Not a question, just need to get this off my chest

[DRose718]

I'm 26 years old and I have a hard time quiting perc 30s. It's been two years since I've been taking them. It's just lately there not making me feel like before. Before they use to put me in a good mood and want to do things but now I need to take them just to feel normal. The most I've done was eight a day but my normal is 3 to 4 a day. I've tried to quit plenty of times but can't fully go through it. Everyday I'm on them I feel guilty that I'm taking them. I have a full time important job so it's hard to recover. I've tried to take a week off to recover but the restless leg syndrome is the worst and the chills omg. Anxiety, panic attacks, not being able to do things throughout the day without me thinking about it makes me go back to them. The w/d's feel like it will never end. I e tried suboxone but that doesn't cure nothing. It seems like most people who's been stuck on these is a life time fight and it feels so heavy on me and scary. I want to go back to my old self so bad but can't get past the w/d's and thinking I need them to feel normal. Any advice?

[jifmoc]

DRose- I'll give you a "success" story. I was on about 8 to 10 norco per day for probably 8 or so years. When I was finally BEYOND sick and tired of that sh!t life, I detoxed. It was horrible as you know. The minutes felt like hours and I thought I would never feel human w/o a pill. I started feeling a bit better, then decided to just buy "a few." (I hadn't cut my contacts.) Then a few more. Then I started going back to the doctor and lying about pain. Almost a year of that until I got BEYOND beyond self-disgusted, detoxed again. This time I paid attention to everyone when they said to get my arse into aftercare. It was weird but I did it, and now I love my meetings. And my DESIRE to use is gone. If I think about pills, it's for a minute. Here is the success part: I can do whatever the eff I want and not worry about stupid pills! I can get stranded at an airport and not have a panic attack because I don't have pills. I can fall asleep like a normal person. I can work out w/o my "medicine." I can hang out w/ peeps and not worry about my dealer not calling me. All that anxiety...gone.

Just keep going. No one ever said: "Gee, I wish I was back on drugs."

[DRose718]

Hi and thank you for taking time out and commenting. Was you stuck on these before? How was your battle? I need a success story

[gnarly_1]

Hi...well congrats on getting your life back    and yes it su cks but not forever  this is 1/3 phyical and 2/3 mental be ready to fight it out on both fronts ....the best thing you can bring to the table is a positive attitude  every body is uncomfortable but suffering is a choice.... get up to the store and pick up a case of gatoraid and force the fluids  pick up a bunch of movies to watch  your probably not going to sleep....a hot soak will help with most the symptoms soak in epsom salt  they do make some stuff called highlands restful legs you can get it at walgreens it will help with the rls just know you can do this  I have said this a million times but ''you just got to be ok without being ok for a wile''  this to shall pass  keep posting for support  may God be with you...................Gnarly..............

[DRose718]

This sucksssss!! Anxiety, panick attacks, constantly fighting off the urge. Why is it so hard

[DRose718]

I can't even imagine how that would feel god bless you to recovery. It feels like death trying to quit doing 4 a day, 50 a day phew God bless you. I'm going to quit I just have to figure out how I'm going to do it. Has anyone ever heard of withdrawal ease? And if you did does it work?

[ChillyDanger]

Sorry the word talc was supposed to be the word "help". Stupid autocorrect

[ChillyDanger]

Good luck. If you ever want to just talk to someone who can relate I will listen. I can't help you as I am in here getting help and support myself however I can say this. Please do whatever you can to stop. 8 is a lot and won't be easy however I would do anything to be back down to 8. I am at 50 perks and need to get off. The loneliness is tough. WD is like having the worst flu ever and not being able to get any talc from your family. It's not that they don't care they just don't understand. I used to try and fake my way though when I ran out of pills but I can't now. I just tell my wife and get ready for hell. She looks at me with that disappointed look she always gives me. It breaks my heart to see her look at me that way. I used to be her hero. I'm sorry. Good luck. Be strong

[DRose718]

No not at the moment. I'm planning on not taking any tomorrow because I got the day off  but I work Saturday so i don't know what I'm going to do. It's hard to deal with the w/d, it's even harder to do it while working

[jifmoc]

Hi. Sorry if I didn't understand your post but are you detoxing right now?

[meegWpaw]

it is a daily fight but as you get more clean time you will have more resources to fight!  and you will see how great it is to be clean and how much better your life is, so that will motivate you as well.  it IS hard ... being clean is hard.  but it is so much better than the other way.  you can do this!  we are here for you.

[pillguy]

We know you are struggling and we will help you in whatever way we can.  I know the WDs feel like they will never end, but they do.

[DRose718]

It ***** I don't know what to do I feel so hopeless. Nobody knows I'm struggling with this neither

[IBKleen]

You will get back to you. You have to give it time. You will learn to hate the word time.You spent  long time getting sick. Now you have to take the time to get well. The pills gave you a false sense of who you are. they lied to you and they turned on you in the end. Not suprising. Been there. done that. If you hang on and keep going forward I promise it will get better.

[stacie_hennessey]

Not an answer just relating. I had multiple hard addictions and I am the one of few who said, I don't need this and quit. I had hot cold sweats, vomiting, but you know what, now I have a man who lives me, a son I'd die for, and a better life because I'm clean from that life I lived. It's a weight and a waste of money better spent on vacations and fun things, things that drugs make seem pointless and stupid