Nurofen plus withdrawal - Addiction: Substance Abuse

Hi Codeinechick, all I can say is if you feel your life is empty and meaningless without Nurofen then it is probably empty and meaningless. However, no-one I have ever met or who has examined their inner life is totally meaningless so I think you are more fearful of life without pills than you need to be.

The pills themselves have reduced you to feeling like this. Your brain has rewired itself to only appreciate drugs. It is a bad situation and that is what I was in, and that is one of the factors which motivated me to quit, or at least cut them back to purely one off occasions.

I don't know anything of how your days are spent and it could be that you have a fulfilling social and family life, but even so, if you find that you think of these little pills in such glowing terms, then I think something is clearly wrong and I think you think that too, and it is making you miserable.

There might not be many more exciting things in life than getting a quick high from pills, I agree, but it is better to miserable without them than miserable with them. If they aren't working for you because you are taking too much, just cut them down and start a new life for yourself. It can be done!

Cali

Mel2205

Aug 12, 2011

Hiya, I really feel for you because i could not have imagined life without these evil pills and i know in comparison to some, my consumption was quite minimal (up to 20 a day) but i think its the length of time you're body and mind have been used to this fix as well as the amount. Listen to Cali, he has a very good point when he says the pills have got you to the point of feeling meaningless!! believe me, only 7 days ago i could not have imagined i'd be writing a post, giving support to someone else! You will never be fully ready to quit but you have to pick a day (soon) and just do it.... after the initial WD you will start to see things more clearly and each day gets better. Don't get me wrong, mentally, you will probably be craving but physically you will become to realise that you just don't need them. After so many years of popping these things, i can finally see a future where i don't depend on them. Take every hour of every day as it comes, and be proud for each one than passes without N+.

Good luck to you.... i truly wish you all the strength to believe in yourself. x

Mel

enela

Aug 13, 2011

To: All

I once again woke at 3.30am and unable to get back to sleep so I thought I'd research N+ and it's possible side effects as an answer to my mood changes, insomnia and general irritability that I have been blaming on menopause. After reading many of your responses I know now that I am addicted to N+. I don't take as much as many of you confess to (probably 5 - 7 per day) but it is enough to have the horrible side effects if I don't have them. I started taking them probably 5 years ago for back pain and have gradually increased to daily. I crave and use them to settle my anxiety which is only a tempory measure.
It has been great to read a lot of very honest and brave peoples posts. I will stay posted and let you know how I fare with kicking this ugly habit.
Love and warmest thoughts to all.

phoenix82

Aug 16, 2011

To: everyone suffering from this addiction

Hi i am a recovering addict from N+.Ive been in recovering now for 4mths and i want everyone to know you can overcome this.It is the hardest thing i have ever done but also the best thing.I was an addict for 3yrs,i gave it up alot of times even including an 11 day stay in detox yet within 6wks i was back to where i started.Everyone kept nagging me to give up for my 3 beautiful kids,even my 2 eldest knew about my problem and begged me to stop but it just wasnt enough to make me stop.It made me into someone i wasnt,i never left the house,hardly showered or looked after my personal hygeine,i did what needed to be done with my kids but beyond that nothing i should of been doing as a mid-twenties mum.I tried lots of ways to kick the addiction but the thing that finally made me do it was i wound up in hospital almsot dead from my ulcer which perforated my stomach therefore causing stomach acid to pour all over my internal organs.It was the worse pain i have ever felt (including childbirth).I was rushed to surgery where they cut me down my abdomen around 5 inches long and repaired me.Even after that i was still at risk of dying due to internal bleeding.I was put on bedrest for 4wks and even now 4mths later im not completely healed.I was told the pills were causing an ulcer and that it could eventually kill me but i always thought that wont happen to me.But it did and finally i had a real enough reason to make me quit because i was going to leave my kids without a mum.I hope that all of you can quit before that happens to you.

Calidore

Aug 16, 2011

Somehow I know I will never go back to being addicted to it. I used to take maybe three a day but it went up to 20-30 to beat depression. Never again. That sheer dread of having to go cold turkey or give up something you love so much is enough to keep me off them regularly and realise that I don't love it as much. The expense and the being secretive and the damage they do are all factors. I associate sitting dosed up in bed after work with a bad time in my life, there's no way I want to think I'm back into that again.

louisa218

Aug 20, 2011

Hi there - new person posting

I've just found out that my husband has been taking 2 packets of N+ a day.  He's been lying and stealing my money to get the pills.  He has bipolar disorder and has extreme anxiety which he says the pills get rid of.
He wants to get off them and I want that too particularly since we have a very young baby boy.
Any advice on getting off them?  He has been to the psychiatrist who has referred him to a 'drug team'.  It feels like I'm married to a 'drug addict' and it's not nice.  Hoping they will help him but we've been told it may be a week before they are in touch!
He's been taking the medication for probably about a year but has been on and off them for 10 years after a DOCTOR told him to take them for headaches that he was having which turned out to be due to stress.  We went back time and time again and the Dr just kept telling him to take them!!  So irresponsible!
Has anyone had experience of this level of addiction?  Has anyone had input from a 'drug team'?

With Love
Louisa

perch101

Aug 20, 2011

To: louisa218

Hi Louisa, sorry to hear about your troubles. Please remember in all of this that as you have a newborn baby, you need to take care of YOU so you can look after your baby.... sorry you are having to go through your husbands troubles at what is already a challanging time! (even the best behaved baby is still so much work and so tiring!!)

In order for your husband to get better he needs to REALLY want to be free from the pills. Not because he's been caught taking them, or stealing money to buy them.... HE needs to really want to quit them.

When you say two packets a day - here they now come in boxes of 30 - do you mean he's taking about 60 a day? At my worst I was taking about 35 a day - 60 is a lot but not unheard of. That amount of ibuprofen will kill your stomach though and cause all sorts of digestion problems, and possible blood disorders, or even stroke.

I know in the past, I tried to stop for my partner and for my family...... Unfortunately, despite best intentions it does not work like that. I did a residential rehab in the end and learned that in order to get clean you yourself need to get to a point that you want to get clean more than anything. I now have nearly 2 years clean so it can be done!

If he is coming forward and wanting to get well and HE is initiating the 'drug team' and trying to stop - thats good news.

Out of curiosity, I've never heard of a 'drug team' - I am in Australia though - what does a 'drug team' conist of?

I do feel for you.... it is hard enough having a new baby let alone dealing with this. You are a good person for sticking by him and trying to help him get better.

Remember, the doctor who told him to keep taking them probably thought he was taking them as directed. Also - the codeine in the N+ does mask anxiety symptoms - perhaps he can go to a good doctor who can treat his bi-polar and anxiety to a point where your husband dosen't feel the need to self - medicate with N+?

Uncontrolled anxiety can ruin your life - so that and the bi-polar may be why your husband may be swallowing handfuls of N+....

I'm sure that other regulars of this supportive thread will be along to offer advice and support too.

Hang in there - it really CAN get better if your husband wants it enough. Also, please keep in mind that you and your new baby are number one at the moment - you need to take care of yourself so you can take care of your baby.

Best wishes,
Perch

louisa218

Aug 21, 2011

To: Perch

Thanks for your support right now it really does help.  I'd normally talk to my mum about all this but she's terminally ill with a brain tumour! The little one is now 18 months and is a handful! so it's good to find an outlet.
Thankfully it was my husband who told me how many he was taking after asking to go see the psychiatrist alone (we usually go together as I help and support him as much as I can).  I'm not sure what the drug team are or how they'll help but I will let people know so that they can get this support if needed.
I'm in England and yes they are sold in 30s here too ... so yes 60 per day ... His speech slurs and his short term memory is terrible.  I HOPE these are the only symptoms although - you know men! I just hope he'll be able to get sorted out.
I hope he is ready to give it all up as our family needs to be strong together right now.
We are Christian people and rely on the strength that God gives us to get through each day.  However tough live seems to be right now I'm not done loving yet!
Thanks again and will look forward to reading any other comments or suggestions that others may share.

Thanks
Louisa

perch101

Aug 22, 2011

To: louisa218

I am so very sorry to hear about your Mum :-( Times are indeed tough for you right now.....

It is GOOD news that your husband has initiated his recovery... this really does make a difference because his need to want to change and overcome this addiction needs to be strong... It does sound like he wants to be better.

When I was abusing them my short term memory was affected... I didn't slur my words though but I was taking about half of what your hubby is so maybe thats why... When he's clean I think you will see a marked difference in him.

Please take care of yourself.... I know your husband needs help and it's great you are standing by him (in sickness and in health hey! Hopefully you will get the health soon!) but you have so much going on yourself ..... your dear Mum so sick... you have a baby....(18 months is a real handful!) your hubby has his bi-polar and now addiction...... Get any support you can. You can google al-anon in your area.... they are a free support group for people who have people close to them battling addiction. They can really help in ways you can't even imagine - because it will be full of people going through what you are with your husband.

I can totally understand you not wanting to burden your Mum with this at the moment - do you have a girlfriend or another family member you can confide in? It does help talking about it. Otherwise a counsellor or psychologist can help ....

Also... another good idea is to copy and paste your original post and post it in the addiction-living with an addict (I think its called?) forum, have you checked that forum out? It's pretty new....

When your partner is an addict - you want to do everything to surport them stopping the addiction and nothing to support it continuing (which it DOES sound like your doing) so yes, tough love is often needed. It can be easy to 'enable' an addict with out even realising it.... is he still on 60 a day or has he tapered down, or even gone cold turkey and in withdrawal? Or is he wating until he has assistance from the drug team?

Some people can taper, but most addicts find it hard (can always find a reason to pop a few extra) and go 'cold turkey'. There are things he can take to make withdrawal a bit better... but unfortunately coming off that level of codeine taken each day is going to be uncomfortable and unpleasant. A good GP can prescribe something appropriate to help... but some of these can be addictive in themselves so need to be taken short term and under careful supervision of a doctor....

Does he have any stomach issues? The level of ibuprofen taken each day will cause ulcers, heartburn and more. It caused a stomach ulcer for me and that and much worse for others who have posted on this thread.

Hang in there....I'm sure other regulars on this thread will be along soon...A lot of them wont check the thread for a few days...In the meantime I'm sending prayers for you and your Mum....... :-)

Calidore

Aug 25, 2011

Hi Louisa,

I don't want to say much while your husband is receiving treatment except to say that I am happy as Perch said that he has looked for it himself and I think this is a good sign and means he is on the road to recovery. It is likely that the amount of pills he has been taking is causing many of the unpleasant symptoms he has been experiencing, and due to the addictive nature of the drug also generating a short term relief when he has felt the need to settle his nerves each day.

I took a large number of pills, about 30, a day for about eight months and only stopped when I developed an ulcer that started bleeding and becoming life threatening. I got back into it after the ulcer was treated and over time the ulcer returned, but I have stopped taking them regularly and have found my mood and temper have improved a lot. I think when taking them I wasn't giving myself real rewards in life and was really mildly depressed as pills were all I wanted to look forward to. Likewise I think your husband will be much happier once he has got over the physical withdrawal and is able to spend more time engaging in constructive activities. Sounds a bit like jolly hockey sticks but I'm sure you'll both be fine once the 60 pills a day are not hanging over your life like a cloud.

Cali.

AnniePhD

Aug 28, 2011

I quit nurofen plus 1 week ago today. Was addicted for about 10 months, but did quit a few times the first few months. Since January I it just escalated, and the last month I took 20-30 pills per day. I am a pharmacist and I KNEW BETTER, but it was just out of my control. I think its terrible that its so easy to get these highly addictive pills just by going to different pharmacies every day, most of the time without showing ID. I'm from a European country where the equivalent drugs can only be obtained if you have a prescription. Shortly after I moved to Australia 1 year ago, I got a flue and was offered these pills from a colleage. Few weeks after I found my self taking them even when I didn't need them,

Have been under a lot of pressure at work recently so I was taking about 30 per day, until last week when I went to a birthday party and had a few drinks. Stress, alcohol and the pills caused my body to shut down. I threw up, felt weak, had severe pain in my stomach the following days and got really scared. So I decided to quit once and for all. Was the toughest week of my life. In order to cope with the withdrawal I bought cough syryp with codein, which does not give a kick like the pills, but removes the withdrawal symtoms (symptoms). And now I'm off the cough syrup as well. Feeling better and better and have been to a doctor to deal with my stress, anxiety and depression. He prescribed me oxazepam, which also helps with the withdrawal a bit, and calms my nerves. Didn't tell him about my codeine addiction, though. I feel so ashamed, and nobody knows about it!

Read an article about a woman who died due to kidney failure because of nurofen plus. The ibuprofen is very dangerous in large doses - causes stomach ulcers, damage to the kidneys and increases the risk of stroke. I just hope I wont fall back into this downward spiral ever again, but I know it is so easy...

pump88

Aug 28, 2011

I didnt realise this was such a common issue. I have been taking N+ for 5-6 years since i broke a bone, but have continued to use it daily (15-20 tabs a day). I found it calmed me initially, then progressively I didnt feel i could face the world etc without taking them. I have tried twice to stop, the agony of the headache and body pains were so horrible, I went straight back to them. Hiding them from friends and family. I swallow 5 at a time, around the same time each day, regardless if any pain or not. If I do have a headache or bit of a hangover - then i increase and include valium and phenergan.

I have no idea how to stop this. Obviously it cannot be good to do so.
For those who have experienced intense agony from not taking - please please suggest how you began/ tried/ succeeded/ reduced quantity.

I still cant believe there is a forum here that expresses exactly how i feel.

louisa218

Aug 30, 2011

The drug team have now been in touch with my husband and he has an appointment with their doctor in two weeks time. However I was very shocked to hear that they want to put him on METHADONE!!!! Isn't this a drug to get people off heroine?????
They have said that it is another opiate and although I realize heroine and codeine are both opiates I'm dumbfounded that he could be put on such a powerful drug to get off N+

It's really hit home today how massively dangerous this addiction is.....

Louisa

cerebrus

Aug 30, 2011

To: louisa218

Sometimes the medical profession has a preferred treatment option that they defer to rather than talking through the other possibilities. If you or your husband are not happy with him going on methadone - and this does seem an extreme step - ask to talk through these other options.

From your reading of this group you probably know these already; the three ways to get off codeine are:-
1. Cold Turkey.
2. Taper off your codeine dose, preferably with prescribed codeine rather than the N+.
3. Substitute the codeine with another medication and taper off that.

On the last point, there is an alternative to methadone called Subutex - or Suboxone or just Subs. This has far less addictive tendencies than methadone and would be worth asking about if the addiction team want to substitute your husband’s codeine.

Many years before I became a codeine addict - now on day 65 without codeine - I had a serious road accident and took Subutex (then called Temgesic) for 10 months for pain relief. I had no idea that these pills were for anything other than pain relief, never got a buzz from them and stopped taking them when I no longer needed them for pain relief, with no withdrawal or side effects. Temgesic are a lower dose form of Subutex but defiantly worth asking about.

And, in dealing with medical people, I learnt three things from spending some time dealing with them when I was younger – certainly the good old NHS; always talk to your doctor from a position of knowledge rather than just put yourself in their hands; doctors are just as fallible as the rest of us and medicine is not an exact science; and thirdly always ask if there are other or alternative options available in addition to the treatment they are recommending.

Good luck and all the best, Cerebrus.

butler3131

Aug 30, 2011

To: Everyone!

PLEASE READ, THIS IS ABOUT AN ORGANISATION STARTING DESIGNED TO SPECIFICALLY DEAL WITH ADDICTION TO THESE TABLETS AND THESE TABLETS ONLY!

Hi,

My name is Lee Butler. I’m 30 years old and I was addicted to the Nurofen plus type tablets for almost 2 years. At the peak of my addiction I had been taking 52 tablets a day, because of my addiction I spent a total of 8 weeks in hospital, I lost a fantastic job and I ruined my relationship with the woman was due to marry this year ( September 24th to be exact!)
I have 2 duodenum ulcers, 2 gastric ulcers and I have lost 11 stone of weight in the space of 18 months.

Everything started after I had a month or 2 on Codeine Phosphate tablets (30MG)
I was taking them for knee and back pain prescribed by my doctor. I used to enjoy the feeling I got when I took them. I started to stop taking them during the day, my pain was going really quickly anyway so I wouldn’t of needed them to get through the day. So I used them just in the evenings, “to help me relax” I would say to my self, 2 a night for a week then up to 4 then 8 etc, up to the point that I had taken the entire 100 tablets in less than half the time I was prescribed for.
As I knew I was not going to be prescribed the Codeine tablets again I started to look online for the ingredients of over the counter tablets, I knew I didn’t want to take co-codamol because I knew paracetamol was very bad for you if you took to much, so the Nurofen Plus, Cuprofen Plus and Solpodine migraine.
I started on 10 tablets at a time, I actually felt it gave me a much better feeling than the codeine on its own, I felt happy, talkative I felt like the most motivated person in the world, I could do anything if I wanted too, or so it felt.
Eventually the amounts that I was taking started to go up, a full sleeve of 12, up to a 24 pack, then after a while the 32 pack, eventually a 32 pack AND a 24 pack seemed to level out and that’s the amount it stayed at. Buying them was a nightmare, eventually all the chemists started to recognise me. 12 separate pharmacies in my area, I used to visit them all at least once a week. I rarely got questioned, and if I did I just said I was on Diclofenic and Codeine normally and I was taking the Plus tablets as I wanted to remain on pain killers but take a lower dose, pretty much everyone I said that to commended me on my common sense!
Only 1 chemist an indipendently run family company banned me from buying the tablets from them with out my providing a note from my Doctor confirming what I had told them, of coarse they were never going to get that note, so I could never go back there.
The money I went through in that time was crazy; I was spending nearly £13 a day, that’s about £390 a month! Eventually I started to get in to trouble with money, my debts were building up and I was making later and later payments on my financial commitments, I always had money for the tablets though! Eventually I lost my job, at the time I was convinced my boss had gone out of his way to have me sacked because off being ill, the fact was I was doing everything to myself, and the being sick, the losing weight, looking ill, feeling ill was all my own doing. I ended up working in a bookies earning minimum wage, but still buying the tablets, I would find myself short of money for the last few weeks before payday and I would find myself doing stupid things to get money to buy tablets when I couldn’t afford them!
I used to nip round to my parents house, tell them that I needed a spare tyre on the car could they loan me XXX, I needed to pay my Milkman for the last X number of weeks, could I borrow XXX and I would give you the money at pay day etc, eventually that stopped when paydays came and went and I still couldn’t afford to get them the money. I eventually found my self selling my stuff at cash converters, the spare telly, DVDs and unwanted Christmas presents all went, all to pay for my addiction.

Now the problem for me was not that I didn’t know I had a problem, I knew damn well I had an addiction to these pain killers, I just really liked the feeling I got when on them so I didn’t want that to change, I had the opinion of “yea im addicted, but I also bloody like it so im not bothered”
One day my family confronted me about my problem as they knew something was up, my moods where all over the place, one day I would be on top of the world, singing being hyper and OTT and the next I would hate everyone for everything! My Sister organised a meeting at Drug line for me to see someone there and talk through how I could get of the tablets. We went to the meeting and I genuinely was going to give it my all, the fell explained that he was a former addict so he could give me first had accounts of how hard it was and what he did etc, however he was a Heroin addict, nothing he said to me sounded like my problem at all, they way he came of his Heroin and his experiences were nothing close to what was required for me, I asked to speak to someone else, they used to have a drinks problem, again, I couldn’t not relate to them, so I asked for just a normal person unaffected by an addiction, someone who had been to Uni and worked hard to learn all about how to deal with us etc, the “doctor” spoke to me and I soon realised that she would be no help at all, she wanted me to have acupuncture to help with the pain, go to meditation classes and other methods to help with pain rather than tablets, again someone who didn’t understand why I took what I did, there was no pain, I just enjoyed the feelings I got when I was on them, the pain I felt when I was withdrawn from them I knew was associated with withdrawal symptoms. I eventually quit drug line as 1, I didn’t believe that they could help me and 2 and this is the biggest reason, I didn’t see my self as a drug addict, I was taking tablets you bought from over a counter in a shop! Not drugs bought of a dealer; I often caught myself looking down at the people at drug line trying to help me because I didn’t see myself as anything like them!

Eventually through necessity, as in I had to come of the tablets or I would die!
I managed to come up with my own way of getting of them, there’s 2 ways to do it I though, compete cold turkey, or a phased, gradual lowering of the numbers. I have tried both methods, and failed before with them, however I managed with the support of my family managed to phase the tablets TOTALLY out of my life!

I’m a 30 year old man who has taken these tablets to an extreme and suffered terribly at the hands of them, however I am a 30 year old man who has managed to put all this behind him and is rebuilding his life.
One of the ways I am doing this is by setting up a group, a foundation if you will to help people with addictions to the Plus type tablets, using my experiences, as well as help from others from similar back grounds along with funding from the local council will soon be offering help to anyone who wants it, be it ether the addicted person in there quest to get clean, or even for the worried family member or friend who needs advice, be it what to look for IE, the way they act, the ways they will hide the tablets, or the boxes, or the ways you can work with your local pharmacist to make the supply difficult ETC.

The group will be going live within weeks, however in the mean time if anyone wants to get in touch with me, please do so via email to ***@****

I apologies about the length of this post, however I wanted people to know that 1, there is some where starting that is there to specifically deal with your problem and 2, the person who is starting it has been through one of the more extreme addictions and come out the other side!

butler3131

Aug 30, 2011

Having just seen that my email address does not post on here, please send me a message via the PM service and i will send you my email address,

louisa218

Sep 01, 2011

How are people coping with the shortage of supplies after N+ has been withdrawn from sale (in the UK) My husband is suffering terribly as he can't find another substitute apart from in Boots and we only have 2 locally he takes two boxes a day so from tomorrow he's stuck ...

Anyone know when they will be back on sale?

Louisa xxx

Calidore

Sep 01, 2011

To: louisa218

Hi louisa,

Well, i guess a lot of people must be having the same problem and Boots will be getting quite a few new customers. I personally am not suffering too much as I am limiting myself to just a few pills at weekends, but I guess if I was addicted at the moment I'd be using the interruption to taper down a bit.

I'm sure they will be back soon, however.

Cali.

butler3131

Sep 01, 2011

To: louisa218

If you are certain you need to get "your fill" cuprofen plus are the exact same ingredients as are Solpadeine Migraine Ibuprofen & Codeine Tablets.

butler3131

Sep 01, 2011

To: louisa218

Oh and so you know, both products only come in a maximum of 24 per box, perhaps this would be a great time for your husband to try to phase down, i was on 2 boxes a day and i have managed to clean up and stop taking them, if your husband wants any advice, please message me, i have a goverment funded group starting in a few weeks time dedicated to helping people with our exact problem, i would love to offer help to your husband.

avon35

Sep 03, 2011

To: Butler1313

Hi, was just wondering what country you are in?

Good luck, it will be good for you if you can turn your bad experience of drug taking into a positive expeience that helps others in similar situations.

avon35
x

butler3131

Sep 04, 2011

To: avon35

Im in the UK, from Preston in Lancashire to be exact.
I just want to help people who have suffered the way i have. I lost everything that was worthwhile in my life because of these all to avalible tablets. Theres plenty of help for people suffering from addictions to drink, class A drugs etc, however not even drugline at the moment can really REALLY help people addicted to these tablets, of corse drugline with disagree with that, but i have been under them for help and it did not work, the advice they gave my family to catch me out or notice tell tail signs etc were all wrong, and the more and more i read the more i know that with my help and experience, along with the Doctor i have working with me, we CAN help you!

Calidore

Sep 04, 2011

To get off this stuff is not hard. You taper down for a week or tow and quit solid for a week then You can take them again at intervals, as you used to.

And believe me, you will feel as good when you have kicked them as you felt bad when you were kicking them.

Believe me, the drug will rob you of your feelings for real life, just realise it's the drug that makes you feel crap, not life.

Maratara

Sep 08, 2011

To: All

I haven't been on here in a while (posting that is), but I have been lurking again .....

I came here a while back to try and stop the Nplus, and I did manage almost a month, but then I started using Tramadol for the WD's and then I started back on the Plus, so I was on Tram AND nplus, lol! I got some lectures about the tram before, but a friend of mine has been getting boxes and boxes of tramadol every month, and she has been giving me a box all for myself every month: free.

So here is my current situation:

I am now on DAY 2 of NO nplus.....and I take 50 g of Tram in the AM, and another in the afternoon/evening. I am trying now to stabalize after giving up the Nplus (i was down to 2 pills twice a day before I stopped, and I STILL feel kinda ******, even with the Trams and a small bit of marijuana I got for weaning myself off!) This Nplus stuff is really heavy duty for me, I can't believe how hard I find it to stop taking it, makes yer body feel so good, and then SO BAD when ya stop!
ANyways, I am going to just ride with the tram and marijuana for the weekend, but starting next week I want to start weaning off the Trams. I am at 100g a daY, but my problem is that I only have 100g pills. I want to wean, but not sure I can really do it with these pills. I have about a months worth of tramadol left, only about a half-weeks worth of weed, so I think i can do this, just not sure HOW i should go about it.

Thanks for any suggestions....and sorry for all who are struggling, I have to admit I was a bit gobsmacked when I saw certain names back here saying they had relapsed as they were all off the pills the last time I was here!!

M.

Calidore

Sep 08, 2011

To: Maratara

Hi there, I have just been googling tramadol and the wikipedia entry makes it seem pretty scary, but a lot of Internet sites just report worst case scenarios as if they were commonplace so it's perhaps not as bad as it seems.

However, I would counsel that if one is trying to lead a normal life then one has to limit self medicated or recreational drug use to a couple of nights a week and try to keep at least four days and nights free of all addictive and stimulating agents. Since I have made this my aim in life I have found a lot more willpower and am developing a good routine during my nights off where I get a decent night's sleep almost as soon as I turn out the lights. It is somehow much easier to kick the habit if you think only four nights to get through than if you think only day four of the rest of my life, oh what a huge task I have set myself. Also these four nights clear out your system and you actually feel healthy and satisfied during the day which is definitely a good thing. Less than a year ago I was drinking half a bottle of vodka and taking at least sixteen nurofen plus a night and life was just an aimless sludge until I started getting ulcers one of which eventually started bleeding leaving me in hospital, so I stopped taking them for about a month until I encountered a setback and was on them again until about two months ago when the ulcer returned and I had to see the doctor and cut the pills out again once more. Since then I have taken a few boxes but have not been addicted and am much more active and doing more and seeing more people.

I am not sure that I have the perfect long term solution, because I still feel compelled to do something at the weekends, but should I ever need to drop the hedonistic lifestyle for reasons of money or relationships or health, which will probably be the case in the future, I will be much more capable of doing so than I was back two months ago. For me it is the realization that I cannot escape the need for a few nights drug free every week if I want to have any form of engaged lifestyle at all that is sustaining me. I have sort of admitted the limitations of myself as a thinking, feeling machine and am living within those limits and am not altogether unhappy about it.

I just thought about it in terms of hours....just seven hours more and then another day will begin and I will have completed another day off. I found that about three weeks of breaking up my addiction and living normally was enough to sort of implant it in my mind that a certain amount of healthy living was how I wanted to live, and I still feel the same now.

With best wishes,

Cali.

Maratara

Sep 09, 2011

To: All

Well, I am nearing the end of Day 3 no Nplus, still on the trams, still smoking the little bits of hash and weed I have left.

I am really hitting bottom :(

MY boyfriend just dumped me.....it was a fairly new relationship, but I liked him and I feel gutted. THe only good part is that now nothing is stopping me from going Cold TUrkey as of Monday. I am down though, like really down.......I am kinda scared going cold turkey off the tramadol will just push me into a sadder state, but I want to stop. I am so unhealthy, I have gained a LOT of weight since I started the Nplus 3 years ago, and I really want to get back into a healthy life....but I am here again at rock bottom.

Calidore

Sep 09, 2011

To: Maratara

Good lass, you are in the pits. You must get active again to lose weight and regain confidence. As quickly as possible join the local walkers club, the book group, the fitness or martial arts groups. Go to local pub nights, open mic, Gaelic theme, trad theme, whatever, just don't waste time withdrawing over months, just taper down and go out instead of sitting in taking pills.

This is the best way, it gives you a chance.

Cali

avon35

Sep 09, 2011

To: Maratara

Hi,

I know how you must be feeling. That - 'My life is useless, boring etc etc'. And knowing that it is going to get worse over the next few days not better. But remember its only the first 7 days that are REALLY bad, then it starts to improve each day, and you are half way to day 7! Don't give up, you will only have to start again another time and do you really want to go through the past few days all over again??

Sorry to hear about your relationship coming to an end, this is not easy at the best of times. Hang in there, those feelings of doom and gloom will be gone in a few weeks. On a positive note (I always try to make this a positive when I give up), you are probably going to the toilet non-stop which will lead to weight drop in the next few weeks, maybe a kick start to the thinner, healthier you!

Thinking of you and everyone else trying to quit these evil pills!
avon35 xx

snare2

Sep 10, 2011

To: butler3131

Hi Lee,

I havent been back to this site for some time.

Making excuses I will stop when this is done or that is done or when I have more money blah blah blah

I started these pills 2 years ago, just a few a day and now back on 32 per day.

Got stomach problems, IBS, my skin has small very itchy rashes, I have spots on my scalp that weep and itch, and its all down to ths Bloody N+.

I know I need to stop, I have been nervous about the withdrawel, the not knowing, wether I would fit etc.
My life is **** being on this stuff and if anything could go wrong it goes wrong due to the healthy negative attitude this brings. Yes the same as you, I feel good, and I,m not really an addict cause its over the counter, I,m ok!! Ha!!
I am now taking the Boots brand Ibuprofen and codiene, same as N+.

Its madness, I am traveling miles to get these things everyday. My moods are extreme as you explained. My life and attitude is all over the place and yes I need help and support to get off these damn things.

The tablets as with any other mind altering drug has me completely deluded into thinking I am not as bad as anyone else and all will be ok.
But there is still a thread in me that scares the hell out of me when I truly look at what I am doing. I,m killing myself!!
I woke this mornng with bad stomach pains and wanting to be sick. Thats happened half a dozen times in the past year. I used to have mild IBS. Now I have it big style and the pain is incredible

My relationship has gone, my business is suffering, and lots of other "Not Good" things in my life.

Can you send the site address you have started? Spell it out pheonetically on here like Nurofen.... at....dot... co . uk

I will be there like a shot, I want off this stuff but I know I cant do it alone. I need support and to talk too
Thanks

Maratara

Sep 10, 2011

To: Avon35 and Calidore

Thanks to you both.

I am now on day 4 no Nplus, and I am still smoking the green and taking 100 tramadol a day. Today I have taken only 50g of tram, and want to see if i can start clawing it down, day by day, to nothing.

I appreciate the comments and hope others keep posting.

I still feel really gutted over the guy, but I know I am not happy withmyself right now anyways, I have to get OFF these pills and start facing reality.

I will try a walk later on, all I did yesterday was eat cake and toffee and sugared myself into a coma nearly, lol....but no Nplus! Just have to keep focused.

Good luck to all :)

Ps: welcome back Snares, sounds like you are ready to stop killing yourself. Glad yer here.

butler3131

Sep 10, 2011

To: snare2

Hi, please email me at butler3131 AT yahoo DOTCOM
from there i will give you a number to contact me on and we will take it from there.

Medders76

Sep 11, 2011

Hello all

I am in london and have been addicted to nurofen plus for about 3 years. At best I take 16 a day, at worst 32. I am desperate to stop but suffer from terrible cramping and sleeplessness which i soon give into. and to overcome these two symptoms I believe will really help me to stop, thanks in advance for your help

nomore104

Sep 11, 2011

To: Everyone

Hello all,

I had been taking N+ for around 5 years and while I never got up to the levels of some people on here, it was a sustained and steady need of the drug. I have constant back pain due to several issues and someone recommend it to me years ago.

It took away the back pain and something else. I have an anxiety disorder and while I am on medication for that somehow the codeine made every issue I ever had go away. I wasn't shy anymore, I could talk to strangers, in fact I couldn't stop talking when I had just taken a couple of pills. I felt euphoric, the best ever, I was happy and calm and could deal with any situation. In fact I seem to be the opposite of many people on this site on the pills. My IBS disappeared, I wasn't anxious, and I could focus on projects I needed to do and I felt no back pain anymore.

However all these feelings would only happen 30 mins right after I had taken the pills and then would disappear an hour later. I would be left with sleepiness, dullness in my head, no energy, but still anxious free. I started to notice i needed to take the pills more often to reach the euphoria and I would get nervous when my stock would run low.

I knew after a few months of taking it regularly that I was addicted but they sold it over the counter and it was worth it for that high right? But after taking it for several years I realised I no longer felt good and I just needed to pop that pill in my mouth to make myself calm down. I was sick of having no energy, being tired all the time. I even convinced myself that these symptoms were nothing to do with the N+ and went to the doctor to have a full blood test done. Nothing showed up. I knew then that these pills were draining me of my vitality.

4 months ago I faced the scariest prospect, going forever without my pills. I had to move to America and I didn't know when I would get back to the uk and my N+. I took as many boxes as I could with me, but right away I had to racion myself which my body and mind didn't like. The phsycologial part for me was the hardest. I would look at all those pills and think why can't I have some more?

It took two months to get off them completely and I very slowly cut down on the amount each week. By the end when I was just taking two pills a day, I would hardly think about when I could take another pill. I would take one N+ pill and one aspirin for a placebo and that would really help to calm my nervousness about the lack of pills.

When the last day came and I had no pills left and I didn't know when I could get back to the uk, I didn't care at all. It was the best feeling in the world to know I beat it, no more would I have to worry about getting to the chemist before it closed or did I have enough on me when I went out for the day.

It took the absolute removal from the drug from my life completely with no hope of getting more, to get me off it, but it worked. Cold turkey doesn't work for everyone and I know I never could have done it that way, I tried before and never gave up. Sometimes it takes the slow removal.

I know I won't relapse because I know I won't ever have a chance to give up like that again. I'm back in the uk and have stayed away from the drug and if I feel pain in my back or an urge I just take aspirin. It was a hard slog but I just want to have some energy again and not live from dose to dose.

So if some people are suffering from the recall of N+ out there, use this as your absolute removal from your life and start to wean. I always felt like I had made a great step even when I cut one dose out of my day.

Maratara

Sep 11, 2011

To: Medders and Nomore

Welcome Medders,

I am 5 days off the Nurofen plus now, which is great, but I am still taking small amounts of tramadol (50g today so far), and smoking some weed (which is about to run out, lol)....so I will know more how I am going to be after everything is gone out of my system. Good luck to us both and I will check back in here to see how you are doing.

Nomore: Congrats! I loved Nplus for the exact reasons you do---it really is my fav pill. Sadly, I too have been taking them daily for about 3 years, anywhere from 4 a day to 12 a day during that time. I am now on zero for the last 5 days, Thank God. I am working now on coming off the substances I used to get through the withdrawal.
Thanks for sharing your story.

helplessness

Sep 11, 2011

To: Everyone

Hi there,
This is my first time posting anything on a forum. Just a bit of background of myself. 3 years ago, I knew I was addicted to N+ as I was taking 72 a day and I will go to alternative chemists just to get my 72 pack off the shelves before 2010. Now, I'll at least need 2 packs of 30 handy with me to survive a day. I too tried to stop, but I just can't bare the withdrawal symptom. I even hated myself for not being able to stay off them and I will cut myself as purnishment. At the same time as I realised that I was addicted to N+, I was also dignosed with depression. May be that was the reason how I started taking N+. Initially, till now, whenever I take N+, it made me feel relax, less anxious, be able to cope with family and work more, but the downside is I feel sick for the whole day. I always need to vomit,felt like there is a huge air bubble in my throat that is waiting to come out but cannot, I feel very tired, all I do when I'm not at work is sleep, sleep and sleep. I have no motivation to do anything else. But I really really do wanna get off this. The money that I spend on them are getting out of control. Can anyone help?? There are so many good advise here, but I'm just so scare to start. What can I do??

Thank you too all that read this...

Maratara

Sep 12, 2011

Hi Help,

Well, I seem to be the only one withdrawing at the moment:

Currently, I am day SIX with NO NPLUS (yay).

I am however smoking weed and still taking small amounts of tramadol, which I am also coming off of this detox. I have only taken 50g of tram in the last 16 hours, and I am only to take another 50 now and hope I can stretch the next dose out even further......

I am grateful to be getting through this.

As for advice, I am not sure what to say Help....You ought to try and start cutting down the amount you are taking for sure. That is a LOT of NPLUS to be taking on a daily basis, your insides must be screaming. There are some people on here that have ended up in surgery to fix their insides after taking similiar amounts to you.....so that would be my first goal. I got my Nplus dose down to 2 a day before I totally stopped it. I used regular ibrofen as a sub for one of the nplus pills for about a week as well, helped get the amount down. I did have some sweats and the usual WD symptoms, but nearly as bad as the time I tried before when I went cold turkey--that was hell.
I got some weed as well, and for me, that has helped.

I wish ya luck, hope yer ready to rejoin the land of the living.

M.

cerebrus

Sep 12, 2011

Hi Helplessness, Agreed, Its really pants being addicted to N+ but you have already made some important steps to remedying the situation. You know you have a problem, you're asking to help and you're wanting to stop, That’s grand.
Don’t rush into this but take a little time to come up with your plan for stopping. As is often said on this site, you’ll probably need to put as much effort to breaking your addiction as you did to maintaining it. Can you ask people around you for help - friends and family? I talked my addiction through with my wife, which was a great relief to me and to her. For her it explained my behaviour (exactly as you describe) and for me it made my addiction something I could talk about rather than being a dark secret. I also went to my GP who gave me two weeks of sleeping pills for when I went cold turkey and also ran some blood tests to see what damage I had done to myself. Seeing you GP is also a good time to ask him about addiction counselling services, which could be another part of your plan to stop.
What I also wanted to talk about was depression. After I had been addicted to N+ for a year or more and got to the point you describe – taking them more to cope with how rubbish I felt so I could get through a day rather than for the euphoric feeling they used to give me. I became pretty low and went to see my GP about this. I did not mention the N+ and he put me on antidepressants. This did not make much difference and I stopped taking them after 9 months. Taking the N+ made me very depressed; my self esteem drained, I achieve very little and shut myself off from most things. Ironically, for all the euphoria codeine brings, as this wears off between doses codeine can be a major contributor to depression. That was probably the thing that motivated me to stop.
When I did first stop taking N+ this really hit home as the lows I experienced between taking each dose of N+ became permanent. I had two weeks of strong anxiety attacks, really low moods and over sentimentalisation. Almost anything would upset me and I’d often feel my eyes watering up. However these feelings did start to ease over time and have done so ever since. The big thing that helped me was the knowledge that these symptoms were effects of the codeine withdrawal not a permanent state of affairs. I also kept a short daily diary for the first four weeks and would read that when things got tough. It was not a step forward each day but reading back over the days and weeks showed me how far I had come. For me my addiction to codeine was to manage the depression the codeine brought me to. Being codeine free has been the best way to treat my depression.
So good luck, come up with a plan and if you want more help with the depression side of things please feel free to ask. All the best, Cerebrus.

helplessness

Sep 12, 2011

To: Maratara

Thanks for your comment. I had already been in hospital for bleeding uclers. So really don't want to ended there again. But I just don't know how to start reducing.

helplessness

Sep 12, 2011

To: cerebrus

Thanks for your comment.

I don't have anyone that can support me through this. When I told my mum 2 years ago that I got depression, she told me recently that I had put her through hell these 2 yrs, and she really had enough of it. Where for my friends, they just think you can stop it just like nothing had happen. But the reality is, you can't. Well, at least I can't. They just don't understand.

cerebrus

Sep 12, 2011

Hi Helplessness, I understand about friends feelings. I have not told any of mine with the expectation that they would not understand. Without being an addict yourself it is difficult to relate to the situation we are in. So its time to do some more research on the internet for groups that will understand. You found this group - and I remember the relief when I first found it to know that I was not on my own - so look for addiction services in your area. These people will be non-judgemental and provide understand help.

If you are happy to see your GP then go and talk to them. If they don't take you seriously or tell you to just stop taking the N+ without providing any further help then try another GP. From other posts here many are good. Also remember to ask them about other groups they can refer you to – addiction councillors especially - and can refer you to other local addiction services.

If you are not comfortable to talk to your GP, start with local addiction groups and ask for their advice.

Again, the fact that you are on this site and trying to stop taking N+ is a very positive. By not giving up on giving up you can beat this.
All the best, Cerebrus.

codeinechick

Sep 13, 2011

To: All

13 days no pills. It's not the physical withdrawals that are hard, it's the thoughts in my head that tell me I can't cope/succeed in life without the pills.
What do you do when you're body's over the withdrawals but your mind tells you you need pills?
Any suggestions?
Codeinechick

Maratara

Sep 13, 2011

To: ALL

I am now 7 days off the Nplus, but am still taking small and ever-smaller amounts of tramadol. I am now about at half of what I was taking a week ago, and think I might be off it completely by week's end. The only crap part now is that I really feel like ****, lol. I thought I might get out of it with no real symptoms but sadly, no.

I am smoking the last 2 joints I have, and then after that, I am REALLY into the last stage of my detox. I have today now: headaches, runny nose, feel funny, etc......will just have to hang on and hope I can keep going.

Codeinechick, congrats on getting to where you are. I hope you can read the stories of those here who have ruined their health using too much Nplus and hopefully gain some needed mental strength from that, also, prayer and gratitude lists can help.

I can't really type much more today, I am feeling pretty rotten, ot the worst feeling at all, but just YUCKKKKK,

anyeasyway

Sep 13, 2011

Brave of you to admit you have a problem. That is sometimes the hardest part. I used to take roughly the same amount as you. Tried cold turkey loads of times but failed each time. I would apt-stain for up to 5 days but the relentlessness of the never ending withdrawal always led to relapse. It is very difficult to go CT from such a high dose.

I thought that tapering would be very difficult until I tried. You should give it a serious try. The one important thing is not to come down too fast. You didn't get addicted overnight and you will need plenty of time to recover. There is no quick fix. My advice is taper down slowly, even if its only 2 pills a week.

When you start to see your intake decrease it will give you new confidence and determination. You will start to feel better about yourself. You will get back your self esteem that you thought lost forever.

When you get down to about 15 pills CT is then possible. I found it was only possible if I had a little supply of valuim. Just about 50mg to see you through the first couple of days. Days 2-4 are the hardest. Get to day 5 and you are practically free.

Another helpful hint. Stay in contact. Keep posting on this board just journalling the way you feel.

Good Luck

Beemee

Sep 13, 2011

To: Calidore

Hi ive been on this stuff for along time ...it was an accident at first....in the beginning the hip,back and neck had mee in tears but after taking these ****** things it was absolute blessing to be able to go like a bat out of he'll without pain ....but addition took over and now there a killer of the person I once was ....x
My problem is yes once again I'm coming off CT but the pain in mee is overwhelming sure I can deal with the withdrawal part and I know it well it's the physical pain ...I recon I've done my injuries worse and now I'm at a complete catch 22... Mind u im not taking them day 5 and shore I'm **** but its the neck whicis the worsed,walking aroundwitha wheat pack..
Did take 2 plain nurofin is this also just as additive to the body
I'm an addict and was completelyfree for 14 years the n+ brought mee down and now well things are no what they seam but this ismy only vise
Or dead addition..thank to all that are on here this is truly another deadly addition regardless of why you take it in the first place x

Maratara

Sep 13, 2011

To: all

Ok, so today I am now only on 50 mg tram, yesterday was 75g, so I think I am just gonna jump off......I have one small joint of hash left, and that's it!

I also have sleeping pills for the remainder of the detox.....so I think now is the right time to just ease into full sobriety. I have deep headaches today, but I have been able to eat well, still type, read, etc.....I am not too bad at all, although the next 4 days might be a little harsh, at least I am now a week off the Nplus, which is awesome. I want to be OFF of all this stuff, I really do, it was a blast while it worked, but it no longer works for me. I wanna be healthy, wealthy n wise, lol......

Thanks to all for the help and supprt, hope others find the willingness to start back on the road to wellness too.

M.

Maratara

Sep 14, 2011

To: All

Ok, it is now 11 am on Wednesday am, and I have been off Nplus for 9 days, and I am now FREE of Tram for nearly 24 hours......(and I smoked my last joint 12 hours ago as well, so I am totally off em ALL)

I am pissed though, I ordered a whole SLEW of vitamins and they haven't arrived as yet, really *****.....but I don't feel too bad, not yet anyways.

Just going to take things one day at a time.....and be vigiliant about not taking anymore Tram or Nplus: I want OFF the pill-train. It has cost me money, health, and probably a couple of relationships too if I am honest.
I want my health back, I am so out of shape!

Hope everyone else is doing ok.....I feel worn out and won't be venturing far from the toilet today (bit of the runs), but other than that, so far, so good.....just hope I don't get worse today, but it's possible I will.

M.

Maratara

Sep 14, 2011

To: ALL

I am still rollin....all clear of drugs except I took a bunch of LOMITOL yesterday and it was like heaven, good thing I don;t have any more, I liked it so much lol.....it soothed every writihing nerve on both ends, but I didn't sleep, so today might be a bit rough, but so far, so good.

I really thank God for this "window of Grace", this small slice in time that I actually had the willingnessto stop taking the Nplus, and also had the time and private space to do this detox.

One day at a time, hope everyone is doin Ok

M.

Han1974

Sep 15, 2011

To: All

I am kiwi girl battling in secret my shameful addiction to n+.
I am closing out my 4th day now free of the dreaded n+.
It's been very hard going ct. I too couldn't taper.
This was my only option. I just couldn't face another trip to a chemist knowing that tomorrow or the next day I would have to ho through it all again. And the lying at the pharmacy. I just reached a place where I couldn't bring myself to do it anymore . I have been hooked on these things for almost 5 yrs. Crazy!!!
I often wonder how and at what Point I lost my life to these nasty pills.
So as I said it the end of day 4. It's been rough. I am a single mum with full care of 3 children two of whom are special needs. I think the difficulty of life is what drove me to seek relief from the hard reality that is my life. I am hoping soon I will be through to the end of the week from hell.
Any suggestions? Help... No one knows what I'm going through and I feel so alone
Hoping against hope for a better future and the strength to get me there

Maratara

Sep 15, 2011

To: Han1974

Hi Kiwigirl,

I am sorry you have so many others to care for during your detox......I am lucky I was alone, but maybe seeing innocent children can help with reminding that life can be beautiful without Nplus.

Four days is awesome, I am now on Day Nine I think (I got mixed up yesterday, lol). I have been using all kinds of stuff to try and dull the withdrawal, but I think I just made it last twice as long ;)

There are loads of posts here from different people, try to read back at least a few pages if you can......but in the end I think the main deal is just to STOP TAKING THE PILLS......and YOU have done that already, which is brilliant.

I hope some more folks will chime in as I am not the greatest example of how to detox, haha, sorry, I am still half-wacked on the bag of tricks I used to get here, but I am very grateful to be free of the humiliating trips to the chemists, the money, the worry about running out......and it feels GREAT to imagine myself fit and healthy again someday, free of the chains of NPLUS.

You are doing really good.....keep checkin in!@

M

Han1974

Sep 15, 2011

Thankyou!
Day 5 for me now. My tummy is still bad. Anxiety levels through the roof.
Restless legs at night and ofcourse real dufficulty sleeping. Some mornings I wonder how on earth I will find the strength to get my precious kids ready for school. I am finding myself unable to work or really do much of anything right now. I feel terribly tired , heavy in my body. It's hard to get up and down the stairs. I am weak as a kitten because I have lost my appetite. I just can't seem to stomach the thought of swallowing food.
Yr right my children are so amazing and they deserve to have a healthy mum. I will keep going and hope this will get easier.

You have done well. Regardless of the way you got there you have made it 9 days without any n+. you have achieved something that only a short time ago probably looked impossible.

How long is it before you are really through and clear?
Anyone?

traceyk76

Sep 15, 2011

To: han1974

hi... im from perth oz... a single mum,my youngest with an intellectual disability...about a year or so after he was born i started to take N+... only a couple at night, when the kids were asleep...with in 2 - 3 years i was taking 60 pills a day... 20 each time...3 times a day... could not funtion with out them... tried to reduce many times...but every time i had a mini crisis( which was almost daily) i'd binge... ant 2 attempts at the turkey...i'd cave after 3-4 days... im now on methadone-have been for 18months-2years...altho i've been reducing that for the last 5-6mnths & im only on a very small dose of methadone now & probably ready to stop completely with in 2 weeks.... i understand the shame that comes from this add...from hiding it from ur fam & friends, the going to different chemists to buy them& so on....i am very fortunate that i have'nt suffered any of the serious side effects that so many others unfortunately have...
you've got nothing to lose & everything to gain...u just gotta do whatever it takes to get off... all the best tk

Han1974

Sep 15, 2011

To: Tk

Thanks for yr response
And the encouragement . Reading yr stories and knowing I'm not the only one stuck in this nightmare really helps.
Has yr treatment been something you would recommend?
I don't know much about it.
I am finding today really hard. My stomach cramps hurt badly and I don't know what to do with myself. I've had thoughts go through my mind that is this it? Life without n+ ? I feel quite low.
And doing any ordinary chores are so hard to complete as my strength has deserted me.
Is there a point where you leave this hellish stuff behind and truely feel normal again?
H

traceyk76

Sep 16, 2011

To: han1974

Hi H
i can only say that the methadone has been the only thing that truley got me off ofthe pills...but in saying that-- i still am having to go through wd's now as im coming off of the methadone....although i defo am finding mthn wd's are more bearable than the N+ wd's...but remember that i still am on a very small daily dose of mthn....(hopefully only for another 15 days) in all honesty-i wish i could have just been able to get straight off of the pills without having to go on the mthn program....its not easy having to go to a chemist or mthn clinic every single day for maybe years... its hard to have a job & be able to get to your dosing place daily or if u decide to go or stay anywhere thats not close to where you need to dose... but you have made it this far... which is further than i got, so your doing awsome...just remember for everything that you do right in life it is only because you've done it wrong first...

avon35

Sep 16, 2011

To: Han1974

Hi, what you are feeling is completly normal for someone at your stage of withdrawal. I am talking about, very low energy, depression etc etc. I have found that after 4 weeks withdrawal you are completly back to normal, being able to sleep, no depresson, have loads of energy back etc etc. Usually by about day 8 you will stop the toilet trips, and the restless legs stop. By day 14 you will have 50% of your energy back and will slowly begin to have more sleep. By 4 weeks you will be sleeping normally, have pretty much normal energy levels and have lost the depression.

Hang in there, each day is a slight improvement. The first 7 days are the worst.

To answer your question, "Is there a point where you leave this hellish stuff behind and truely feel normal again?", the answer is yes. I know when I am going through withdrawal I could not care less if my house burnt down, but these feelings pass, and i am telling you that by one month you will be feeling great. Have you noticed that a lot of people post for the first 1-4 weeks and then stop posting as much? This is because they don't feel the need to be on this forum anymore, they feel free of N+ and are now enjoying their lives. This will be you too.

Hang in there, you are doing great. It is so worth it. Keep going.

Thinking of you. xx

Maratara

Sep 16, 2011

To: Han1974

Great to see some others chiming in :)

I am now on day 10 of NO nplus, day 3 of NO Tramadol.....and I have stopped taking anything else like marijuana/weed 2 days ago as well :)

Yesterday I took a few LOMOTIL and my Lord, it really gave me a great boost for the day! Soothed me on BOTH ends, haha.....but today I do feel a bit sweaty and kinda yuck, so , as with everything else I took, I think you just postpone the inevitable withdrawals! It feels good to be OK without the pills though.....but I know I too am in early days, like you Hans, so we just have to accept that there will be pain and discomfort for the first month---but like Avon says----it WILL END, we will BE OK, and we are going to make it!

I am just cleaning today, getting everything all done as I have to attend a family gathering this weekend, so I need to be on as good a footing as I can. I have NO ENERGY today really, so it feels like a HUGE chore to even get myself into gear, just one thing at a time.

Good luck this weekend, try and use the tools that have been recommended: vitamins, electric blanket, bandages on legs, plain ibprofen/paracetomol, sleeping pills, etc etc.....

I will keep you in my prayers :)

Han1974

Sep 16, 2011

To: avon35

Thankyou! Its so good to hear from you.
I cried reading yr post to me. Every single word was exactly what I needed to hear . You've really encouraged me!
Thankyou.
It's hard to believe there's life on the other side of this right now.
I'm day 6 today. I guess I feel better than I did on day 2. However I am waking up in the small hrs with the runs and it's so bad I know this is gross but it's like a water faucet has been turned on!
The cramps still there and hurting. My appetite is still non existent so my energy levels are so low. I'm finding it hard to explain to my kids why mummy still doesn't feel so good.
I really look forward to leaving the terrible anxiety behind and please god a normal sleep pattern.
I don't think I could have gotten this far without all the people who have gone before and told their stories.
And to my friend m , I will be thinking of you too and hope that you manage to get through this weekend
Han

avon35

Sep 17, 2011

To: Han1974

Well done, day 6, good on you! Just think its all upwards and onwards for you, you are past the worst days now. Don't worry too much about your diet, you will eat when you need too. I did the same and lost heaps of weight, with the constant toilet trips and loss of appetite, I think I went about 8 days with practically no food.

Don't worry about your kids. I too am a single parent and I always worry about my kids. But kids have short memories when they are young and are very forgiving. Better to have a sick mum for 1-2 weeks than a drug addict for a mother? Thats the way I always look at it. Soon you will have heaps of energy back and your kids will love their 'new' mum!

Take it easy on yourself over the next few weeks. Don't stress if the house is a mess etc. It won't hurt you to get behind in the chores, just save your energy for when you need it, to care for your kids, apart from that, put your feet up for another week. You can catch up on the house chores when you feel better next week.

Just remember that what you are feeling and going through is completely normal for withdrawing off N+, and you WILL feel great in a few more weeks.

Hang in there, you're doing great and should be proud of yourself, thinking of you. xx

lvinglifeonrightside

Sep 17, 2011

Hi Ms. Codeine!. I sure know how you feel. I spent about 5 years with the same feelings and would have an almost immediate sense of well-being and relaxation after swallowing a handful of the pills. The truth is it took me until I was able to take 35 to 40 10/325 Norco pills daily until I realized this cycle would never end. If you aren't familiar with the Norco..it is basically one of the strongest opiates on the market. Here in the USA we don't have the N+...I only know of it because I travel regularly and couldn't believe that I was able to buy it over the counter without a script in the UK and Australia. I would go from store to store until I had 100's and 100's of the pills. I would use them to get me in between scripts of Norco to keep me from withdrawl (withdrawal). I won't bore you with anymore of my story..My point for writing you is to ask you to truly make yourself take a look down the road to where you are heading. Your body is like mine and all the other people that God so wonderfully made..so you will build a tolerance up with each pill you take...it will take more pills to get the same feeling tomorrow. You will get to a place where you seek out a stronger pill. Unless you stop now, you will end up taking more and more and more. There is no way around it. It would be good to go ahead and imagine the worst possible scenarios that you can imagine taking place in your life if you continue down the path of addiction. If your married...you may lose your spouse. Boyfriend..you may lose him...job, you may lose that as well. I don't want to say much more other than to warn you the true danger of staying on the drugs. You may feel you can deal and manage this and you could be temporarily correct. Please set aside the time you will need to quit. I pray for your well being. Just be honest with yourself and your condition. God bless you and I truly wish you the best in trying to live your life soon without the drugs.

Calidore

Sep 17, 2011

Can't get the bloody things in England any more, they're all withdrawn and Boots has run out of their own brand. Just when I've got a massive streaming cold and could actuallly do with some for real. Should help a lot of people break their addiction though.

Han1974

Sep 17, 2011

To: avon35

Hi again
Thankyou for yr support
It means alot
Limping now into day 7. But day 7! Wow.
I'm hanging on to every word you say...and can't wait to be the new me...thanks for the advice and for yr thoughts

Han1974

Sep 17, 2011

To: Anyone

Help day 7 and feeling pretty rough.
When will I turn the corner. I don't know what to do with myself!

Astray

Sep 18, 2011

To: Han1974

I was addicted to the accursed things for 10 years so I think I can guess what you are going through.

If you are still having stomach problems, have you tried taking imodium (immodium) or other OTC anti diarrhoea meds? That really can help with those very unpleasant symptoms in my experience.

The insomnia is usually the last acute withdrawal symptom to go away unfortunately. Valerian can help to a degree and you can get that from health food shops, avoiding the need for any risky trips to a pharmacy. Your sleep will gradually get better though, honestly.

Not knowing what to do with yourself is perfectly normal for this stage too, you will have become used to doing everything under the influence of the pills, doing anything will feel like a huge effort or pointless. I don't know if anyone else has mentioned this but exercise, even a gentle walk, can be a great help. Generally, doing just about anything is better than doing nothing as your mind will tend to obsess about your situation if you are inactive.

If you can tell even one friend or relative of your situation, or better yet join a support group in your local area that will greatly increase your chances of staying clean. It is far too easy to relapse if you are without support and everything is still a secret.

I know it is hard to believe but you will soon be over the worst of the WD symptoms, you will soon feel much better so hang on in there!

Calidore

Sep 18, 2011

Join a group of any kind, walkers, film, book, tai-chi, anything to get you something to look forward to. I know it's hard to give up, I needed various attempts and in the earlier ones was just still completely into the pills, just not taking them.

I'm glad I did give up, after a few days without they're not nearly as nice to go back to. Make you feel quite incapacitated and worthless.

Han1974

Sep 18, 2011

To: Astray

Thankyou
I can't tell you how much I am hanging onto the support from thus site to get through.
Day 8 today.
Yes still bad tummy
Sleep in half hour bursts through very rough night
Restless legs still
And that horrible hungry but can't face eating weakness.
I feel wired. My body or brain still sending me messages like now is the time to take some n+. it's so hard!
It scares me the thought that that is never going to be an option again.
I really really look forward to being a normal person!
Help!!

helplessness

Sep 18, 2011

To: Han1974 and everyone

I found this site where they provided a very good preparation list to go Cold Turkey: (http://www.codeinefree.me.uk/phpBB2/viewtopic.php?t=1725). I had copy and pasted here.

So this is how we can do it.

Shopping List:

Sundries:

Ibuprofen tablets
Rehydration electrolyte powders*
Antacids for heartburn
Multi-vitamins
Lavender oil and lavender bubble bath
Bottle of spray disinfectant
Vaseline
Lots of super-soft toilet rolls (infused with aloe vera if possible)
Wet-wipes/baby-wipes
Packet/box of tissues
(Nicotine patches)**

Food & Drink

Bottles of water - still, sparkling, flavoured; whichever you prefer, but tap is best!
Fresh juice
Chamomile teabags
Tonic water***
Sugar or honey to mix with chamomile tea (some strange people actually enjoy chamomile tea 'straight' but for me it truely epitomised horses wee without sugar  )
Fruit ice lollies
Porridge oats
Prepared fruit salad in bite-sized chunks
Small pre-prepared meals that can be heated quickly - read through http://www.foodandmood.org/ to get some ideas.

*Rehydration electrolyte powders (2-3 boxes from any chemist) - these are rehydration powders which, when mixed with EXACTLY the correct amount of water, replace essential body waters and salts after acute diarrhoea.

**Nicotine patches (or similar) - if you are a smoker you may well feel too unwell to smoke for a couple of days so, to prevent you having withdrawal symptoms from both the codeine and the nicotine, slap on a patch in the morning and you can forget about it for 24 hours. My symptoms were reduced by a third when I finally made the connection and foraged for a nicotine patch during night two.

***Tonic water - some say the quinine flavouring helps them with RLS (restless leg syndrome - see here for more info and advice.)

Other things you will need

Hot water bottle
Several pairs of warm, soft socks
Several pairs of clean, warm pyjamas - you will be changing at least once or twice per day in the first 2-3 days.
Magazines, books, CDs, DVDs, puzzle books - try not to choose things that will get your adrenalin pumping. Your concentration levels are likely to be low for a couple of days so choose things you can dip into for brief periods.

Bedding:
Several clean sheets
Several light blankets/duvets
Lots of pillows and clean pillowcases
You will sweat a lot!

Book at least a week off work, longer if you can! Even though you will start to feel gradually better after day 3 you will still feel as though you're recovering from a strong dose of flu so you'll be weak and emotional, and you may suffer insomnia as your body comes to terms with all it has been through. If you have a carer who plans to help get you through they will also need to try to take days 1-4 off work. If you're unable to take this time as 'holiday' you should feel not one iota of guilt about phoning work on day 1 and saying you have flu and cannot as yet give any clear idea about when you'll be fit to return but that it could be up to 10 days. They will have a much better employee when this is all over.

Try to make yourself as self-contained as possible on days 2 and 3 (when it peaks) so move everything you'll need into one room.

I spent the time on my sofa which was covered in pillows and light blankets as I was hot one minute, cold the next, so I could take off or add a blanket as needed. There was a table next to me that held my drinks, book, magazine, telephone, TV remote control, wet-wipes for wiping my face and neck when I felt sweaty, tissues for the random sneezing that came from nowhere (!).

Sleep as much as you can during those first couple of days. You will probably not want to do much else anyway because, for two days, you will feel like you've been struck down by really unpleasant flu (HOLD THIS THOUGHT! Flu can last 2-3 weeks; this only lasts - at its worst - 3-4 days!!!). So sleep, sleep, run to the toilet, sleep, shower and sleep some more.

I was lucky enough to have my sister-in-law here who cared for me and my two children...and her one year old, and her unborn baby! (I'm not able to say here all that she has done for me because it is still too emotional to talk about and I need to stay strong. Suffice to say, I feel as though she has literally 'saved me'). On days 2 and 3 she had to do practically everything for me. Now, on day 8, those two days have quite a blurry, 'distant' feeling for me because you start to improve quite rapidly after that and it seems like a fading nightmare, but my point is that it helps a LOT having somebody there with you all day, all night, for those first few days. However, it can be done 'solo' too, so don't be afraid, just prepare yourself as much as possible beforehand for every eventuality

You will almost certainly get diarrhoea within 24-48 hours of cutting out codeine. It's not nice but it's really important because it is a sign that your body is clearing out all those dreadful toxins. So get prepared!

DRINK LOTS OF WATER! You will recover faster if you manage to keep your body and mind well hydrated and nourished, and this doesn't just apply to the diarrhoea; all your symptoms of codeine withdrawal will be eased if you keep your body's fuel topped up. You can take rehydration (electrolyte) powders during this period to help with this but please remember that each sachet has to be mixed with exactly the correct amount of water so don't guess.

You need to make sure there is a bottle of spray disinfectant next to the toilet along with a tub of vaseline and plenty of soft toilet paper. Each time you flush the toilet spray around the inside of the bowl with the disinfectant; it kills any germs and it helps prevent smells. After a while you will notice the dreaded sting so wrap a double sheet of toilet paper around your finger, dig into the vaseline and gently apply just inside your bottom. Gross, but really soothing.

One other thing I wanted to mention is that I am a horribly weak-willed person who has tried and failed to quit smoking for the last 20 years. I have an addictive personality, OCDs, depression and bi-polar. And yet even I found the strength to quit codeine because it was ruling my life and slowly disconnecting me from the world and my loved ones. Even just 8 days after quitting, my appalling constipation has vanished, my apathy and constant exhaustion are no more, my dizzy spells have gone, I can actually wake up to an alarm clock now and I'm eating regularly again because I'm actually hungry - in recent months I have lived on codeine, tea, cigarettes, the odd packet of biscuits and an occasional meal. My poor body thinks it is Christmas! Oh...wait...  Most important of all for me, I am actually picking up the telephone when someone calls because I'm no longer feeling disconnected from everything and hiding myself away from the world.

That's everything I can think of for now but I'll add more stuff as it occurs to me and I'd be really grateful if the amazing users of these boards can think of anything I might have missed, or if any advice I've given is contradictory to safe practice. (You don't know me because I've felt unable to post anything much, but I know all of you. You have got me through some of the darkest hours I've ever known on nights 2 and 3 and I will never sufficiently be able to thank you all enough.)

Lastly...keep www.codeinefree.me.uk saved to your Favourites! Over the coming days you will find yourself coming here often for support, advice, suggestions and hugs

Thank you all from the bottom of my heart for the part this community has played in helping me quit codeine.

You CAN do this!

helplessness

Sep 18, 2011

Conitnue on from last post

[edit] Things subsequently remembered and wished to add:

1. Short of Breath/Panting.

You may notice you are panting rather than just breathing. This is perfectly normal and is just a reaction to what you're going through, so just go with it. My 'panting' lasted for 2.5 days! Wierd...

2. Weak Moments Later On.

"Break Glass Incase of Emergency!" - this coping strategy was given to a dear friend who was helping her partner off a terrible heroin dependency 25 years ago. Before he went cold turkey he was given drug counselling where they told him about the "Emergency!" strategy. It basically means that even when you've been clean for 2 weeks/a month/6 months you may still have sudden moments when you feel close to the edge - panicked, frightened, weak, tempted. You arrange a group of people you can immediately contact for support when this happens - I arranged mine three days ago because I know I might be feeling great now, but I'm also aware I could have a crisis in the future that makes me wobble.

3. The Shivers.

Fruitloop has just reminded me about the 'shivers' so I wanted to add this info here (take heart from the fact that I had already forgotten about this aspect of early-ish withdrawal after only 6 days). You can probably expect to feel very shivery at times so just be prepared to add more layers and top up your hot water bottle. This is also a good time for the horse wee....sorry, chamomile tea! It really does soothe you despite the fact your head is telling you it's Hell's own brew!

4. Insomnia.

Insomnia can be a problem when you start to feel better after day 3, which is why I think it is so important to allow yourself more than one week off work to recover. My insomnia started on night 4, just as I was starting to feel better in myself, which seemed really unfair! For the next three nights I paced the house as my restless leg syndrome went into overdrive (twitching, aching, frustrating muscle spasms which only worsened when I was horizontal). I would eventually keel over between 4-7am only to wake up again a couple of hours later.

By the third night I was so frustrated and so 'scared' to go to bed incase it happened again, but I just gave myself a talking to. I said "you're exhausted but you're still alive, you're still functioning, your brain will eventually just conk out, even if it takes until tomorrow afternoon, so just go with the flow." Accept you're probably not going to sleep, plan how you're going to fill those hours, follow all the basic rules for insomnia sufferers (there is good advice here ) and try to remember that bed is for sleep so if you're fighting a losing battle, get up. Don't let your brain start associating your bed with stress and frustration.

I finally fell asleep at around 7am sitting upright on the sofa and without even being aware that I was starting to drift; I just remember waking up again a few hours later with a stiff neck. Anyway, last night, which I expected to be my 4th without sleep, I actually drifted off beautifully at around 1am while watching TV wrapped in a duvet. I can't tell you how great I have felt all day because of it.

If your insomnia persists despite trying all the advice found in the above link, see your GP. Ask for only enough sleeping pills to get you through the next couple of nights so your body can rest and your mind can strengthen itself, and hopefully re-establish your normal sleeping patterns. Do not despair during those long, dark hours! You're not going to die from lack of sleep, and you will come through it, with or without your GP's help.

5. Mood swings.

Mood swings are something we all have to deal with as we rid our bodies of codeine, or, indeed, any drug. You will probably find yourself crying more than usual, and at the sillyest things! I cried a LOT when reading this site during days 2-3, but it was 'good' crying because it came from a feeling of solidarity because, knowing these people were going through the same as me, at the same time, gave me such a lift - I was too emotional to actually post anything on here until I was nearing the end of the first week...but I read everyone's posts constantly. Nobody else really understood what I was going through.

I also got angrier than usual. Angry at me for allowing myself to get into this situation. Angry at the children for bickering. Angry at my wonderful sister-in-law for making me eat to keep my strength up. Angry at my beloved mum for being away on holiday when I needed her most. Angry at my ex-husband for making me miserable enough to need to 'mask' my true feelings with codeine (six months after he left, and with me appearing to cope brilliantly, I had a breakdown at work. A colleague helped me upstairs and I remember lying on the floor in a ball, sobbing, when she handed me a glass and said "drink this, it will help"...and it did, for a small snapshot of time, until I had to take more to replicate the false feelings of wellbeing...2-3 years later I was taking large doses of prescription codeine daily and using every trick in the book to get my hands on my next repeat prescription sooner).

Loneliness is another factor which may come and go, especially when you are feeling at your worst. Even if you have the best family and friends in the world they cannot truely understand what you are going through. It was finding this site on the morning of day 2 that alleviated that for me and I kept it open 24 hours a day for 3 days so it was there when I needed it most.

All of this is such a natural and normal response to what we are going through. The codeine may have been successfully masking your true feelings for some time and they need to come out, but also, your body is going through so much in those first few days - of course you're feeling dreadful, sorry for yourself, lonely, tired, achy, tearful! The important thing here is to recognise it's completely normal and to let it all out.

This is where your family and friends come in. Even if just one person is aware of what you are going through, and supports you, you will have a built-in support network. I coped with the two worst days (2 and 3) by sleeping as much as I could, but when you start to get better on day 4, and need less sleep, you may find that this is when your emotions start to become hightened (it's also when you'll start smiling again though!) so make sure your support network is aware of this so they can step in and reassure you how wonderfully you are doing...and remind you that this is a temporary state! I'm on day 10 now (day 10!!) and I'm pretty much back to normal, apart from a general feeling of weakness typical of someone who has had the flu, say. I started to feel like 'me' again late on day 4, so since then has been all about getting my strength back and dealing with mood swings as they arise.

The best advice I can give if you're feeling down is to get out and get some fresh air, even if it's just for 10 minutes. When you get back, make a hot drink, top up your hot water bottle (for comfort), put on some soothing music...and come on here to vent!

Hope this will help. I'm about to go cold turkey too...aimming to do it coming friday.

Han1974

Sep 19, 2011

To: All

Thankyou !!!
The support you give is ENORMOUS
It's helps. It really does help
Got through day 8...... Just
Tomorrow has to be a better day :)

helplessness

Sep 19, 2011

Last Wednesday, agreed with myself and my psychiatrist that I will go for cold turkey on 23rd September 2011. Taking 72 daily, will that work? The past weekend, I tried cutting down to 54 on Saturday to 24 on Sunday. All I could do was laid in bed. But with my mum knowing nothing about my condition, I got told off on Sunday for lying in bed. I'm finding it so hard. I can't tell anyone, not my family, not my friend. Lucky I got here to talk about (in tears). But because I'm from Sydney, Australia. I go online when everyone are offline, this seems to make it hard. Today (Monday), I took 36, sweat so badly when I was having my dinner at home. Try to avoid eating any hot/warm food at work, as it will make me sweat so badly. I'll try stay on 36 till this Thursday, and go cold turkey on Friday. Dunno how I can do that at work, but worst come to worst, I will start on Saturday. But then, I'll only have 1 day to withdraw before I go back to work. How is that going to work??????? I really hate this feeling... I just wanna cry... I just wanna cry............

anyeasyway

Sep 19, 2011

First of all there is a big difference between 72 and 36 pills a day. It is very hard to do CT from 72 pills.I tried many times but always failed. It is much easier from 36. That is still 450mg of codeine per day.

You said you had the help of your psychiatrist. H/she could make it a bit easier for you. Have you discussed the use of benzos eg valium for anxiety,
Zimmervan for sleep to get you over the first few days. One thing you do not want is to get addicted to benzos! If you think kicking codeine is hard its a walk in the park compared to getting off those things. But they do remain very effective when used short term.

Ask him about using a sedating anti- psychotic such as Seraquel. Be sure to drink as much water as you can.

Last of all good luck. You have made the first big decision in trying to give them up.

Keep posting

traceyk76

Sep 19, 2011

To: everyone

Hi all..
Han-how amazing to see u've made 8 days free,I wish i had your strength,I could never make it past 4 days...are u feeling as though ur on the otherside of it yet? What a wonderfull achievement...

So many stories of success on this site... along with the stories of the tragic side effects caused by these pills-scary! If only i had found this site 2years ago...having some support & the knowing your not alone would make all the difference in kicking this addiction for good...To walk into a GP & say "hi Im Tracey & Im a train wreck-I take 60 pills a day" was almost impossible....but after failing a few attempts of cold turkey & reducing only worked up untill there was some type of mini crisis & then binge...there was no other option...methadone program & now 2years later (& no N+ for at least a year) I am now going through pretty much the same thing...I've been reducing my mthn dose for about 6months now & I have 10 days left on the program & my dose is so small at the moment,so for the last month i've been going through the same W/Ds(although not as sevre) as I did going cold turkey off of N+...
So to everyone who managed to get off of the pills, I admire you & your strength...and to all who are in the process of getting N+ free-keep going & hang in there...and to everyone who posts on this site-your info & comments are so valuble & supportive...Cheers TK

Han1974

Sep 19, 2011

Hi there
Thanks for yr encouragement.
I am day 9 now no n+.
yesterday was a very very hard day for me.
I felt awful... Weak..hungry .. Sick and I had a family crisis with my kids to sort out. I cried on and off pretty much all day.
If someone had stuck a packet in front of me I would have swallowed them down.
But... Somehow.... I made it through.
I got some more imodem for my tummy and some herbal kalm tablets.
I actually slept last night. Today I feel the closet to my normal self since I went ct.
I don't know if I'm through the worst for good but I will hang onto this day smiling because it's such an improvement .

Good things since stopping
I no longer look pregnant ! My old flat stomach is back.
I have saved myself alot of money
I am not worrying about where I will need to go to get my next lot
I don't hate myself everyday for taking them
I'm no longer promising myself daily that I'll cut down or stop and then breaking that promise and feeling so bad
I'm not freaking out and scared out of my mind about having to face going cold turkey.... Because I've done it
I went to a chemist yesterday and for first time in a long time didn't buy n+

There's alot of good things there
To balance out the parts that are hard

Keep going everyone. We CAN do this.
We have to!

To traceyk ... Yr a strong woman. You've been through such a hard journey. You are not far now from the finish line. You can do it.
Keep on keeping on

jeshuron

Sep 19, 2011

To: To Kiwigirl

Honey I too am a kiwi. I have 6 children and lots of business in my life. I want to encourage and join with you as I am tapering off them as well. Although I have only just discovered them about 2 weeks ago I have more than enough years of addiction to other things to recognise the danger of these nasty things. I think a lot of it all is to do with the huge commitments we have as mums and parents. I briefly felt they n+ gave me energy, but boy that didnt last long.
Today is the first day I have logged on to this site. So God bless and will keep you in my prayers as you and I become free......Jeshuron

traceyk76

Sep 19, 2011

To: han,jeshuron

han- to be able to wake up this day & not feel the hatred & guilt for A)taking them....B)the breaking the promise to urself that u'll stop...C)the fear of going ct....must be true joy!!!... mine is stained with the fact i went to a substitute--although I know that it is almost over--- im looking forward to feeling that joy--without the stain!....thankyou with the strength of 10,000 mountain goats....
jeshuron-with ur experience of addiction & the fact its early days with N+...save urself!! even read some of the posts from previous pages-they've shocked the s**t outta me,even after years of being addicted to N+...some scary info on here-...I'd like to think that if i had found this forum when i was in my early days, that it would have scared me straight! All the best to you in your journey....

helplessness

Sep 20, 2011

To: anyeasyway and all

From Sunday 36N+ to today 48N+, dun think I'm any good at tapering... got this guy at work annoys me so much that made me wanna take a whole pack of 30N+ in one go...but I didn't, because it was end of the day of work already. But tomorrow, will have to see him again....how annoying...

Friday, a day that I agreed to go CT, but will it work? Friday, I still need to go to work. I can't see a way around not taking any N+ and be at work and there is no way to call in sick...another long story.

Seems whenever I'm typing how I feel I always wanna cry. why I ended myself this way? what is wrong with me?

To anyeasyway, thanks for your comment...my psychiatrist had given me prescription for valium, and I'm already on Seraqual. I gone off once without him knowing cause I gain so much weight from it, but I had promise him that I will go back on them just to be CF.

Just want to see what ppl thinks, will Friday be good to go CT while I must be at work? or should I wait till Saturday??

traceyk76

Sep 20, 2011

....i understand the no go with reducing... esp if u've got stressfull situations to face on a daily basis...how the hell u manage to work or anything else while u take sereqel?? they make me fall asleep in my dinner!! Im not really in a position to give an opinion on reducing or doing the turkey as i failed failed failed both of them a few times,unlike a lot of the other guys on here-i admire their strength....the only thing that has worked for me was to substitute to methadone....how ever i do believe that having a plan makes a big difference... Failing to plan is planning to fail!!! you've done great to go from 75N+ down to 36/48N+ in les than a week- I honestly dont think it would make much difference if you do the turk on fri or sat? as you probably wont get the more sevre w/d's until 3 or 4 days in?? and u'll be at work then?? thats tough hu? there's no way i could have been able to work going ct.... i feel for u, but everyone is different i guess...I wish you all the best...and i be thinkin of u....

Han1974

Sep 20, 2011

Hi there )
Thanks for yr kind words . It is so amazingly helpful to have a place that we can be honest!
My fellow kiwi girl, I will def be thinking of you
Hopefully it won't be so hard for you stopping so soon.
I'm so glad you've seen this site before years have gone by.

Life as a mum is hard. As a single parent sometimes the load feels to heavy and despair is often lurking close by.
Hence the addiction. It numbs the pain, anxiety , despair.

I am just thinking one day at a time right now.
10 days today!

I had a crappy night last night sleep wise.
The restless legs! Awake most of the night.

But otherwise I am improving a little bit each day.

It's hard but not impossible!
This site is a life saver
We can do this. We have to .... The alternative option is so so bad.
Be strong , you will be in my thoughts and prayers too.

Han1974

Sep 21, 2011

To: Helplessness

Hi there
I keek thinking about you. I could weep with you right now.
It's a scary place to be. We need to get you a new name! Because you are stronger than you ever know! Inside you somewhere (even if you can't feel it now) is a deep strength that will help you free yrself from this horrible hole.

Know that you are important and loved and valued and needed.

Is there anyone that you feel you can talk to?

I have read about other people seeing their gp and swapping onto codeine only and tapering down from there with help. At least it will put the breaks on the brufen damaging yr body.

I agree with TK that you need a plan.
Read the post I was sent about the essential things to have stocked up on at home.

If you do stop on Friday maybe take yr last lot fri am. Then stop... You will be ok until fri night when yr back home.
Then your very worst days will be sat sun.
If you have Valium etc that might help?

If only you could take 2 sick days mon and tues?

I don't know how you will choose to stop but it seems that at some point something either frightens us so much into stopping or the reality if life inprisioned to n+ is untenable... Impossibly hard to sustain.

The desperation to be free over rides the desperation to avoid pain.

I wish I cld give you a big hug and at least reassure you that yr not alone.
I will think of you as HOPE! There will be alot if people hoping for freedom for you on here and support.

jeshuron

Sep 21, 2011

To: Tracey

Thanks for that warning. I agree. I couldnt believe that this was such an enormous thing. I am trying to taper down but not that succesfully. But yes its good to log on to this site and these people who are brave enough to talk about it. I have made an appointment with an A and D councelor too. Might be quite good having someone face to face.Yes and truely it is only 3 weeks ago today that I tired this for the first time. Bless ya heaps aye...Jesh

traceyk76

Sep 21, 2011

hey j... that is progress my friend... it almost feels as though i have had a win, by u making an app...a problem shared is a problem halved...so take a load off! As hard as it is to actually say it outloud to someone- u'll sure feel lighter when u walk outta there.... I see that even your post today is much more positive than yesterday & the day b4....even read up the page a little.... How inspiring to see Han's progression in a week? She's transformed from total desperation....to just making it through the day... to being able to see the otherside...to actually being on the otherside even if it is only early days & she is now able to hold her hand out to support the ones like us who aint quite there yet...many thanx to H- It really is a feel good moment...It gives ppl hope...and that is all we need to keep us going, is the hope...
You will be able to get through this,as I have plenty of hope for us all
tk out...
P.S- 3 weeks today? "they" say 21 days to create a habbit...ur timing could'nt be any more perfect than now

helplessness

Sep 21, 2011

To: Han1974 and traceyk76

Thank you so much for your comment and support...meant so so so much to me!!

For some reason, I had taken a lot more today than the past few days...I think I took 70N+, really crazy. I always tend to struggle to stop, not because I worry about my health, for a matter of fact, its because I never want to live, I always want to take more and hopefully I can die earlier or sooner. But because I need to be responsible to my cat, I can't die yet. So I'm taking these N+ to harm myself, to slowly kill myself. But when I was in the hospital last month for 4 days, my cat was angry/upset. Because I wasn't home for her and seriously, it is getting too costly.

Don't ppl found life is so hard? If there is something that I take which can make me feel more relax and block every bad feeling...y not take it? But is all these bad feeling come from these N+ or from my inner self? I don't know what is it to be normal, I had lost myself completely.

To Traceyk76, I take the seroquel XR, which is the slow release, may be you can try the XR too...

kiwiboy23470

Sep 21, 2011

To: All

I have take 8 N+ for 5 months now. I know it's not a large number, but after reading these stories... it can only lead to more trouble. With a relatively small dose like that how bad is my ride going to be. It has been 24 hours, i didn't notice much... however my legs have suddenly started to ache, and feel warm, like burning. All day i felt extra wired, energy, but the anxious undesirable kind. Restless anxiety and a feeling of being uncomfortable in public. Is this normal? Are these signs of withdrawal starting?

traceyk76

Sep 21, 2011

Helplessness... thank god you've got your cat!! you were anticipating having a tough day at work, with that guy who's a pain in the a$$... So u just gotta do what you gotta do to get the day done--I understand that completly....& tomorrows a brand new day...i send u my thoughts, prayers,hope & best wishes,luck & whatever else I've got...hang in there
also cheers about the sql....

kiwiboy.... when my N+ begain a few years back now- it only started with 2pills most days, then it was 4...6...8...10 & I was even stuck on 11 for ,quite a while-i think, not taking the whole sheet cept for 1,made me feel a lil better... but in th end I was taking no less than 20 N+ at once, 3 times per day= 60 N+ every single day so its only s matter time b4 ur 8N+ turns into 60 N+ .... i;d assume that u probably be experiencing wd's...possibly not as servre as a Higher amount? but im not sure...but either, your doing a great thing... you'll find some good support on this site...also from what i have been through going cokd turkey- servre wd's did'nt really bother me too much untii a few days in...all downhill from there for a while, goodluck & all the best

Tk

kiwiboy23470

Sep 21, 2011

thankyou very much for the reply. I can see how potentially bad this could get. At first it was genuinely for pain and then i noticed myself taking them to wind down and take the edge off. Not a good sign.

I have developed a massive headache, some nausea, and im feeling very cold and shaky. The kind of cold feeling you get when you have the flu. Feeling cold yet feverish. Either i've picked up a flu or these are indeed mild withdrawals. Too much of a coincidence for this to be a flu i think. I feel absolutely awful i cant imagine what it must be like for someone that has been on the stuff at doses many times that of mine.

Astray

Sep 21, 2011

Yep,

The WD symtoms (symptoms) are a lot like flu. You can expect to feel gradually worse for a couple more days, then you will feel much better. You are absolutely doing the right thing here so stick with it.

You are in for a faily rough few days but as you say this is FAR better than a truelly appalling experience further down the line. Well done.

cerebrus

Sep 21, 2011

Hi Helplessness,

While taking N+ I became depressed and effectively took the N+ to self medicate this depression. For me life felt too hard and taking N+ gave me a respite from this for a few hours. If I didn’t take any N+ for a period of more than a day depression, anxiety and panic would build to a point where I just had to take more N+ to cope.  I thought long and hard about accepting I was a depressive individual; the N+ was the right medication to treat this issue and to stop worrying about taking it. I think I could have persuaded myself of this if I was in a stable state of taking a set number of N+ each day and them giving me a set time where I felt I could cope. As you guessed this was not the case, I started to take more N+ over time and the periods of being able to cope decreased.

I still could not cope with my depression but the N+ had stopped allowing me manage this. When I took them I felt emotionally awful, but if I stopped taking them I felt unbearably awful and started again.  It was the realisation that I could not face a life feeling as depressed as I did even when I was taking N+ that made me do something in the end. I decided that I needed other medication to deal with my depression, but decided – thank, thank goodness- that this needed to come from my GP rather than me self medicate with something else. I had tried my GP before but the antidepressants had little effect over and above the codeine, so the only solution I could come up with was to stop the N+ and give the antidepressants a realistic chance. I was also wary of swapping one drug straight for another so decided to go cold turkey, give it two weeks and then see my GP.

When I first stopped taking N+ I had two weeks of strong anxiety attacks, really low moods, insomnia and dark thoughts permanently spinning in my head. Almost anything would upset me and I’d often feel my eyes watering up. I often lived by the hour or 2-3 hours. What kept me going was the thought that there was no point going back to N+ as this no longer let me cope either, and once I had been free of the N+ for two weeks I would see my GP and get something that did work.

I never did see my GP – but always know that I will if things get bad again. At two weeks I had times when I felt like I used to after taking the N+ and felt comfortable and confident for a few hours. This started happening daily and then a few times a day. I’m up to the three month stage now and feel pretty good 95%+ of the time. Its wonderful.

So to end a rambling story, it sounds like the situation you are in now bears similarities to my own. For me - and likely for you – a large part of the depression, anxiety and panic I felt was caused by the N+. Stopping these pills initially plummeted me to an all time low, for nearly two weeks. But I can still recall that moment of joy I experienced on day 14 when I first realised I was not worrying, dreading, thinking how I could hide, who I had let down, when I would be fired from my job, how much people disliked me and all those other horrible thoughts that had be a constant companions for as long as I could remember. I knew then that the N+ was causing my depression not managing it. Sure, the bad thoughts came back but I felt I had seen the light at the end of the tunnel and that made me carry on. And I’m so glad that I did. Looking back I can’t believe how much effect N+ had on my emotional state.

Stopping the N+ will ultimately have a big and positive impact on how you feel, potentially a huge one. For me suspecting this was my only way to feel better is what drove me to quit.

Good luck, have hope in your heart and know you can feel better.

All the best, Cerebrus.

jeshuron

Sep 21, 2011

To: Han

Been checking out the site now for 4 days, and was really pleased to get your message. I feel encouraged to start. I have relapsed back and havent started c/t yet. I have to confess I am a little scared. Do you think I would expereince all of that having only been on them on and off over 3 weeks? Would like to make a start, or a starting date. We have so much happening in our lives, making this the most important when no one else knows is kind of scary.....Jeshuron

helplessness

Sep 21, 2011

To: cerebrus

Thanks so much Cerebrus for sharing your thoughts, I don't know what to say. I don't know what I'm feeling right now. But I will definitely going to stop taking N+.

Han1974

Sep 21, 2011

To: jeshuron

Hi again
I think because it's been such a short time for you that it will most likely be easier to stop cold t.
It may only be a case of 3 or 4 days of mild withdrawal

Only thing I no for sure is that if you choose to stop now you will save yrself so much trouble and grief.

It is scary and lonely facing stopping but the reasons to stop are so many and carrying on will destroy yr body and yr life.

You must be one really really strong woman with all the resposibility you carry daily. You can do it.

It's day 11 for me today and it is getting better day by day.

I have the restless legs driving me crazy and still not sleeping
However I don't feel so awful in the daytime now.

There is life on the other side if this

Will be thinking of you
H

traceyk76

Sep 21, 2011

....cerebus I've read lot of the previous pages & congrats to for success, your story,along with some of the others like cali,gus,swannie,avon just to name a few....the list goes on, are an inspiration to us all, so thankyou to all who've posted their struggles & success's... "its not the high that you feel when your runnung around- its the friends that you find when your coming down" (B&E) best wishes to all in living N+ free...

tk

helplessness

Sep 22, 2011

Tomorrow...tomorrow is the day...hope I can do it this time.

jeshuron

Sep 22, 2011

To: Han

Up until half way through last year, I was a single parent as well. My husband died of cancer 4 years before. But I was happy too on my own. I loved, at the end of the day when all the kids were in bed, and I would hop in bed and had lots of encouraging things to read by my bed. Its interesting to see really how much strenghth you have Han. Think of all you are doing as a parent and friend. I feel really supported from just being able to respond to you and another lady named Tracey. What a buzz to go straight to this website in the middle of a busy morning and know that theres people out ther who "have our back". Thankyou

jeshuron

Sep 22, 2011

To: traceyk76

Just said to Han how cool it is to get on to the website and realise not only has someone listened but they have taken the time to reply. Thanks so much. My appointment is next Wednesday. I havent taken any today although yesterday was terrible , I took 42. But I want to wait till tonight and have some before bed, and try to taper off over next few days. If I am not succesful, I will ask the councelor to help by going in over a few days and cutting back to none that way. Will keep you posted. Would prefer to conquer this over next few days though.
Hans progress is inspiring. Tracey I am new to the site so may have missed where you are at. Are you of the n+? How did that go for you?.Jeshuron

cerebrus

Sep 22, 2011

Hi TK, thank you. The spirit and determination show by everyone here is fantastic and the love and support given by people who are themselves equally trying to get their lives back on track is inspiring.

Answering the questions that many of us have in our heads; the "how was I so stupid to get into this situation?", "why just me?" and " why can't I just stop, it’s only a silly white pill?" is a big relief too. Especially knowing there are other options to the "just stop taking them" school of thought.

Helplessness, good luck for tomorrow, be kind to yourself and remember when things are bad, you will see the light at the end of the tunnel.

All the best, Cerebrus.

jeshuron

Sep 22, 2011

To: Tracey

Sorry Honey, just read back through and see you have already spoken of your journey so far. Jeshuron

traceyk76

Sep 22, 2011

Jeshuron-its all good...i am in deed off the N+ but only because I've replaced them with methadone, which i've reduced to a very small daily dose,thursday is my last day on the mthn,but as off yesterday im trying to dose only every 2nd day...to prepare for thursday...so today will be my 1st day without mthn in almost 2years.. and the 1st day without either N+ or mthn in 5years....wish me luck!!!

I am however having thoughts whether to just get 1 pkt of N+ ? just take a few to see me through...BUT I know better...If I was able to do that in the 1st place-- I would'nt be where im at now??? So I wont (i hope)... but the thought is there,
Just goes to show what tight grip these lil white pills have over ppls lives...

To watch someone die of cancer is a truly an agonising experience i can relate with...one i dont believe u recover from...just learn to limp comfortably with... but excess in any form, is a lousy substitue for true joy as WE have learned.... Stay positive & take care...

Helplessness.... Tomorrow is here,hoping all is well for you....

Cerebus.... keep the love & support coming for us all....

pabek

Sep 23, 2011

To: pabek

Hi everyone I was on 18 tablets a day and now I’m codein free for few months .I’m not sure if you find this helpful but I did so that’s why I decided to share with you. Last withdrawals I have battled with Kratom (Green Malay) and found easy, yes easy..I was taking kratom every few hours (one spoon) since day one till day 14.and then I have slowly reduced a dose. Have a read about kratom.Good luck everyone.

traceyk76

Sep 23, 2011

To: pabek

Congrats to you for your success... thanx for the tip...pabek---I have researched Kratom...but it seems to be illegal in Australia....where I am-bummer....
Hoping everyone is still winning their battle to either kick N+ or remaim N+ free.....

TK

Han1974

Sep 24, 2011

To: All

Hello everyone
I am day 14 today free of n+!
I feel really good now. Great infact and free!
I don't think I cld have done it without the support from everyone on this site.
I hope this encourages someone
If I can do it , you can too!!!
If yr in the middle of ct hang in there because it's so so much better on the otherside !

avon35

Sep 24, 2011

To: Han1974

Hi, fantastic, so happy to hear you have popped your head out the other side of ct and are starting to feel good. So so happy for you! During ct you think it will never end and never get better, but at least now you know it does!

Good on you!

Also, you are not even 100% better yet so each day there will be more and more improvement, and usually back to 100% yourself by 4-6 weeks.

avon35

Han1974

Sep 25, 2011

To: Avon35

Avon , thankyou.

During the very worst it was yr words that gave the hope and strength to keep going.
What you said yesterday about it getting even bettering the next few weeks is very exciting!
Day 15 today and I'm awake at 6 bright eyed and bushy tailed!
My head feels clear and I feel like I have the energy in me to deal well with the day.
I've had some very big problems to face and high stress situations
That I have handled and dealt with without numbing myself from the reality.
It's so great that in the middle of all the difficulties not to be also running around worrying about buying pills.
And the $$$ saved is brilliant.

I'm so glad that I stopped. I'm so happy to be free. It's like getting a second chance at life.

kiwiboy23470

Sep 26, 2011

I am only on day 6. It is coming to an end. I am so tired. I cant explain it. I went to the gym and my strength isn't there. This is scary and feels like it will never end. I cant sleep well but i am exhausted physically.

avon35

Sep 26, 2011

Hi, you are doing great, day 6, well done. You are so close to the turning point (about day 7-8) where you will start to see an improvement each day. The first 7 days are the worst, then it all gets better and better.

I must say i am impressed you even attempted to go to the gym. I certainly never had the energy to do that during ct.

Hang in there, your energy will improve in the next few days, and one more week you will be feeling great!

Avon35

Calidore

Sep 26, 2011

Aargh, a weekend of booze, drugs and cuprofen plus, which means I've been taking it for over a week, 16 a day. Not pleased with that. However, there's a small lull in social events coming up and I intend to cut out all the chemicals, including cigarettes, join a walking group and have a pleasant autumn doing healthy things in the outdoors. I've got to sort my life out, it's still a mess, got to find a girlfriend, pay off some smallish debt and learn to manage with only one lodger, though that's one for the distant future, there's no way I can afford to lose one of them now. I've made a lot of progress this year, it would be a shame to stop it now and fall back into old ways. I've enjoyed a good few weeks of going into work completely clean, and when I started back on the ibuprofen stuff last week I noticed how malcoordinated it made me, how much it disrupted my sleep and how it gave me a definite feeling of unhealthiness during the day, and that was just on 16. So I know it's rubbish, for one hour of cotton wool you get a whole day of dissatisfaction. Maybe the odd weekend have a little blast, after a few pints, that's ok, but let it rule your life, no way! Here's to tapering off this week.

Cali.

kiwiboy23470

Sep 26, 2011

Thankyou for your reply that really gives me confidence. At the moment i can't tell if i have the flu, or hayfever or what. My nose won't stop running and i'm cold. I can't wait to be completely free of drugs. I was on valium and managed to kick that. After kicking nurofen plus it'll be over. Living without taking pills must be such a liberating feeling.

helplessness

Sep 26, 2011

To: cerebrus

Thanks Cerebrus for your support. But I failed miserably...CF for 2 days only, and back on N+ on Sunday till today. Tomorrow I'm going to see my psychairist, I don't what to say to him. I had disappointed everyone from here and to him. I feel so bad. It was just the weak sensation that I can't bear. I feel very weak, seems like I don't have any strength in my arms and legs, and i was scared that my mum will come into my room and question me why I'm always in bed, why don't I move around, clean my room, blah blah blah..... anyway, enough me wingeing...I WILL try CT again tomorrow, Wednesday, 28th September, 2011.

jeshuron

Sep 27, 2011

To: tracey and Han

Had 2 days where I took 8 per day and was starting to feel good. However lost it yesterday and to 39. They dont work.Thet dont take away the pain of rejection, loneliness and abandonment. I give out to 7 people everyday, not including my 2 grandchildren who have had chickenpox and have been home from school. For me I regret getting married and giving up my freedom etc. You know my husband is a drug and alcohol councelor. Crazy aye? I do, and acheive more and dont buckle than he does straight. The reason i started taking these horrible tabs is that for a breif moment I felt a false sense of peace and numbness. 4 short weeks ago. I am going cold turkey today. But I dont know that I want to stay with him. I have my first councelling session today. I havent been able to go anywhere here because he works for our addiction service! Yes I am feeling bitter today. But it will pass and I will deal with it........Jeshuron (its a name from the bible that God calls his daughters. It means Gods Darling upright) Time for me to act according to my name

cerebrus

Sep 27, 2011

To: Helplessness

Hi Helplessness, What failure, look how far you have come? Sure you're not at your goal yet of becoming permanently CF but you are a good number of steps to getting there. For two of the last 5 days you have not taken any N+, you have a plan to stop taking N+ again, you are talking to your psychiatrist about your addiction - and your depression - and you've actively involved in a support forum of people who know exactly what you're talking about. I'd say that’s pretty successful and something you should be proud of. You are really doing something about your addiction and this will lead to success.

For me becoming CF was a process that has taken a period of more than a year. It was not an instant realisation of what I had become and what I needed to do but growing conviction - and desperation - that I needed to get off the N+ or I would lose what was dear to me. I went through 7 or 8 sessions where I stopped taking N+ and started again but always came back and had another try.

I think this is very normal. Statistics on beating addiction say there is a 10% to 15% chance of beating your addiction each time you try to stop. Many of us here can vouch for this and this is a great thing to know.

So, see going back to N+ as a short term set back only. What works to beat addiction is never giving up on giving up, and the more you try the more you're likely to succeed. This is just what you're doing, which is fantastic.

Quitting N+ is a journey and look at how far you have come. You're a strong and determined person and you can get there.

All the best,

Cerebrus.

helplessness

Sep 27, 2011

To: cerebrus

Thanks so much for your support.
I went to see my psyc today, and he given me so seroquel and worked out a plan to combat that. And we also worked out how much money I can save from not getting any more N+..hahaha...some incentives there. BUT definitely I will try again. Coming there is a long wkend...I need to be active to distract myself. Dunno what I can do yes, but I like handicraft, so I'm gonna work on them. Haven't done them for so so long. Hope one day I can show you my work!!

xoxo

Han1974

Sep 28, 2011

To: kiwiboy23470. Jeshuron

Hi kiwiboy

How are you today? I read yr last post and I want to encourage you, what yr feeling is exactly what I felt like at that stage. It is yr bodys way of reacting to the loss of the drug. Hang in there !!
You are doing so well. My nose ran too and strangely I did and still do sneeze all the time. It does feel like flu. I found it hard to get up and down our stairs and had zero energy.
But then it stops and you start feeling better. Much much better.
I am day 17 today. I feel awake alive and with plenty of energy.
Avon35 tells me I will feel even better in another two weeks which is really exciting .
This will be you soon!! Free
You hang in there you are doing so well.

Jeshuron,
I hear you and understand so well how you feel, this is such a crazy life sometimes! Does yr husband know what yr going through ? You are really such a superwoman! I only have 3 kids I know how it feels to be always giving , you must have a very deep well of strength within you

My marriage ended when our youngest was 3 months old
I've been solo parenting for 10 yrs with two special needs kids,
One of whom has a terrible bone disease.
Their dad lives in a different country. So it really is just me.

I am sure I ended up in trouble because in moments of utter despair it sort of numbed me , took the edges off the pain.
But yr right it doesn't work. I telling from how good I feel now, it really made it worse. Ie: less energy to deal with problems , depression as things got worse.

Can I say that I wld give anything to have the kids dad in their lives . As a mother the very best I can give them isn't enough as they need a man their dad. So much happens or is said or tried on that they wouldn't dare if they had to face their dad.

I encourage you to do whatever you can to keep yr family togeather.

You truely do have a beautiful name.
Yr in my thoughts daily . Don't beat yrself up yr doing great!
It takes courage to be honest and everybody falls. You have gotten back up have gotten back up and you will beat this thing!!

jeshuron

Sep 28, 2011

To: Han

Wow this is so exciting. I have been in that place of freedom and it is amazing to feel that energy again. I look forward to it. You are just who we all need to hear from. Jeshuron isnt my real name ofcourse. But I love finding out what biblical names means especially when God refers to his daughters by that name. I believe we are all his daughters and express his divinity.
I went to the drug and alcohol councelor and she was really good to talk to. I also went to my doctor and he has put me on a tapering programme over the next few days. So all is in place.
Will keep you up to date. Are you North or South Island, if you dont mind me asking. I am lower North....Jesh

kiwiboy23470

Sep 29, 2011

To: Han1974

It is now day 10. My legs are aching, i feel like i have been hit by a truck. Feel just kinda depressed. Just gotta stick with it and im sure it'll come right soon.

Han1974

Sep 29, 2011

Hi kiwiboy
You are only days away from feeling so so much better. Day 12 was the turning point for me.
I know it's hard to imagine right now
I felt just like you do
And then amazingly I started to feel better.
You are doing so amazingly well!!!!
Hang in there.... It's so so worth it
Well done ....day 10!!!

Calidore

Sep 30, 2011

Well, started the taper. 9 pills today. Not cigs or booze for three nights. None tonight which is a big step as it's Friday and that is an easy banana skin to slip up on, what with it being treat night and a bad night to be alone, which I am.

I was noticing a new dimension to the pills this week, and it is chest pains. I am 39 years old so no longer in the first flush of youth, and I also took some cocaine at the weekend, so this would complicate matters, but I am not a fan of stress manifesting itself in my chest. I know that for older people NSAID's can be a cause of heart problems and I think my experience this week would support that idea.

Anyway, I said a few months ago I couldn't see myself being addicted to these pills ever again and then due to taking them for a cold I stupidly got hooked again, but now I have got it down to half I feel I am back on track and will almost certainly be down to two or three by the end of next week.

I have also noticed how they give me a lot more nightmares, on Tuesday I dreamed I was being burgled by ghosts and last night I dreamed I was at my sisters brothers funeral. I am her only brother. It's stuff like this that I won't miss, as well as the chest pains and looking sick and blotchy every morning.

When I am free of these things life moves in the right direction and I feel ok, even though I have a lot to do to get sorted properly. When I'm on these things life stops and quickly becomes rubbish.

The cocaine was a definite one off and will not be repeated any time soon. I find myself utterly pathetic for being almost forty and still taking cocaine, opioids, alcohol and cigarettes, it's depressing.

Good luck everyone, keep doing the right things and everything will fall into place.

Cali.

kiwiboy23470

Oct 01, 2011

Im at day 11. I have noticed everyone talking about being unable to sleep, however im experiencing the opposite now i've made it this far. It takes me quite some time to settle in and sleep, and then i wakeup after about 6 hours absolutely exhausted and fall back asleep, and nap throughout the day. Just so lethargic with aching legs and a runny nose. After 11 days using nothing whatsoever im thinking to myself surely it's going to end soon. Im just scared its going to keep going and going and going. The thought of that is so depressing.

AngelOfChaos

Oct 03, 2011

Hi everyone

Firstly I wish to commend you all for the strength and courage you all have, whether you have managed to beat it, or opening up, and for those in my shoes, we all know that it can be beaten.

Even now I can't admit it, I know it in my heard that I obviously am, but I cannot say it out loud for fear of the fact that if I say it, it truly means that I am addicted.

I'm a migraine sufferer and turned to N+ to aid this sometimes debilitating pain. I've been taking them since they came out here in south Africa but only got bad last year around April or so. Work started getting extremely stressful, I was (still am) unhappy at work, migraines and headaches intensified, so I took more, to the point I was taking almost daily, this was still only 2 at a time. Then one day my boss took her bad mood out on me and I'll never forget the day I took to get the buzz, well not for the actual buzz as such, i think I wanted to feel numb. I was in such a state and I just wanted to stop the crying and the stressing. I remember grabbing my N+ and popping 4 straight off. from then on I knew this would help me get through work. I'd tried all the herbal calming aids and I mean all, but nothing worked like N+ so I took whenever I felt stressed. Last year and early this year truly wasn't my greatest, I found out my brother had been imprisoned, my dad (an alcoholic) lost his house and was possibly homeless. I'm from the UK but now live in SA so felt so helpless and unable to do anything. Eventually after more issues with work I went to my GP and am now on anti depressants, but I still take the N+, I'm now taking 6 at a time usually 3/4 times a day, but even this does give not take the edge off anymore. Weekends are better, I only take for genuine headaches and even though I'm not taking them as much for "stress relief" as I was, I'm getting more and more headaches as I did so I feel I have a genuine excuse to take them, but at the same time I know dependency headaches (dha) are a side effect of addiction so I never know what is DHA or a normal HA. I know I must come off them, I doubt I can do cold turkey; my husband doesn't know just how many I really am taking. I am lying to him about it, I hide the boxes in places where he won't look. I have boxes at work he obviously doesn't know about. This weekend, I finally decided to taper down. Saturday I took 4 twice and Sunday only 9 through out the entire day. I've taken 4 at 8:51am this morning, and usually by now I'm gearing up to take my next lot. The worst is that they are so easily available to buy otc with no questions asked. I would go to one of the big pharmacy chains here where they have many staff members working on the same section so it's not so easy to be recognised, except now they've got no stock. I managed to get 4 boxes of 24 each over the weekend, and this is my last. I cannot continue down this path any longer.

Finally I wish you all the best of luck, my thoughts are with each and everyone of you.
much love.

Gus55

Oct 03, 2011

To: To all

Hi Everyone

After 40 years of addictions and after many attempts, I am now:

13 Weeks N+ Free
11 Weeks Cannabis Free
9 Weeks Smoke Free

No patches, no supplements, no replacements… just COLD TURKEY!

This is the other side, where life restarts and the possibilities are endless. This is where you can dream and hope again, this is where true freedom exists.

When I go out I don't need to carry any smokes, plan which chemist to visit or have a joint for the road, I can just get my keys and go.

Time seems very slow when you start your CT, but when you reach the other side you will be amazed how quickly the time has passed.

My mind is clear and I feel great and people around me are amazed how different I am.

It is worth every effort, it is worth all the short term pain and discomfort, IT CAN BE DONE, YOU CAN DO IT!

I wish you all the best of luck

Gus

AngelOfChaos

Oct 04, 2011

Day 12 - Kiwiboy How are you doing today?

I'm tapering, I couldn't go CT especially as know one knows about this and I cannot take the time away from work. Yesterday I took only 12 instead of 20+, that's almost half. perhaps I can keep it at this for a week or so and keep going down.

thoughts and love to you all.

AngelOfChaos

Oct 05, 2011

Hi everyone.
Yesterday I took 14 (2 more than the day before) throught out the day, but more for the fact that I some how twisted my neck the night before and was in a lot of pain.

The whole day yesterday my nose was running, don't have any other flu type symptoms so I'm hoping that this is just a bout of hayfever, (spring is here in SA) I took some hayfever pills last night but thanks to the sore neck I didn't sleep well at all.
Yesterday the boss went her ends and even though there was only 1hr left at the office I didn't take. I must admit pretty proud of my self once I walked out at 5pm. Today, however, is another matter.... The atmosphere is so thick in the office I hope I can get through this day. The boss's mood is sour and it's only 8am.

Much love to you all

Calidore

Oct 05, 2011

The taper is going full throttle now. I have filtered off the codeine from 8 pills and drunk it. I have a busy week next week at the Frankfurt book fair and don't want to be caught halfway in wd. or worse still having to take a load of pills with me and just prolong the disruption to my life. I have noticed recently how run down these little blighters make me feel...stomach ache, shooting pains in my abdomen, stiffness in my back, clumsiness and slight disorientation, not to mention runny nose and a sort of nervous exhaustion. The chest pains have gone, they must have been the cocaine. I'm such an idiot, I've spent most of my life wasting my time with drugs of one sort or another and now I'm panicking because perhaps halfway through I realise I've achieved very little and it's not a good feeling. But it's the spur I need to get sorted.

I'm thinking of filtering off eight or so a day for the next few days and then down to four over the weekend and then none. I should be ok, I've only been taking 16 for a couple of weeks, but I don't want to spend weeknights lying here in discomfort.

The other thing I noticed was how these pills mess with your head, I mean all the weird lifelike dreams when you're half asleep, the fantastically detailed images that flit across your mind. I feel like such an idiot. I only hope I haven't done myself some serious damage over the two and half years I've been into them. Ok, the bleeding ulcer was serious, but let's hope that was over and I heal up ok.

Good luck to everyone. I know how hard it is to give them because they are the one thing that makes a crap day better at the end of it, but their contribution to making the day rubbish is huge.

Cali.

Calidore

Oct 05, 2011

To: Gus55

Well done, Gus.

Calidore

Oct 06, 2011

Second day of taper, another 8 filtered off and codeine drunk. Legs pretty uncomfortable before this evenings dose, maybe I didn't get the full eight last night. Felt pretty run down all day, particularly this evening before tonights dose.

On the plus side with two days without significant nurofen intake my skin is looking healthier and internally feeling a bit better and psychologically too.

Damn nuisance, cant wait to be off them totally for a good long stretch.

AngelOfChaos

Oct 11, 2011

So had a rough weekend. I had terrible hay fever, upset tummy and insomnia added to the mix triggered the mother of all migraines Monday morning.
After a whole week of taking less than half of my usual intake, I am unsure if the above (excluding migraine) was withdrawal symptoms or I had genuinely been sick. I didn't go to work yesterday and ended up going to my GP for a migraine shot of Pethidine (I think it’s also known as Demerol or dimrol or something) and Voltarin as well as a shot for the nausea. This calmed the migraine down tremendously, and all I was left with last night was the "hang over" headache I usually get after receiving one of these shots. (last time being October lat year). Ironically, I turned to N+ becaus eI was so worried about having too much pethidene and relying on it too much even tohugh I was only having two or three shots a year.

kiwiboy23470

Oct 12, 2011

To: AngelOfChaos

I am doing relatively well thanks. Still some remaining fatigue. But the worst of it is definately gone. Feeling mostly back to normal. 22 days down. I am exercising on a regular basis and getting aching legs to an extent that isn't normal. Nothing i can't deal with!

Calidore

Oct 24, 2011

Tapering does work. This is my second night with nothing and I feel fine. I had three days of just codeine, about six pills worth each day, and felt a bit manic yesterday, but before that I was on 12-16 full pills a day for about a week, so I'm not complaining. I'm hoping that the pain on the right side of my stomach will go away. It usually does when I stop the pills. God knows what they have done to me, it's been there on and off for about four years.

I'm feeling better; no runny rose, no depression, no restless legs. I would recommend tapering down to a small number each day for week or so, perhaps with a little relapse just to make the goodbye not quite so drastic and then stop. Most doctors say codeine is not too hard to withdraw from and I believe them. I feel a hell of a lot happier now that I'm not necking 12-16 bloody nurofen each day. Have you seen what just eight N+ in a glass of water look like? Like almost half a cupful of sludge, I thought, and that can't be any good for your body.

nickyleanne

Oct 30, 2011

To: All

Well I didn't last very long after detoxing in July - i was soon back on the merry go round chemist that is N+ addiction. I am once again going through a detox - i have the next 2 weeks free of everything (aside from study for exams..but that's all good)...I don't have kids, I took leave from work - I have to make this work this time. I can't go on like this any longer - the hold N+ has over me has to end or my life will end. It's sad that I have quit so many times (this is my third 'serious' time) and I keep relapsing. Getting through the withdrawals is not the hardest part - resisting the temptation is! There are chemists everywhere - it's the same situation for an alcoholic and all of the bottle shops surrounding our world - temptation is always there! Anyway, I'm only on day 1 - I have my stash of remedies to help make the withdrawals easier ...wish me luck!

ariane150

Nov 04, 2011

To: Butler3131

Hi ,
Thank you for your very interesting post and well done on wanting to help us ! I would love to get in touch with you as I think I need some help with my addiction to N+ ... First day without it today but I can see that tomorrow will be hard to deal with ! I really want to stop but I know I will need all the help I can get .can you give me the details of your group or an email I can contact you on ?
Thank you so much , I feel a little less alone now ...

nickyleanne

Nov 04, 2011

Well, I am now 7 days N+ free..hasn't been all bad this week, aside from the occasional vomit and no sleep. This time round (as in my third time trying to seriously quit) I went to the docs and got some sleeping tablets. I really thought they would knock me out to sleep, but no they didn't - although, despite the lack of sleep I'm not really tired. I have spent the past week studying for exams, and watching documentaries about addiction. One doc particularly touched me and made me think about my addiction in a different perspective. It's called black tar heroin, and while I know heroin is much harder than N+, at the end of the day the effect is the same. While these heroin addicts go in search of drug dealers on the street, my 'drug dealer' was simply the surrounding chemists. I could so relate to the feeling of helplessness in this doc - I really recommend everyone who is suffering from addiction to watch this doc. It really was an eye opener - I hope to remind myself every time I could possibly relapse, of the stuggle's all addicts go through. At the end of the day, we are all human and make mistakes - my mistake was not recognising my addiction in the early stages, as I let my addiction take over. The phrase 'being a slave to the drug' really struck something in me...I don't want to be a slave to N+ anymore. Anyway, here is the link
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9qkDPFs2NNs

nickyleanne

Nov 06, 2011

I'm 8 days N+ free. I feel proud of myself, but I'm worried about going back to taking them. To be honest, I've felt pretty good this time around - I have mainly just had problems sleeping and a few stomach issues. I was in the exact same place this exact time last year, and after a month of being clean, I bought one pack which eventually lead to more and more everyday. I guess I can only learn from my mistakes, and try hard to resist the temptation. I wish I knew the method to resisting temptation. I miss the feeling of N+,,,especially the peaceful sleeps. I just pray and pray that I can keep this up.

LellyAnn

Nov 18, 2011

I have just read a whole heap of the posts here and I think they have helped me feel a bit better.
I have never admitted to anyone about my shameful secret of drug addiction, coz yes thats what it is :( I have been addicted to N+ for over 12 years now. At my worst I was on 60 a day. I have always wanted to get off them but havent had the will power. It helped a bit when we moved as there are a lot fewer chemists here and I have to drive absolutely miles to get my supplies. I knew I couldnt go cold turkey so I decided to cut down and it has taken me years. I cut them down gently by taking say 2 less for a few weeks then maybe another 2 less for a few more weeks. I have had many periods when I have stayed on the same amount for a long period but I have slowly got there. I was on 6 a day for a long time and then a week or so ago I started only taking 2 a day in the evening.

Yesterday evening I decided not to take those 2 so I had my first ever N+ free day for well over 12 years. I hoped that after cutting down so gently that I wouldnt get too many symptoms. I dont know how I will go and I just feel a bit sick this morning. Im really hoping it wont get too much worse and I really really hope that I wont give in and take 1 or 2 just to help the symptoms :(

Ive never read forums etc before because I knew I had a problem and didnt really want to read what it was doing to me. I have read the posts here and they have helped me feel more positive. I really dont want my life totally run by the need for tablets and the trek to go and find more supplies all the time, not to mention the horrendous amount of money they have cost me!!

Please keep your fingers crossed for me that I can manage to get rid of the blasted things now.

Calidore

Nov 19, 2011

That's good LellyAnn, you shouldn't get too much WD from just two a day. For me it's after 10+ a day that I start to suffer if I withdraw. I cut down from 12 to 0 in about four or five days and have been feeling fine for the past two weeks.

anewstart2010

Nov 19, 2011

To: all

Hi Everyone,
Wow- I can’t believe this painkiller popping is such a silent epidemic!!! I too have been taking painkillers for 11 years. I started with Nurofen + but found I started getting gastric ulcerations so changed my drug of choice to Panadeine 12g Codeine/500mg paracetamol. I was taking 6 a day and then 2 Mersyndol at night which has the exact same substances as the panadeine but also the addition of 5.2mg Doxylamine succinate (which helps you sleep). I rationalised this to myself by saying that "you are still taking it within the recommended dosage- so its all okay." But deep down I knew it wasn’t. I started using it after a double suicide in the family. It helped with the 'emotional pain'. Numbed it so to speak. Made me feel less anxious. I tried to quit a few years ago and failed. Now I am a medical student. We have just finished our renal block- and I knew it was time to do something about it. So last Sunday I quit! All over red rover!!!! I too have had withdrawals- flu like symptoms, restless legs, aching muscles (oh the aching!!!), rear end that resembled a burst fire hydrant and headache mania. The brunt of it lasted for about 3 days. I have been taking heaps of vitamins- fish oil, CoQ10, ginko, and magnesium. MAGNESIUM IS A LIFESAVER!!! (Whilst magnesium has laxative effects if you take too much- it certainly helps with the muscles and headaches. You are going to have the runs anyway so I figure the magnesium cant make that any worse!). Today is day 7 clean. I will be honest- I certainly have had pangs of thoughts where I try to convince myself that one wouldnt hurt- but I know if I take one- then I will be right back where I started!!! As for the Mersyndol- I found through my studies that the Doxylamine succinate is not 'addictive'. You are able to buy a product here in Australia called Kirlands Sleep formula from a website called Biovea which has the Doxylamine succinate without the codeine. I was taking 1/2 a 25mg tablet. I however have ditched this too as I think its better just to get my entire system clean. One of the things that has helped me too was to keep 2 tablets on hand. I told myself through the process that if things got too bad- I had something there- just as a backup. I haven’t touched it though. It just reduced my anxiety as I ventured into the withdrawal unknown. Anyway- Im hoping I have seen the worst of the withdrawals. Like I said- day 7 clean. I’m hoping I’m not getting ahead of myself in this newfound excitement of allowing myself to live again unaided by painkillers.

As for this forum and the people who come here to give words of support- congratulations and thank you. I am sure there are people who look at us and judge. But they haven’t walked in our shoes. People have been hurt and are hurting on a daily basis- and we all share one thing in common. Our drug of choice to cope was painkillers. But we can all share another thing too- that is to get clean. There are so many words of wisdom and advice to help people on their journey.
Stay strong my friends
A new Start

anewstart2010

Nov 19, 2011

To: all

Another thing I was going to mention.  Quite a few of you have mentioned that you are concerned about the damage you may have done to your body.
The main thing about using high doses of NSAIDs such as Nurofen Plus is that the ibuprofen component of the drug knocks out the protective enzyme in your stomach called COX 1.  Because this isnt working properly it causes increased acidity in your gut- which leads to gastric/peptic ulcers and perforations.  Its not really a matter of 'IF', its a matter of 'WHEN"!  So whilst you are taking it for the Codeine- the ibuprofen is what is causing the major damage.

So what I would recommend to those who are worried about the damage they 'might' have done-  is to pop along to your GP.  Tell them you have been having lots of abdominal pain, and your stool motions keeps changing from constipation to the runs.  They will order an endoscopy/colonoscopy where they can have a look in your gut.
This is the best way to find out if you have done any damage- ie- given yourself and ulcer etc.  If you have- they can give you medication (that isnt addictive :) which will give your gut time to heal.  You dont need to mention anything about you drug use if you dont want too- and they wont be able to tell from looking at your stomach what it was caused by.  Peptic Ulcers can be caused by many things including stress, bacteria etc.
And if they dont find anything- then at least you know that this time to were lucky and you can stop worrying about the damage you may have caused.
Way back when I was using Nurofen Plus I had an endoscopy/colonscopy where they found I had a gastric ulcer- (they just said it was probably due to stress, diet and smoking- I didnt tell them otherwise- just changed to Panadeine as my drug of choice).  But the thing with Panadeine- you certianly CANNOT take it in huge doses- such as 20-90 per day- or YOU WILL KILL YOURSELF!!  It wont happen immediately but in a few days- bam!  Remember- I was taking it within the recommended dose- only 2 every 4-6 hours (which doesnt make me any less of an addic but I didnt want anyone to get any ideas/misconceptions!).  Paracetamol in huge doses causes RENAL FAILURE- it also causes it in smaller doses over long term use- hence why I have got my butt into gear and stopped.

But the main thing is that in order to move on with our lives we need to be able to stop worrying if we have done damage.  Just go and find out.  If you have- it can be treated!!!!  And the drugs they use to treat it are NOT ADDICTIVE.  So you have nothing to lose.
Good night my friends.
A newstart.

notoriouskitty

Nov 26, 2011

To: All

Hi Everyone....Just came across this site via google and i'm sure glad i did! 4 years ago i was addicted to 40 N+ a day. After 2 years of abuse one of my kidneys was started showing signs of failure...so of course that was panic time for me...to cut the story short i ended up going through the centre for addictive meds and did a home detox over 5 days...thankgod i'd confided in my mother as i could not have done it without supervision. So what's my problem you may want to know? Well suprise suprise....im back to where i started! I cannot believe i am doing this all over again! i swore to god and anyone else who would listen that i would never do it again!... I really have no idea how i started again....it just did. Thankfully this time i have managed to get myself down to 9 a day...but that is my problem...i cant get any further....I really cannot do the home detox again as i no longer have the support of my family around (aged parents interstate) and dont ever want to put them through it again, it was to much for them back then. So im wanting advice on how to taper down from the 9 a day. Im really not sure how to taper from here...im in the pattern of 3 morning 3 lunch and 3 afternoon...so any advice would be greatly appreciated. I really dont want to go CT. Too many failed attempts that way. Thanks. Kitty

Calidore

Nov 29, 2011

Hello Kitty,

Getting to zero from 9 shouldn't really be too difficult. The first week of withdrawal from a high number is the hardest so if you taper down over a week you should be ok. To go steadily from 9 to zero shouldn't cause you too much discomfort, when I have had to cut them out I usually went by taking a third off each day and keeping one or two pills in reserve in case I needed something as I wasn't sleeping. Then I would throw the remaining one or two away as they would be no use to me any more.

Good luck!

Cali.

jack_the_alkie

Dec 04, 2011

To: GUS

Well done Gus. I am a 60 yr old alcoholic who thanks to AA stayed off booze totally for 14 years. When I retired - I was made redundant 2 years ago after a lifetime with one company-- I got very anxious and scared and my wife threatened to divorce me, my daughter developed ME , another daughter had an abortion after a 'quickie'with someone she scarcely knew and of course, I had huge financial insecurity still having a mortgage. The job centre wouldn't even give me Job Seekers allowance because I had an occupational pension scheme. I felt because I was middle aged, middle class and jobless that my wife hatred me and my daughters were ill , I felt so scared that I bought Valium and Tramadol online and quickly got addicted. They made the anxiety worse, so I went to the GP and told him. He showed me how to come off gradually and within 2 weeks I was free ! However, I couldn't get a job. I was told I was 'over-qualified' whatever that means even to work as a shelf stacker. I got really depressed and then I got addicted to codeine through Solpadeine which my GP gives me for my back problem. Guess what ? I've started drinking again after 14 years clean and sober. I drink here and there , not like before which was all the time, I can go weeks and then I cave in. I feel wretched and my family are devastated. I haven't got the guts to top myself but anyone who says drugs are not dangerous if used sensibly is insane. For people with addictive personalities like me, they are deadly. And so is booze. All the weed smokers I know through AA are totally crackers as well.

Anyway, well done and please don't ever take a mind-altering drug again because your resolve will crumble and you will be back where you left off, only worse ......Jack Carter

Calidore

Dec 15, 2011

Feeling well down today, but not taking any pills, I have been out drinking at Xmas events the past week and pills at the end of that give me nightmares. I would also get that uncoordinated feeling and probably invite the ulcer to return, so hands off the cookie jar.

CarlosandLara

Dec 20, 2011

To: Gus55

My partner has been on them for 7 years, up to 60 plus a day, she had ulcers and been to hospital so many times she is on first name basis. Operations, blood transfusion you name it she has had it.

I have tried everything, being financially and emotionally supportive, looking after her and her son and trying my best to deal with this situation. Every year she spends xmas in hospital and this year is no different she is being admitted today. I am at my ends with this, she has gone from a beautiful, sexy, intelligent women to someone who resembles a junkie. Sometimes I have to force her just to have a shower. She tells her son she does not want him and that she wishes he was not around, she has cheated on me and stolen from me to feed her addiction and when we try and talk about it she simply states "Don't ask me to chose between you and and pills cause you will lose!" Why are these tablet not prescription meds?? so many people are in this state all because they are so easy to access.... Someone please help me before its too late...(or maybe it already is....)

Mel2205

Dec 31, 2011

To: CarlosandLara

My heart really goes out to you and I think your wife is very lucky to have such an understanding husband! However, you should not have to suffer her addiction too and it sounds as though you are! She doesn't sound as though she wants help or even wants to stop! I am an addict of 20+ pills a day and am determined to beat this for me and my family... My husband has used tough love but is also supporting me because I want to help myself! You have to think of your future too and if you want it to be with someone who is not willing to try! I'm sorry for the harsh words but sometimes that's what is needed. You say she'd choose the pills over you but would she really??? Sometimes you have to lose everything to build yourself back up! It sounds like her words are from a frightened addict that can't imagine life without her pills.... Maybe she doesn't believe she would really lose you at al as you've been so patient. I wish you all the best for the future... I really do.

locknessmonster

Jan 09, 2012

This is my first admission to N+ addiction and im shaking and crying just admittng it to this post. I take 30 to 40 pills a day and i hate myself for getting in this situation. Ive been addicted for 10 years and i really dont want to take them any more. Ive pushed away my family and all but one of my friends (she is the only one who hasnt given up on me yet) and none of them even know about my addiction and id like to keep it that way. which is prob stupid but if i was a smart person i wouldn't be in this situation. As i was never prescribed them from my doctor I started taking them for a toothache and loved the feeling it gave me and stupidly started taking more. Now i am desparate to get off them but dont know where to start or where to turn to. I am a single mother to three kids one of which is twenty and has left home and have to work part time to help pay bills. I know my kids are prob better off with out me (as what kind of mother spends the little cash she gets on N+ which can be anywhere from $70 to $95 a week) But i dont want to cause them anymore pain than i already have. I am worried if i go cold turkey i wont be able to cope and ill take my frustrations out on my poor children and i worry that it will affect my ability to work in a part time job that i have and dont want to lose, as jobs are to hard to come by. I live in Australia in NSW and would like to know what is out there to help me. Im so glad i found this site it is giving me a pin ***** of light in the darkness where ive been for 10 years. There is hope that i too can get off this death merry-go-round and be free of my N+ addiction.

cloudcodeine

Jan 10, 2012

Hey,
I can totally relate to your comment here, I really want to quit but what stopping me is how empty my life is without the stuff. Im getting increasingly concerned for my health but I just dont know how to cope without N+ anymore...

M x

medic000

Jan 11, 2012

To: locknessmonster

49yo mum, living Sydney, posted preiviously to you, but carn't find it, want to help you, contact me.

medic000

Jan 11, 2012

To: locknessmonster

Lockness, couldn't find the post previous to 10/1, work in healthcare, got addicted to this **** 5 years ago, 10 days N+ free, in brief, single mum of 4, as said work in healthcare, live Sydney, have seen as profile (med student) quoted, patients presenting with N+ abuse, if I can help you, pls let me. As quoted by others days 1-4 bad, but I worked & I MEAN WORKED 12hr shifts) thru them. badly, but work thru them, day 5 life seemed better, restlessness a bit better, bathroom trips subsided, happier, the bad thoughts had passed (bad mum, carn't do this, couldn't anwser the phone, open the mail, did what I only had to do, just to get thru, didn't find this site until day 4, so grateful for what I had read before me, all the demographics, world wide, occupations proffesional, unemployed, didn't matter, I LEARNT SO MUCH, If I can help you, I want to, let me know.
Medic

chris2012

Jan 11, 2012

To: Any one

I'am a 51 year old male suffered with depression for 20 years been on and off anti-depressants over that time some good some bad, I'am now on Sertarline and it doesn't quite take the edge off the day like it use to. So I have slipped back onto N+ from 6 to 15 a day. Even though my doctor says I drink to much 78 units a week I have never seen this as a problem. and I get fed up with drinking before I fall down. I also went back on the weed "Cannabis" two months ago just to come down off the N+,
I know what I'm doing is wrong and did try over the past weekend to stop both the pain and despair was so over whelming by yesterday Tuesday  I had to go and buy some I took 12 over 2 hours and felt better and today 12 hours on the craving is back I'm trying but it is so hard,
I feel my Doctor would not be sympathetic as he is most things I think he is a depressive him self, All he is bothered about is my bloody cholesterol drinking smoking and blood pressure, "Should I change my Doctor?"
I'm praying that I can get to the end of the month after which I'm going to take a month off get out of this drab country and get my S**t together and maybe change my life, I know I'm selfish and there are people worse off than me I know I work with them in my job, But the only way I can put a brave smiling face on it is to dose myself up on N+ things have got to change that's a fact, So I battle on and not try to chase the Dragon "N+" The other thing is I know other people who are addicted to N+ they don't know I know but I see the signs when the pack falls out of the handbag and they scoop them back in as though their ashamed that you have seen them??? we have all done it. "Oh they are just for back pain or migraine and the lies to tell the pharmacist I'm running out of ones in my area cause they all know me but not one has refused me them "How sneaky we are"
I do feel better for venting on line and appeciate any feed back,

Toffeedaisy

Jan 20, 2012