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Oxycodone - Am I an addict?

I'm a 38 year old mother of two.  I've been taking pain medication for close to 3 years.  Initially, I took the pain medication to get through cervical disc pain, but I found that I felt more in control and happy when taking the pills.  I've struggled with depression my entire life, have taken several antidepressant medications that never seemed to help.  The pain medication is the best antidepressant I've found.  I see two doctors to get prescriptions.  My husband has no idea.  I take approximately 20 5mg. oxycodone a day, or 10 10mg. a day.  I run out before I can get a new script from either doctor and am so depressed that I consider suicide every month.  The only thing from holding me back are my 2 daughters.  I am the only income in my household, so I feel like I can't take time off to seek treatment.  I have seen a few psychiatrists for help, only telling them that I take 3-4 pills a day.  I even went to an outpatient drug abuse clinic, but they felt that I didn't need any outpatient or inpatient help.  How can that be?  Am I not a pain med addict?  Am I just depressed?  If I'm just depressed, why don't antidepressants help?  The side effects are awful...it's a struggle to stay on them for the month or two required to take effect.  I have 2 days to wait until my next script for meds.  I have to go to work tomorrow, but I don't know how I'm going to get through it....
13 Responses
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1827057 tn?1397520277
Hi and welcome to the forum.This is a great place to get help on quitting these pills.First I want to say that in order to get the maximum help you need to go to the top middle part of  the page and click the orange bar that says"post a question". Then you will have your own thread and it will be seen by everyone and they will help.This thread you are posting on is an old thread and will be hard for people to see.
Tell us how long you have been using and if you are in good health other than the addiction issue.This can be done and there are lots of tricks and otc meds that can make it easier.  good luck to you
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Hi and welcome. You have posted on an old post.
Go to the orange "post a question" to start your own question. Top of the page.
Then more will be able to help you.
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
I am an oxycodone abuser. I take 10 15 mg oxycodone's per day. I started out only using what was prescribed to me but then the dose prescribed was no longer effective. Now I am fully addicted and scared. I feel sick everyday and have signs of liver damage. Please someone tell me how I can get help. I can't afford to go to rehab.  
Helpful - 0
214607 tn?1287677559
Yes you are an addict. And you need help. The amounts of pills you are taking is high. I am surprised you are getting that many pills. Please be careful, as ohio said, you can go to jail for dr.shopping or prescription fraud. So be careful.

You can get the help you need. Don't let a clinic tell you you dont need help. You do. No dr. in their right mind would prescribe 20 pills a day for depression. I mean, there are people who need to take pain pills for depression, but one or two not 20. No offense, please dont take this the wrong way, you are an addict but you can get help. Like I did, before its too late. Good luck....I mean that....
Helpful - 0
230262 tn?1316645934
youre playing a dangerous game getting Rxs from 2 different dr.s   I did that for awhile a year or so ago.....got caught, flagged by insurance company. Im lucky i didnt go to jail for doctor shopping. I was horrifed for a while when i wasnt sure what was going to happen. it was an excrutiating wait, not knowing. Please stop before you get caught...think of your 2 little ones.....what will happen to them if you are in jail (or worse yet, dead from an accidental drug overdose?). I had to ask  myself these questions as well. I also have 2 small children who are my everything.    
Helpful - 0
401095 tn?1351391770
one day u will get tired of worry about the pills..where and when they will come...2 doctors is not a good thing if they are not aware that the other is prescribing you narcotics and can be a cause for alarm.....unless u r clean with both of them...they can check this out on a computer system and see every drug u fill if they wanted to,,,most do not go thru the trouble...addictive behavior is when u do not take the pills for the reason prescribed nor at the dose prescribed...ur dose is not high compared to most and it is not too late for u to consider getting off of them....u will have 2 days clean til ur next refill?....only took 4-5 days for the worst of my physical wds to pass...may be something to think about..keep posting
Helpful - 0
229538 tn?1300377767
You are not alone with taking opioids for depression .Its been a dark secret thats coming to light now . I also was doing the same thing .The problem is that its a short term solution to a long term problem . I take Lexapro now and klonopin at nights if needed . Has worked wonderful until my knee was  operated on and thats were my problems started. Taking vicodin 10/500 3 times a day and you can read my other post and see what im going threw.  Best  Jim
Helpful - 0
572565 tn?1222047611
Hey, that's how I got started. I used to (about 5 years gao) get Rx's for 10mg Oxycodoe and 10Mg. Hydrocodone. I liked the Hydro's the best, but they would only come in 10's. So, the doctors I was seeing switched me to 15mg. Oxycodone and then the Fentyle patched (150mcg.) None of that worked for a long enough time, and, like you, my depression was relieved when I took pain meds. Alway Happy and talkative. Smiles and jokes. But, when the pills wore off, man, what a come-down. I wanted to jump out a window. Valium made me even more depressed and antidepressants just put me to sleep and nothing worked. Nothing, until a big dose of pain meds. Then, I found Oxycontin. A time released, all day pill. I went to a physical therapist my doctor suggested and they told me. "Crush them up and snort them" You'll see". So, I did, and now, I have a scrip for 90, 80mg. Oxy's a month and am so hooked that I wish I never started. I'm cutting down by myself and am hoping that a little at a time will eventualy get me off the damn things. You know, I understand ALL of what you're going through and can only suggest one thing right now... LEXAPRO. Yes, this anti-depressant is the best for people like us. Try it for about 3 weeks and you will see a HUGE difference. I promise.
COZMO
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Thank you, Medic1...I appreciate your help and support.....
Helpful - 0
424839 tn?1268186246
one more thing depression is a side effect of the W/D
Helpful - 0
424839 tn?1268186246
if not addicted It sounds if you are dependent on them. that will lead to acciction and the malidaptive behavior that comes with it. If you are wanting to quite a good way is to try and tapper your next script there are many on here that have done that and would be willing to help set up a schedule to help. also you need to have someone you can trust hold on to them so you don't "cheat". You can bet this! you have to want to quite I am sure you do since you are here look up the thomas recipe on this site it has help alot of people on here and keep posting it will give you an out let were you won't be judged. keep posting and good luck.  It is going to be a fight and it is going to suck but trust us we have been there and we know it is better life on the other side

Medic1
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Thank you for your message, Coolio.  I try to think the same thing a few days before my next script.  I just feel so overwhelmed...where minutes literally feel like hours.  Days seem like weeks.  Do you suffer from depression too?
Helpful - 0
175734 tn?1225134440
I know that when i run out and have a couple days to wait for pills I try to look at it as a positive thing.....Alot of it is mental......You know the pills are coming so try to tell yourself that you are gonna be fine. Also when you start to run out...do them every other day...You will run out any way but it makes it not so bad.....
Helpful - 0
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