New to this but i want to quit.

I have been on this pain pill kick for just over a year now started with back pain from an injury but it has turned into something more due to that euphoric feeling and the feeling of getting through that next day pain free and in a good mood.Today is day 1 and i really want to stop this never ending cycle of wanting needing running out and trying to find more.The thing that makes me mad is recently i went like 5-6 days without anything got through alot of the w/d and actually remember feeling good on the day i finally was able to get something i even remember thinking to myself you know whats going to happen if you do this as i put them in my mouth and did it knowing i was going down that cycle again i regret that day now but im tired of this and i just want to end it im ready,been reading up on things to do at home to eleveate or reduce w/d.The one thing i think will help is to beable to talk to people openly about this secrete that im keeping from my family because im the rock im the one that gets the job done and they lean on me when it gets tough.I would like to try this out patient at home before going to a professional,i can do this i know it,feedback coments and concerns are welcome.

[dominosarah]

Welcome to the forum and yes you can do this!!!!  What are you taking and how much??  Check out the health pages on the right hand side of the page and it has the Thomas recipe and the amino acids listed.  It really helps to get on some sort of vitamin therapy.  Many of us come here with the same secrets as you and you will find a ton of strength and encouragement here.  WD's are not fun but it really is the easy part.  The mental part comes afterwards.  Have you thought about going to AA/NA  for some sort of aftercare??  So glad you are here and want to get your life back......sara

[ed_blue]

I know exactly what you are talking about I just found this site yesterday. You will be amazed at what everyone here will tell you. I'm on day 6 and it's hard. Read some of the comments from my post yesterday "new to the board" There are some wonderful people here. Being able to talk openly has lifted my spirits more than anything. Good luck!

Ed

[refusingbondage]

Yes you CAN do this.  Welcome!   You will get lots of good advise and support here.  I usually always suggest talking to close friends and family about whats going on.  You would be surprised how many of the people who love us already know or suspect it anyways.  But I do understand not being able to talk about it for your own reasons.  Thankfully - lots of people here to talk to and share with. We have all been where you are..kudos to you for reaching this conclusion now - after one year.. many of us have wasted far too many years.. you are making the right decision for sure.   Good luck and stay strong.  You can do this!

[slash36]

Welp ty for the hints im going to check all that stuff about amino acids next basiclly taking ocy,vicodin and percocet between 7.5mg too 30mg what ever came along, i knew i was in trouble once i was going outside my Dr to get them it just felt so good to beable to get through a day feeling good.I started taking a vitamine supplament starting today i do have some valium from my Dr when i was given meds for back pain never really took them but now i know why i did take them on nights when i went a few days after not having anything in my system the other thing i really expiriance is leg pain or a severe ache.ill get looking into the aminos ty slash.

[velveteen]

Thanks for giving me some hope that I can do it....  Quit ....  c/t is going to be rough but I have to just bite the bullet and do it...  We newbies can do it together and with the help of the one's that have done it already will give us the encouragement we need...  Thanks to all of you for words of wisdom....

[slash36]

Well i dont know about wisdom but i just want to do this not because its for me but becasue its a big stress on me knowing its hurting my family even if they don't know i know it hurts them.I want my life back i know its time.

[dominosarah]

We are here for everyone.  That is what we do here.  Keep posting your feelings no matter what they are.......let it out as you will feel better.  Just remember we are only a click away and we care.  You will never be alone here............sara

[slash36]

Its good to know i don't have to go through this alone i don't know why i didnt think about hitting a forum earlier for this,to at least talk about and get through it and know someone out there has gone or is going through what im going through and wants me to succeed.I have my first test coming up i have to go to my part time job any suggestions on getting through work,and maintain sanity?will be posting again soon.T/Y slash.

[slash36]

I have only been addicted to pills for like i said just over a year do i have a better shot at quiting then someone thats been doing it for like 5-10 or once your addicted time of addiction dosen't matter?

[dominosarah]

Just keep as busy as you can and stay positive thru this.  Keep telling yourself you are doing something really great for you and your family.  If it gets too bad just tell them you have the flu as the symptoms do resemble that!!!  Drink plenty of fluids during this time too.  Keep posting!!!        sara

[dominosarah]

I would think you would have an easier time but addiction is just what it is too.  You have realized early that there is a problem and that is very very good.  Some of us have been doing this for years and years.......You dont want to go down that road.  Some have lost spouses and children to this addiction.  That is the reality of this so the quicker you get off them the better.   sara

[slash36]

Thank you for the possitive feed back just reading your posts help me feel better and want to roll on headfirst and get this over with and im not making light of my situation i know its going to get tough as the next few days get here but im ready and ill keep posting.TY slash

[dominosarah]

I know you arent making light of your situation.  You are just asking questions and that is good.  Stay positive even when you dont feel good.  We have to rid our bodies of the poison so look at it like doing your body a favor.  You can and will do this!!!!    sara

[liscamdave]

What you just explained in your initial post, is the mental part of addiction. My dr told me that even though we know its wrong and we know if we do it we will suffer, yet we will still do it, that in itself is a problem and has to be addressed.

It can be done though..just make sure you stay with this forum and maybe look into meetings and maybe an addiction counselor. Its a long, hard road...but the reward when finally clean, is just wonderful...good luck...

Lisa

[slash36]

Must go to work be home in awhile thanks guys!!!    Slash

[SunGodRa]

I would suggest a holistic approach to your problem. Addiction is not just a physical thing.  It is a Spiritual, mental,  emotional and physical thing. And as such when you approach it holistically you get a better and more successful result.  
The challenge for you and everyone is that you are divided. Like several people in a boat rowing in different directions it will be hard for you to get to your goal. The secret to your success lies in you becoming One. So that all the parts of you are supporting your goal.
If you started taking the medications for pain you have to address the pain because it is something that you have been suppressing with the drug so when you stop taking it the reason for why you took it come back.  Its all about the Onement. In everything you do.  You are perfect.  All you got to do do is get yourself back to who you naturally are. Its a process like learning to play the piano.  That is the goal in life, the drugs are but a symbol that has come crashing through your consciousness that you have some work to do in that regard. Let all things be your teacher.
Peace to you my friend.
A.

[snowflake620]

WOW!!!!!!
snowflake

[slash36]

That is powerful and ty for the info Sungod ill see what i can do on the spiritual end of all this staying focus gets blurred at times and being more spiritual could help in addressing some of the issues.I feel a little shaky right now but over all not to bad however tomorrow will be a different story im sure.I feel focused and ready to do this i just hope my will can stand the test of time.Slash

[slash36]

Welp the start of day 2 begins.

[slash36]

Yes dave i think your right and so far its helping being able to discuss this is good therapy.Well need to get kids to school post when i get home.Slash

[soupie21]

Great job for wanting to quit. i am on day 2 off os opiates. I have found that vit b12 and magneseum vit, are helping me with the physical crappiness of w/d i am able to get out of bed easily. but i am also on the sub. but i have never felt this good day 2. Good Luck!!!!

[slash36]

Ok i have some down time at this point im home just kinda chillin out ate breakfast took a multivitamin some C supplement mental cravings heavy physical w/d are minimal at this time.Just want to get through day 2.

[soupie21]

you can do it keep busy! go for a walk. or  something tokeep ur mind off it. i know its hard i used to lay in bed hoping the cravings would just go away. and they dont. good luck!!

[slash36]

U said your on the sub im not sure what that is or what it stands for.I have to do some grocery shopping today im going to get some B12 was it? any way ty for your insight lets get through this.

[amzy22]

you are totally on the right track girl. you stating that "you can do it" really makes me think that you are a very strong individual anyways. the hardest thing for me when it came to stopping the use of pain killers, was feeling like i might not be as hard of a worker at my job, or that i wouldnt be able to get everything done in my day...things along that nature. but you know...normal, sober people, dont move 90 to nothin, and do a million things in one day. (im sure u know what im saying.)

all of the msgs youve gotten are great! def stay BUSY! laying around will actually make you feel worse! and that goes for just about any type of w/d! and vitamins are great for you anyways so def keep taking them as well!

good luck to you! i know you can do it!

[slash36]

T/Y for the kind words im pacing myself today as for the things i have to do im spreading things out so something is going on all day.Ya know what helped me alot was yesterday i kept my daughter home from school shes 5 cause she was ill and that helped having her here,shes back to school today boy i wish she was here anyway watching a movie and keeping busy post again soon.

[amzy22]

its crazy how a child can totally take your mind off of youself! i can feel like total ****, or  just be having the worst day, and as soon as i see and pick up my step son, i totally forget about myself! its no longer about me anymore! i dont have my own child, but sometimes i wish i did because of that very reason. my step-son is five also. i have a ? not related to this site...heh.... is age 5 the age where they want to just do everything themselves?! ill try to help our little boy just simply open something, or put something together, and he will actually yell! " I CAN DO IT!" I guess he needs to learn to do things on his own but i want him to know that needing help or working as a team isnt nec a bad thing! does that make sence? lol!

[stilltrying1965]

We stumbled on this site nearly two weeks ago. I myself think it something beyond us that brought me here but anyway after 1 night talking to everyone here my wife and myself decided to c/t off a 13yr heroin addiction. We have never touched a drop sincse. Its not easy but my wife was in the same position (no one knew about her addiction). We all learn to lie ec to get what you need, but you can talk here no one will judge you and you sound really positive. Try tonic water (for the quinine) it helps the legs. Good luck. stay strong. You are doing it. J&K

[slash36]

Welp the end of day three has arrived without using and feel good about that have yet another test tomorrow as i go back to work for the first time scense i stopped using,over all not a bad day phsical w/d at a minimume however the mental got kinda rough during the day but i fought them off by staying busy.Its funny night time is when i feel the best even the mental aspect quiets down guessing its the melitonin kicking in plus i took a valume looks like my first night with trouble sleeping is ahead of me.Im happy to report another day has gone buy without 1 pill.I also bought b12 to assisst in combating the w/d,now i have vit c mulivit,and i think it helped some.I was told tonic water helps with rls is there truth to that?Finally t/y guys for the continued support still feel focused about beating this habit...Post again soon Slash. Be at work all day tomorrow so i wonk get a chance to post again till saturday.....Slash

[CR_ST_NA]

you've basically told some of my story. sounds like a lot of what i went through. out patient treatment is great and can be very helpful, if you are ready to stop using. i remember when i first went to out patient, i went to the first group meeting high on pills and long story short three months later i was at in' patient treatment. you can do it though, takes a lot of hard work, support and honesty. best of luck to ya, god bless. christina

[slash36]

Welp i have sad news i backslid on my third day a buddy of mine called me up told me he had so pills i was on my way to work not feeling all that bad either however the call was all it took i detoured from work and got them.Took them throughout the day knowing what i did i cant help to say it felt good to operate at what i think is full capacity.I know i can do it without the pills i have done it,the physical w/d i can get through its the mental part that im still very week at controling im going to beat this i dont care how many times it takes.I am happy to report im on day 2 again cravings are moderate day three will start by going back to work.post again later