Opana abuse

[knjfree10]

Reading through all these posts (you are all very brave!) I too have much in common with most of you. I started recreationally enjoying a pill or 2. Never went through WD. 2yrs ago I had a herniated disc in my neck which caused the most horrific pain I ever felt (worse than childbirth!) At first the Percocet 10/325 IR & oxy 15 ER was a welcome for the pain. Then once the pain subsided I was hooked! Had the surgery almost 3yrs ago in Feb & now I've moved onto Opana 10mg IR w/Opana 15mg ER. The WD's are just not possible! Never have I ever experienced something so horrible! Now I really don't need the pills, but hey my pain dr sees that I have "chronic neck pain" so why not? Well, after being told by more than 1 close person in my life that "You're just not yourself anymore....I miss her" This **** is getting old faster than fast! I have 3 kids who I feel are just passing by in my drug induced state. I don't even get high anymore! I just take them to not WD! How ****** up is that!!!! Add on top a mother-in-law who has no clue & gives me her 30mg ER morphine script every month bc she feels bad I'm in "pain". I'm so disappointed w/who I've become! I literally think day in & day out about making sure I have enough pills so I don't go into WD. Anyone out there in my same boat? I want to stop, I do, but omg....how!!!!

[fordfanatic]

Because of your current situation you know first hand the dangers of drugs and their abuse. That is not being a hypocrite. You have gotten yourself into a situation that many others have found themselves in. It is clear that this is a common problem for many people. You need to take the difficult, but entirely possible, steps to get better for you to go back to the person you once were. That person is still there deep down. It is the substance that has changed you! Believe me, you begin to go back to the way you were once you are detoxed from the pills. It is going to be extremely difficult, but you deserve a better life. It is natural to want to downplay the problem to your husband, but I really recommend that you come clean to him. He can hold you accountable, and you will no longer have to lie about why you feel the way you do all the time. It may be the most difficult thing you'll ever have to do, but it could be the key to you getting clean. Please, consider it.

[nvvicaddict]

I think the first step is that you reached out this community for help, so you know somewhere in your mind that what you're doing isn't right.  At least that's how it is for me. I'm on day 3 of no Vic's and so far the wd's aren't that bad. I've tried to quit before, but have had no willpower. Well, my husband told me that I haven't been the same for the last few years (he doesn't know about my addiction) and my kids tell me that I'm mean.
What I'm doing to them isn't fair so I need to do it first for myself and then for them.  You can do it, you just need to change your mindset from "I can't" to "I want" and take it one day, one day at a time. The people on this forum have been great support so far.
You've made that first step, good job :)

[Frogger76]

Hey there!!  I've been exactly where you are at!!  Hopefully you can taper off of them, I had to cold turkey off a 50-60 pill a day addiction. Just wanted to let ya know the folks on here are great and will help anyway they can, there's a light at the end of the tunnel and it ain't no train;) ~Sherry

[knjfree10]

You are so right! I do look back & truly miss "her". My bff knows my situation & is scared for me. I told my husband "sort of" by telling him I take more than I should & when he asks if I'm doing ok I of course say yes. Here I am preaching to my kids how drugs are bad as I stuff 4 10mg opanas down my ******* throat!!!! What a ******* hypocrite I am!!!!!

[knjfree10]

Thank you so much. Wow your husband asking if you love them more than your family......that hit me hard! Pills used to be a once in a very great while as a one time pick me upper. I just counted my opana & have 43 out of 120 pills that I got on Friday! Yesterday a friend of my bff died in her sleep. She was 40!!!! I don't know her situation but it hit me very hard. Some nights I lay in bed as my heart races & think about my 3 kids & at my age, 38, I feel invincible that these little pills won't hurt me, but they can KILL me!!!! Omg how did I get here!!! Here is another problem I fight with.....I do indeed have chronic neck pain due to my disc surgery BUT it's rarely out of hand but what if I do stop & find I might need something stronger than Motrin? Then what!?!? I also take neurotin & heard that helps with wd's.

[fordfanatic]

First of all, welcome to the forum, and congrats on realizing that there is an issue. It is an extremely important step to stop and think for a second about what your life has become. Think about your life before using, before being addicted, before becoming a slave to a substance. Don't you want that back? It hurts to realize that you are an addict. It hurts to see yourself change. First of all, the advice given by the other members so far is valuable. The fact is, you are addicted to the pills, and need them to feel normal. This is not normal, it is called addiction. You need to come clean to your doctor, since he is the primary supplier of them. He can help you taper off the Opana. It is a very strong substance, and a plan might be needed to stop them successfully. I recently came clean to my girlfriend of six years and my best friend that I am addicted to oxy. I hid this addiction from everybody. I became a different person. Anger, mood swings, depression and lack of motivation sum up the way I have felt for the past year. It is no way to live life. Getting clean is the best thing you can do for you and your family. Keep posting. We are all here for you.

[TS8777]

I will tell you if you can taper that would be the best. But me there was no way I could taper. I tried numerous times. My husband held on to my pills and dispensed them to me. He had to hide them from me. And low and behold I don't care if he cut a hole in the ceiling and put them there and then revealed the ceiling I would find them. If I knew threre were pills in my house I would flip it upside down to find them. I was an animal. He then started taking them with hm to work and only leaving me enough til he got home but of course I would take them all at once. That's just what us addicts do. Well at least I did. He even put them in a little backpack and slept with them. When he wouldn't give me more than what I was supposed to have I went ballistic until he would get so angry and just give them all to me. We even bought a lock box and I figured how to break that open and close it back up without him even knowing. I know I am just rambling but even talking about all this reminds me why I am facing this demon once and for All. I am on day 5 and it ***** but I am so tired. My husband asked me the other day if I loved pills more than I loved my family. And boy oh boy after he asked me that I just started crying uncontrollably because the hardcore truth was I did. I loved them more than ANYTHING else. I want to enjoy my children that God has blessed me with and the awesome husband that I have. You can message me any time. I am new to this forum but so far every one has been very encouraging and supportive. Except one person said to me it's a shame your kids have to suffer. I almost did not come back to this site. But everyone is so nice on here and is going through what your going through or has been through it. Talk to your doctor and be honest. He can help you and he will if he is a good doctor and not one of those crooked ones. Praying for you.

[Cricketk92]

Hi and welcome! You can quit! You just have to want it more than anything! Yes it will be one of the hardest things you will ever do but you CAN do it!! Are you going to start tapering? We will all be here for support and encouragement!! Keep on posting to let us know how you are getting on!!

[knjfree10]

I appreciate the words of wisdom. I get 120 of the opana irs & 60 of the ers & with in less than 2wks, I'm out. Like I said I don't even get high! My kids who are 17, 14 & 9 tell me I'm so angry anymore & they miss their old mom. The have no clue I have this problem. Just me talking on here is a huge 1st step for me. @jifmoc, you calling me what I am, an addict, really hit me hard. Wow. For this moment, I want to just try & taper. I know I sound like I'm just making excuses & to be honest I am, but I do love the support this site gives.

[Merri123]

Opana is very strong!!!  Is there any way you can taper down first?  

You didn't say how many pills you take a day.  Yes opana wd's won't kill you but it is a lot worse than what most have gone ct from here. Except fentanyl.

So tell mom in law you csn no longer take her prescription. Please do not offer it to me. Tell her you feel you need to cut back and it is very important to you. If she doesn't need it (since she gives it to you) then she should stop getting it from her doctor.

Then I would tell your foctor you want to quit and would like his help with a slower taper of them. He should help you if he is a good foctor.

And yes tapering is difficult.  Some can't do it without help. If you need to have your spouse hold them and give you one at each dose time.

Then you can stop at a low dose and get through it slot easier.

[jifmoc]

Hi, welcome. You are manipulating and lying to get pills because you are an addict. That is what we do. We turn into completely different people when in active addiction.

If you are really really sick and tired, than good! And you can be done w/ this insanity. You will have to have ZERO access to anything in order to be successful. Withdrawl is agonizing for everyone. It's the price we pay for all the fake highs we've had and to move on to a real life. No escaping that one. We all want it NOW and EASY and that is our addict brain.  This is gonna take some patience.

I am not really familiar w/ opana, it is stronger than oxy I believe. Opiate detox won't kill you even though it feels like it will. You can get thru it.

When are you starting?

[TS8777]

Yes I have been almost exactly where you are at. Even manipulating people to believe I was in so much pain so they would feel sorry for me And give me their pain meds. My husband told me I am not the person that he married. Maybe you can talk to your pain doctor and just be honest and tell him you are addicted. This is not something new to them. They know how addicting these things are. The doctor can come up with a game plan for you to get off your pain pills. He can prescribe you different things to make your withdrawals not so bad or not even have any at all. I wish I had that option. I am on day 4 of not using and am in complete agony. I have a 1 year old and a 2 year old I also have to take care of. Please talk to your doctor. You don't want to miss out on the best years with your children. My children are the main reason I am getting clean. Well first for myself and then them. They are precious little angels. YOU CAN DO THIS.