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1064998 tn?1254939045

Oxycontin WD - 4th day-helpme

Im barely able to type right now.  I went on a trip to a remote house boat with freinds and discovered what WD really are. I'd been using oOxycontin up to 300 mg a day for about 2 years and while on the trip i thought it would be ok to break my 40 mg pills into 4ths and take them because i was running out with no chance of refill before the trip.  The WD started and the whole 4ths of a pill thing was out the window. They were gone before the first night and my freind had to confine me into a room of the house boat while they said i had seizures, screaming, begging to die, not sleeping in days until i was given Ketamine which is a drug i'd usually abused in the past and was familiar with but i'm not sure if it was a good idea or not becuase while in a K-hole i was able to stop the crazy leg shaking etc, but still felt everything jsut the same ( only being imobilized).  
Made it home, its day 4
my eyes are crazy dialeted still, my mind works but i cant communicate really yet without my voice shaking. i'm trying to eat ( the first night i puked like 30 times) but my stomach HURTS after. My skin is crawling.

I took the oxy in the first place because i have severe rhumetoid arthritis.
what do i do?
can i really ride this out here at home w/ my bf?(who was up for the whole time and is exhausted) - feeling better but thats not really saying much because i feel like HELL.
HELL!

how many days will this go on?
please
130 Responses
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Avatar universal
Long time, glad to  hear your still kicking. Vics are a waste of time once you have an opiate tolerance. There may be so holistic treatments you can look into.
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
( oh and this is meg 579 w/ the pic i jsut had to sign up again cuz i forgot the password etc. hahahahah so this is the starter of this topic. )
thank u guys
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
hi, i havnt been on i a bit,been doing badly - NOT USING but just depressed - beyond belief - probably 2 1/2 months now since the 1st day of WD - and i have ups and downs, mainly downs - got some vicodin but they dont really help the pain they just make me get WD chills so its stupid. and i dont get many so its a constant pain existance now~! im eating better(i ate HORRIBLE w/ candy and pizzas through the WD and i'm a strict uber healthy vegetarian so cheese pizzas and choc was starting to make me feel like lard crap! i can't beleive people eat that stuff everyday normaly its crazy!) but i can't bring myself to exersicce yet, the pain in my bodys overwhelming and makes me breakdown crying, then cursing my Rhumetoid and screaming for it to just leave my body so i can get on w/ my life!But it wont ever do that, so this is turning into a psychologic dilema i suppose.
i'm having nightmares and generaly feel horrible all the time. its hard to get out of bed or talk, i just feel like i've givin up on being normal. not that what my routine was high on oxy was normal - but at least i did stuff. now i do nothing. and i have stuff to do that i've neglected bad and am in troubles w/ bills and stuff. i duuno the will to do ANYTHING has escaped me. is that normal?
i dunno i still dont want more oxy - i have flashbacks to WD's and honestly they keep coming back in waves that are strong a few times a day so its a constant reminder of it. to f' that - now my minds just searching for ' why me? why me?'
which is dumb
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Please know that there is alot of us out there your posts have helped so much...wondering too how your doing? Please update us, I keep tracking your progress to help me get through mine....helps knowing people know how bad we really feel each day as this battle goes on!
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
so how are you doing now? i read all your post and im curious to where you are now in your recovery? Please update us all when you can! thanks hope your feeling normal again!
Helpful - 0
1064998 tn?1254939045
i know what a shtstorm of bad that would have been!
walkign around makes my calves and back hurt real bad
plus i have no movitvation today :(
mabye i should take my thyrozine and b-12
Helpful - 0
495284 tn?1333894042
COMMUNITY LEADER
Thank god it was just a test......Try and get up and move if you can.
Helpful - 0
1064998 tn?1254939045
the second i hit send - the fire alarms just went off in the apartment - i have 2 furry kids that are my soul and in so sick - my *** ran up and searched ran outside to check for smoke out there, then heard a voice say " its just a test everyone sorry"
holy ****

i guess i can get out of bed...
i dont feel good i gotta lay down again
Helpful - 0
495284 tn?1333894042
COMMUNITY LEADER
Just keep holding on.  I know this is really wearing on you but one of these days it will get better.  You can do this........sara
Helpful - 0
1064998 tn?1254939045
i didnt get my rag for like 4 months, now i just got it yesturday and i'm super sick ontop of being super WD sick still,
now i know my rag did stop cuz of the oxy overload -
im at a month now and i feel like ****
still chills and hot skin coming back, mood swings and going nuts, now my stomachs really really really really crazy sick -im trying so hard not to give up
so hard
this is getting hard :(
its been a month my brains starting to crack -
Helpful - 0
1064998 tn?1254939045
hi,

its about 3 weeks, im in so much physical pain that this mental fatigue seems worse, i'm obsessing but i can just lay here and not move cuz moving hurts. went out the other night and now my calves and back are insainly painfuly when i try to walk, ( all hunched over like im 80)
i hope this will pass too because im not sure how i can reassociate w/ society or much less leave my house in pain like this
i dunno i also get really mad then i spent all day and night yesturday crying. i'm almost suicidal but i can't think about whats wrong - i know i jsut am not having that many '' thoughts'' - even trying to make food made me break down crying - all the steps were too overwhelming.
i was really depressed as a teenager - i feel that way again. i'm trying to remind myself its the PAWS but i get swept up often now and its getting hard.
ya " J' if someone had an oxy i'd probably swollow it up as a reflex before giving myself time to think. i'm glad no one i know gets them or has or takes ( if they did i'd have known before when i was addicted cuz i would ask around often when i was desprite)
even still - if what im going through now will pass.. for realls... not joking..
then its worth it to me to keep on truckin onward and wait for the days i start to feel normalish again -
thats depressing now cuz this ***** so hard that i feel desprite and want it to end to the core of me - feels like my hearts constantly being squeezed up my throat - mabye my minds trying to think of stuff that i didnt want to think about b4 -
i dont like it at all - i checked out as a teenager w/honestly dealing w/ stuff- this is gunna be a super huge mountain to climb up
honeslty i usually spend 19 hours a day alone painting like a maniac and dont go to my shows ( cuz i dont wanna be around anyone) and enjoy kudos through media,freinds, etc.
im a total hermit usually, but that was a hermit w/ a ton of opiate around all the time kinda zombified roboto painting - i know thats not right now, but this is new - i jsut keep feeling like my whole life stopped and i wont get it back.

i guess it will just be kinda different.  i was able to construct w/ the paint for like 20 min the other day - so the brains still there and the hand still knows. i just have to deal w/ this pain thing and deep depresive feeling -
all i can bring myself to do still is clean -
Helpful - 0
1074827 tn?1255629097
Thats what i've been fighting for a while. I didn't even know what paws was until recently... that explained a lot. When I quit the first time, (Early this year) I used alcohol to numb the brain. It ***** but, everyone is right, 90 days and the bad thoughts stop. The body doesn't ache, even when sitting on the couch. I went from socially drinking every couple weeks, to drinking a 5th every couple days. It too will pass. I was unemployed, fresh out of college, back at home with the rents' and totally miserable. A job finally came along and pulled my head out of the gutter. I quit smoking cigarettes, and quit smoking pot. Things cleaned up.

One night at work a buddy of mine traded a friend for a few oxy 20's.

I told myself I'm responsible and understand the consiquences now, it won't happen again.

Thus it happened again. Worse than before, more desperate than before.

Here I was again, addicted. Feeling like schit. Having to take them to feel normal.

I guess my post isn't really constructive. Paws is hard. The withdrawls are hard. Rejoining life is hard. It's like merging onto a raging interstate, on a moped. Phuq.

But that's all any of this boils down to is rejoining life. Do you remember the hardest thing you ever had to go through growing up?

.... I do....

But what happened, you rejoined life because you had to, and that's the only way things will work. You can plead and reason with yourself as to why you should go back, you can even go back... but still if you want to survive.... SURVIVE.... you have to rejoin life.

I use MJ. I use beer and wine... (I now understand why they call them spirits).

I f up and fall down. I pick myself up again and move forward.

Why? Because no matter what, you have to keep breathing. You have to keep moving forward.

I look back at that hardest thing growing up, and yeah it still hurts. But I'm still here. I rejoined once before, and I can do it again.

If not for yourself, than atleast for the people who love you. Because when it's their turn to try and merge into traffic, where do you need to be? Getting run down too, or slowing down to help them in.

Either way the earth will turn, time will pass, and one way or another it's all going to end.

I want it to end while I'm standing, not glued to a couch or writhing in self induced pain. I'm going to stand up and do this right.

Why shouldn't we all?

eh....

I hang my head in regret. I've slipped.

That's where I've been these past two weeks, and I guess I need more strength than I thought....

Please don't make the same mistake, you're so far into it, you can get through this.

Mad Love
-J
Helpful - 0
1064998 tn?1254939045
its totally both bad - but mabye mental more? i have Rhumetoid Arthritis and before i was on Enbrel i swelled up alot and the swelling erods ur joints each time so i have jjoint damage that hurts like crazy all the time.
i stopped because i'd been taking way too much - and nothing ever helped, and snorting them sometimes and running out earlier EVERY MONTH and chasing the sickness away each time i took one, waking up in the middle of the night sick and having to take one almost every night, not being able to function w/out them and then w/out more and more of them. i started puking randomly mabye 2wice a week ( prolly from too much or not enough) - everytime my script ran out early life stopped-0
but now i feel like lifes permaently stopped and if i could just be the way i was i'd get things done cuz i'm usually busy but cant bring myself to do anything but attempt cleaning every couple hours :( i know thats not true thats why i dont go get anymore of that poison
but knowing i can anytime is HARD so hard - i wish i couldnt then mabye i'd give up mentally
my cars like half broken which ***** but is good too - keeps me from driving anywhere
i dunno i have wheelpower i guess obviously but it feels like when i was in jr.high or highschool- that insatiable craving to get high, i use other drugs recreationaly ( occasionaly nowadays like 2wice a year) but back then i was nuts i like tried anything - i had major drug problems which is why i understand how i let myself start taking the oxy poison.
even though my golden rules always '' dont do heroin''
christ -
:(
im not a kid anymore though , u cant go around high all the time and excpect to have a buisness etc. tahts why oxy was easy to fall into cuz ididnt notice it at first , it jsut seemed to make me to more work, and be able to stay up longer working, but then eventually it made me lazy and sleepy and sometimes i'd just sleep -
i want to exersice liek i used to and ride my bike and stuff but i'm in pain and tired, and almost nervous , i have bad 'people' anxiety anyways so now its like its unbearable to be near anyone so i've been home this whole time -
i have to get back to work but i cant yet - i cant pick myself up
i feel the shakes and spaz out a few times a day and have had probably too much wine this week
its really hard to stop the URGE to do anything - i just want it to be over and be a normal person so i dont feel like im going nuts anymore :(
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
paws post acute withdrawl syndrome... is it physical or mental right now? mental cravings n the dreams can last a while.. syick it out if u can.. im here if u want to talk went thru the same things..
Helpful - 0
401095 tn?1351391770
I c u osted on the 6th and u were 4 days clean..lots of posts so i did not read them all...u r now approximately 3 weeks into this?...mental cravings, fatigue, lack of motivation and feeling like u have no nrg to get up and do anything is how i felt at this time ..it was a real doomer..i remember..i felt like i had no life cos when i got home from work i felt like doing nuttin...had to do a rocket shot just to get out of the door each am for work

This is the time when aftercare becomes crucial..u gotta have a plan or u may cave on one of these "bad" days...but remeber these bad days become less and less//and good days become more and  more as time goes by while ur brain heals,,many r so afraid of the physical aspect of wd that they do not make a plan for this part..I DID NOT..cos I didnt know..i didnt know about all this PAWS crud..and it bumbedme out when it happend..I figured i would go thru the physical stuff//which I imagined would be way worse than my actual experience...i was envisioning shaking and sweating//throwing up etc..my physical part was not awful...5 days maybe//4 really..then this PAWS stuff hit me..and i felt as tho i dint have a life..like a couch potato or sumpin...and i am not a couch potato at all..this doomer feeling can make u turnback to pills//just to feel better..right now ur brain is working against u

I re-read the thomas recipe in the health pages and got up and MOVED..resumed my gym habits/exercise forces the brain to release much needed endorphins as u have cut ur endorphin supply off...the brain has to catch up and heal..the mino acids helpedme along with exercise..when i craved i did sumpin rather than sit there and dwell on it...MOVE!  as much as u can

AA has a slogan...90 meetings in 90 days...there is a reason for the 90 days..this is approximately how long it takes thebrain to heal enuf to handle staying clean..have u read thru the health pages?  there is an article there on dopamine and addiction that helped me understand//understanding helps us cope ..make a plan for this doomy part...cover all of ur bases..there is also an article on cravings

why di u stop the pills?  post and let us know the reasons u stopped...list them and never forget them! memories can fade/specially painful ones...what were the reasons that made u make the decision to stop and get off the merry go round?
Helpful - 0
1064998 tn?1254939045
I havnt posted for a few days - right now i'm having major WD comebacks ( is that a term?) it keeps coming back sometimes but MAJOR - and im having serious problems just wanting to drink all the time now and i just dont want to be sober :(
cuz it hurts :(
somedays im ok and somedays like now im horrrrrrible
Helpful - 0
1064998 tn?1254939045
hey - i can tell ur worried about suffering WD's.... im not sure if u would normaly get WD from 2 weeks on a medication BUT you're prolly taking Suboxone to save u from the WD from something else right? So no matter what you'll have to suffer WD on some level....i know its scarry but, it will stop. I'm day 22 now & I"m almost ready to start back into society normaly ( work etc )
Some advice another person on here gave me really helped, Just ask youself if you'd rather be sick for a month or the rest of your life? I chose the month - I understand i wont feel 100 percent for a while if ever, but its ok to deal w/the fact u ****** up and you have to kinda pay the price!
But it will end and you'll be ok - From my research Sub is hard as Oxy etc. to WD from - but then again most of us who went cold turkey from opiates didnt even taper off... like me i was at 300 a day to prolly 80 2 days b4 they were gone - thats a fast taper thats prolly usless - it was like HELL! so i'd assume if you take Sub every other day or whatev - hell your WD might not be as bad as the rest of us,
just remember you'll be sick but count the days and read up on the WD symptoms so you dont freak yourself out! I would then coming on here helped me mellow out -

I wouldnt worry about what ur dr. tells u - i'd just stop taking that stuff asap . theres no pill thats gunna make u not go through WD - you have to. just get used to it and start so you can get it over with! I'm so happy now i can almost get outa the house and go halloween it up!
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Avatar universal
Btw, I am taking them from a doctor. He told me that it is best that I start tapering as soon as possible. I took 8 mg the first 2 days and then 4 every other day after. He told me that when I felt comfortable I should take smaller and smaller amounts until I don't have the physical wd's. I'm fine with the mental wd's. I am ready to get clean and be healthy. I just don't know what to do.. So what some of you are saying is that after taking a piece of Sub every other day or 2 days for 2 weeks that I won't ever be able to get off and that I will wd from the Sub after just a short time period... Because that is not what my doc is telling me.. I don't want to switch one drug addiction to another.... please help!
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Btw, I am taking them from a doctor. He told me that it is best that I start tapering as soon as possible. I took 8 mg the first 2 days and then 4 every other day after. He told me that when I felt comfortable I should take smaller and smaller amounts until I don't have the physical wd's. I'm fine with the mental wd's. I am ready to get clean and be healthy. I just don't know what to do.. So what some of you are saying is that after taking a piece of Sub every other day or 2 days for 2 weeks that I won't ever be able to get off and that I will wd from the Sub after just a short time period... Because that is not what my doc is telling me.. I don't want to switch one drug addiction to another.... please help!
Helpful - 0
983679 tn?1276833336
most on here HAVE did our research on it, it should be  used only under the care of a medical person, this person is takin it as needed every few days which means he/she is prob not using it under medical advise, and because of that they prob have not did much research on it! worried878 is a very knowledgable person and her advise is always good hearted and usually takin very well!
  What do you know about sub from all your research that you like to share??
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
You guys really need to research suboxone... besides 10 days clean and prolly ready to relapse.
Helpful - 0
1064998 tn?1254939045
hey - i'd say just get to that pllace where you " neeeed to take the sub" cuz u cant take it... run a hot bath w/ epson salt, lock the door and cry - just try to deal w/ it - thats not easy to say cuz i was almost held down while screaming craziness to get past those first 5 days - i'm at over 2 weeks and its better, and i was on WAYYYYYYY more opiate than ur taking -
u gotta stick it out - no medication can help the WDs .... just time - but think about it, 2 weeks... it feels long while ur doing it, but overall 2 weeks isnt that long. u can do it!
u need a freind to help u - cuz you'll get pretty sick - but it wont kill u and just count the days - thats what i've done - and i actually saw a movie in a theatre yesturday! (day 16) and even 2 days ago i didnt think i'd ever leave the house...
trust in your own wheelpower and just tell urself NO -
if u need to flush the sub - i'd say flush it -
then u can't give in
Helpful - 0
983679 tn?1276833336
stop taking the sub and suffer the 5-7n days of w/ds. i was takin 15-20 tabs a day 10's, i went cold turkey, it blew untill about day 4 than started to get better. The sub is only makin it worse and prolonging what is to come, just get it over with, w/ds are a vital part of getting clean, they are something we all have to go through and nthing out there is going to take them away, ther is some things that might help you a little, but in the end you are going to have to get it done,
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
I have been taking 10 10mg lortabs a day for the past 2 1/2 years for severe sciatica. I am ready to get off. I know itI have been taking subs every other day for about 6 days to get off the lortabs. I tried stopping after 4 days and I was fine for one day and then the withdrawls came back super heavy. Does anyone know when the withdrawls from the lortab will stop?? Or how long until I can stop taking the subs? I read the whole post and I see that it can take a couple weeks to feel normal again.. So I am not there yet. Everyday I wait until I absolutely NEED the suboxone to take it. I take a quarter piece about every other day. I want to get off of everything! I hate this feeling and  am ready to be healthy. Please if anyone knows how long this will aprox last please let me know. And congrats on your 2 weeks!!! You are soo strong. I wish I had that strength! Good luck!! You are inspiration
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495284 tn?1333894042
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