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Opiates and what theyve done to me
I lost my boyfriend...of course he was an addict too. He didn't care tho. He'd do them forever. Me, I always wanted to quit. I started doing them for actual pain. My mom gave them to me. I did them for five days and when I stopped something happened. I was freaking out. My body was twitching and I shivered and I had anxiety and couldn't sleep. After I thought about it for awhile I decided to look up the meds Id been taking online. Found out they were addictive. I tried to get through the night without taking them but I needed sleep so I decided Id just take them till I had a day off to WD. That was in June 2010. Ive quit three times since then. Only one WD was Bad. Now Im going for the fourth time....so far so good but Im still scared. My boyfriend decided to start doing the pills with me. He was a very controlling person and made it hard to say no to him. We were ok before the pills but theyve destroyed us. I suppose that wouldve happened anyway. Im affraid of that moment when Im going to feel weak and tired and craving a pill to make me feel good again. Ive joined a gym. Havent started yet. Dont think I have the energy, but I will soon. Does anyone else feel detached from the world when your on pills. Like, unable to laugh, smile, have fun, get excited....I miss going out with my friends. Im scared they think Im not the same person cuz Ive been depressed and addicted for so long. Any advice. Will my mentality change. Will I feel happy again?
Best Answer
COMMUNITY LEADER
Then go to NA and cry your eyes out. You need to get involved with some sort of aftercare. Surrounding yourself with others who are clean will help. Your living arrangements are toxic right now so getting out and meeting new people would be good for you. Its okay to cry~~
Hey girl, I went to NA and balled like a baby. Addicts get it and no one judges you. I used to get pills from my mom and so I know that mess all too well.
Nothing and I mean nothing will ever get better while in active addiction. It's difficult because addicts are impatient. We are so used to feeling instantly better and healing is a slow process.
Some people heal quicker than others. We just need to accept our own journey.
As Gnarly said, it takes about 90 days so hang in there. Congrats on day 3.
That's 3 days of choosing you and not the pills!!!!!
Nothing and I mean nothing will ever get better while in active addiction. It's difficult because addicts are impatient. We are so used to feeling instantly better and healing is a slow process.
Some people heal quicker than others. We just need to accept our own journey.
As Gnarly said, it takes about 90 days so hang in there. Congrats on day 3.
That's 3 days of choosing you and not the pills!!!!!
You are on day 3. It is going to get better. I know it doesn't feel that way now but it will. Many people feel better before a year. You can expedite the process by exercising and reading the article below -- bottom right hand corner titled "Foods that increase Dopamine naturally".
Is your mom depressed because of the pills? I felt depressed the entire time I was taking the pills.
Is your mom depressed because of the pills? I felt depressed the entire time I was taking the pills.
Is rehab something you are able to do ? maybe you need to get away and clear your head
Thanks, everyone. My situation is I dont have a job right now. On one hand it makes it easier to lie around and do nothing while I recover but Im alone and bored and it makes me want a pill so bad. I did pills from June 2010 to September 2010 quit for a few weeks started again in October 2010 to December 2010 quit for a few weeks then January 2011 to March 2011 then I quit till July 2011 cuz I moved to Hawaii. Then I moved in with My mom and have been on them everyday since July 2011. This is day three of quitting. Its hard cuz the pills are in the other room. My mom is depressed and if I tell her Im addicted to her pills shell blame herself and I dont want to hurt her. Im so freaked out that its going to be a year before I feel like myself again. I cant believe I ruined this much of my life. I cry ALL THE TIME...my mom wants me to go out and get a job but I dont know how Ill get thru the day. All I want is to be better and see my ex. I know thats stupid but it does help for a short time. Its like a break from misery as long as I dont stay long enough for him to start hurting me again. Pathetic huh. Im so sad I just want to puke. Im so afraid Im gonna go to NA and start balling.
HI opiate gurl,how many days do you have now?I know it suks but is not brain damage and you will return to what you were before.You can do it.You are really in a good position with a place to stay and no major commitments while detoxing.Just keep going.
Ann,go to the gym first and then the energy will come after.Just go even if you do nothing but walk around and look.I also know there is a psychological component to going and feeling out of place.Don't worry they arent looking at you they are thinking about themselves and their problems also.
Ann,go to the gym first and then the energy will come after.Just go even if you do nothing but walk around and look.I also know there is a psychological component to going and feeling out of place.Don't worry they arent looking at you they are thinking about themselves and their problems also.
I haven't had a healthy relationship or friendship in years due to my opiate addiction. I felt I needed nobody. I've lost so many people. I've pushed everyone away. I went 5 days last week without it, relapsed over the weekend, but I have started over and am now on Day 2. I know where you're at. Your boyfriend sounds toxic. You'd be better without him. Recovery isn't fun, and it definetly isn't easy. Try and visualize being happy.......that's what I'm doing anyway.....hang in there.
I too screwed up my life. I lost a very high paying job and almost lost my husband. I have joined a gym but have only gone once. Trying to get the energy to go again. Hang in there. You need to do it this time. A life on pills is a dead end.
Here my point:I was a happy,fullfilled person w/a full social life,goals,plans I WAS SO HAPPY.By22 I somehow(I say somehow because my friends I had since I was11 werent taking a bunch of pills.I had been sort of the leader of the group&b4 I knew it I was hiding that I was taking xanax,lortab whatever pills my"new+seperate"group of friends had.Then I started withdrawl+avoid the people who had been n my life4ever+these girls were a part of my everyday life.My BF we grew up30ft from.each.other,she called my mom-mom.She spent6out of7days@my house.These girls weren't angels they did normal teen.experimentation I chose(4a reason I can't tell u cause I don't know)to avoid them constantly,lie as2.why I couldn't hang out,party w/losers instead.W/n a yr I had contact w/those girls,ditched the druggies4a new+everchanging group of LOSERS!!!I stopped trusting people(friends)cause Is convinced myself that4NO REASON THEY ABANDON MEIn a short period I lost all the friends who cared about me,lost my spark,sense of humor,positive attitude,goals,asperations.I messed up everthing.Just2b clear I'm not tryin2brag about myself just saying I was a happy,popular,motivated girl w/great friends+single handedly screwed up my WHOLE LIFE,DREAMS,GOALS+IT TOOK TIL 29 ALMOST 30 B4 I GOT MY BRAIN BACK.
DITCH THE LOSER BOYFRIEND,get off the pills,get aftercare,don't waste anymore of ur life,u will feel better(FYI if ur off the pills a while&r still depressed talk2ur Dr about AD MEDS.I did so many endorphine stealing pills4SO LONG so I take AD meds they help so much)I'm sry this is so long I just want u to know what u have2lose and how bad it *****.DON'T MAKE MY MISTAKES
DITCH THE LOSER BOYFRIEND,get off the pills,get aftercare,don't waste anymore of ur life,u will feel better(FYI if ur off the pills a while&r still depressed talk2ur Dr about AD MEDS.I did so many endorphine stealing pills4SO LONG so I take AD meds they help so much)I'm sry this is so long I just want u to know what u have2lose and how bad it *****.DON'T MAKE MY MISTAKES
Hey Girl your still in earlly recovery you will get better but it takes some time its one of the reasons N/A says 90 meeting in 90 days thats aprox how long it takes to get your brain chemistry back .....now you will start to feel better each week that passes but the best thing is hook up with N/A or one of the other support groups I believe in drinking whey protein shakes there loaded with vitamins ecential amino acids along with protein all of witch the brain needs to heal you can pick up a 2lb can at walmart for 15 bucks the chocolate flavor is good just mix it with milk drink 2 a day till you start to feel better this is not a quick fix but rather building blocks back to good health
you need to change up what you been doing because its not been working your on your 4th detox time to break free of this stuff once and forall I wish you all the best with your recovery good luck and God bless......Gnarly
you need to change up what you been doing because its not been working your on your 4th detox time to break free of this stuff once and forall I wish you all the best with your recovery good luck and God bless......Gnarly
Most of us feel detached when using.Not being happy,unable2smile classic symptoms of depression&the norm while using+very often post abuse.GET&STAY CLEN&U WILL B HAPPY AGAIN&no1can tell u exactly when u'll b 100%ur old self cause the amount,length of use.I uses through my20's,I just turned30a little over a month ago,been clean. Almost6months now.I COMPLETELY forgot.what it was like2not just b sober but b happy,smile just because,have ANY type of social life,sabotoged ALL my friendships(the1's that mattered anyways).I was always a social person,ALWAYS n a good mood,tons of friends,had a great sense of humor( daily I was so funny,quick wit).I was just a happy,glass half full,fun person2b around,the person people turned2when they needed2b cheered up or invited places cause I ALWAYS wanted everyone2n happy+have fun.
You will get your old self back after your system can replace/restore proper chemical balances once ur clean of the artificial ones...it is slow but it does get better....sorry for ur loss with the relationship, but like u said if it wasn't the pills it sounds like it would have been something....I have a similar situation with my wife (ex-wife) and we had been together over 20 years...we are still friends and still care about one another but we are just too toxic to be together...just keep coming here for support in those times of weakness and u will do fine....you have the right attitudevand the desire so run with that....good luck and I'll add you to my prayer list....
Mitakuye Oyasin tok sha...
n8tiv_ndnvv
Mitakuye Oyasin tok sha...
n8tiv_ndnvv
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You have to remember how opiates work, and why you feel depressed etc. when you quit taking them and after you are over the withdrawals.
Opiates bound to the opioid receptors in your brain and body. They release their artificial endorphins to them, and block the bodies natural endorphins. After a while the neurons that produce the body's natural endorphins disappear. There is no need for them so they just don't rejuvenate like they would normally.
When you stop taking the opiates, they leave your opioid receptors bare, and they are calling out for your body's natural endorphins, but there isn't any there at first. You body has to repopulate the neurons that make them, and this takes time.
Endorphins like dopamine control your moods, anxiety, sadness, anger, happiness, pain etc.
You will slowly get your "old self" back as these neurons repopulate and begin increasing their endorphins production. After being off the opiates for a month, they should be about 45-50% of normal, and be back to normal within a year.
So hang in there, you will feel better and better as the months roll by, and they roll by pretty darn quick when we get to our age, don't they!
Try keep busy and keep your mind focused on positive things instead of dwelling on the depression, anxiety, etc. that are only temporary and will disappear as your endorphins return to normal.
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