One week off everything, specifically oxycontin

Todays one week!! I know thats not much, but it still sounds nice. A week ago I didn't really like where things were going for me, and I was constantly making myself really sick. Now, I feel so much better and healthier. In the past when I stopped I would drink sometimes, take xanax kind of recreationally and kind of "to help WD", anyway this time I am not using anything other than a few vitamins and I am reaching out for some help as you all have advised. I am a bit nervous for the next few days because last time it was days 8-11 that were the worst, and this time around i'll have to be working at a summer camp and it's really hard to be around 30 little kids and be depressed and lethargic etc.  It feels weird to be so sober, because I haven't had a week like this in the last 3 to 4 years, whether it was ecstacy, coke, or now oxycontin, I was always using something, and now for once I am not, and I feel sooo much better. My head has also been in a really good place this week, I haven't let it wander to oc or any "what if" kind of scenario which I think led me to relapsing last time. Basically, I am only worrying about today, I don't want to think about anything in the future because I also am a little scared to go back to school since all my friends are so into their partying they can't see life for anything else, but it is okay because I am really independent and self sufficient and don't mind being on my own if they can't support me. I want to wish the best to anyone on those first few days and trying to make it through the physical withdrawals, you can do this!

[SophieShine]

Congrats on your 1st week of freedom!!!
You have been working so hard to be where you are. It took some convincing to do (lol) but you have learned so much Cassie. You are absolutely right to take it one day at a time, that's the only way to succeed.
Don't take anything for granted and be always aware that the addiction is just one pill away. So no "what if" this time!!!
You are gonna make this, you are on the right path.
Listen to yourself, seeking for help, looking for after care and even taking your counsellor seriously. lol.
You grew up fast the last months and in the right direction this time.
Be proud, you deserve all the credit. Keep on rocking in a free world.
All my love. xoxoxo. sophie.

[corey411]

1 week is very much. Ask anyone who has 2 days. It is 7 days of not using. It is great you keep trying Cass. You gotta find a way to stick with it. You have not been clean long enough to really feel happiness again. Every time you get clean your time is mostly spent in wd. Guard up and stay with it this time. We will help you. Let us know when you need us before you pick up.. Hugs, Corey

[Cassie415]

Thank you both so much, your words mean a lot to me. I would really actually like to get to feel happiness, as you said, this time around, and I really cannot go back to that on and off cycle, it wore me out so fast, I feel much better this time around and I do nottt want to go back.

[avisg]

Stay FAR away from ultram its highly addicting and the wd is hell there is info on health pages about it and BTW it was my DRUG OF CHIOCE I had hell getting off of it I dont want any one else go threw it .

[Cassie415]

Thanks for the warning. I dont even really know what that is and have never heard of someone selling it but i'll stay away, thanks.

[Cissy373]

Cassie I am very PROUD of you and you go girl!! I know it has to be so hard on young people these days with all the drugs in school and ones using, but if your old friends can't support you in the new YOU, then find other friends that will.

I am in unbearable pain and dealing with that but not sure which is worse the horrible pain or the horrid WD's...........thank God we are past the worst of that.

I know we have the mental to go through too but its one minute at a time.

Keep posting..........we care.

Cissy

[Cassie415]

Thank you. I'm sorry to hear you're in pain, I can't imagine what that would be like for anyone trying to stop opiates and dealing with their pain! I had the WORSTTT night last night, I don't even think I got one minute of sleep and I am now going to work and am literally a walking zombie. I started feeling tired about 4 minutes before my alarm went off lol just my luck. Got to go to work now ..not looking forward to it. Everyone, have a great day!

[ELLOUISHA]

Well done im really proud of you ya doing so well keep it up im just starting my rattle today god its so hard and i feel so ill so down and low the pain is unbareable i was so close to ordering more pills on line today but i stopped my self god addiction is so so hard so well done you ...

[dominosarah]

Way to go on 7 days Cassie!!!  Stay in the day and take it one day at a time.  Aftercare is very important right now for you as you will be going back to school.  Look to new sober friends this year.  You will experience the happiness you have been looking for with every passing clean day.......You can do this girl!!!!  Stay positive and stay strong      sara

[gizzy32]

Way to go Cassie! I think you have learned a lot since you came to medhelp and FINALLY starting to see the light, lol. It is so so tough at first. The first month is extremely difficult for most, i didn't even feel human until i was a month clean, but I promise you it does get better. You have to much to live for to let drugs control your life one day longer. I just wanted to tell ya i am proud of you and if you use again, I am flying to cali and kicking your *** myself, haha. Stay strong.

P.S. Going back to college will be a huge trigger for you. People, places, things. It is so so so important that you stop hanging out with those that use. I know it's tough, i gave up a lot of friends to be able to fight my addiction, but **** them, haha. My sobriety is most important. Congrats Cassie, I am proud of you:)

[Cassie415]

Thank you so much everyone. I went to work for the first time sober today, hardest thing ever. It's like 95 degrees out right now and all the other counselors are SOOO incompetent and do NOT no how to deal with kids lol so I have to run around and do everything on no sleep or food. I thought I was going to pass out several times. But it feels good to know Im pushing through it and doing it sober. Thanks everyone for the responses!

[whitie]

good job.........now march forth, and be prepared and determined to fight even harder.

yeah go to the camp, bring some herbs and some ibupro,if you need it. sounds like a great way to be forced into staying clean for a good cause.


as for the ones you know at school, tell em straight up, and let them know you are quiting for good and what a nightmare they are. tell them to wake up and dont throw their lives down teh drain on the horrible oxies. If one of them still is trying to influence you are suggesting you take something, then reach inside deep and DONT DO IT !!!!!!!

tell em to E.S.A.D !!!

[Wanting_Out_9]

Izz or someone posted about where you are in your recovery. My day two is a huge example of what I have to look forward to moving to day 7. Which will be in a cabin away from most civilization - for me, prob a good thing. Leave Friday so by then I should be on 6 and hopefully feel better than I currently do. I hope to god. I am praying for you, and me too. This surely not fun. If only our country knew how wide spread this really was. I dont think they ever will. Its ultimately up to us, and our want - I know that. Just not ez, AT ALL. Good luck on another day sober. Day 3  tomorrow, which I have to work thru - eh

[music_fan]

One hour, one day, one week clean is a massive achievement - well done.

[Cassie415]

I had a major reality check today...I don't know who I have been kidding. I was at work at the summer camp I am a cousnelor for at the club and I saw one of my friends that I hadn't seen in a couple weeks so I said hi. He pulls out a bag of coke from his pocket and says, "lets hang out tonight, we'll have fun." I used to do coke with him and a bunch of other people in HS and it just got me thinking. When I go to college, EVERYONE i know parties and does drugs. Like they aren't addicts they're just normal 18-20 year olds that like to have fun and party. And everyone I know thinks I LOVE to do that too. Nobody will understand what I am going through and probably won't care. This is going to suck.

[ImGettingClean]

If you start thinking about the stuff you can/cant do weeks, months, years from now, you'll drive yourself bananas...

Take it one day at a time.

Nick

[avisg]

A big part of this is going to be staying away from the people you know use .It means making a new circle of friends you can do that .I will say this doing alot of drugs in college is really not just "normal college partying" I think you will find alot more of them have problems just like you they just have not figured it out yet hopefully they will before its to late.you just keep working on you OK

[Cassie415]

Yeah I know you guys are right. And I haven't been thinking about it all (before today), i've just been focusing on each day as you said to do and it really helps and has kept me positive. It's just bad timing, right when my head's finally in the right place, I have to go back. I am actually living with someone who I think has a major coke problem, and another girl who does oxycontin. It's going to be a nightmare, and I leave in one week! But I will try not to dwell on it. I'll just focus on today, and tomorrow, tomorrow.

[Cassie415]

true story: i was having a hard time tonight, scared about going back and all, thinking about what i was going to do. And all the sudden while thinking about this I get a text saying, "There are two roads you can walk down, but one road to choose" and it was from a random number that i did not know that ended up meaning to send it to someone else, but i swear it was like a sign!! It was crazy, i guess i got to listen lol

[worried878]

cassie..always remeber the reasons u quit..if u were having a good old time and the drugs wernt causing a problem then u wouldnt have quit..things were no hunkie dorie,,,remeber the pain u had that led u to quit..hold onto it..then move forward

[Cassie415]

yeah ive got to keep going over those reasons in my head and i will. im really not thinking about using again i am more just scared about what is coming up. But i am going to only worry about right now, i like that mindset and i just lost sight of it today. thank you.

[miriam1975]

don't start again. Take it from me... the guilt of having to go through withdrawals after getting clean once.. is awful.

I sit and think " wow, you HAD to start this **** again??"

I feel guilty and that increases withdrawal. You can feel PROUD and that will make your process easier than mine.

I look up to you... xoxoxoxoxo

[Cassie415]

thanks....i don't want to use again, i have detoxed too many times in the last month and honestly i cant even think about having to go through it again sometime soon. the last time was too bad. I was never thinking yesterday about starting to use again, i was just feeling scared about what was coming up. thank you so much though, how are u doing?

[miriam1975]

I'm doing ok, I guess. On day five. no energy. feel nervous and easy to cry. but at least I slept last night. <3

[Cassie415]

day 5 is really great! You're almost through the worst of it and thefact that you can sleep is really really good. I wasn't able to sleep until last night, finally though I really needed it I was getting so drained. The no energy and nervousness and easy to cry is all part of it but it does get a little bit better each day. Are you taking any of the vitamins from the amino acid? Those actually help me get through some of this.

[miriam1975]

hey girl,

I haven't heard of a vitamin thingy. What should I take... I'll try anything to help me smile like i used to. I'm taking xanax for sleep.

xoxo

[Cassie415]

Well it's called the Amino Acid Protocol ( I think) and it is in the health pages. But the vitamin I take for battling that detox depression is called 5-HTP. However, I don't think it is safe to take if you are already prescribed or on an actual anti depressant. But you should read about it. Also, if you just go to any vitamin store you can find a lot of stuff lol. I went in there and got some natural anti depressants, anti anxiety ones, some restless leg stuff, some energy stuff. It was kind of fun lol. But I will say that I have never suffered from anxiety or depression and I think what I get when withdrawaling is pretty minor compared to someone who has actually been diagnosed with the disorder, so I don't know which is the case for you, but either way I think you should just check out the health page and read about it.