No Posts? Am i kicked out?

[wannabfre2b]

I posted this morning, i am going through some bad stuff, and i know my post from last week was removed, but, i was in alot of issues, husband being abusive, etc.  but now no one wants to talk to me.  I thought you guys were on here to help people, not ignore them.  I thought the Forum was supposed to help people through w/d's and bad times, well, im having a bad time............so you ignore me................i am truly hurt, this is one place i can vent, so i vented, and now no one wants to talk to me...tired of oxys, where are you girl, i need to hear from you.   Im am truly crushed............im sorry about posting that nite, but my husband was totally out of control, i need to get to that doctor for my back, and get better.   You all seem like your upset with me, whats the deal, ive seen worse posts on here, alot worse...talk to me somebody.  thanks ................a whole bunch

[tavia14]

Sorry wrong subject

[tavia14]

Aaahhh , in my case it would be the office help or I guess she is a RN who filled and refilled and refilled and refilled ( you get the picture) my Vic and Tramadol without a blink of an eye. I too thought I was in heaven UNTIL I realized I was really in hell :(  Day 13 ya'all

[wannabfre2b]

Hey hey now, lets STOP the bickering, come on now, arent we here on the Forum to help each other, we need to stop this crap right now.  An YOU Brother Frankie, need to be more understanding and compassionate on here, wow, you are a recovered addict, so you have to look down your nose at us addicts who are struggling with addiction.  Its a very hard road, and you dont help any mister.  So no more nice posts from me, and im going to ignore yours, because YOU seem like your too good for us addicts who fail, pick up our feet, dust them off, and try again, ive had enough of YOUR attitude brother.  thats all i got to say.

[BrotherFrankie]

no excuse for your lang..

[Kelseago]

Excuse my language but your a**holeness is also "addict behavior". I'm not gonna ramble on with well written words, that's all I have to say.

[BrotherFrankie]

truth is, i did not bring god into the post.. all i said was its addict behavior...

LOL

still is.

be blessed..

[dominosarah]

I can feel some of the frustration from a few of you and it is justified so i will just say this, Take what you need and leave the rest.  This is the time when we learn to pick our battles.  Hope this helps a bit~~sara

[eyeofhorus2010]

Yeah, Kat said it so well. I spent an hour last night writing and then erasing, writing then erasing trying very hard to tone down the fury I was feeling. To me, the remark "just addict behavior" sounded as if we should all just dismiss her because she's just a lowly addict not worthy of consideration. Life is hard enough as it is, it shouldn't be humiliating too.

[vicki595]

Kat~~  Nicely stated.  No one feels more alone than an addict who's actively using or actively recovering.  It's very hard and we DO get needy. Being loved and supported is paramount. If we aren't getting it,we're begging for it!  Many of the feelings "wannabfre2b"
was expressing are part of the human condition and not particular to addicts alone. We all here know that; well almost all of us...

[Katrina81]

I have seen several posts from various people that seem rude and short. I agree with Kels Eye and Vicki. We are here for support compassion and this forum is MY online fellowship. This forum gave me the strength and courage to attend my NA meetings. Yes Brother Frankie we are addicts. Yes we have addict behavior. And yes we DO deserve and CRAVE compassion and sympathy from our peers on this forum. While I believe you are doing your best to be a man of God I also believe you are still learning what that exactly means. God IS forgiveness and compassion and sympathy. Atleast MY God is. We do not need reminders from you or ANYBODY that we are addicts and thus display addict behavior. We need reminders that we are loved. Not alone. And that no matter what we can ALWAYS come to this forum for comfort advice whatever we need. We dont need to be condemed and written off as oh thats just addict behavior. We have already admitted we are addicts and we are doing our best to change the behavior. Forgive our humanity.

[wannabfre2b]

Thanks for the support everyone, we dont need the "looking down our nose syndrome" on here, we come on here for help, NOT condemnation, thats why i put that bible verse in the end of my post.  Im just trying to get  along , and understand where this "man of God" is coming from.  This is a med help forum, and the last thing we need is someone preaching down our throats.  thanks you guys, that made my day.  Have a good weekend.  and  GOD BLESS US ADDICTS...amen

[vicki595]

Yes,Eye,exactly. Kind of like "Stockholm Syndrome"...Any of the clergy I have ever known would never flip someone off like that. Most here would never do that!!
But,that's his holy M.O...

[eyeofhorus2010]

vicki & Kels, thanks for the support. I halfway expected that to be my last post here, not knowing if I would be condemned for saying it. I just couldn't bite my tongue when wannabfre2b is not only insulted but then later made to feel like she should be the one to apologize for being insulted.

[vicki595]

Eye and Kels~~   You rock!  Just my opinion..

[Kelseago]

I agree with Eye....it really was just a bit rude. It's all in your delivery. Yes we are addicts, yes we whine n complain. This forum is a place where us addicts can go and feel comfortable to vent. I know I was raised if you have nothing nice to say then don't say anything at all. Just watch your delivery man. As addicts trying to better ourselves it really doesn't take much to set us over the edge. Compassion, it's as easy as that

[eyeofhorus2010]

Just holier than thou behavior.

Hurtful is hurtful. And biblical bedtime stories will never change that fact. If I don't believe in your God then your explanation doesn't make me feel any better. Why is it so hard to just offer words of compassion?  

I've seen this come up more than once and I can't help but wonder how many times posters feeling raw and vulnerable just don't come back to get the help they really need.

I know, just addictive behavior on my part....please..

[ImDONENoMore]

What a great post!  I found that when I accepted the opinions of others, it helped me to accept myself.  For what it's worth I am really impressed by your post.  :)

[wannabfre2b]

I have not posted for awhile, because i have been studying and (chewing) on what you wrote.  Yes, I do accept that i am an addict, and i was crying out, because no one would answer my posts, (i see alot of that on here, "isnt anyone listening".  We all make our own hell here in this lifetime, if we choose to sit and get pulled down, (by the bad boy, the father of lies, the devil), or we can look for help, on here, in a church, in a meeting, etc.  Brother Frankie, thank you for the enlightenment. Im always looking for someone to listen, i just want to let things out, and this place is wonderful for that.  As you said, i dont know you, and likewise, but i am sorry for offending you, i really do believe that God is working through you, and its so hard to look at yourself, it hurts, i know the steps, i went to treatment ,   oops, a long time ago, but its still there. I am ready to get off the bandwagon, and get real again, and i would appreciate any advice and help you can give me.  one of my favorites is...Luke 6:37  Do not judge and you will not be judged;and do not condemn, and you will not be condemned; forgive, and you will be forgiven.I look forward to seeing your posts....thank you......and yes, i accept i am an addict and powerless, so where to go next.  thank you my friend....Denise

[BrotherFrankie]

Dear wannabefre2b (and anyone else who may have been irked by my post)

whether you like what i said or not, its still addict behavior. That paranoid nobody cares thing we have going on... yup, its addict behavior...
I have been in countless group settings in rooms full of addicts and have shrugged off this behavior while saying "its just addict behavior and the group cuts that person (the complainer/baby/whiner/oh woe as me) some slack. We have all been there. We have all done it. (dont you care? im hurting and nobody is listening to my whining)

as far as would Jesus have said that? LOL here is a parable..

there was a man who had the flue. what made it different this time was he had a chance to have a festival dinner with the Master (jesus)... with all the excitment he ate too much during the passover meal. he was beside himself in stomach pain...
. he was embarrassed because he finally vomited all over the honored guests cloak and feet.

the twelve were horrified and began bickering amongst themselves maybe they should remove the guy from the dinner or leave him be.... ya know, they had rules too...

Jesus sensing this embarrassed ill guest uneasiness simply put his arm around him and said relax, what you did is just what sick people do.. (just addict behavior)..

what i said was the same... read the threads.. its just addict behavior.. or are you not an addict? if you say no, you cannot be helped. is your behavior addict behavior? yup.

start working the steps. get in a program. I have great empathy for addict that come to terms with their disease. Notice i said empathy and not compassion. (i am an addict)

Attacking my faith is another issue in itself. I just think of a verse from the beatitudes. "blessed are those persecuted for my names sake."

i also look where its coming from.. you do not know me, you may have not read all of my posts, you may not know what i do 7 days a week... but then again this is from a person who says "God's Blessings to  all of you (or most of you)...." yeah.... jesus would have said that?

now that is also addict behavior. sorry if you are offended. Many find the gospel of Christ offensive too.

Humbly accept God's help to change your patterns of the past.

"I will commit my life into the care of Christ."

Accept your limitations and your need for help in changing your unhealthy patterns of dealing with life.

Acknowledge your frailty and the feebleness of your willpower and self-effort to effect change.

Articulate to God your helplessness and your pledge to cooperate with Him as He changes you from the inside out.

"Humble yourselves, therefore, under God's mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time. Cast all your anxiety on Him because he cares for you." (1 Peter 5:6-7)

cast your anxiety on Him.....

pretty much sums it up. step 6 i think.. ( i am old and my brain f*rts at times)

you are loved unconditionally by the Lord as well as me, i am praying for your pain issues as well as your sobriety ..
God bless all of you who read this, the heathen, the needy, the ill, and the addicts..

Brother Frankie

[wannabfre2b]

Well, got back from doctor appointment with back surgeon, looks like no surgery, which is good news, he suggested some kind of a block (a shot of cortisone into back) sounds painful, but he scheduled me for one.  We had a long talk about narcotic pain killers, and I mentioned nothing about being an addict.  Well, the dear Lord must be watching out for me, because the doctor said a couple aleive  (OTC) pain relievers would work just fine.  It sounds kinda funny because when i left, i felt FREE, no more prescriptions.  (He also REALLY chewed on me about smoking, he said it was half my problem with my back.....Oh well, they always had to b___ at you about smoking.  Well, its day two, and am a little tired, no energy, but i will get through this.  I am glad im free of prescriptions, I am going to work hard at staying clean,,,,,this is it, so Gnarly, I have been saying "its ok not to be ok for awhile".  I had a long talk with my sister, and she has been clean quite awhile, she told me the "old self" will start coming back, i sure hope so, I should start feeling better in a couple of days, right?  May this be the LAST detox,  thanks to all, and God Bless....

[gnarly_1]

Hey Girl sorry if a post goes unnoticed we try our best to hit as many as we can but we do miss some we also try to prioritize taking the new ones first then going back to those we have already tryed to help....I wish I had the time and typing skills to post to everyone but I dont I type with 2 fingers its not uncomone for it to take me 20 or 30 mins to type out a post
I have followed your struggles with detoxing but dont know where your at right now???
as far as living with abusive people its unhealthy and will keep you sick I willl walk to the other end of earth with you to help you get clean but inevitably it up to you to do the work
all I can do is offer guidance this forum is about drug addiction and recovery from it
not to say nothing else gets mentioned but primarily where here to deal with addiction and addictive behavior now if I can help you in any way with that im all ears and will offer a helping hand in your recovery...and again im sorry if we missed your post please forgive me.......Gnarly    

[spankyone]

Dear wanna,
Keep up the positive thoughts.  This is a very hard time for you, and you will get through it.
My Dad has a saying that I think of often...he says "this to shall pass".  You will be able to look back on this blip in your time line soon and say, "wow", "how did I ever get myself through that?".  But you will and with your head held hi.  We as addicts must remember that it is not our fault that we have the faulty brain.  Addiction comes in many forms, even having abusive relationships can be addicting.  Do what you have to do for you, not for anyone else.  When I fell into the darkest days of my using crack this summer, I was surprise at the positive feedback I got from some folks that always seem to have their **** together.  Most of them told me two things, 1-no one is perfect, and every one makes mistakes.  2- it is not really the mistake that defines you, but how you get up from it and go one that does.
You are important enough just because you are who you are to be happy and successful in life.  Do not let anyone especially a man hold you down.

[wannabfre2b]

I just love reading your posts, you have such good advice, i feel like you could almost be a sister!!!  Today was a good one (so far) I went for a long swim at the health club (i love the place, a good get away and they are like family), hot tub, then got some bills paid etc, and money for the trip,  I have to drive to appointment on thursday (its about 3 hours away), and the drive just kills my back.  So i have three norcos left for the trip, and have just been taking them for pain.  My sister has a small house, and has not alot of room for me to stay there, but i plan on having a good long talk with her, and also go to some meetings.  (She knows of his abuse also, and has been there for me).  I have been really thinking alot, i have a small house i rent out, but its a 6 month lease, and they just moved in.  But i am going to move back in there, then ........if  i leave, i am not leaving this house to him, he is going to have to pay my back half of the equity to keep it.  It breaks my heart because its right on the creek, and really nice, but its JUST a house.    with no love in it....so why stay, just to live here?  I know i would be happier and healthier to be on my own again, I have been praying for God to give me some answers.  The situation IS toxic, and i need to get away from it and take care of me right now.  Thanks so much, i might post from my sisters when im away..Thanks to all of you, and send some prayers for me....God bless you oxy...

[New2This2010]

I can't agree more with tired_of_oxy. As long as you are in that situation its going to be hard as hell to get clean. The whole reason most of us addicts use is to numb something, usually emotional pain and if you are in it day in and day out you have no escape and you will just keep using to numb it. I know its hard to leave, but I don't see how you can be clean and endure that crap everyday. I wish you the best of luck and listen to tired_of_oxy, gooooood solid advice there!