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Not doing too well & my fiance doesn't believe that it is withdrawal!

Well, after the 48 hour mark came without having taken but a sliver of Suboxone, I began to feel full fledged withdrawal.  My fiance asked how I was feeling, and I told her.  It started a huge blow out fight, because she remembered what my doctor told me 2 years ago, about Suboxone causing little to no withdrawal when you come off it.  I tried to explain that all the other people who have tried coming off this drug agree that it DOES cause withdrawal.  She screamed, "Do you know these people?" "They are all drug addicts and you are taking their word as gospel, and it is probably making you think that you are feeling withdrawal."  Therefore, another person thinks it is all in my head, and I have no one in my life I can share what I'm feeling with.  She is also upset that I chose to go off the meds now, rather than finding a job first and having health insurance, incase something happens to me medically.  I tried explaining that opiates aren't the kind of drugs that you can't quit cold turkey, and that if I found a job first, I would never have the time that I need to go through withdrawal.  That brought up the last point again, that it's not withdrawal I am feeling, but simply anxiety.  She won't come on this forum, and she won't go see my doctor with me, just to hear that detox is not in itself life-threatening.  I just think it's hypocritical that when I started taking Vicodin in the first place, because of pre-existing anxiety, she drilled into my head that I never had anxiety, and that it was from stopping the use of other drugs.  She thought it was wihdrawal then, but now all of a sudden, it's just anxiety.  I told her that if I truly had an anxiety disorder, then why would Vicodin or Suboxone make that go away?  Neither of those are anxiety meds.  She didn't have an answer.  Then I said that there's no way a person could rationally believe that someon can be on Vicodin for 2 years, then a replacement opiate for another 2 years, then stop taking it and NOT feel some kind of withdrawal!!  It's so frustrating.  Doctors everywhere need to start hearing people's stories about this medication, and some research needs to be done so it is not marketed as the "miracle drug that causes no withdrawal."  It makes me angry that doctors can be wrong, but she thinks that me saying that is just me being stubborn as usual, and thinking I am always right about everything.  But this time, I know I'm right.  I know that if I did things her way, I would never be free of this drug.  The irony is, to get better like she wants me to, and to be a good person again, I have to lie about what I'm feeling and what I'm doing, which is the behavior she wants me to change in the first place!  Grrr.  Well, thanks for listening.
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662972 tn?1270166301
I am not being mean at all but she really needs to read up on this and get a real understanding instead of just standing there bitc$ing all time for you to just get better and you will be ok... I understand that its hard on the ppl that do nothing but my husband does nothing in least and he has always been wonderful but he always has gotten all info he can so at least he knows as much as he can about things I am going through.
Helpful - 0
942290 tn?1252618549
in the end it really is going to be all "YOU"  that makes the difference, anyhow.

from what you have said, she may have reasons to not trust what you say. albeit she does come off as deliberately ignoring the situation, which does not help.

it will take YOU to acccept,that you cant control any opioids, even big pharms miracle drug !! (which I would highly suggest everyone that goes through this **** ,please do report to your sub docs and the manufacturer,what you have gone through !!  )

it will take YOU to be committed to the  long term fight, you have to fight this war,yourself in the end.

until YOU come to the conclussion, that there is never ANY reason to take opiods,period


support is great to have, but wont mean beans, if YOU dont do the work,yourself
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Haha, thanks everyone.  While I know this situation isn't very helpful right now, for me to decide to walk away from the relationship would be a little hypocritical.  She has stayed with me through countless lies and bullsh*t that I have put her through, and I understand her skepticism now.  I know that this will pass once she sees that I am free and clean.  It is just going to be a little rough along the way!
Helpful - 0
1051392 tn?1255469391
hey lynn i am so sorry, but it doent sound like she is all that supportive of you in the first place. she need to know who she is going to spend her life with your an addict thats a part of who you are not the whole part but a part that she needs to support and understand if she isnt even willing to look at this site and she belives that you are makeing up your WDs you have a long road ahead of you my friend! you need to surround yourself with people who care about you and are willing to help and try to understand at least a little. its sounds like she had no compassion for you it sounds like yout trying to get clean and trying to reach out tp her and shes shuting you down! if she is to be your wife your addiction becomes her addiction, you know? you may want to rethink this realionship and how heathy it is for you! Just a thought a by no means am at a place to be giving realionship advice thats for sure ha ha
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Avatar universal
hey sorry that u have to not only deal wth the w/ds but also the negativity from ur gf as well i kno tht its gotta be extra hard dealing wth not onlyone thng but both so as much as it sounds  selfish try and wrk on YOU and hopfuly all else will fall in place. good luck and like someonme else said come on here and post how u r feeling or thinking if she doesnt wana hear it ok buddy. and for whitie at least ur friends are still there for u mine all bailed on me well most of em and that really blow, i mean i kno i havent been the best friend the last few yrs but i never did anytrhng to them personally i just stopped partying wth them so they dont call or text to even ask me how im doing or anyhng like that i came clean wth al of em bout a year ago and in that time not one of them has ever called/texted/emaied/ to ask how im doin or how i been or if they could do anythng nothing even close to that and these arent just friends ive known for like 2 or 3 yrs ive been friends wth these guys for like 15 yrs some longer and this i how they treat me none of them take pills so like u guys said they dont know how we feel or ever gonna kno how we feel. its just makes u really  thnk i mean i have got alot friends but after this i realized that i don thave any TRUE friends other than one guy and that crazy cuz the group of guys i thought were tue friends was about10-12 of them and only 1 is atrue friend it just really hurts. well sry for rambling and getting off topkic. anyway. good luck an ill be here if u feel like talking or getting stuffoff ur chest
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Yeah, every time I bring up what other people are going throug, or that she should come to this forum or research the drug, it starts an argument.  She doesn't want to hear how other people feel, she thinks everyone else is wrong too.  The latest fight just ended in me threatening to move out for a few weeks, and her saying "go ahead."  I don't have any options.  I can stay here in an environment that is not conducive to getting better, or I can go do it on my own.  If I leave, that will be another thing I've done and another way I've let her down.  It's a lose lose situation.
Helpful - 0
942290 tn?1252618549
only addicts truly understand the pain we go through, I am convinced of that. even some of my best friends, when told in detail, still brainlessly expected me to do things while going through major methadone wd's!! they still have no clue. thats why in the end,we talk to those whom can relate.

perhaps if she took the time to look up(or you could print it for her and show her) opioid comparison chart, then show her where buprenorphine falls into the list...... its an extremely strong replacement narcotic semi synthetic opioid,period(only one tops it,fetanyl). make sure she realizes that the longer you are on anykind of opioid/opiate the harder it is too shake.  its a long process, that is very hard.

if she dont have a clue then, i dont what else to say to her.
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
hah sorry to say, but good luck with that marriage.
she may not realize it but she is only adding to the anxiety. yeeeesh!!

some good research into the sub would show that you are not suppose to take it for that long. just a few weeks. also it is a more complicated addiction than just the pain meds.
from what i have been hearing from most is that the pain meds are easier to come off of than the sub. but it can still be done.

she is not listening to a word you are saying and so you are pretty much on your own here. do what you know is going to be the best for you. after all it is you that has to drag your body around each day and deal with the true condition of yourself. lying is always an option, but do you want to do it forever??
best to you and let us know how you are doing.

ps  if your fiance is that niave about addiction. explain to her that the ingredients in your sub are the same that is in heroin.
Helpful - 0
1051392 tn?1255469391
congrats on on your success!!! i never took sub just because of the stories i have heard they say the wd fron thoses last alot longer then then the wds from vic or norco! its sounds like she doesnt understand addiction give her time incorage her to do some reserch of her own if she loves you she will come around and hopfuly support you. it is hard for them to understand when they dont know first hand what your going through. my husband as no idea what addiction is like where i now all to well it runs in my family he has never had to deal with it in tell me luckly he was willing to educate himself a bit. whould she be willing to attend a na meeting or get on this site. good luck to you i whis you the best
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
first off.....congrats on your success!

You are exactly right...they don't know what it feels like.  Let her cool off, and ask her to do a little research.  Hell...you could even do it for her, and say, "read this".  There's tons of information on the net that says how hard it is to get off the stuff.  And it just makes it that much harder to quit, when you don't have a good support system in place.  If she really cares about you (and I'm sure she does.....afterall, she IS your fiance) then she will take the time to see what you are really going thru, and then support you in any way she can.

Bring her on this forum.  Lots of good information on here....
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Thanks sid3.  Another problem is that non-addicts have NO IDEA what this feels like.  If my fiance felt withdrawal for one day, she would not have a leg to stand on.  But I wouldn't wish this feeling on my worst enemy.  So that makes us all alone, separated from those who do not understand.  They want us off of drugs, but they are not willing to go through the process with us.  "It should be easy."  I'm tired of hearing that.
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
your right, something does need to be done about the intense wds taht are more often that not associated with coming off of suboxone. I would encourage you to have your fiance read the forum, and others that detail other peoples experiences. She seems to have a stigma about "addicts"  Were not all the scurge of society that people that have never found themselves in our position think, think we are. We are good people fighting a disease. I hope you can convince her that you are in fact right this time
Helpful - 0
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