No drugs without rehab. Is it possible?

[Foursonz]

I've been posting about my 19 year old boy. Your answers help me to understand and brings clarity to an otherwise confusing situation.  
My boy did not go to rehab- he refuses. Other than his psychiatrist,  there has been no outside support.  He says he can do this without rehab and has not done hard drugs for 2 months. He says he's done. To be clear, the hard drugs lasted 5 months and for 3-4 months it was probably daily use.
Can he do this with just the psychiatrist and his family? We are a strong, loving family but I'm afraid to give him an ultimatum- rehab or move out, for example. He has 3 brothers who love  him unconditionally and parents. Is this enough?

[Jinx_777]

it won't hurt you to randomly test him.  he has to earn your trust back.

sounds like he is clean.  

might be a good idea to make him get a job.  he to be responsible.  plus boredom is the #1 reason for relapse.

you want to keep his life structured as much as possible.  the more structure the better.

[Foursonz]

Thank you for support. This forum is filled with wonderful people. All the best.

[Amandag78]

Hi there, just giving you my support !!!
Your a devoted mother and that goes a long way in a persons recovery.
Just knowing your son has support from you can make a big difference.
I think rehab works for some, but not others.
I went twice and used on my last night there. I was in rehab for 3 monrhs at a time, but i dont think i was ready to quit.
I was disappointed i used, but i was also a lot younger than i am now. I didnt seem to understand the 12 steps while i was there.
I think him playing golf is a wonderful idea, it gets him outdoors, lets the sun soak into his brain and hes moving around getting exercise.
Reading really stimulates the brain and it also takes us to a "happy" place.
Also brain training is fantastic, so on the flip side, hes not doing too bad for someone who quit 2 months ago : )
If he wants to attend meetings as well, thats also great for recovery.
Good on you for taking the time to inform yourself on your sons addiction. As they say " A mothers love, is a mothers love " !!!
And you certainly proove that : )

[Foursonz]

My boy is living a very different life these days. He dropped out of college, doesnt work, has no contact with old friends, wont make new ones (admittedly not easy to do when hes not going out) and lost his license. No social life whatsoever, unless hes hanging with our younger son.
On the positive side, he plays several hours of golf a day (he wants to play college golf again someday), reads books that interest him at night and started doing complex puzzeles to "retrain his brain". He wants to go back to local community college next semester. My older sons left late august for school so he has developed a routine. I think he misses school.
Things are quiet right now BUT he has no access to a car or money. Im worried for the future.

[Foursonz]

Thank you.  I havent checked out that MH group but will do asap. Great idea about online support groups for young people. Will research and pass that on to him. Thanks again.

[Jinx_777]

your son is young and their mentality is that they are indestructible.

you cannot force rehab or any form of treatment on someone who is unwilling to accept help.  it is a waste of time and money.  he has to want it.

you have the ability to buy drug tests at any pharmacy.  i would do that randomly and frequently.  
since he is living at home you have a right to know where he is, who he is with, what he is doing, etc.  i would be on him like white on rice.

then there is the chance that he really doesn't need any help.  you will only know that when he earns your trust back.  

[PurrfectlyKrazy]

Something you might want to try is to give him the url for SMART Recovery.  Because of his age he may be more comfortable if he starts out electronically in terms of aftercare or rehab.

The best I've been able to see is that he really, really needs rehab but perhaps if he could be tempted to talk to people in his age group that have been through the whole thing that maybe, just maybe he'll give it a try.

I'm not going to swear to this but I sure know when I was 19 if I had a bunch of 40, 50 and 60 year old people trying to tell me what I needed to do I would have just laughed it off...Oh, what do they know?  Well, that's typical for us when we are young and our brains still haven't grown up.

I'm not saying SMART will be the best for him...but Google and see if you can find Recovery, Rehab and/or Support groups for teens/young adults.  It can't hurt right?

You are in my prayers hun...I can tell how much you love him and you are a mom...you want to fix something that you can't fix.  You really need to take care of yourself too okay?  Did you check out the MH Addiction: Living With An Addict group?  If not you should.

[IBKleen]

I agree with gnarly_1..he can do it without treatment but he has to work to learn new behavior and learn new life skills and engage in relapse prevention.Is the physiatrist an addiction specialist?  

I know it has been explained to you but I will say it again. He has a disease called "addiction" for which there is no known cure. Just because he put the drugs down it does not mean he is well. He needs to admit this and seek help to learn to live his life clean and without mind or mood altering substances. If he thinks he can do this alone he is sadly mistaken.

I'll say a prayer for your family.

[gnarly_1]

Hi.... well rehab is not a bad idea but if he is still clean you can make it with some sort of aftercare ..I have tried most of them  a substance abuse counselor my pastor a shrink but it wasent till I hit the rooms of Na that I changed from abstaining to recovery  this is a disease and you have to treat it this way  I still go to 4 meeting a week if your honest and willing to make changes this program works and then recovery is possible ;;you never have to use again I would approach your son with that he may be more willing to go  just google N/A meetings in your area I wish you all the luck in the world and just know recovery is possible.........gnarly..........