New girl

[Jenny472]

I'm new on here, but feel like I've been on here forever, as I am always googling and finding myself reading from here anyways. I today decided to join. I've been taking my vicaprofen for 9 years, I'm 34 years old. Almost no one knows that I take these 3-5 pills a day. I have a husband, 2 children, great family, 2 awesome jobs, volunteer work, and so on. I feel like I live two lives. I've faked the flu several times trying to get off the pills, and I can't seem to find the strength. 4 days without is my max. They control my thoughts. I have nobody I can trust to talk to. I feel lost, and alone. ~ Jen

[ricart70]

I had to get to the point where more of me wanted to stop than wanted to keep going.It was always at a point where I had exhausted all of my other resources.Once I had a few clean days my thinking was clearer about what I had been doing to myself and my life and family,but while still using,the spell they had on me was too strong for me to think about much of anything besides staying high

[Jenny472]

Thanks everyone for your support. For those of you that stopped, did you know 100% that you wanted to stop, or were you stuck in this fog of inbetween? Everyday I want to stop, and yet I must not want to because I don't. Then I think what is wrong with me?
~Jen

[bama88]

Hi and welcome to our family. We've all been in your shoes. When I first came here I was scared confused miserable and thought I was the biggest looser on earth. I had a huge problem.

I was on pain pills for eight years. For real pain reasons. I started on loratabs or vicadon then went to high. doses....in the beginning for the first three years I took as rxed. I was going thru many knee surgeries and learned the meds had a bonus effect. Energy and stress relief. Well five knee surgeries I ended up in pain management to buy time for a knee replacement. And what did I encounter....a doctor who moved me to oxycontin. I was in addict heavan. Well the pain increased and my addiction bloomed. And compounded with real pain and mental Issues I was out of control.

Looking back I should have stopped on the Norcos. But Im stubborn. Norco withdraw is nothing compared to oxy withdraw. Not trying to make yours sound easy. Because its all hard. But the time line of feeling better isn't as long as oxy.

You can do this. I promise. If your super serious you'll get thru with the detox. Just like you I have two kids. One with special needs so it was very hard to find down time.

My advise is to tell yourself you've got the flu. And withdraws last about four to five days. Get the stuff for the Thomas recipie and hunker down.

Weaning is best. But I don't have the willpower for that. So I jumped. But you've got to do what's best for you.

Be proud of yourself for admitting you've got.A problem. That's step one. Now surround yourself with a strong support group. And be patient with yourself.

Were all here to help. We don't judge. Just support.

[conhall]

Hi Jen and Welcome to this Forum and I am glad you joined and posted Reaching out is first step :)
Are You wanting to quit or taper down ?
I Understand how you are feeling its a cycle each day its like  a movie playing out and we watch it everyday the same we want to stop the madness and being consumed with these lil pills but it never ends.
I was at the same place you are at but at a much higher dosage I wanted to stop and finally reached out and joined this forum and I quit I Just stopped the cycle and I am over 200 days now and yes it was hard but each day it got better and I Took my Life back you can do the same You can have your life back But first you have to decide what is it you want to taper down cut back or just Quit. You are on a low dosage but each day that goes by your tolerance will build and you will take more and more just to feel normal no high anymore just normal. I would personally quit now and get on with taking control back You can do this Keep posting reach out for support You sound like so many of us that have posted and you are not alone. :)
I hope to see more post from you

[Life360_Dave]

Hi Jenny and welcome. To be honest you not taking an incredibly high dosage compared to what i was taking so cold turkey should not be that difficult for you. After about 5 days you should have your strength back and the flu symtoms pretty much will subside. I was taking 7 to 8, 10mg of norcos for 3 years and was a real bear for me. I put myself on a taper program. Tapering worked for me as i gradually reduced my intake and got used to the withdrawal feeling as were less severe.
The trick is to get used to the feeling of withdrawals. Its a crazy mixed up feeling but the more you experience it the more you accept it. Its like any new feeling. At first you fight it but then you get to know it for what it is.

[YesLife4Me]

Hi Jen and Welcome!    

Congrats on wanting to take your life back.  Admitting the problem is the first step.   Getting past the physical withdraw is the next step and to be honest is easy compared to the mental slog you drag yourself through afterwards.  The adjustment to living without the mind altering chemicals to deal with everything is the harder part.  

What can we do to help you?    Are you in withdraw now?    

[Coze11]

Jen you are singing my song, exactly the same except I have one child.  Im new to trying to stop this craziness and I dont know if I can do it, but I hope I can.  The support Ive been getting, even just in the last few minutes from Domino and Weaver....so incredibly helpful.  Maybe if I get better I can help other people.  But for now, Im just taking all the support I can get.  And I have only disclosed about this addiction here.  So we can be honest here, and maybe support each other.  If I, who I considered hopeless,  can change from what I was doing, then anyone can.  They told me its better on the other side of addiction, so I want to find that out, an hour at a time......