Omg.....

[Sweetness91]

It's been over 15 months since I stopped methadone, and I remember at the beginning how all these feelings and emotions came flooding back in. Well geez.....I can't seem to get a grip sometimes. I get all teary eyed when I read a touching story, or watch an episode on TV...one that  I've already seen a zillion times, and I get all teared up before the part I cry on just because I know it's coming!! Lol. Was I always this big of a crybaby?? It's embarrassing to be watching something like Law & Order and start crying, especially when the hubby is next to me. I could do without this part of sobriety...for sure!! Lol.

[Sweetness91]

Ohh man I forgot...

LOVE, PEACE, & CHICKEN GREASE!!!

(Not sure why I love that so much...but anyway.....it's for YOU my sweet Vicorageous!!)

[Sweetness91]

Ohh Vic...I wish you were my neighbor! Or even just someone who was close by! We think so much alike that it's almost scary. Lol. It's hard not to put everything else before us, isn't it!!?? And a lot of times I do, then I have to do a reality check and realize that life isn't always just about everyone else, and that I really do fit in the mix somehow too. Took me a long time to realize that, but I do now! Thanks to you, your MOMMA, and all the veterans and special ppl here. Whether you believe so or not, you've been a rock in the foundation I've laid...and I'll always need all of you, regardless of how long it's been since I've used you as a tool for sobriety. I will always need you...and I will always love  you for the part you have played in my life. Dammif...here come those tears I've been bit€hing about! Ahhh this really ***** sometimes! Why can't i have a friiend that I call when I feel like this??!!! I've shut myself off for so long, and been so distant that all I have are friends I can't even hug or shed. tear with. Blah....I want a do-over!!

[VICourageous]

Hi Girl..Sometimes I get a Brain fart and forget to turn the computer off..It is my Bed time but I thought I would take a lurk out here..lol
I just wanted to tell YOU that I am so proud of you! I have been reading your replies on here in other post and GIRL they are Awesome. You have grown so much toward your Recovery..I miss YOU!
I am not working in my Health Field right now so I help the Hub a bit with our Drywall business. Mostly I stay home and work inside & out around here..We have so much Land to take care of and always having to get the Wood in for Winter or Split during the Summer and SO much more. Been working on cleaning up my Moms Trailer that is here on our property. This has some of my Emotions going wacko a bit. I do check on here alot but do not hang around as long as I did while going through Detox..Girl it took me many, many months to come around physically. I think it had alot to do with those 3 meds and the Mix it did on my Brain & affected the Nervous system so darn bad. lol Summer will be here for us all and that will be good. Get out and go down the River or even do some Hiking & Camping. Anyway I just wanted to let you know I sure can feel the change in you. LOTS of Positiveness and Your Spirit just shines on here!!
Bless U Girl
Peace & Chicken grease..lmao that is tooo cute the way you check out..lol

[Sweetness91]

Aww man...I hate to say it, but free time can be a bad thing sometimes. I've been home from work for a couple days with a kidney/bladder infection so I've spent a lot of that time here...reading posts. And it makes it hard...it really does. I don't have the desire or urge to go back to my old life. Geez...I'd never choose that over what I have now, but do you ever forget the way things were?? The way it was when you were swallowing a pill everyday? When you didn't worry about a DAMN thing?? I realize that this is another part of the ever so beloved "Life"...and I'm grateful that I have the ability to realize that...I really do...but sometimes it $UCKS!

[Sweetness91]

I did the same thing for years....so emotionless. But it's getting a little embarrassing over here! Lol. We are a "teasing family"....all in fun...but I'm better at dishing it out than taking it in. My daughter made the cheerleading squad this year, first time she's ever tried, and decided less than a week before she was gonna do it. We went the day after tryouts(this was a couple months ago) to see the list of who had made it, and of course there's lots of other girls and moms there, and I cried like a baby when I saw her name on the list. She's like "MOM!! Let's get outta here"...lol. I thought I had a right to shed some happy tears but she wasn't having it. I still laugh when I think about it. But either way, I'm so thankful and blessed to have had that experience with my girl, and thankful I wasn't doped up with something that would've made me forget the moment or react any other way.

So sometimes I guess it's ok :):);)

[dominosarah]

I cry over commercials yet to this day.  I spent so many years not feeling anything that i will take it!!

[Sweetness91]

Thanks Sarah! :)

[dominosarah]

Congrats on your well deserved clean time!!
.
Congrats also on feeling again~

[Sweetness91]

Lol yes they do Ricart. Thank you for your never ending support!! :)

[ricart70]

Great job! Feelings like that are really good. When I was on opiates i would see a squirrel in the road who got hit and not think about it. Now when I see a poor little squirrel like that it makes me sad and angry at careless people who do not watch for them. So the moral of this story is.....People who hit squirrels with their cars because they are not paying attention sukk. ;)))

Keep it up friend. You are doing great!   You have come so far since I first saw you on here. ;))

[Sweetness91]

Hey Jenelle :) Luckily I don't feel the need for antidepressants. I don't sit and get all bound up in my own head and cry for unknown reasons. It's always when I watch something or read something, whether it's happy or sad. I feel like the old me actually. I'm not as combative and mouthy, especially with my husband, like I was when I took the methadone. I dont know, I guess the stuff just made me not care what I was saying or what the consequences might be. My husband and I don't bicker NEAR as much as we used to...except when you get us in a car together, because nobody drives as good as me...lol. (Ohhh he really does drive me bonkers in the car)

And you're right Gnarly, if being a little emotional and sappy is my biggest problem, then I'm doing GREAT! Lol. I'm just glad to hear in not the only person in this boat. :)

Vic, the mac~n~cheese...I'll never forget that either. Bless her heart! I am so glad I had y'all to talk to, I was really sick during detox, and not just from the detox itself. Geez I remember when every single one of us in this house had to load up and go see a doctor because we all had the full blown flu. And I couldn't shake that stuff for what seemed like forever! I know I probably should be, but I'm not afraid of relapse, because I know deep in my heart that I will never put myself thru another 4-5 months of that pain again. Soooo not worth it!

Ok, enough rambling folks.
Love, peace & chicken grease~~Sweetness

[VICourageous]

Thanks Sweet..I thought I would come in and tell you that I will NEVER forget the time you spent on here as I was talking to my Mom and You about the Mac-n-Cheese..Every time I see you on this comes to my mind.
I also remember how you got so sick with Everything that was going on and also during your Detox too..SO YOU Girl are a very Strong Lady yourself and I do admire you so..lol
Bless

[gnarly_1]

Hey Girl good to see you great to see you clean  as for the emotions they will come and go  im am a mans man but I often weep threw the worship part of our church service im not sure if it is just I feel such love from God setting me free or what  I get it at other times but not as bad what you got going on is normal even this far out im over 1600 days and still get it so I know how it feels hang in there if this is all we have to worrie about where doing great........Gnarly

[Jenelle2020]

Hi sweetness, congrats on your clean time, As you know I was on methadone too, for over 7 years and have been off it for 13 months now. I wanted to tell you that my emotions are all over the place too , and I am even on antidepressants! Sometimes I wake up in tears and don't even know why, some days I cry all day long. They say that antidepressants "flatline" your emotions, well not the ones I am on. I cry at the least little thing ALL the time! I guess we were numbed up by the methadone as I cry so much now, but that is okay. Those that are close to me know how I am and just accept it, I don't like it but what can you do? Take care, you have done great!

[Sweetness91]

Thank you TMLB and ABN :) This place definitely helped me thru a terrible time. No matter how big the bump was, I always knew I had ppl here who cared and were supportive. These ppl are awesome aren't they!!??

[ActingBrandNew]

Youve come so far...its good to come on here and read about people staying clean. Your doing great!

[Sweetness91]

Vic!! Ohhh I miss talking to you so much! It stinks that I actually am able to work now...lmao, seems like that's all I do now. Work, meetings, kids, husband and dogs! But life is good and I'm so blessed to have made it to this side. Got a kidney/bladder infection going on, so I get a days or two off work. How cool is that?! Maybe I should get sick more often. Lol. Jk. And you deserve all the praise woman...I still read very often here, and you are such an inspiration and so helpful to everyone who comes along. Takes an amazing person to take time outta their day to help others! :):)

And no!! I can't let those emotions flow or I'd be a silly, sobbing, hot mess all the time. My daughter showed me the trailer for "Heaven is Real" last night and by the time I was finished she was laughing at me cause I had crocodile tears rolling. Lol. Sometimes it's funny, but darn...not everyday. :):)

[VICourageous]

Hi Girl and Congrats on your Time!!
I can remember when you first came on and you were so Sweet and you still are. lol
We just keep growing & growing as Time goes bye. I think it has been a very interesting Trip so far. Ha!
The emotions are just real..Let them tears flow because it has been a really long time since we have felt these REAL Emotions..lol
Very Proud of YOU and I was just thinking about you today.
Bless U Girl and just keep on trucking.

[takingmylifeback2014]

LOL At least you are feeling! And that is a wonderful thing.
:-)