and therefore hurting yourself.... I understand why this past addictive behavior worries you in this instance, but your in PAIN,,, and irregarless of the past behavior this is different in that your not making a choice to hurt and its something your having to live with. Pain isnt an excuse to abuse,,,, its an experince that your simply trying to learn to live with.

Please dont let personal guilt for past mistakes weight you down because that can lead to depression and your not BAD for taking care of yourself. Actually NOT taking meds for the pain can cause a cascade effect in your brain where the pain gateway cant be shut if its flooded to often and to heavily, which leads to greater pain and distress to the point of messing with your brain chemistry. I dont think anyone here whos been in your position would think to chide you for even a moment, and if anything I for one feel your being hard on yourself for something you shouldnt be. Dont get caught up in the once an addict always an addict mind set.

*Holding space that you find how to trade pain for peace*

[jessejames31]

(just my opinion) if i could go back to the day i quit taking oxy and started taking methadone, i would have just went CT and rode out the 5 day storm, instead of taking something else thats almost impossible to come off of.. and has a 5 week storm.  i hate methadone because of how bad i need it !!

[MizDemeanor]

Welcome! Please indulge me to tell you a story....
My ex husband was an alcoholic and coke addict from when he was young. He got sober about 16 years ago, when he got sick and tired of being sick and tired ;)
For 14 plus years, he never took another drink or hit of coke and he was even mainlining it. Floored me how much he changed. (Not overnight, through years and years) He got remarried to a nice lady but yanno doesnt always work. He hurt his foot and was in constant pain for a while. He has to be able to do manual labor to run his company. Guess what, he got lortab for the pain. He was having marriage troubles. Next thing you know (about 6 months) hes off the wagon, doing CRACK this time. (Opiates didnt get him high enough after a period due to his past usage)  All the horrible things addicts do to the ones around them and himself. My son wound up in the hospital over getting a bad reaction to prozac when he decided he wanted to go "beat his dad up for messing everything up". (teenager) TERRIBLE scenario. His wife had to finally get him committed to rehab after he showed up at the ER complaining of "chest pains" and had really smoked enough crack to kill him. They made that case easier for her. After that, he's been clean about a year again, but once he got clean, he was devastated. He's pulled up his bootlaces and is doing one day at a time again, and doing well. I dont know alot of people who could have done that. (in my experience anyway)
If you still want to take the percs, here is my advice. If you EVER increase your dose ONCE, and you get HIGH. STOP then. As other posters said, there is Lyrica and I'm taking Neurontin, it seems to help. It doesnt get me high but at least I know what is going on around me. The best of luck to you my friend. I do not want what happened to my ex to happen to you, please be VERY careful if you chose this route to take the percs.
Peace.