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On day 4 and need help saying no to another norco
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On day 4 and need help saying no to another norco

I just admitted to myself a couple weeks ago that I have a problem. I always thought addicts were people who would do anything for another pill or ruined their lives because of it. I have come to realize there are a lot of different levels of addiction. I have been abusing pills, street drugs (pot, ecstasy, cocaine) on and off for the past 5 years. In the last 2 years I came upon a steady supply of norco's and I stopped doing all other drugs. I thought I was ok just taking 1/2 a pill on the days that my back hurt since I have a physically demanding job. Wrong. I got up to taking a lot...I wasn't even counting  but if I had to guess there were days I was taking 5-6 a day. I also work anoth  job at a club and it's going to be VERY hard to go back there next week and not drink or take any pills to get through my shift. It is my main source of income and I have a lot of bills so stopping that environment isn't a reality for me right now. I took this week off for the most part from all my jobs and as many responsibilities as I could. I started detoxing on tuesday with the Thomas recipe, a lot of essential oils, and movies. Its now Friday and I was doing so well, convincing myself I could do this all on my own without any help. (My biggest problem in life is my inability to ask for help). I would say that I could stay sober except that when cleaning today I found a stash of 10 pills and I also have a family member who always has them in the house. This is making it So hard for me today so I'm writing this post instead of taking half a pill. I've read about 100 blogs, articles, NA information and I know that if I do it again it's like starting over and I'm letting myself down, I also know that I'm going to need help and the chances of me getting sober on my own are very slim. I just need some support right now to get through the pills being around and mind over body on staying clean.

* side note: I cannot tell anyone in my life that I have been abusing these so they just think I'm going through a cleanse and feel ****** cuz of everything coming out of my system. I will also say that since giving them up I haven't liked cigarettes and I've been trying to stop smoking for years! In the past 4 days I've cut down to 1 a day and I'm chocking through that- its more the craving for the habit that I give in to but I hate the taste and put it out halfway through.
12 Comments Post a Comment
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4614494_tn?1368359985
Well I just wanted to welcome I to the forum.  U have found a great place w some amazing people.   You can do this!!!   I too understand what it's like to have someone in your house still on the pills.   My hubby still takes opiates and it's flipping hard!!!  I can't lie about that.  Jut wanted u to know u are not alone.  Stay postive and don't take those 10 pills.  Throw them away or do something to get rid of them. Just don't go backwards.   Happy u found us here.  These people are truly the most amazing group of people I have found!!!  So helpful and knowledgable.  

You can do this!   Just keep talking to us!!!  

Chris
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1827057_tn?1397523877
Hey !   four days is great .Don't take those pills. Flush them and keep going in the right direction. It is very hard to quit when You have them around or have any access to them.  Hang in there and tough it out. You are already through the worst of it. Don't throw away your hard won days !  start a tracker on here. It helped me. You can do this
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4614494_tn?1368359985
How are u feeling physically right now??
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Avatar_f_tn
Not too bad- first few days were the worst but hOnestly I love how clear my head is, and how improved my relationship with my very loving and amazing boyfriend is (and I didn't even realize I was moody and creating problems until yesterday when I looked at him and realized it all and how much I love him). I found the Thomas recipe to help a lot and I've been eating Super healthy and taking a lot of Epsom salt baths so I'd say the physical pain is pretty much gone. I know that the pill addiction was emotional for me, I come from a long line of depression and had a mother with horrible untreated manic depression so I have a lot of deep scars from childhood that I've never been able to find a way to heal. I am having a hard time with triggers- stuck in rush hour for 3 hours today and then finding the pills when home, having to deal with people and chores I've been doing high for the past 2 years, and the idea of going back to work at the bar next Wednesday without any of it.
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Avatar_f_tn
Thank you!! I found it on a google search and there are a lot of other forums but I found the replies on people's posts and the stories more commonly related to mine and it seemed to be a great community- looks like I found it at exactly the right moment! Pills are gone. Went and threw them out in the trash bin under all the house trash (and I've never been desperate enough to get caught digging through our trash dumpster for pills ;). How did you get clean with a hubby on pills? How far along are you?
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Avatar_f_tn
Thank you! The replies are just what I needed to hear to go throw them away and shake myself out of it like "what am I doing? Did I really go through 4 days of withdrawl (withdrawal) for nothing. Hell no!" I read that opiate addiction is more of a one minute/one hour at a time recovery. How long is that going to last though? I'm very strong minded but not good with the longevity of those resolutions. The horrible part is that I'm super healthy in a lot of other aspects of my life- diet, daily exercise, type A clean house, skin care, supplements, etc. That's what got me to the- I need to be clean- point. If I can get rid of smoking cigs and taking pills I would be happy with my life for the most part and possibly be able to work on the deeper issues that got me into those habits.
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4341997_tn?1380655144
Hi and welcome....i was taking Norco for many years and i'm little over 7 months clean now....just wanted to lend support and let you know that it's very doable!  glad you got rid of the pills! big kudos your way for that...i had to do the same thing...the best thing is to cut off ALL your sources....

maybe look into finding an addiction counselor...it's helping me alot...doing it alone is too hard....tell someone your secret...even if it's just your counselor or a best friend for now....helps you have accountability..good luck with this...you can do it!  keep posting for support!  we are here to help  :)
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1827057_tn?1397523877
I think you should really start to feel way more normal at around 21 to 30 days out but you will feel lots better before then .Just take it a day at a time at first.   Being healthy will definitely help.  I run 3-5 miles a day and it really helps my mood. Exercise will also boost your endorphin levels and speed up the detox process while at the same time helping to wear you out a little so you can get back to sleeping more normally.  
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Avatar_f_tn
Honestly... 30 days sounds impossible right now. I don't know that I've ever stuck to a healthy resolution for 30 days one day at a time while constantly thinking about doing the opposite. I think the hardest part for me is that sobriety seems like such a dark and long road in which I am going to have to face a lot of difficult things that I didn't know how to conquer in the past and therefore probably don't now either. That road looks a lot happier on pills. I know it's not and I read something that said "Are the benefits of it worth the consequences?" and they aren't. I just can't imagine an entire life without them...it changes every minute. One minute I'm so strong and the next my mind is rationalizing how I controlled it in the past so I could in the future. Knowing that's not true but I have to spend 20 minutes talking myself out of that thinking. My life is much too busy to need that kind of time to self coach.
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4614494_tn?1368359985
So proud of u for throwing them away!!!!!!   Great job.  It means you are serious about this!!!

Now don't worry about tomm.  Think about today right now!!  Go through day by day.   It gets too overwhelming to think too far in advance!!!  U can do this!!!  
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Avatar_f_tn
On day 5!!!!  I slept through the night without the help of a split up Xanax last night for the first time since detoxing.  I had been waking up in the morning with sore feet for the past 8 months. So bad that I sometimes could barely walk when I got out of bed. I don't know if it's common for norco abuse to cause swelling of the legs and feet or pain of some kind? It's almost all gone though!!

Today I go back to one of my jobs (health industry) but its physically demanding and while it's not going to be as difficult as the bar shift later this week it's still something I haven't done sober in a long time. I'm nervous.
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Avatar_m_tn
Good for you that you were honest with yourself about your addiction. It's something so many people are seemingly incapable of doing. I recommend suboxone, as it will allow you the space and the physical and mental stability to start putting your life back in order and give you the time you need to form a long-term plan to get off the suboxone--a hard task in itself, but one made much easier by having some distance from being an active fiend.
There' also ibogaine, which you might be interested in looking into. The one other advice I'd give  that I can't emphasize enough is to stay far far away from ANY 12-step, NA/AA group or rehab that bases their treatment on such (as the vast majority do. A whole system based on a book written by two drunks in 1938 that ignores science and believes that it is the ONLY way anyone will be "saved". Absolutely ludicrous. It's a dogmatic, guilt-based and wildly ineffective (it has only a 3% success rate. Look up the stats) insular religious  group that vehemtly condemns any questioning of their sacred "steps", and will greatly pressure you to find god (or the laughable concept of "higher power". Intelligent design, anyone?). It will serve to make you neurotic with their absurd credo that you'll always be an addict with a "disease" that you must focus on all day, every day.It's basically a cult with the attendant worshipping, hollow incantations. A private addictions therapist who bases treatment on the latest science, or S.M.A.R.T. Groups--as well as forums such as these--are a much more reasoned and effective way to get clean long-term.
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