Norco w/d

[Timbear42]

I am in my first day of Norco w/d's. My last pill was yesterday at 3pm. I am feeling really awful. I am at work and told everyone i have the flu. My face is flush and I feel hot and my body is aching for a pill. I am weak and have diarreah. I have taken 4 pills a day for about 3 years. Anyone else been through this? would love to hear from you.

[HippyGirl100]

Thanks so much for the support.  I do have someone to talk to, found on this forum. One of the most encouraging people I've never met.
Gnarly, I posted a new thread. Thanks, I did not know how that worked and my mind is pretty jumpy today. The simplest things can't be done without careful concentration.
I feel like an alien. I freaked when my Washer went into the spin cycle. I swear it's never sounded like that before. And...I even forgot I was doing laundry. Crazy stuff.
At least I am not seeing trails this time..

My best friend was actually MAD at me.She was mad that I had not told her sooner. But she has one of those marriages where she tells her Husband EVERYTHING. And it's not fair to say--oh don't tell your hubby, is it?  Returns calls days later. She refused to help with my son so I could visit my Mother in the Hospital. Try not to think about that right now...
BTW; What do those  "REPORT" signs mean?
Late night is so rough. Thank God for youtube. I play song after song, all my favorites and cry cry cry.
And my on-line friend is up late, that is sooo nice.
Thanks everyone, now i know why support groups work.

[steveies]

It also helps to have a close family member or friend you can share this with.  Make sure that person is a positive person, someone who won't judge your habit or how you got yourself into this.  I'm not saying you can't talk about how you got here, but you don't want a person to trash you at this point, but someone who gives you encouragement.  And this may sound fruity, but it feels nice and encouraging to get a nice big hug from that person.  Touch therapy does work, it has brought me to tears during many of my withdrawals but they were tears of love.  Which leads me to the second point, keep telling yourself "I'm never coming back here because this *****".  The more times you fail, like myself, the harder it gets.  Those emotions you are feeling of doom, gloom, shame, they are the drug, they are not real.  This time around I wrote a big sign and put it on my fridge saying "this is not real".  Of course this is just in regards to the feelings I get because to say addiction is not real would be a down right lie.  Good job on what you are doing.  Just trying says a lot about yourself.  Just don't keep looking back at the past because you will trip.  I have tripped many times looking back, should have been looking straight ahead at the current day, current hour, current minute.  

[gnarly_1]

HI glad to here your giving it another try....go to the top of the screen and start a new thread ...start in the green box maked post a question you will get a lot more support that way good luck and God bless.....Gnarly

[HippyGirl100]

I  am almost done with DAY 3--again.   The Immodium is NOT WORKING.  So i stopped taking it. (my mind is jumping)
Oh. It's nearly impossible to get the antidote. Only one place in my area would "accept" me. 825.00 to start. Then 75 per week for 6 months. That does not include the meds. -Suboxone-  That is so ridiculous. Your Doc can give you enough drugs to kill you yet thy can't give you what you need to get off of them.  Conspiracy, it is. Drug Co. S****
Actually I was surviving fairly well until great big stress happened.  I am craving about 4 pills right now. But i am just forcing my way thru this. It is a must. I have zero access to DORCO right now.
TO NORCbGONE: Try and make yourself eat, no matter how disgusting it sounds.  If you are here, then you have already made the choice to stop.  Get Gatorade and Cup O' Noodles. And some Tuck's... if you get my drift.
Best of luck to us all..

[NorcBgone]

Hey girl - How are you holding up? Don't beat yourself up too much. This is tough! The toughest thing I've ever had to do. I'm on day 1 myself, well its been a few hours since my last dose. I'm trying to get thru this w/out taking time off work. I'm having to think of my w/d's in hours right now, or I'll definitely go find some more. Thinking about tomorrow is too painful for me. Best of luck to you, and keep trying.

[gnarly_1]

HI do your research on sub b/4 you decide it is right for you...it can be a life saver but at the same time it can put you in bondage just the same...hey some times it takes 4 trys
good luck and God bless......Gnarly

[HippyGirl100]

Meant to say SUBOXONE

[HippyGirl100]

RELAPSED!!!! After over a week.  My elderly Mother fell and shattered her already replaced hip.
Could NOT deal. So dang sick of this prison!  Yes, I did confiscate her shiny new bottle of DORKO.
I have been researching like crazy and have decided (after speaking to a Pharmacist) that I am going to ask my MD for Suboxten. Subs as they are called. I have no choice now. This makes my third relapse. I am not even going to go in to how crappy i feel about myself. One can imagine..
The Pharmacist said that you have to have a special license to prescribe Subs.
So my MD will have to refer me to someone. Now i have to take care of my mother and Diabetic Father, and my small son. By myself.
I can't wait till this stupid crap is over. That is why i am willing to even take another drug, t get off another.
Signing off,
whining, relapse queen.

[norcomonster]

lack of sleep is the worst - because it makes the days that much harder... but you are super close to being able to sleep better and more often.  for me, when the sleep started to come back - so did everything else positive.  tonight you will sleep 4 hours and before you know it, 6... hey, last night i slept 9 hours.  i woke up and for the first time in probably three years i said to myself "wow, that was a good night's rest". i personally don't understand the chemistry behind the lack of sleep... but i gotta believe it has to do with the fact your body isn't producing enough endorphines during the day...and you are no longer getting them from a pill, so you are simply in limbo until your body starts producing them again at a normal level ... with that logic, it made sense in my mind to exercise as much as possible (no matter how tired you are) to regain those endorphines.  seemed to work for me.  for the first week or two it was a constant inner struggle to get myself to exercise on a regular basis - but i believe it has helped me get this far w/out norco (35 days)

[HippyGirl100]

Thank-you.  Tomorrow will be Day 7. So why can't I sleep??? Only 2 hours last night. 3 the night before. Soon as my tired head hits the pillow my brain starts racing. And that is after taking a sleeping pill.
I did make it out of the house and got a massage today. But i still cannot sleep. The good news is I actually enjoyed a small bowl of Mom's macaroni salad.
The smell of food has repulsed me this last week of hell.
And i and thin anyway and have lost 4 lbs last time i checked.
I am calling my MD again tomorrow, he has been helpful and non-judgmental. (He's the dude that gave me 100 Norco every 3 weeks!)) Had hip surgery-needed it. Now i need it for other problems. I WILL NOT GO THROUGH THIS AGAIN!  This is torture!
Thanks again

[IBKleen]

G' Morning Hippie,

I read your posts this morning and I feel your desperation. Your are at a tough fork in the road right now.It often seems easier to just do the darn drugs and feel better, doesn't it? But next week, or next month you will be back here again. Believe me, it doesn't get any easier with each detox. But, if you could just get through that first week you would be on your way. Easier said than done, I know. I spent years going around in circles until I got to the point where I was tired and my body was giving up on me.

I didn't read all the responses but I can guess that somewhere along the line someone here mentioned aftercare to you. I won't push it down your throat but I will tell you that it was the only thing that worked for me. Using drugs was just a symptom of what was really going on with me and until I got deep down and began to deal with the issues, I could not stay clean.

Now I don't get up in the morning and wonder where my next pill is. I live with chronic pain so I can't say that all of my energy is back but it is way better than it was. Don't get me wrong, there are days when life just *****, but I get through it and move on to the next day. You can do that too.

I hope you can find your way to get and stay clean. Keep posting and listening to the members here. There are thousands and thousands of stories here, maybe one will click.

[HippyGirl100]

Here i am back again... I have relapsed twice since i last posted.   Now i am at the end of Day 5 and it was almost intolerable. I slept 2 hours the night before, and my 8 year old was bored and needy and that did not help.
My brain just won't shut off. The tossing and turning in bed is getting very old! That weird chest sensation, and the sneezing.. how weird is that.
Thank God I found a friend on this website who is one of the most encouraging people I have ever (not) met!
I am so very tired. (Having to wait on a child all day who is antsy to have fun now that school is out.)
Not good.  I thought i would be better by now!
Wish me luck, because I sometimes feel like this is going to last forever. It already has been an eternity.
Thanks

[Jimmy1975]

Hi Timbear , I can relate as I was almost on the same dose . You may be as lucky as I was as the physical  W/D's at that level seem not to be that bad for a lot of people including myself . Now the phycological effects was the tough part for me and I hope yours are better ! Hang in there , your life is right around the corner !  Jim

[Timbear42]

Hi lilscared,

I can understand your fear. w/d's are scary, but there are so many of us that will be here for you. I have 4 kids of my own, although mine are a little older. My inspiration came from a different place, but i would encourage you to hang on to your motivation. I gave myself no options to go back. Please do not be ashamed. We are humans and mis-steps are just a normal part of life. A step backward is just a step. You can turn it around and it sounds like you are ready.

I am having a little trouble getting online as much as i would like. Please keep posting and read up on the information found on the right side of this page. There is so much help here. There are so many kind people. You will be encouraged by many.

You can do this. I will be checking back as much as possible to see how things are going for you.

Tim

[HippyGirl100]

Dear lilscared, I am right there with ya girl. I am a single parent of  high maintenance 8 yr. old boy. I know the shame and guilt you are feeling. It has been 3 years for me. So last week i went from 7-9 pills a day to 1. Now i only have 2 halves (one yellow pill) left and that scares me. I DID go to work today!!! (I have my own business, which is both good and bad) And none of my clients  thought I was an alien. I was jubilant that I was able to make it thru with flying colours. May I ask how many times you have quit?  Honestly, had I known my Doctor was going to cut me off and hang me out to dry, I would have prepared. First by cutting all pills in half. Only take a half when the symptoms start. You are a Mom and this is the most demanding job (I) have EVER had. You must be able to function.( I have this deep seeded fear that if anyone knew, --even tho I have a real need for them, for pain(-hip surgery) that the authorities at large would take my baby from me.)  So I have kept everything secret.
Come on and fight the good fight with me. Lord knows we need all the help we can get.
Take care, start breaking up those pills.
I am not on the other side yet, but they say it's great over there.  ;)

[lilscared1975]

Hi.... ive been reading all these posts on here and you are soo inspiring!! Ive been taking hydros for 6 yrs now due to a back injury and i know and WANT to stop using!!! I was never addicted to anything in my life then i ended up in a bad relationship and he used his perks for control....and of course my life spiraled out of control from there on out. I did end up divorcing him but now have to get back to my healthy lifestyle and be free and clear of all abuse. I have 3 little girls that i know need me so that is my motivation in doing this....i have tried this numerous times only to relapse...this time i want to get and stay clean!!! Im scared as hell because ive been thru the wd's b4 and know what its like and how hard it is... and im soo ashamed that i went back to using instead of fighting the way i shouldve. I need support from someone who has made it thru this hell...please talk to me....;) i'll keep reading!! Thank you in advance

[HippyGirl100]

Thanks so much for the encouragement. I am having tea, slowly getting ready for work. I took my child to school early this a.m. and it was so very bright, i was seeing bright orangy/pink spots on everything. ???  The cravings are becoming intense. My whole body feels it.  Still no appetite. I will try to make it to the Health Food store today.

thanks again

[freedom007]

That's just your brain telling you to cave...so it can feed itself.  What you do not realize is that you can do this...and every minute that passes is a minute closer to Freedom.  Trust us...the other side is magnificent...filled with real emotions, feelings, colors, sounds, smells, excitement, crying, laughing, tasting...everything that has been missing for you over this prison sentence.

Please push on...we have all come out the other side...trust us, if you can not trust yourself...run a hot bath, go for a walk, but DO NOT GIVE UP.

Keep reading and posting...melted the hours away for me...


Free

[Timbear42]

Hi Hippy Girl,

You are so strong. You are doing an amazing job. Please know that we are here with you. You will have to go through this, but is something that can be done. Gear up for a fight. You will have to fight through this, but when it is over, you will be so happy for it. I had  4 days of intense w/d's. It does get much,  much, better and you will be so happy you fought through this. You will come out much stronger at the other end of this. It is a true strength, and not the chemical strength you may think you are getting from the little yellow demons. Please remember you are not alone. I just recently went through this and I remember what it was like. You can do this. You have already come so far. Just a little more time and you will be through this.

Keep fighting. We are here for you,

Keep posting,

Tim

[HippyGirl100]

This is too much.. Having to pretend like i have the flue.. Is there anybody out there??
I had NO IDEA Norco would do this to my body/mind. I have gone from 70 to 90 mg's a day to .05. only a few crumbs left.  I can't do this.

[HippyGirl100]

Thanks. "Detox" began at one this morning. Frequent trips to the bathroom. my skin is weird. i don't know if i am hot or cold. toss and turn could not sleep. want to throw up. The scariest thing is the size of my pupils this morning. They are huge, i look like an alien. I have a full day tomorrow. i hope i will be able to function.

[freedom007]

Keep fighting Hippygirl...these symptoms will pass...even though it does not seem like they will.  The other side is so much better than the prison you are dealing with now.  Taper, or no taper...you will have to go through detox.  It's every addicts right of passage...but it will get better and it will subside.  Concentrate on how you feel...so you never have to do this again.

Keep posting...keep fighting...stay clean

[HippyGirl100]

Hi Tim Bear. Nice you wrote. Having a VERY hard time presently..  The move was stressful and the pain in my arm became unbearable. Naturally, I took extra Norco and when I ran out, I had these God-awful symptoms, unbelievable. I did the "correct" thing and phoned my Doctor.  (I had super-chills and sneezing and puffy eyes and could not concentrate) + more. Weepy, very weepy.  Well, my Doc told me to stop taking them and take Benadryl at night and I will be fine.  I feel like i am going to die here..I did "borrow" the 8 pills i have left. Not enough. I can't go thru this, I called my Pharmacist today and he said  NO WAY, you did the right thing; your Doc MUST taper you off, CALL him back!.  So I waited all freaking day long. No call. (Actually i didn't call until 3:30, so that wasn't all day) Regardless, no word. I think he might realize that he should have done a better job monitoring me possibly worried about a lawsuit. I don't know.
I want to taper. I cannot fall apart. My intestines already have. *(sorry)
i wish this was not so public. it is too scary to publish one's e-mail address, isn't it?  I am in the fear and loathing mode..
Hope you get this Tim...
I can't sleep even while taking these small doses.
Wimpy and scared as hell,
Hgirl

[Timbear42]

Hi HipG,

How are things with you? Are you making the big move? I hope you are gaining strength from the changes. I myself am 22 days clean and the emotions have been so intense. There is so much clarity now and I am able to feel things and deal with issues i have been numbing for the last 3 years. I just now listened to that song and I am so glad you shared that with me. He looks like a fascinating guy...with lots of things to say. I'm not sure what he meant in that song but I am guessing he is saying  that if he could just get out and feel things he would. I feel as if I have "gotten out".  I am making some huge changes in my life, and made some of the most difficullt decisions i have ever made. I have sought lots of advice and counsel from friends and family. I am going to start attending a support group this following monday. Life has been real intense after getting clean. Many positive changes are occuring.

I hope you are continuing to feel stronger and are gaining strength from those around you.  Please continue to post here if you can.

.......arm in arm we are harmless sociopaths  :)    great line!  Thanks for sharing.