Newbie...Despertly need support for addiction and detoxing

[Missy3d]

Hello everyone,
I'm a 28 year old female addicted to opiates and benzo's, with major depression/anxiety!! I'm ruining my life and marriage! I have got to stop! I'm going to detox off the opiates and need support so badly! I don't have the money to get a supply to taper down, see a doc, or enter rehab! I'm scared out of my mind because last time I was in rehab and medicated! My husband knows about my addiction but doesn't know how to be supportive.

[BarbRTR]

I lost my insurance, but still need stomach, BP meds and such. I quit my AD but I was paying cash for that too.

I found that mom and pop pharmacies in my town are way cheaper than Wal Mart.

Plus some members here said I could pay 25$ at Walgreens, and get my meds cheaper possibly. I am going to look into that at refill time.

So that's something you could check into about an AD.

Hope you're doing ok today!

[VICourageous]

Hi Thanks for the invite. Just wanted to pass some of the tips I got from resources. You can reseach this in your time.
Addiction and the Brains pleasure pathway: Beyond Willpower.A drug is taken at first time by choice to feel pleasure or to relieve depression or stress. Repeated drug use disrupts well-balanced systems in the human brain in ways that persist eventually replacing a persons normal needs and desires with a one track mission to seek drugs. At this point normal desires and motives will have a hard time competing with the desire to take a drug. A person takes a drug of abuse, activating the same brain circuits as do behaviors linked to survival, such as eating, sex, bonding, the drug causes a surge in levels of a brain chemical called dopamine, which results in feelings of pleasure. The brain remebers the pleasure and wants it repeated. I hope you can understand how powerful this disease is and it becomes not are fault. So hang in go for the ride and try your best to get clean..I feel no more depression at all right now since I came clean, but I go to meetings so I can learn how to deal with life out there, Good or Bad. S==it will happen to us. We have to not give in....
God Bless
vickie

[Missy3d]

it varies hugely based on if I have enough opiates...A normal day 1-3 1mg or up to 5 on a bad day :(
I hate them but don't know how to live without them!

[Missy3d]

Thank you for the welcome.
We do have a sliding scale Dr. office near but I'm embarrassed to say that I have 5 bucks to my name! I plan on going the minute I have the money to get help with not only my addictions but depression and anxiety issues.I'm hoping to detox of the the opiates now and take my clonazepam as scheduled, until a Dr. can taper me off the benzo. My husband will be in charge of the benzos.
I have been taking what ever I can get my hands on to just stop the withdraw...It started with 5-6 10mg hydros, then built to 20 hyros per day. I have been taking 30-60 mg per day of Roxy lately. My clonazepam varies. 1-4 mg per day.
Thank you so much for the advice and support! I'm definitely going to be looking into NA meetings. I need all the support I can get! I'm so glad I found this community!! I will keep posting!

[Missy3d]

Thank you for the warm welcome :)
Thank you so much for the Thomas Recipe!! I don't have the option to taper but everything else was incredibly helpful.  

I have thought about it and AGREE! I'm not going to clod turkey the benzo while detoxing off the opiates. My husband will hold on to the benzo and give them to me as scheduled. As of right now my benzo is off the street and not prescribed. As soon as I'm able to afford it, I'm going to see the Dr. about getting me off my benzo. I will just tell him/her the exact truth about them.

The metal and emotional stuff is what scares me the most! I know I cannot do this alone! THANK THANK THANK YOU for your support!! I will keep posting!

[Missy3d]

thank you so much for the advice...
I have thought about it and AGREE! I'm not going to clod turkey the benzo while detoxing off the opiates. My husband will hold on to the benzo and give them to me as scheduled. As of right now my benzo is off the street and not prescribed. As soon as I'm able to afford it, I'm going to see the Dr. about getting me off my benzo.
Thank you so much for the support and I will keep posting!

[Missy3d]

Thank you so much for the encouragement! Your story is just so inspiring and gives the hope that I can do this. To be completely honest I don't know if I'm ready, I JUST KNOW I WANT TO STOP SO BADLY! I WANT MY LIFE AND HEALTH BACK! I'm prepared for the physical withdraw but am terrified of all the metal stuff. My depression and anxiety is ruining me. I'm usually on an anti depressant and plan to get back on one when I have the $$$. I know it will help hugely in my recovery! It's all just a matter of when I can pay to see a Dr. and afford the meds :( I'm taking my benzo threw the withdraw and then hope to get off it under a Dr.'s care. I just don't think I can get threw the opiate withdraw without it.

I'm very ready to do this!!!!!!!! I took my last dosage of Roxy tonight and should begin to detox tomorrow...Thank you for your support! I'm more then sure I'm going to need it. I have tried to do this to many times with out others help. I admit it, I NEED HELP!

[Enuffisenough]

I also take clinazepam as needed. They are horrible to get off. How many a day ????

[VICourageous]

Hi welcome...Do they have a DR office in your town that goes by a scale of how much you got? What opiates are you on and how many mg. a day. Also what is the benzo? From my experience I went c/t (Not recommented) from the methedone and clonzepam. It was a bad idea to do this because like they say benzo/booze is highly dangerous. I would go to a DR and be honest with the addiction and asked to be tapered down from it ALL. Try not to do the merry-go-around from one drug to another. Do you have any body you trust that can pass the pills out to you. If we have control of them our brain plays a game and we think we need more because we are not feeling it......Also if you feel you can not do this alone go to some AA/NA meetings you will find your angle there in someone who is ready to take you under there wing and help you get threw this.  This site is a BLESSING to they can help you every step of the way on what, how and why to use natual, otc, or ect.. They will guide you in you w/ds...It gets better min by min trust us WE ALL have done it and are here to share our experiences.
Hey God Bless you for taking the first step in wanting your life back....
vickie

[BarbRTR]

When I say go to the ER for the benzo's, I meant with help to come off of them of course, not just to get more! Sorry, I worded my comment incorrectly.

I'm really concerned about you stopping them CT without a Dr..

[BarbRTR]

Hi and welcome. It's kinda slow here on the weekends, but stay around, there will be more people around.

There are many tips to help you with acute opiate wds. Google the Thomas Recipie for some things that can help. It can be done safely at home if your healthy.

But as hope4good said,  benzo's are a different ball game. Depending on usage, CTing those can cause seizures and other issues. You really need to see a Dr for that.

Even if you have been getting them off the streets, you won't get in trouble asking a dr to help. For the most part, they will be happy you're asking and wanting to stop. Do you your own Dr? I see you say money is an issue. If so, go to the ER for the benzo's.

We can help you emotionally, this can be really hard. But being safe is of utmost importance!
Please stay in touch, let us know how you're doing.

[hope4good]

The opiates you can get through but the benzo's is what i'm worried about.  It is very difficult to safely get off those without your dr. tapering you down or going to rehab.  You said you don't have a supply of them and can't go to the dr., maybe you could call your dr. and tell him what is going on and he can probably help you.  Dr's know how dangerous it is to go cold turkey off benzos.  You can do this just make sure to get some support.  Keep posting.

[Nursey7]

Hey lady thanks for the comment on my post; I appreciate it. You can do this; you just got to be ready. I have been a hydrocodone addict for at least 10 years and of very recent Roxy. I believe I need pain meds; I just wish there were meds that helped that weren't narcotic. I have the same issues horrible depression and anxiety. The Effexor really is helping my depression. I do also take Ativan for anxiety but I haven't ever had an issue with it so far. Let me know when you are ready cuz we can do it together!  I don't know the extent of the benzo use but just be careful if you decide to taper. Seizures is a biggy if you stop to fast. Anyway I am here if you need anything ;-)