Not a question, just a topic about being an addicted parent!!!

A really nice friend on this site asked me "what are your triggers?"

I told him that I wasn't sure.  I told him that basically I take VIkes?norcs to motivate me and make me feel good about the overwhelming amount of work I have to do! So, I gave him a play by paly of my life every day, and when I was done I just wanted to share it with everyone and see if there are anyother moms or dads that feel they take this horrible effin drug to cope with family, and work...  So here goes!


In my message sent...

"  Hey buddy sorry it took me so long to get back to ya!  Work, 3 kids... You know how it is!

As far as triggers I,m not sure! I just like to take them to motivate me and help me feel a positive attitude towards all the fu*kin work I have to do every day!

Dude lemme lay it out for you! A typical day in the life of Cristina :

4 am : Rise and shine, pack a lunch, make coffee and breakfast for the fiance. Then I go back to sleep (usually) til 6:30 am when I wake up my girls to get ready for school. I make 2 more breakfasts and 2 more lunches, out the door and dropped off at school by 7:45 am! Now I don't wake my 4 yr old until right before we leave to take the girls, so when we get back I have to make ANOTHER breakfast!!

( DON'T FORGET ALSO THAT I WORK NIGHTS AND DIDN'T GO TO BED THE NIGHT BEFORE UNTIL 2:30 AM )

Between 8am and 1 pm I do chores around the house, you see a family if 5 manages to completely thrash my house while I am at work every fu*kin night! Not to mention the laundry that accumulates! There are clothes, towels blankets and such!  At least three loads done daily!

At 1 pm It is MANDATORY Tom and Jerry time with my 4 yr old son! ( This is not flexible and must be done daily! )

2:20 pm I pick up one daughter, go home and START getting ready for work, at 3:30 pm go pick up the other daughter, go home and FINISH getting ready for work!

4 pm time to go to work and Rock a 7 hr shift at at coffee shop that shall remain nameless to protect my identity ;-)

Off work at 11pm takes me 1/2 hr to drive home, then I usually try to take an hour or so to watch a favorite show, maybe have something to eat or take a shower.  

Or there are 2 nights a week where at 11 pm I have to go grocery shopping after work... ALONE! I have absolutely no time in my day, plus who wants to take a 4 yr old to wal mart... UGH!

Now don't forget that often, all to often within my day I have to squeeze in all sorts of little things like parent teacher conferences, dentist an doctor appts, paying bills, and all sorts of other regular errands and every day things there are to keep up with!!!



WOW! That was exhausting just typing it out like that LOL!!!!!

But Im not sure about triggers HA! It seems my ENTIRE life must be one...  But yeah, it is constant, from the time I get up until I go to bed It is non stop, it is relentless, exausting and  repetitive! "


So when I read it back to myself I was like WOW, no wonderI feel like I need a krutch.. sheesh...

[sway1]

if it's the old tom & jerry ( they don't talk) i think you should watch it too. lol. my life isn't quite as chaotic by schedule, but stuff comes up from my kids who are older constantly. speeding tickets, skateboard impoundment, grandkids sick and i seem to be the only person on the planet my daughter will consult for this. she's an LPN, but when it comes to her own kids she has no clue, rides, rides, rides!!! i have to cook enough food for my husband to last at least 5 days on sat. or sun.   car inspections. i feel your pain. it was like breathing or blinking was a trigger. how the heck can you I.D. the trigger when your time is not your own? hmmmmmm.....if i did get some time to myself, pills is where i was headed. it seemed like such a good idea at the time.
   i have gotten more done since i stopped taking pills than i ever would have on them and i thought that was why i was taking them. to get stuff done. sheesh is right.   sway

[luppygirl]

Man I feel for you.  I am exhausted just reading that schedule!!!

[imanaddict]

My busy schedule was also my trigger. I have 4 kids, and a  husband who works nights, so I can empathize! I feel like a single mom because I do EVERYTHING by myself. My husband watches the kids during the day with very little sleep, so I don't expect him to do all the chores around the house. My vic habit gave me the energy I needed to keep up. Life itself was taking it's toll on me. It still is actually! LOL! My kids are young and they are always up to something. My stepson gives us a lot of problems too, and I always thought that if I took another pill, it would all go away and I could continue about my business. Boy was I wrong! I was being a horrible mother to all of them. Always snapping at them and getting irritated easily over the small stuff. My 7 year old son (he was 5 at the time) brought it to my attention and it made me feel so guilty. He was absolutely right and I knew that. That was one of the things that opened my eyes to my addiction. I feel like a bad mother because it took my 5 yr old telling me how horrible I was being to wake me up! I haven't had a vic in a year and a half now and proud of it!

[VicAddict26]

I can also relate to that one,, life is full of things that make the pills easier to cope with, but you're not supposed to rely on a drug to help you do that,, For a long time I even considered that I deserved to take them because of all the things I do,, but I want true happiness again and the only way I'm going to be able to enjoy and appreciate those things is to learn how to do them and take comfort in doing those things..  I don't remember when but about 2 weeks into recovery I had made a post and one of the issues I addressed was wondering when the mundane things in life would give me some kind of fulfillment because after pulling the drug I didn't have energy, I had pain, and I really didn't enjoy doing the things that had to be done,, Now being 30 days into it I have gotten a lot of enjoyment our of those mundane things again,, And let me tell you my job isn't full of roses,, but I do find enjoyment in doing it,,

[outotown]

My trigger? hmmm! I didnot have a problem with the pills I was taking them for chronic pain. Then came the tore rotor cuff disc replacemnt in my neck dislocated left shoulder and 2 herniated T11 and 12 and they cannot fiw them. Now im on oxy kolonipin soma 350 and perc. 10s for break thur pain. Then now with the durgs i go back to work so screwed up I loose a 13 year old job, my truck ele. shut off no food house sold for taxes, and lost all respect from my 3 kids, so now im just self medicating, hoping i hurry up and die it was not happening fast enough so I thought I would help it along, and i woke up in, in house rehab. Then I got help used suboxone 13 months and now today im 18 days off sub. I lost my job 6 weeks ago was self employed so no unemployment. BUT THANK GOD IM OFF OF THE DRUGS CAUSE I HAVE THE ABILITY TO DO SOMTHING ABOUT WHERE IM AT. There is freedom away from pills but while on the pills you are at your DOC mercy.

[mtgoat911]

i stuggled for a while balancing my parenting schedual with my recovering needs
but at the end of the day i must place most of my energy into staying clean
or i will not be present in my childrens life, i get tired too, i have a busy schedule and have hep c, which makes you very tired
i use a program callled parenting in recovery, if you would like the infor let me know

[bigalspal]

BOREDOM is one of my worst triggers!
I've been in a holding pattern because I lost my job & my kids are all grown. My husband only gets home once a month & most of my friends use, so I talk to them if they call, but I'm not GOING anywhere with them!
I did enroll in summer classes for Paralegal studies that start in June at my local community college. Gotta retrain.
So, that should help. But June seems so far away.
I did get out today. That felt goood.
I ate at Wendy's. YUUUUMMY!
Bigalspal

[ForgotRomans828]

Reading your schedule made my heart start racing; WHOA!!!!
So, as I write this, I don't know if any of this is do-able in your life, but I started abusing because of my INSANE schedule too. I don't know how old your girls are, only your 4 year old boy.  I have 2 kids and a husband who is so self absorbed, I feel like a single parent.  I have a more than full time job and am in executive managment so have huge job pressures.  Both of by kids are profoundly gifted so require a lot of activities to keep them stimulated, plus I homeschool them.  
Things I have stopped:  Preparing EVERY meal.  Cereal and milk only require laying out bowls, spoons, cereal and the milk. (pour it into a pitcher if need be).
Fiance' - if he doesn't recognize now that you are running yourself ragged, what's going to happen when you are married.  Maybe he could pack his and the girl's lunches.
My philosophy, teach them how to sort laundry, and once they can reach the washing machine, they can start a load of clothes.  Let go of the way certain things are folded, or make it a "family" activity.  
Make meals simpler, cook in large batches and eat the same thing for a couple of days or freeze some for another meal.  KIDS can help with housework.  Dusting and running a vacumn do not require a special skill set, and the boost to their self esteem that they are contributing is amazing.  
I have begun to realize how much of this I have heaped on myself.
I have begun to start asking for help from my husband and my kids.  
You might be surprised!!!  Best of luck.

[worried878]

I think life is chaotic for most these days..I often say...the one thing I would pay money for/now that I dont pay for drugs/is an hour of free time!

Prioritizing is important when time is of the essence..after reading ur day, the one thing that stuck out is the 4 am breakfast for ur fiance?  what is up with that?  is he not understanding of the fact that u did not get home until 230 am? or is he just unable to make a bowl of cereal by himself?  either way that is one task i would try to eliminate if i had to prioritize

triggers for me came out when I stopped using...they r a bit differet/true triggers/ than what u described...they r usually a bit moe deep rooted and cause some to feel the need to use a drug to get thru the day where as another can do it without..altho not easily..just does not occur or help them to take narcs to do it all..good luck with ur busy day....and perhaps ur fiance could perhaps help u a bit?