New to MH...Opiate Addiction

Hello, my name is Shawn. I am 37 and have been addicted to opiates in all forms since 2002. I started with 5mg hydros and progressed to putting needles in my arm back in January and February. I never really got anymore addicted to the H more so than oxy's or hydro's partly because my body is dependent already. Once thing that I did get addicted to, strangly enough, was the act of shooting. Trying to find the vein, the blood going into the syringe.....anyhow I was introduced to the needle through my girlfriend, who sits in jail right now, 19 days clean from the "boy". Now I need to look at myself. And what I see isn't very good. There are other issues as well. Cracvk was  HUGE part of my life for 20 years. I seem to have gotten a hold of that demon, I can honestly say I am done with that. Crack IS the direct reason why I lost a $16/hr job 2 months ago and really have never accomplished anything. But the opiates are going to be the challenge. I will be watching this forum and hope I can get some help from the successes and failures of you people. Again my name is Shawn and I am a drug addict..........

[SophieShine]

Hi Shawn,
Welcome to the forum. There's a lot of people out there that will be able to relate to your DOC. I'm not an expert in opiates, but keep posting, support is on its way.
Best of luck to you. xxx. sophie.

[dominosarah]

Hi and welcome to the forum.  I am sara and a recovering addict.  You will find a ton of support and encouragement here.  How much are you using a day??

[cathy5841]

hey shawn, welcome to the forum.  being addicted to the act of shooting up is not strange...i have heard it many times.  i was a snorter not a shooter, but my daughter used the needle.  you can overcome with alot of hard work.  have you checked out some aftercare?  it is so important.  i never did H but there are others here that can help you!!!  good luck on your journey  and keep posting!!!

[jollyman069]

hi shawn, i am a recovering addict, and whatever you need we will try to help with it, keep posting, and ask all the questions you can

[wrenikle]

Neato....gots me a couple replies....and so quickly. So let me answer your questions...Dominosarah....You asked, "How much are you using a day?" I would have to honestly say as much as possible, but to give you a number it varies. I am rx'd 100 mg/day. I generally would kill a bottle of 80 10's in anywhere from 2-4 days....yes I get 80 10/325's every 7 days...lucky me.

And Cathy5841....aftercare....heh...yeah...hmmm.....this is a twisted subject in my head. I was at a really eff'd up spot 2 months ago. Was living in the middle of "crack alley" here in Rochester. Had just lost my job, my girlfriend was out performing ummm....hooking. So I went to DSS and they recommended a place called the Freedom House. This is a halfway house. They are the strictest in Rochester. And now, being that I seem to have gotten a hold of my crackin, I used Monday after 14 days clean, it was a terrible experience and don't feel the urge to did it....right now. My thinking is a little skewed right now......so yeah I am going to take a path towards after care...just not sure which one......

Shawn

[cattalina]

Hey Shawn - welcome to the forum. I'm a recovering junkie myself. Being addicted to the needle and that whole process is just par for the course. I was terrified of needles when I started and by the end I shot everything. My love affair with the needle was just as passionate as it was with the dope and oddly harder to stop thinking about. But you can get away from it with some hard work and determination. This battle is epic and you will have to commit to it but it absolutely can be done. Are you planning on going ct at home? What's your first step? Definitely keep posting - there's great support here! ~Catt

[mchiurazzi]

i also was addicted to H athough i never used needels i almost did but my friend(also dealer) wouldnt let me because he did and didnt want to see that happen to anyone else. anyway theres still certain streets and street corners i cant go near without getting horrible anxiety. one word of advise dont use suboxone! i did im tring to get off it now im 5 days off it now and worse than ever! if i could go back i would have never taken it! its evil! now id rather go through a 2 week max cold turkey withdrawl (withdrawal). but thats just my opinion.  good luck,
                          mike

[guv338]

I have to agree with mchiurazzi, if I had to do over, I would run like hell from the Suboxone.  After 10-12 years of heavy oxy,etc. I did 25 days of Sub and now after
72 days off the Sub, I'm still fighting to stay on top of all of this.  I am winning but man
it has been a real battle.  Hang in there all of you, it will get better.

[wrenikle]

Well....hmmmmmmm....sub's were an option...well I still need to do more research I guess....I can see the downfall of getting addicted to another pill......I guess now that I think about it.....if I gotta take pills wouldnt it be beneficial to get something from it? Ok I know this is total ******** but hey it's gotta come out....so if i start taking sub's to get off hydros aren't I still a pill addict? AND this is where it starts making sense in my head, so feel free to blow this post outta the water. Let me get this right.....been taking hydros for 6-7 years....lets say inna month I have been takin subs since I get off hydros....if I stop taking subs will I not feel like ****? When I stop taking hydros will I not feel like ****?  So taking subs seems pointless....it's like I still want to take pills that are physically addicting but without the benefit of the euphoria......Now people, that doesn't seem so far fetched does it.........:o) Shawn

For me subs isn't the answer.....

[Ella789]

Hi!  I have read posts from people who say absolutely do not go with the subs  and then others posts that it saved their life!!!  I was a lortab addict... detoxed in Feb.09 and I used Clonidine and a few tranzene along with the staples
( immodium,benadryl,otc pain meds.)  I tried everything to help boost my energy levels cause that bothered me sooooo very bad!!!  and depression too.!   I did have the help of a dr. who prescribed the clonidine for detox.  For the longest time I just had so very little energy and as a chronic pain person, I was dishartened and so agravated of myself.  Gosh, I'm glad time has gone by and I do still have a crave, so i go get an energy drink,take my neurotin,cymbalta,and remeron for sleep and a few ibuphrophen(sp?) and go eat some food.which is adding pounds and much needed weight( which prob needs to slow down now)  I am glad i can recall how it was with me, over-using the loras and calling for refills,feeling like the pill user i was and useing my medical condition as an excuse to use.  After 5 years i was a mess, and didn't see it for the longest. I just wanted the energy that came with it!!  i was pitiful,no self esteem,no sleep pattern,but i could cook and put supper on the table, do the laundry up and run a small business!!!!!!!  I live in a small town and most everyone knows me, and the pharmacy people know me!  Now they know I don't use the opiates and they perhaps think a bit different.  I'm sure I'm not their only user ( x-user ).

  I wish you well on your journey, I can tell you that this thing is doable........ not easy or pleasant but it takes time to heal and that is what we all need to do is heal our bodys and no one can do it for us.  We have choice.
God bless

Ella

[riri93]

opiates are a waste of time man even with these withdrawals im happier then i was using. your not a failure ever as long as u take the right steps to get help which your doing. i hope the best for you. just do it, i know its the hardest scariest thing ever but itll be worth it beleive me.      riley

[corey411]

Hi Wrenikle, Congratulations on your decision to get your life back and your (kinda) 14 days clean. I am also recovering from  a 7+ year Hydro addiction. Not sure if you are finding that the mental part of opiate withdrawal is the difficult part yet. It's definitly a fight but doable and very worth it. You will get lots of good advise and support here. You might want to check out some of the articles under health topics in the upper right of the forum. There's a lot of info. to help with understanding withdrawals and helping symptoms with amino acids. PAWS Post Acute Withdrawal Symptoms is great...some info on Sub as well. I agree with your thinking on that one.

I wish you the best on your road to recovery. If I can be of any help, feel free to contact me.

Peace and light, Corey

[wrenikle]

Well thanks everyone for the posts. Yeah so 55mg of oxy today. Enough to give a small child resiratory failure, but just enough to get me by today. I'm under the assumption I won't sleep through the night, thank god for late night talk radio. So tomorrow I will do 30mg in the morning (I have a visit down at the jail in da morning) as I need to function, I know excuse. But I will try for 15 mg later in the day. Woohoo.....i'll post more tomorrow....ohh and if anyone has a suggestion on this....my soulmate is incarcerated, although I won't be seeing her tomorrow :o)....I know I need new friends :o)....she is convinced subs are the way to go......again I say if I stop taking a pill and feel like **** i'm gonna get something out of it when I take it....scary but this is making more sense everytime I type it.....g'night folks.....Shawn

[worried878]

sounds like u r seeking help..admitting being an addict is tough..i remember the first time i ever did it..ouch!  this is a great place to be..it really is..read thru the health pages..some good stuff there in those pages!  (:

narcotics would be the harder to beat out of the 2.. //crack/like cocaine/ is a severe mental addiction tho...and when wds are over the mental part of narcotic addiction is what makes people relapse...and the urge to do crack will remain//so i would not dismiss it..it affects a different cascade in the brain making it physically wd free/almost/....but the main culprit in getting clean is mental..and most anyone would agree that has been there and been clean for any length of time

i am glad u found our forum and i hope u keep posting

[nick30]

Hi Shawn,
You've really found the right place. I doubt there are a more experienced, better bunch of people than the ones right here in this forum. You've already seen how quickly and honestly they will react when someone needs help. You've done the right thing by coming here and the right thing by figuring out that you need to get off this stuff for your life to be able to move in the right direction.
If you've managed to kick crack then i think anything is possible. I have heard from numerous 'career addicts' that crack is the one drug that is harder to kick than all others. Of course different people have different reactions and preferences to different drugs but I think most will agree that crack is certainly a very hard core drug.
Try to be as up front as you need to be, you won't be judged harshly if you slip up from time to time. Wishing you the best of luck and good health,
Regards,

Nick.