Oxycodone and Pregnancy

[Nette]

I suffered second & third degree burns on my right arm in an accident in my home on June 1st, 2001.  I am pregnant and my due date is November 4th.  Since the accident I've been taking 5mg oxyir cap (oxycodone).  I took eight capsules per day during June, as well as two oxycontin tablets per day and since mid-July I've taken five capsules of 5 mg oxyir cap per day for pain.  No skin graphs have been done on the wound.  I clean the wound each day with dial anti-bacteria soap and dress the wound with 1% silver sulfadiazine cream.  I've had no other complications related to my pregnancy.  I will be forty years old September 6th and this is my first baby.

The area is not going to be healed before my due date; therefore, unless surgery is performed I will still be taking the oxycodone when my baby is born.  I am very concerned about having surgery at this point due to the risk of premature labor and since the recovery time would be about six weeks which means I would still require pain medication until about two to four weeks before my due date.  My doctors do not seem to know how the use of oxycodone will affect my baby if I continue to use the medication near or through my due date.

Is there any research on the effects of oxycodone on a new born whose mother has taken the medication as I have during pregnancy?  At this point would surgery provide enough benefits to my baby to justify all the risks involved in the surgical procedure and recovery period?  Are there any other alternatives in my treatment to help ensure the health of my baby?

[jennyfla]

Hi Nette,



Look up perscription drugs as a search, i know there's a website that gives you particulars on effects that drugs have as they relate to pregnancy.

I do not believe, in your low doses, that you are causing any harm to your unborn baby (this is only my opinion).  I believe that opiates have a very low (cross-over through the placenta) capacity.

How things like cocaine, speed, and drugs such as these, they are extremely dangerous for the unborn fetus.

Your doctor should be able to give you reassurance at least, he/she should know how to handle your situation best!

Good luck, that must be so difficult battling your burns and going through pregnancy, preparing for a newborn at the same time.

Jenny

[Witchywoman]

I agree with Jenny, that it is best to ask your Obgyn doctor these questions. An MD will better be able to answer what the medical impact on the baby would be.

With that said, I will say that a few months ago at work, I attended a training at work on pregnancy and drug abuse. The Doctor who gave this training did say that if a woman is taking hydrocodone (vicodin) during her pregnancy, that the baby will be born physically dependant, and will have to undergo uncomfortable withdrawals after birth.  I don't know for sure if the same holds true for oxycodone, but I would assume that it does.

But..definately check with your doctor, and best of luck to you..keep us posted!



WW

[cindi]

Hi  the girls are right   check with you ob doc but when I was six months preg. with my first I was in a severe care accident  some old lady ran a red light,  I had a concussion etc...My doc put me on Lorcet or Vicodin ES I can't remember he said this late in the game I need not worry about the baby  (easy for him to say )  like the girls said   check with your ob....please keep us posted and let us know when that little gift arrives....I had mine late   I was 33 and 37... I wanted one more but I think I'll stop while I'm ahead...good luck to you    love to all   cin

[Witchywoman]

Good morning...

I had such a wierd and scary dream last night. I dreamed I went to the Doctor's and was given a full bottle of percocet (not sure why percocet..I never took that one). In the dream I held the bottle and looked at the pills, trying hard to fight the urge to take one.  I woke up, and couldn't go back to sleep, but was relieved that it was only a dream.



Is this normal? I mean, is it common to dream about using again when you are trying to stay clean?



I'm hoping my sleep cycle gets back to normal soon. I go back to work (after 3 months off post surgery) a week from today, and I normally need a full 8 hours to function at my best. In the past, I'd knock myself out with vicoprofen before bed, and sleep through the night, but I'm not going to choose that option anymore.  How long till normal sleep tends to return?



Sending you all love and light,



WW

[jule1]

How are you doing Cindi, I have been thinking about you and hope you are doing better this week!  Have a happy day!

[cindi]

Hi ladies,,,Jbear,,   I'm still here,,,tired and very busy,,,I get cranky when things get chaotic LOL  I like my life simple and normal....thanks for thinking of me...and WW,  Yes it is entirely normal to have "using dreams"  i had one not very long ago.....pisses me off..LOL   it varies for each person as to how long before your sleep cycle is normal....can you try some natural herbs such as KAVA KAVA or Valerian root?  I have also used Melatonin with fairly good results....have a great evening    Love cin

[skipper]

Hey there:

I haven't used a needle in 20 years, and just the other night

I dreamed I was shooting coke and black tar heroin (speed-balls).

Ich, I hate coke (even in a speedball),the way that only some-one

else who's been there can. Even so, here I'm casing after that

old icy girl. I usally wake up in a cold sweat. I think this is quite common among recovering. Don't let it bother you, just keep

moving. Hope you are thru the worst of WD's.

Keep an angel on your shoulder

kip

[Thomas]

There must be some doctors out there who have had to deal with something like what you're going through. You can't be the first pregnant woman to be badly burned or otherwise injured in an accident ... that said I would imagine that, besides the physical dependance, a doctor's big concern at delivery would be the suppression of the baby's breathing by the narcotics. At the same time, they gave my wife several demerol shots (ahh demerol, you're just a distant but o so fond memory ...) and it didn't seem to complicate my son's birth. It's possible they might require you to taper down, despite the pain, before delivery, if only to make sure you're baby could breath when he made his debut. One thing, at least, opiates are well-known to be virtually benign in terms of their effect on the body. There aren't many drugs you can say that about. So, at least I wouldn't worry about causing birth defects such as would be the case if you were drinking or doing crack. Be glad in a way it's an opiate and not something else. Good luck. I hope you find the answer.



Thomas

[Witchywoman]

Thanks Cindi..I think I will try valerian tonight. I still have four of the 10 valiums I had scrounged up for my detox, but I don't want to take them for sleep, 'cause I'm worried that will just delay my body's natural sleep process from returning, and I also am terrified of developing a benzo dependance  lol I know I won't get dependant with only 4, but after the withdrawals I've just been through..I don't want to ever experience anything like that ever again.



Would taking a benzo to help me sleep for the next few nights delay my body's own natural sleep cycle from returning?



I know I've said this before...but I'll say it again just to be loud and obnoxious about it...YOU GUYS ARE THE BEST!



love,

WW

[cindi]

I agree wholeheartedly with Thomas about the birth defects..opiates are not known for causing defects. check out the website Rxlist.com  they may have a pregnany category  like category f would be hormones etc..benzodiazapenes Valiuum etc...I think opiates are a cat.c  I'm not sure....i lived with the PDR when I found out I was pregnant I had been on dalmane for sleep and vicodin for pain,,,I quit immediately.....but was so nervouse..like thomas said they may ask you to cut back before delivery..I really think the both of you will be fine......love to all  cin.

[Kristen]

Thanks so much for all the support....I haven't had time to post as much, but I'm reading every day and am so happy you all are here.  



WW, I am still having trouble sleeping and its been 24 days for me....It did just occur to me that taking something to sleep probably does interrupt your normal sleeping pattern....so try and get through these nights without anything, then if your not sleeping at all, maybe take the valium.  I take a tylenol PM occassionally, and they make one called "sleepy time" without the tylenol that works for me too...and its not addictive.



As far as the dreams everyone.....oh god, they are the worst.... that is VERY normal....I have had some CRAZY ones lately about using...but when I wake up, I'm SOOO glad they are just a dream.



Hang tough everyone....hope everyone has a WONDERFUL day  :)

~kristen~

[mickytim]

Thanks WW for your welcoming me.



Since I have been taking herbs and other vitamins for years, I found that they are like any other drug or drink but better for you. YOU MUST BELIVE IN THEM!! not everything works for everyone but there are enough out there to help you. If you pick up the Natrual Healing book at most stores, you will find a world of new ideas to try in herbs but, again, you have to give them time, faith, and alittle trust would'nt help.



Most times the effects are graduale and as humans we want it NOW!

But one day you will go HEY! I FEEL GOOD, then you will see results.



OR you sit there and go it's not working yet, it's not working yet, looking at your watch every two secs tapping your foot.



The best way for them to work is to work with them, breath deep close you eyes and think Dirty, sorry I mean happy thoughts. You will see a difference.



Thanks again WW good luck!



mickytim

[jule1]

I am so proud of you!  You are really doing great!!! I had promised myself I would call for help yesterday and never did it.  I was having a good day and I knew I would get very upset when I started making those phone calls.  I do not think you were here when I first came on but what led me to this forum was trying to get help I called 2 pain addiction therapists who did not know about Ultram and I called two rehad hospitals that told me they could not help me with Ultram then I called NA they gave me 2 numbers of support people 1 number was disconnected and the other one the person did not speak english I just cried all day that day I was so ready to get help then I came here.  I have been cutting down but I know I need help.  My whole famil has addiction tendancies its a good thing no one drinks  I can only imagine what holidays would be like if they did because I have 6 brothers and sisters .  Thanks for being here to write to I will really need our help when I am ready to totally quit.  I hope everyone is having a great day.

WIZ - Are you around?  Miss you!

J.B. How are you feeling?

[J.B. to Brian and Vicky]

Thanks!  I'm doing really good today.  My energy level is going up and I'm sleeping normally again.  I've been able to stay out of bed and keep busy lately.  Today I'm going to cut down some dead trees, fire up the backhoe and try to clear about an acre of brush.  How does that sound?



About the Ultram. I was only on it for one month and found it to be about as effective as Aleve.  My new doctor wouldn't prescribe it to me saying that it could cause problems.  Instead he RX'd Vicodin.  Later I found out that many people become addicted to Ultram severely.  I also heard that addicts should not use it. At any rate, it's been discussed here many time in the past year and I'm certain that someone can point you in the right direction.  Thomas for instance?



This is off the topic but I am concerned with my growing tolerance to painkillers(narcotics).  I talked with my PCP last week about it and he simply increased my dosage.  I have a feeling that a controlled release type med would be better.  Any suggestion would be of help to me.  J.B.

[jennyfla]

Jules, i'm so sorry you are feeling so lost and trapped, or am i talking about myself! :(

I'm trying to be here for people, but i am having a hardtime even posting lately, i'm just in a depression.  I have my parents driving down from NJ arriving sunday, and i'm nervous about all that.  Right now me and the hub are not getting along.

I plan to quit soon too, after my parents leave, hopefully i will get the nerve to do this.  I'm so afraid of the depression, it scares me to death!

Good luck girl!

Lv Jenny

[jennyfla]

I haven't been very talkative lately, sorry i have been here to support some of you in your difficult times, i'm just having a hard time getting through each day right now.

I have my parents coming to visit Sunday, we are taking the kids to disney world, so i won't be around at all next week.  I just hope we can pull this off without them catching on to how much of a mess our life really still is.

Whenever i am in withdrawals, i completely loose it, can't handle life at all.  I get so out-of-control i can't even control my emotions.  Everything and anything gets me so mad, i just lash out!!!  Once in a while, i get a little flash of how i used to see things before i began using drugs.  I remember feelings a certain way about things, etc. etc.  The closest i can come to that is when i am alittle high, but when i am in withdrawal, everything looks dead and horrible.  This is scaring me incredibly because i don't know how in the world i cam going to get through the rough part!  My husband seems to think it is easy because he did it in rehab.  Plus, he's using again, so what does he know anyway.  As you can probably tell, our relationship is just going wonderfully, NOT!!!!

I'm getting my abdominal pain again too, which scares me.  The dr i saw back a while ago thought that i might have mild pancreatitis.

Also, my 18-month old just figured out how to get out of the playpen, so my homelife is very hectic now.  Just trying to keep her out of trouble is a fulltime job,not to mention being responsible for doing EVERYTHING in that house!

My little one starts daycare (fulltime) on the 17th of september.  She's been with me at work since she was 6-weeks old, and this is going to break my heart.  I cry just thinking about it.  I don't know how i'm going to cope without having her with me, she's been my company (i work alone for the most part --which is the worst thing for me, but the job pays more than any other job would get close to paying in this area).  Plus, i'm going to be heartbroken without seeing her grow up all throughout the day.  Right now she's telling me about the rain rain outside, i'm going to miss so much!

I don't know how i'm going to cope with the upcoming months, my husband doesn't seem to be very supportive, at least in the way i need.  He thinks he is, and maybe it's just me, these are things i can't figure out, i feel like i am actually going crazy!  I can't even trust my judgement anymore.  My husband thinks i'm crazy, and can't figure me out, i just go off!!!!  I think,mentally, i am just so tired.  I had so many hopes that my husband's rehab would work for him, i have guilt that i was still using when he returned home, i just don't know what to think anymore!

Thanks for listening.  I've been reading posts, but can't seem to find the words of encouragement or courage to cheer you guys on.  I'm just so impressed with all of you that have beat this demon and right on each day, so VERY impressed.  For those of you still stuggling, you are not alone, and you day will come when you find the strength needed to beat this!

Love to all, Jenny

[mickytim]

We are impressed with you, no one told me when I was young life was hard, you seem to be juggling a big load. Take a step back and laugh at Mickey, and Goofy and your kids in Disney, they say laughter is the best medicine.



You sound like a great mom have FUN!!!!



mickeytim

[jennyfla]

Thank you for your words of encouragement!  My 18-month old is making is practically impossible to even get any typing done at all!!!  Maybe it's good she starts daycare in 2-weeks!

I need more time to concentrate on ME anyway, and what i have to accomplish for ME!

Disney will be fun, but i know i have to take pills in order to 'make it', and i hate the thought of NEEDING them and taking them around my parents (something i used to be able to get away with not doing -- before i became so physically addicted).

Have you ever typed on a keyboard after a sticky one-year as been at with armed with a lollipop?  It's a weird sensation!!!!!  Ha, i still have a little humor in this tired, sick soul!!!!!

Thanks again!

Lv Jenny

[jule1]

Hey girl. My one year old loves the rain too!  He loves to jump in the puddles one the deck.  How do your parents feel about your husband?  I really get the feeeling that he is totally a hinderance to you getting better.  It seems like you put all your energy into him but that is what we women care takers do.  I know its easier for me to say than for you to do but maybe you should take a step back and look what he is doing to you and your family.  At least with your addiction you have held down a job and taken care of your children. Has he done anything to help?  NO!  It doesn't make him a bad person but maybe he needs a little scare.  Anyway i just know how hard it is for me with a husband who helps and has a good job and I only have one child.  I just want the best for you!!  I really wish there was something I could do for you I am better at taking care of other people than i am myself.  Good luck!  Love Jules

[Wizard]

I'm alive and well Jules, thanks for asking and missing me. I just popped in and saw your post. I've taken a bit of a back seat here for personal reasons but I haven't fallen off the face of the earth. I am so proud of all of you and the accomplishments that have been made and are being made in view of the tremendous "Dragon/Demon" that we face on a daily basis. I always said that if it wasn't for the "angels" on this forum being here for me when I reached out, I would have never made it. Well, I see the "Angels" are still here giving the love and support that I've never seen the likes of anywhere else. Some of the names have changed but the stories still ring with familiar pain and devastation that the "Dragon" brings to everyone in it's path. The one thing that the "Dragon" can't do though is to destroy the HOPE that the forum brings or the love and compassion that accompanies the "Angels" here, Alumni or Newbies alike. (I consider some of us Alumni)I mentioned above that I have backed off a bit for personal reasons and after writing this I feel I owe you the truth. The truth is what I always found here and what I have always given back so here the long and short of it. Part of my successful recovery depended on my connection to this forum. During the very rough times I stayed glued to the screen, writing and reading in addition to e-mails back and forth with my closest "Angels". Having an addictive personality it wasn't long before I began to live and breathe logging on at the expense of neglect to the most important thing in my life and that was my family. You see, now that I have been released from the jaws of the "Dragon" not only do I like myself better but so does my wife and children. I now have the most wonderful obligation of making up for lost time..years worth of lost time. I look forward to waking up each and every morning now to see what the day has in store for me. Good or bad doesn't matter because now I FACE it with a clear mind and spirit. I don't even hear the "Dragon Whispers" much anymore and when I do I just laugh in its face. Not only do I WANT to live life to its fullest now, I AM LIVING life to its fullest. I now wish I had more hours in the day to LIVE and FEEL.

To EVERYONE here I say: There is HOPE, there is LIGHT and there is LIFE after addiction......NEVER give up and NEVER quit walking the path towards the LIGHT of FREEDOM. I may have passed the "torch" of every day posting, but I will never forget the LOVE, SUPPORT and PRAYERS that the "Angels" here have afforded to me. I shall continue to pop in now and then but with or without me the forum goes on (thank you Susanlea for that part)and the LOVE and SUPPORT continues. Last and foremost none of the above would have been possible without the Divine intervention of God leading me here and giving me the strength to forge onward. To all my friends I apologize for writing a book, but as my friends I know you understand. God Bless and Keep you all. You are forever in my thoughts and prayers.

Power & Magick 2 U ALL,

Peace & Light 2 U 2,

Much Love and Rainbows,

Wizard    

[jennyfla]

Hi Jules,

You're always so sweet!

I just don't know what the answer is.  I feel like i am almost dragging him down, how sick is that!

The guilt is incredible.  He went through rehab, came home to his addict wife.  Not that i planted that first oxy in his truck, or stuck the needle in his arm, but he quick to blame me for still having MY habit upon his return home.

What a mess!

Lv Jenny

[susanlea]

Just remember Wiz.  You may not always see us, and you may not always hear from us.  But your Angels are always here......I love you and your free spirit.....Susan

[jule1]

I am so incredibly happy for you and your family. Your wife is a lucky woman to have a husband like you as are your children to have a father like you.  I wish everyone tht comes to this forum could read your last post I think it could give help to so many people.  Your words are like poetry!! Best wishes, lots of love to you and your family!

JENNY - When do your parents come?  How is your husband behaving on a day to day basis?  I really think you are being too hard on yourself you need to remember that you have kept your family together during this whole mess.  You were a single mom when your husband was in rehab and I am not so sure things have changed.  Please give yourself a little more credit!!!  I know we can both kick this.(((((((HUG))))))))))

[jennyfla]

Hi Wiz,

All we ever hope to expect out of everyone on this forum is that someday they will find inner happiness and peace with their lives; and it looks like you are well on your way to finding that for yourself, if not fully there already!  You're post really made me smile, it's so nice to hear such a wonderful successful story from such a wonderful person!

Just remember, even if you aren't here often, if at all, your words will forever echo in my mind.  You'll never know how much you've helped me, even though i've not beaten it yet, but i've gathered some important tools to do the job!

I'm gearing up, i'll be running out of pills soon anyway, with no way of replenishing the supply.  That's how i have to do it, just run out and deal with it!

Best of luck to you!

Email me anytime good friend!

Lv Jenny

[Kristen]

That story was great....thanks so much....I'm still battling this sobriety thing....I havent taken any pills in 27 days, but my personal life is a wreck and im wanting to cover up my pain so bad....I just wondered how long you have been sober and how are you staying sober and happy?????....you wife is a lucky woman!!!!!

[Witchywoman]

Wiz my friend,

You have been such a life line..Your commitment to life, love, and joy is a major role model for me. May the love that you spread return to you always ten fold my friend.



love,

WW

[Wizard]

Kristen, congrats on the 27 days! You hang in there because the best is yet to come. I've been sober since April 29th, 2001 and just knowing that I do not have to feel the anxiety of where or how am I going to get my next supply of opiates to feed the "Dragon" is a big key in staying sober. I NEVER WANT TO BE A SLAVE AGAIN......another thing is SEX IS WONDERFUL AGAIN! LOL...... and I am the one who is lucky to have my wife. I have been blessed to have a family who loves me unconditionally and now knowing what I put them through, I will never do that to them again...That thought by itself is enough to stay a warrior in the face of the "Dragon".

To my friends, after reading your responses to my post yesterday, I want to thank you for making me cry and blubber at my desk at work in front of my employees and all!!!! You "Angels" are without a doubt the finest people that I have had the honor of interacting with in my entire life. I love each and every one of you unconditionally! May Divine love shine upon you all for eternity.

Power & Magick 2 U,

Peace & Light Upon U 2,

Love Wizard

[mickytim]

Jenny Jenny 3679305 Sorry, got lost for a second in a song!!

Yes I have and that little girl is now 14. And yesterday had me in tears because I and her Mom, my X, who, I have a fantastic relastionship with, decided that she needs be with her Mom, even though, it means moving her to NY from PA. We split her each week in PA, sat through 3 interviews for private schools even though she hated being there.  She sat upright and was the vision of the most beautful, poised, articulate person, that she not only blew us away, but blew them away and all want her now.

so jenny, yes I've had the lollypops and poop squirted all over me and the throw-up on my best suites as I was walking out the door, BUT YESTERDAY WAS WORTH EVERY MINUTE OF IT,



Have a great time in FLA and remember laughter threw your childs eyes can change and strengthen you, it has for me.



mickytim

[mickytim]

SO SORRY THAT'S 8675309 Don't know where my brain was at,



Hope you and all had a great day

[Milo]

Wiz,

No matter where life leads us, know that you will have my true, heartfelt gratitude until the day I die. You have given so much to so many people on this forum, including me. Your encouragement meant the world to me when I was going through my crisis. Just knowing that someone who understood was thinking about me and cared how I was doing was a tremendous help. Since then I have seen you share wonderful, wise, encouraging, and inspirational messages with more people here than I can count. I'm glad you're free of the dragon, and hope the old ******* gets tired of bothering you and moves on! I fully understand your need to shift your attention to your family now, and in a way it's kind of neat to see someone "graduate" or become an "alumnus" of the forum as you put it. But we will miss you. I hope you're able to drop by from time to time, but if not, go peacefully, secure in the knowledge that your time here was very, very well spent. --- your brother Milo

[mickytim]

I second that( Thanks to you to Milo )



Peace



mickytim

[jennyfla]

I've heard that Jenny Jenny song so many many times, but it was during a fun time in my life (around '82 or so), so it brings back good memories.  I still lived at home, and was dating my current husband.

Hope you are doing better, i've been on vacation, visiting mickey and goofy, and yes, i had a BLAST!!!!!!!!!

Now back to reality; work, keeping up with the house, dealing with my husband moods, keeping up with my habit (UGH!), it just never stops!

I hope that you are feeling better about life!  Try to not look back so much, you can't change things that have already happened.  Look towards your future, and all the wonderful possibilities for happiness out there ahead of you!  You seem like you have the right attitude, you just need to stop beating yourself up so much over things that you can't change!

Prayers for happiness!

Lv Jenny

[mickytim]

Jenny, I'm so glad to see you had a great time with the family, It's funny cause you almost need a vacation from the vacation. I'm also glad I can make ya smile ( You'll get my bill later ). Things have been going so good, that I just have not even had time to check posts.



Thanks for all the kind and strong words about beating myself up, although I can look past so much of it, it always pops up when I let myself drift ( which I work hard on not doing ).  



Right now I've got my business starting up, and I am working so hard to work through the pain in my body, and focus my thoughts on so many things , alittle reinforsment everyonce in awhile from my friends never hurts.



Thank you again for thinking about me!



Stay strong and all the power of the day to ya!



peace

mickytim

[jennyfla]

Definately sounds like things are looking up for you! :)

Hopefully, the good thoughts will continue and become more and more frequent and eventually overpower all those sad feelings and memories for you.  Just keep staying focused on the future and what is important to you.  We are all here to support eachother; a great place to turn too when the 'bad thoughts' start to take over!

I kind of wish it were just ME i was so worried about.  I seem to have this 165 lb being (laying on the couch in the living room at the moment) that constantly beats me down day after day after day.  I'm trying to be careful what i wish for, i love him dearly, but he's really pulling me down and it's so painful.

I seem to always have the weight of everything on my achey (achy) shoulders (literally), and the weight just gets so overwhelming some days!

Good luck with your business!!! :)

Lv Jenny

[mickytim]

Jenny, thanks for your vote of confidence, I am trying really hard to change things, see I've got these really cool people who seem to like me as a person without even meeting me, and they gave me this outstanding advice about being to hard on myself, even though I'm trying not to.



Well one of them has this problem, and she really could use the great advice that she gave me!  Well I think she also needs to know that she is a very strong woman. And as a strong woman she is dependable, loving, caring, gives of herself unconditionaly, and does'nt need a man ( even though it's nice to wake up next to a warm hinny ) who does'nt support her, listen to her, offer her advice without judgement, helps her be a strong person without controlling her, but let's her makes mistakes and is there to let her cry on his shoulder if need be, looking at her with only love.



I can only offer this advice to her, you do not need a man for valadation in your life.  I, let the person who means more to me than anything to my heart go this year because, I did not feel that they were getting from me the best that life has to offer anymore, because I have to many problems with my addiction, and the pain in my body, and have to work on getting better right now, That's love , letting go,and you know what? Now she loves me even more because I made a sacrifice, my missery for her happiness, unconditionaly. She loves me unconditionaly, and I don't take advantage of that.



Jenny you don't need things that bring you down only things that bring you up.



Stay strong, all the power and strength we can send to you!



peace

mickytim

[jennyfla]

wow, i wish i had your guts!

just sitting here at work, my daughter is driving me nuts.  I'm afraid that my boss will show up any minute with his boss, they couldn't get a flight back and rented a car.  his boss is from california, and we are in florida.  he doesn't know i take the baby to work (ugh!)

Your words were very powerful.  I'm afraid i'm weaker than you think!

Tim will tell!

Lv Jenny

[mickytim]

Jenny, no no no you are not weaker than I think.  You or Kristen, or Katie, or even WW, You must realize that strength comes from within.  If you think your weak you will be, but you aren't you know how I know! You where young and had all these dreams, You married and had all these dreams, You had a baby and had all these dreams, You started working and you had all these dreams, And I will bet any amount of money that drugs or addiction were not in any of them. I'll bet that pain wasn't part of any of them.



You can't give up on these dreams, ok we all have setbacks I do to, who ever thought I would become disabled at 40, life was going so good, waking up and not being able to move my legs wasn't in the picture.  It's only been 3 years, three years in a lifetime, I still have 60 years left in me.  See you do to, you have plenty of time left.



Now to the kids, You know my shame as an adult, it's always there, but now i'm using it to change me, you can to, so can your husband. If you think your the only one who has had money problems, **** I lost 2 houses,  fully paid for, to the same woman 3 times, it's along story but, I'm not rich, no one gave me a penny, I worked my butt off, was in dept up to my ears, thank god for equity ( check out the equity in your home it may make it easier to get a loan  or to buy points down ) Even through my coke addiction in the 80's, I worked like a dog to make my kids life better than mine ever was, even through my depression and suicede attempt and my accident in 86, I found my way to work even harder to get clean, 10 years. I started excercising and running, no matter how bad it hurt I had a kid and a wife and a goal!



Jenny, read some books, mags, find a roll model to look up to and see what it took for them to change their lifes. Pray each day five times if needed and thank God for what you have, and for the life you brought into this world. Be that roll model for your kid, ( read Body for life by Bill Phillips) it will inspire you to change



Use everyone on this post, it won't be easy but, slowly the changes will come, slowly people will see them, slowly your kid will see a fun, life, loving mom who doesn't yell or let things make her mad any more, and she will be the one who can't keep up!

My kid sees a different person from the guy 5 months ago, and yours will to, Don't take me to the park, or Disney she can't keep up with me, now we challange each other to little goals and races, YOU CAN DO IT TO!!!



Give into it, the addiction, the pain, the shame. It will be the start of something big.



All of you can, strength and all the power of the day to you!!



peace Jenny



mickytim