OXYCOTIN (life with vs. without)

[vader461]

I've been an Oxycotin addict for years. It all started out with a vicodin addiction but when that didn't trip my trigger anymore I switched to oxycotin. I think to get that same nodding off effect and the feeling of confidence, excitment. When your on Oxycotin you feel as if you can rule the world from you bedroom. You feel like your on top of the world. At first Oxycotin was my best friend. It made me work harder. I could work 16 hour shifts without getting burned out. I would sneak into the bathroom and occasionally sniff an Oxy and then come out and hit my computer hard and get done what others were drinking gallons of coffee to accomplish. Also, it made my day and general attitude better. Then all of the sudden it turned on me. I was always burned out...couldn't accomplish ANYTHING. My whole day was just a big burn out nightmare spent wondering where I was going to get my next fix. I then came to experience the sickness and tiredness, anxiety, blood pressure rise and etc.. when I was without the drug. It's like it did a 180 and went from being my best friend to my worst enemy. I'm now on day 11 without and going to a clinic where I'm talking to counselors and taking prescription Methadone on a daily basis. Life is STILL HARD. Although Methadone is helping....I still miss my drug of choice OXYCOTIN. It still calls to me and I still think off going out and getting some. The Methadone helps because I have NO withdrawl symptoms such as sickness and etc.. and the cravings are cut down to maybe a fifth of what they were without. I'm doing GREAT considering but I still MISS my OXYCOTINS. I'm NOT caving in though. I REFUSE!!! But I often wonder.....HOW LONG WILL IT TAKE BEFORE I HAVE NO DESIRE TO DO OXYCOTINS AND BEFORE I NO LONGER EVEN THINK OF THEM OR HAVE ANY CRAVINGS WHAT SO EVER?????? Is this a LIFE LONG battle???? Please help me......please let me know. ANY THOUGHTS OR SUGGESTIONS from my fellow soldiers going through the same battle of addiction that I'm fighting.

[dogneedshelp]

I am soooo sorry this is turning out to be such an incredible battle of your willpower. I do not have experience with oxy's so I do not know what you are going through. I am fighting day 4 off of vicodin so the withdrawals are hellish. Maybe not having suffered the pain of withdrawal made it too easy for your mind to wander back to the drugs. Believe me,  4 days of this hell going through withdrawals has given me psychological strength beyond belief. I NEVER want to feel this bad again. Maybe you have to suffer the side effects of withdrawal to realize exactly what you have done to yourself and realize that this is a path you will never want to walk again. There was a time in your life before the pills. Think back... wasn't it nice? Didn't the sun shine a little brighter and didn't you notice the birds singing and the wind blowing? Well life after the drugs can be the same way as before them.

Now please don't get me wrong. I would never want anyone to have to suffer withdrawals but sometimes perhaps feeling the full effects of what the pills can do to us, both good and bad, gives us a better dose of reality. It sure did the job for me. I wish you the best of luck with you battle and you should be VERY PROUD that you have gone 11 days without any oxy. That is incredibly good and you CAN continue to get better and you WILL.  Just the fact that you have posted here demonstrates that you realize you have a problem and want help. That is the first and hardest step to recovery. Admitting not only to ourselves, but to others that we need help.

I hope you have the strength and resolve to continue your therapy and I know the battle to re-use is pretty strong. There are many caring and helpful people here who have more experience with the psychological addiction aspect and will jump in here soon with better advice than I have. Sit tight, the calvary is coming to your rescue.

[SisterMooo]

Son in rehab for Oxy, and they gave him Suboxone, he's been off for 31 days and is going into a half way house for 3 months, the only way he knows he can kick it is by going to NA or AA meetings and keeping with a program, or else.........

keep up the good work, remember there are others out here that you can talk to.

Faith helps too.   With G-d ALL things are Posible....

[Mangee]

I am an old hand here. Haven't posted for a while although I am usually reading what is happening.  I am also an old hand regarding oxy. I was on it for only thirty days but was completely addicted by that time. I was given no warning by my doctor as to how powerful oxy is.  After thirty days I decided I didn't need it any more and flushed my supply . I went cold turkey and it was hell. I became paranoid, anxious and stressed out among other things associated with withdrawal. My mood was terrible and I was a complete monster to everyone around me. However I kept to it and after about two weeks it became easier. It took about three months for the dregs to wear off. It has been almost a year since and I have no desire for it at all. Unfortunately it doesn't work the same for everyone but it can work if you want it to, bad enough. It's the old story, if you fall get up, if you stumble reach out to those here who will willingly walk with you on your journey. There is a lot of support here when you begin to weaken. I know this from experience. A lot of people have walked here and many have succeeded in conquering their fears in regards to the demon,"Withdrawal."  The question is,who is stronger you or the drug? Sure it's tough, but anything you want bad enough usually is. If you can't do it for yourself do it for those who love you and want the old you back. Think of the song that Jerry Lewis sings at the end of the telethon. "When you walk through the storm, keep your head up high." If you haven't heard it look it up it will help your resolve.

[vader461]

Thanks for all of your comments. I read this daily and I realize we are in the fight of our lives together. Tomorrow is 2 weeks for me!! I haven't gave in yet. Some days are hard.

[CinCee]

Just remember one thing, as a seasoned relapser, I can assure you, the dragon is gone, gone, gone.  The drug can never be your friend again.  If you pick it back up, you will still have that high tolerance and won't get anything but sick and disgusted.

[johnnykelly]

Yes Brother In my humble opinion you are doing GREAT!!! I can identify with your oxy experience, I for instance was a percocet user and now im on the oxycontin. Bro the perks did all you stated,they where great,i could drive and if i got stopped ,their was nothing to worry about,unlike the booze. The only thing that would give us away would be our inability to shut up,boy those drugs make me chipper.I remember a friend of mine being asked by his next -door neigbour if he was on medication, as the percocets make us all happy,unlike the beer when people get drunk and fight,i have not seen many,if any violence on perks/ocys.But i to am having problems and will also be going back on the methadone as it has come to an end. cheers john

[beentheredonethat863]

I KNOW EXACTLY WHERE YOU ARE COMING FROM. When I sarted reading your post I had to stop and make sure i didnt post it myself. SERIOUSLY!!! Well I am now on day 4 without oxys down from 150mg+ a day. I tried methadone for about a week and it worked but once I researched it I realized it has even worse wd's and they last a hell of a lot longer. So i went back to the oxys. Finally I heard about Suboxone and researched it for myself and it sounded right for me. I started taking them 4 days ago and I havent wanted to touch an oxy since. I honestly feel better now that im off them than when I was flying off a the 80mgs of oxy i would take at one time. So just something I thought you might like to know. Either way hang in there and keep posting on this site it Will help you.  If you have any questions about anything of need help drop me a line and i will do what i can.........

[Lydias]

I've been clean a little over a yr and it took me about 3 months to not think about oxy's daily.However, I was not on methadone. I have also heard methadone is hard to get off of. hang in there it gets better!!

[dogneedshelp]

Hit me up any time you need to talk. I am usually lurking here somewhere.

[vader461]

Thanks alot. It's an awesome and spectacular feeling to know that there are people out there who are fighting the same battle that I am going through and know just how I feel and have my back. THAT MEANS ALOT TO ME. It's a tough battle and road to recovery....but at the end of the road there is something that doing opiates and other drugs never had.......a light at the end of the tunnel....HOPE. Thanks for responding back....EVERY response gives me more hope and more willpower to win this much needed fight. THANKS

[GoingToMakeIt]

Well, never? It will get less and less but it lingers in the background for a long long time. Sorry but true. It is manageable. It does get better. Especially when you get off all drugs. Methadone has only replace 1 drug for another. It is a good step for some. I am not knocking it. It is a very hard drug to get off of though.