That is the nature of the disease man.. I remember you when you were here before.. How have you been?? We all do things we think are crazy later... For instance when I couldn't get my precious hydro I would use oxy.. moving up in the drug classes.. Crazy now.. but at the time it made perfect sense, just like you cold water extracting your pills..
I hope you continue to fight.. you will be in my thoughts
Hey don't beat yourself up over the things you did in your past. I don't know if you are sober now or not, but if you are try to forgive yourself. I did the same thing, beating myself up over stupid mistakes, and I ended up relapsing. That was over 3 years ago. While I was in treatment the second time i realized how important it was to forgive myself or I was never going to stay sober. Whenever I feel the shame come over me, I pray for God to remove all the shame and guilt, and I usually passes. I know I cannot stay sober if I am always feeling shame about my past actions and behaviors.
sorry that should have said 500mg of paracetamol per tablet not 5000mg