1970885 tn?1435864028
Norco Detox
I've been posting on other folks pages for the past couple of days, and decided I'd come forward with questions and thanks. I have been abusing pain meds of any kind for over ten years, maybe more. For the past year I've abused Norco 10s, taking 5 to 10 a day. I've lied to my doc, lied to my family, stole drugs from friends, went through med cabinets of homes I'd visit, even stole pain meds from my mother while she suffered the end stages of cancer. I've been through many ct withdrawals because I could never tapper off - I wanted that feeling, knowing full well what was waiting for me when i quit. On January 1st, I felt so much shame for having ripped off meds from a friend again, that I decided to stop. On January 2nd I took my last four Norco, and thus am in day four of detox. I have been in hell. Although I've detoxed in the past, I've NEVER experienced anything like this in my life. You all know the symptoms so I won't review. I'm at the end of day four, and feel a wee bit better. I was able to eat today. Because of the help I've received on this site, I bought Vit B12, C and an OTC sleep aid. I also got some great support and encouragement from folks like Lulu. Finally, I found a quote, and I can't remember where, from someone who said "...count the seconds, count the minutes, whatever it takes to get you through".  Thanks to all of you. I wonder how long, based on the time and amount used, it will be until the hell is over. I know that I've a long road ahead re learning how to live and enjoy life without the meds; I just want the panic, pain and sleeplessness to end. There are moments when I'm glad this is so hard...It is a blessing of sorts because I will never put myself through this again. I can't.
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Thank u! I just read thru ur whole transformation and it is scary, but it also gives me courage. I'm probably going to be talking to u a lot thru this bc it seems that I will be experiencing the same withdrawals as u since I took around 8-10 norcos a day. I'm so nervous. Last night was hell.
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1970885 tn?1435864028
Since you read my LONG series of posts, then you know that by day 4 I was eating, moving around, even driving. So, the next couple of days will be a bad ride, but it can be done. Keep your mind occupied; you'll have moments when you think you can't do it; I kept thinking about counting the seconds, minutes, etc. Every time you move, time passes. You watch a TV show, or read a post on this site, time is passing. It was 30 minutes ago since your last post - 30 minutes is good. I'll be here all day, as will lots of folks on this site.
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1970885 tn?1435864028
Day 15...Eating breakfast and realizing that I'm on week 3! What a concept. Still some good days, not so good days; good sleep and not so good sleep, but all in all, quite an improvement. I'm off to work; will be checking in. Thanks as always to all of you who helped make this possible.
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1970885 tn?1435864028
End of day 15. Still can't believe I've started week 3. I've been reading and posting on the strings of people just beginning their journey; my heart goes out to all of them. I'm reading my own pain and panic in their posts, but know that since I made it, they can too. Anyway, good night to all, and many thanks, as always. Day 16 up next...
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hey your doing great I know we beat this drum a lot but have you lined up aftercare yet///??? please dont try and skip over this step it is critical for long term recovery you off to a great start time to start recovery care......good luck and God bless congrats on 15 days.......Gnarly
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1926359 tn?1331591739
Hey Kyle....
I am so proud of you...Congratulations on hitting the 3 week mark...I knew you could do this.  It will keep getting better and better....How are you feeling mentally/emotionally?  You sound great....Have an awesome day....Lu
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1970885 tn?1435864028
Lulu:
Day 16. I'm feeling better each day. As you know, still good days and better days. I'm adjusting quite well to not sleeping my life away as I did on the meds. I went to the gym yesterday, feeling tired, but did fine and felt great when I was done. The emotional part is making progress. I feel almost happy sometimes. Just finished breakfast, and am off to work. Having you check in every once in a while is very reassuring. Thanks again to you and everyone who've helped me make it this far. Will check in later.
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1970885 tn?1435864028
Day 16 coming to an end. Great day at work, came home and finished another big dinner. Going to the gym tomorrow. I find it hard to believe that I'm feeling this good. I know that tomorrow may not be so good, but for now I'm happy. My days in hell seem like such a long time ago; they were a blessing. And so are all of you on this site who've helped me get here. Thanks again...See you on day 17.
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1970885 tn?1435864028
Day 17...Didn't sleep well last night, don't know why, but physically able to cope. Going to the gym today; that usually makes me feel better. Looking forward to posting three weeks clean...4 more days. It will be here before I know it. Thanks to everyone.
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Awesome job man!  I know when I got to 21 days during my long term sobriety it seemed like I really turned a corner.  The next few weeks flew by and I was at 60 days and realized I had not been thinking about pills everyday or even barely once a week for that matter.

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1970885 tn?1435864028
133113:
Thanks for your words. I am looking forward to not thinking about meds. I had my first pill dream two nights ago...Strange, but I was told it is fairly normal. Anyway, thanks again. It's been a wild ride, but I'm feeling much better.
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1926359 tn?1331591739
Hi Kyle...

I've been thinking about you and am so happy to hear you're doing well...Just stay in the moment my friend...You will be amazed at how your life transforms...The exercise is key-and you sound really good.  Keep going...Proud of you....Lu
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1970885 tn?1435864028
Lulu:
As always, I look forward to hearing from you. Thanks for your help. And I hope you are doing well. You support so many people on this site, you deserve all the happiness you share. I'll keep posting. Thanks.
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1970885 tn?1435864028
Evening of day 17...As I posted earlier, I didn't sleep well last night for some reason, BUT, as is turns out, I did just fine today. Made myself go to work, then to the gym. My eyes stung a bit, but that was it. Got through an hour of a mid-level workout. I've finished dinner and will probably try for a walk later.
As I posted on kk's string, I think that once your system is free of meds, detox is over, and the physical self is healing, then dealing with a lack of sleep is something we adjust to. I was surprised at how good I felt today despite being pretty tired. Anyway, thanks as always to everyone for their support and wisdom. On to day 18, then the illusive three week goal. Oh yeah, I'm listening to The Pogues again - most of their stuff is very uplifting. Just a suggestion.
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1979360 tn?1328147465
good for you man! that's quite bada$$ of you!
kudos to you, for day 17, almost 18!!
digital high five.
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1970885 tn?1435864028
theaddict:
Back at you. Hope all is well with you.
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1926359 tn?1331591739
Morning Kyle...
I am up bright and early (or dark and snowy and early, I should say)  FIghting a virus and pushing through a busy week...
You have the right attitude about sleep...It took me a lot longer than 3 weeks to accept that I just wasn't going to sleep consistently-and I still find myself getting worked up but then just take a deep breath and let it go.....

You are doing awesome and I'm happy to see, helping others....You have such a positive attitude and compassion it does a great service here....Keep posting and have a wonderful day 18....Lu
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1970885 tn?1435864028
Lulu:
You are up early. And as always, thank you for your ongoing support and positive comments.
Day 18 - Hard to believe. Anyway, this morning has been great. I feel really good. As I've been posting, I'm adjusting to the sleep thing; no more anxiety before going to bed. I've just accepted the fact that some nights will be better than others. And I feel that it is my obligation to this site to put my two cents in wherever I feel like I can add something. I read the posts of individuals just starting out and I just want to reach through the computer and assure them that they can do it. I've got so much help and support here that it is the least I can do. Anyway, I hope you have a great day. I'll be back.
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1979360 tn?1328147465
one of the worse things that i went through when i got off the pills was the anxiety at night when i was trying SO very hard to get some sort of wink of sleep. it felt like it consumed me.
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1970885 tn?1435864028
theaddict:
That is exactly what I was doing the first few days after the detox/withdrawal subsided. But, I started listening to Lulu and the others on this site about letting go, not worrying about it, and so that's what I started focusing on. I found that not dreading going to bed is the first step to sleeping better, and accepting lack of sleep as part of the healing process is the second. Thanks for your post. Hope all is well with you.
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1979360 tn?1328147465
absolutely!

i found that when i had a lot of tension or anxiety at night when i was trying to go to bed, i would go play videos on youtube or read stuff here on the forums to get my mind off of whatever it was.

for so long on the pills, the pills assisted me in not facing the things that were going on around me each and everyday. once i got off the pills, i was forced to face those things. thank god, because i had a lot of things that needed to be taken care of, haha!
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1970885 tn?1435864028
It is amazing how our stories, and those of the people on this site, are so similar. The drug might be different, but the pattern of use and reasons are the same.
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1926359 tn?1331591739
Hi Kyle...
Your third sober weekend!  Wanted to wish you a good one....I hope sleep is returning to you and the world is a brighter and more hopeful place...You are really at the point when things transform and getting towards that 30 day mark, life will look completely different.  I'm proud of how far you've come.  Off to walk dogs and then teach yoga.....Have an awesome day....Lu
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1970885 tn?1435864028
Lulu:
Good morning to you...Day 19. Sleep is getting a bit better. I'm eating breakfast and then heading over to try and fix my Aunt's car. She's an early riser; wanted me at her house at 9! When I was on the meds, that would have been impossible. I used to sleep til at least 11 on the weekends, mostly because I stayed up until all hours on the drugs, but also because the longer I slept, the less awake time until I could take my pills again. I wasted so many beautiful California days. Won't happen again. I hope you and everyone on this site have a great, or at least a good day. I plan to goof off after the Aunt visit. Happy Saturday. And thanks so much for all you do.
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1979360 tn?1328147465
i agree that a lot of the stories are so similar!
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1970885 tn?1435864028
Well, day 19 is coming to an end. All in all it was pretty good. I love the weekend, but without pills it seems to drag on. When I was using I would sleep til 11 a.m., get through a few hours, and then take the meds around 3 or 4. I got a lot done today. And am a day closer to the three week mark. For some reason reaching 21 days is a goal that is very important to me. Granted, a month, six months, a year...All important, but personally 21 days is what I've been focusing on from, well, day 1. To anyone just starting their journey, you can do it. I did, you can. Read the posts on this site; you'll discover stories that go from heartbreak to happiness. It doesn't matter if you're tapering or going cold turkey; just get started, and keep coming back. As always, thank you to everyone who's helped me along the way.
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1979360 tn?1328147465
digital high five, as always!
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1970885 tn?1435864028
...and one back at you. Thanks.
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1970885 tn?1435864028
Day 20 - and I'm off to treat myself to a donut for breakfast! I've been eating healthy, taking my vitamins, etc., but I woke up this morning and decided a donut is in my future.
Slept ok, same ol same ol. A little tired, eyes a little stingy, but I'm planning on having a great day. And with a donut for breakfast, well how could it not be a great day?  Thanks again to everyone who's helped me get to today.
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1926359 tn?1331591739
Morning Kyle...
this is your LuLu morning check in(:
21 days is a great milestone and you are doing awesome.  Our lives got pretty small while on pills so now it feels like there is just SO much.  I have found personally that a good routine (even on non-work days...don't have many of those(:)  is key.  Also taking 'me' time...Just to be with myself and process emotion, being kind and gentle and generally just taking good care.  Patience and understanding.  Also-connecting with others as much as possible.  I was so disconnected on the pills I had no idea.  My relationships are so much more precious to me now.  

Awesome job on 20 days!  We'll have to have a little cyber party for your big milestone tomorrow LOL...
Happy Sunday...
Lu
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Hey Kyle!  You're at the 3 week mark and that's wonderful!  Remember Day 1? UGH!!  LOL

It's time now to begin a new thread because this one is getting too hard to open!
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1979360 tn?1328147465
so glad you're almost at the three week mark.

i am not happy with you right now. because now, i want a donut. UGH! and to top it all off, it's raining outside pretty badly. yum! haha
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1970885 tn?1435864028
Lulu and Vicki:
Thanks so much. You two have been there since the beginning, something that I'll never forget. And I think tomorrow I will start another thread - 21 Days! (or something just as original). I personally like to re read this one from the beginning every now and then (did that this morning). It helps keep me focused on "off" days and thankful for everything that has happened. Anyway, thanks so much; I'll never be able to express how much your support means. I hope you both have a wonderful day.
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1970885 tn?1435864028
Don't worry - I ate a donut for you, and for at least three other people. Yeah, it's starting to rain here, but I have enough sugar in me at the moment that I probably won't notice for a while. Thanks again for being there. Try to enjoy your day.
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1926359 tn?1331591739
Grrrr...
I want a donut too!  And I NEVER eat donuts!!!!

And yes...Please start a new thread tomorrow(:
21 DAYS!!!!
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1970885 tn?1435864028
Lulu:
I haven't eaten a donut in years. Just popped in to my head. They were good, but I actually like my eggs and toast better. Anyway, will post later, and the big, new improved post tomorrow morning.
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Two days in off norcs and its crazy, I never thought I'd find my self kicking another habbit after alcohol. Its tough it is im hanging in there with the help of my beloved she's a trooper she is, and finding this sight today I find it very helping reading others stories about there going through the same thing as me its very similar its  scary lol. I have been using steady for almost 2 years n never thought I had a problem till I ran out lol. Till I find my self spending way to much money on These pills that thought was making me feel like a million bucks. I have a great life and only gets better I have a great family that I want to do good by. At the same time im really wanting to say screw it and get some to.get the edge off but I keep thinking to myself I should b half over with the worst of the w/d. I know that it only gets easier so just keep trucking!
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1970885 tn?1435864028
I don't know how you found this thread but boy, the memories came flooding back.
Anyway, if you have access to meds the odds are that you'll relapse, so cut all sources NOW. Start your own thread so we can help.  
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2083449 tn?1381358308
I just read through this whole thread! Wow, Kyle you really have come so far! Congrats on your success!
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2107198 tn?1336139706
I was a big time lurker on here in December and January, and remember this.    I did not pull the trigger until April and messed up in June.  But I am now on a great track, and hope to get to where you are!  Congrats, and keep on with your fantastic ability to cut to the quick of it and get people right.  I know it helped me.

Bryan
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1970885 tn?1435864028
Thanks. It is strange to read these. Hopefully jtizzler posts his own stuff.
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Wow!    What a flash back!!    xoxo
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1970885 tn?1435864028
Bryan. Thank you so much. I was surprised that this thread showed up after all this time. Oh yeah - getting people right and pissing some off along the way.
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1970885 tn?1435864028
Vicki - tell me about it. And after review, I owe you a hell of a lot. Can never say thanks enough. You helped change my life; and that includes the life of my wife & kids. You've earned many God points.
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Thanks...but you did the work and continue to do the work everyday, just as I do...and then we pay it forward, as we should.

And sometimes it works...
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3199802 tn?1362254159
This was really cool for me to read!! I think it's so awesome that this all trickles down. That's what life is about helping others in need. You- **** people off-NO not YOU!  You have always been so gentle on me-NOT!
;-D
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2122807 tn?1340808753
Wow, this was great to read. Kyle, you have come a long way!!!

Thanks for all of your help, you have helped so many.

love and hugs,
Lily
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1970885 tn?1435864028
Thanks guys. Hard to read but good to remember.
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3120424 tn?1347173632
I just finished reading this old thread....

They say death is 'the great equalizer'...i've always felt that addiction is too. Kyle you have come so far it seems as though you kind of want to move on from writing about this old post over and over ....just want to say its inspiring and I'm so proud of you...ok enough.
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1970885 tn?1435864028
Thanks. When I read this I remembered those days in hell. I hated it then and I still do - but it's important.
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