Oxicodon

Hi Everyone,

I am hoping someone can help me.  For the last year I have noticed some big changes in my daughter.  She is almost 20 and has gone through 2 years of college.  Still lives in a college town and tells us she is going to school and working 2 jobs.  At the end of the school year we found out that our daughter had used the money we gave her to pay for tuition for other things.  She couldn't really tell us what for. She also stayed and did not come home for the summer and told us she had a job, we later found out she didn't.  Everything that comes out of her mouth is a lie and she has probably gained about 40 lbs in the last couple of years.  Before she went to college she was a pretty responsible kid and had a job.  Now she is totally different and it is heartbreaking that she can't tell us the truth.  She has a boyfriend that is good to her and when I asked him if she is using, he said no.  We have taken her car and stopped giving her money until she can show us that she is working and paying for school.  We want to help her but I am afraid if we give her money she will use it to support a habit.  I am pretty sure she is on drugs and it may be oxicodon.  Can anyone that has dealt with this give me some feed back?  It would really help.

[BIKERDAD1963]

First off you really dont know if she is on drugs. There are a lot of things that could be going on with her. Once a child moves out on there own they change. They become there own person instead of the person they think the parents want them to be. The money may be going to the boyfriend. Maybe she got pregnant and had to deal with that. Who knows for sure but accusing someone for something before having the facts can be bad. If you are paying for college maybe you can tell her that she has to do drug testing or you will no longer pay. I do know that we have to let go of our children at some point so they can learn lifes lessons on their own and pray that they make it without to much harm. I really dont know what to tell you, if she is an addict there isnt anything anyone can do until she wants the help. Accusing an addict of being an addict doesnt usually help things much until they hit a point in there life when they want help. Good luck with this all and try to get some facts or just let it play out and deal with it then.

[MickisGirl]

If she dropped out of school and is telling lies about work and what she is spending money on then most likely she is doing drugs. You must suspect that because you talked about a specific medication. She has to be able to get honest with herself before she can get honest with you. Maybe you could get her home and sit her down and assure her that you want to help. How far away is she? Can you go get her? If you can get her home it may be early enough in her drug use to get her help before it gets out of hand.

[zoey99]

Thanks for the feed back.  I have already told her no matter what it is I will help and have asked her to come home on numerous occasions, but she doesn't want to leave.  She lives 2 hours away and I am not supporting her.  I have told her that we will support her if she can show me that she is going to school and that she is working.  She won't do it which tells me she is in trouble.  

[zoey99]

I appreciate your comments.  I have pretty much dropped the hammer on financial support, but she is some how living on her own.  I know her pretty well and think she is probably in some kind of trouble but I may have to let it play out like you say.  I just don't want her to get thrown in jail or getting hurt but it may have to come to that.