Oxycontin

[Lynn]

Can Oxycontin be detected using the standard drugs of abuse laboratory test?

[chad]

Yes.  Go to GNC and tell them you need to pass a pee-pee test.

[Thomas02]

GNC?

[chad]

GNC is a vitamin/herbs store on the east coast.  I don't know where you live but we have them all over the place around Maryland.  Take Care

[Kate]

GNC= General Nutrition Center.

[chad]

Thanks Kate, I didn't even think to put the name of the Acronym.  Hahaha LOL Take Care
Chad

[Kate]

I'm in Maryland also. There must be a GNC on every corner. Mom & Pop stores seem to have better prices.

[Thomas02]

how do you mask the oxy? or do you just bugger the whole test? they have tests for that now, too. The "gosh, now that you mention it, I had some poppy seed muffines the other morning" still works, doesn't it?

[Thomas02]

If you're taking controlled substances for a documented, chronic condition, i.e., bad disks or the like, and you present them with your legal prescriptions, is that still a bar to employment when you're going through the hiring process? I'm using both opiates and benzos on a daily basis legally and don't expect to be curtailing it soon. What's the story. Chad, do you know?

[chad]

If you bring the presciption bottles with you to your urinalysis.  By law you will not be barred from employment.  There is an equal rights law that says as follows:

Title I of the Americans with Disabilities Act of 1990 (ADA), which prohibits employment discrimination against qualified individuals with disabilities in the private sector, and in state and local governments;

Now the disability act is the one you might be interested in.  If you are disabled or not, but on medication, it is against the law to discriminate.  All you have to do is bring your prescription bottle(s) to the lab when you get tested.
I did the same thing and I was hired with Bell Atlantic/Verizon.
Hope this helped?
Take Care

[Thomas02]

many thanks

[chad]

No prob.  Good Luck my brutha!!!

[J.B. to Brian and Vicky]

Lynn hasn't posted back on this yet so who knows why the question came up.  It could be that he is on house arrest as well.  I talk to a fellow once in a while who wears the ankle bracelet and he can get tested twice a week!  He tells me that the GNC stuff doesn't work with the new court ordered tests.  I'd surely hate to find out the hard way if I were in his shoes.  Anyway, just a warning to the wise.  J.B.

[PS >>>>Annie]

........Was wondering how you are doing??  I'm still "doing the mix" thing. lol  Taste bad but, less worrisome.  That was really a brilliant concept.  Seperating the tylenol from the hydrocodone.  Never would have known.  Only I have Oxycodone now.
Don't like it much.  
Have you been beating yourself up???  Don't give up on your plan.
Times change and situations change.  Keep pressing for what you want.  I will ck on you from time to time.

[Thomas02]

Pat to annie

Tom's not going to post on the board until he follows through on his pledge to take one of the treatment options written about ad nauseam on the forum.

However, tom spent much of last night writing, what we will call a "night's memoir."  

He wrote it partly to unburden himself but, principally, to remind everyone that visits or frequents this forum of how precious life is, how relentless the disease of drug addiction is, and how, in the blink of an eye, this disease can have you dangling over a cliff, ready to plunge into the abyss.

From tom to all:

"I feel I must begin this story the way so many horrific tales are begun:

This is a true story, described as it happened with no detail omitted, no embellishment added, and no dramatic license taken.

Most of you who know me are aware that I've be addicted to opiates for thirty years and now maintain myself, if one can call it that, with a combination of darvon and xanax. However, in a matter of a few months, private physicians in California and elsewhere will be able to obtain certification to treat patients for opiate addiction with the drug buprenorphin. This is the course I have decided to take and, while the legislative wheels slowly turn, I go on, day after day, dosing myself with enough Darvon and Xanax to enable me to work and, in short, function in society.

If you're getting bored by now, take heart, because this story is about to become a lot more "interesting."

Wednesday night started out quite happily. I had firmed up a job interview for Friday. If successful, this job would dramatically enhance my future and that of my family. It was long in coming and well deserved. Wednesday night my wife and I thought we had something to toast, so we did. A few Baileys and what not, nothing (seemingly) that I couldn't handle.

But I had forgotten a little bit of basic wisdom about Xanax and alcohol. Mixing the two can result in paralysis and death. It's there on rxlist.com for any idiot to read. Midnight came around I suddenly felt a little "too" medicated. It takes a lot for me to feel "too' medicated. Therefore, I elected to take a solitary stroll through our neighborhood to clear my head.

We live in what amounts to a suburban enclave built into a row of steep hills. This gives each of us our cherished view of the Pacific Ocean in all its beauty. All the streets are connected by steeper than average cross streets, the kind you think twice about parking your car on for fear of finding it crashed at the bottom from an overwhelmed parking break - steep, roughly asphalted bastards that test your climbing abilities and give you nice calf muscles if you walk them enough. It's a nice, private collection of streets with no street lamps to spoil the beauty of the night (or help you find your way home).

I was perhaps a twenty-minute stroll from my front door when it hit me. An almost-total paralysis overwhelmed the muscles of my body and, perfectly conscious, I watched as my limbs became rubber and my body fell harshly to the ground. To my horror, I found I could not raise myself from the round. I couldn't even get up on my hands and knees.

It began to rain. I was now in a curious position:
I knew I needed to go to the ER
In order to get there, I knew I had to attract help.
I tried to cry out for help only to find that I had virtually lost the power of speech, mouth and tongue virtually paralyzed.
I considered by predicament. If I was successful in attracting someone's attention: this would have been the sequence of events:
The police and paramedics would be called. I would be rushed into the ER. A police report would be taken. My doctor would be contacted and, conceivably, charged for one prescribing violation or another. The entire neighborhood would find out. They already knew I had gone into a court-ordered rehab in 1994. I was supposed to have made a complete success of it and rebuilt my life and career. To the observer, I was a rehab success story.
If I went to the ER, I knew my family would be shamed; I would have been hospitalized and lost the new job. Our finances would have imploded. Plus, our landlord, hearing the news, would quite likely have evicted us from our dream life in the hills overlooking the great Pacific.

At the same time, I knew that if I didn't get myself off this rain soaked road I would lay there till I quite likely died.

I thought, "is this how the story ends? Found dead, another drug casualty, cut down in his prime. How sad. How senseless. How typical.

I decided that, if I could drag myself to my doorstep, I could at least go to the ER without all the spectacle of the cops and paramedics.

I managed to claw my way up onto my feet using a hillside covered in ice plant. I promptly fell and fell hard. I did this many times. Until I determined that the only way I would make the half-mile back to my door step was to crawl. This I did for the next 90 minutes in the pouring rain, the odd SUV passing by inches from me every 10 minutes or so. I was quite lucky not to be run over.

I finally got to one of these steep feeder roads I described and simply tumbled down the length of it until I was laying face down in the mud on my own street. It took another hour to drag myself to the bottom landing leading to my second-level front door.
At this point, I was so exhausted I could barely move. I looked up the dimly lit set of brick stairs leading to my front door. I immediately discovered that I lacked the strength in my arms to drag my body up even one step, let alone the thirty steps I needed to cover.

I wondered again, is this where it ends? Is this the end of my life? I lay there a few minutes, asking myself, do I really want to go on, or is this the merciful end denied to so many others?

I decided no, I did not want to go out a loser on this rainy night. Another wasted human receptacle of education, training and experience, some of which might still have some value to the world.

It now occurred to me. If I hadn't the strength in my arms, what about my legs? I rolled myself over on my back, head facing upwards towards the top landing which was my goal.

For the next hour, maybe two hours - I don't know - I pushed with what strength was left in my legs and lifted as hard as I could with my now-bleeding elbows. Step by step, I pushed myself up to the top landing.

All this time, mind you, it was so dark, so rainy and so removed from the usual police beats that nobody had noticed this soaked, writhing mass slithering snakelike down the street for a total (counting both streets) of about 1 mile!

By now, I had lost my shoes somewhere on the road, most of my jacket, and was literally covered from the shoulders down with bruises and abrasions. By some miracle, I had not a mark on my face or neck.

By another miracle, my house key had not fallen out of my pocket. I reached up with the key. I could barely lift my arm or move my hand to work the lock.

Once in the door, I dragged myself up into a chair and just sat there breathing. My tongue was bone dry and swollen and I knew I needed to get some water down my throat. After a few minutes in the chair, my control of my arms and legs slowly returned and I was able to stagger into the kitchen by holding onto various pieces of furniture until I got to the sink and drank down some water.

Somehow, this caused a dramatic return of muscle control and I was able to stagger into the bedroom to my sleeping wife. (She had not known that I had even left the house. At the time, I thought I'd be back in ten minutes).

She helped me out of my clothes and into a warm shower. A few minutes later, I was lying in my own bed, breathing, drinking fluids, recovering control of my arms and legs, and trying to explain to my wife what I had just experienced.

With one day to recover, by the grace of god, I was able to hold it together for exactly one hour in order to make my job interview and land my lucrative contract. With no marks on my face or neck, I was able to hide the appalling collection of bruises and abrasions from view.

As I drove home from the interview, hurting from every point of my body like a motorcycle accident victim, I thought, "This, Tom, is God's last act of grace to you. By any standard of reasoning, I should have been, at that moment, lying in a hospital with my life ruined and family publicly shamed, my wife facing an eviction notice with a drug addled, broken down, unemployable husband.

Instead, I start my new job on Monday. I have since reviewed the readily accessible information about the lethality of mixing benzos like Xanax and alcohol. I still cannot fathom how I could have been so stupid as to let this happen.

But here I am. I'd say God cut me some major slack - why, I don't know. But I do know what I'm going to do because of the experience."

[Thomas02]

This post was originally in response to one person but I want everyone to read this, so, forgive me for posting it twice.


[Pat to annie]

Tom's not going to post on the board until he follows through on his pledge to take one of the treatment options written about ad nauseam on the forum.

However, tom spent much of last night writing, what we will call a "night's memoir."  

He wrote it partly to unburden himself but, principally, to remind everyone that visits or frequents this forum of how precious life is, how relentless the disease of drug addiction is, and how, in the blink of an eye, this disease can have you dangling over a cliff, ready to plunge into the abyss.

From tom to all:

"I feel I must begin this story the way so many horrific tales are begun:

This is a true story, described as it happened with no detail omitted, no embellishment added, and no dramatic license taken.

Most of you who know me are aware that I've be addicted to opiates for thirty years and now maintain myself, if one can call it that, with a combination of darvon and xanax. However, in a matter of a few months, private physicians in California and elsewhere will be able to obtain certification to treat patients for opiate addiction with the drug buprenorphin. This is the course I have decided to take and, while the legislative wheels slowly turn, I go on, day after day, dosing myself with enough Darvon and Xanax to enable me to work and, in short, function in society.

If you're getting bored by now, take heart, because this story is about to become a lot more "interesting."

Wednesday night started out quite happily. I had firmed up a job interview for Friday. If successful, this job would dramatically enhance my future and that of my family. It was long in coming and well deserved. Wednesday night my wife and I thought we had something to toast, so we did. A few Baileys and what not, nothing (seemingly) that I couldn't handle.

But I had forgotten a little bit of basic wisdom about Xanax and alcohol. Mixing the two can result in paralysis and death. It's there on rxlist.com for any idiot to read. Midnight came around I suddenly felt a little "too" medicated. It takes a lot for me to feel "too' medicated. Therefore, I elected to take a solitary stroll through our neighborhood to clear my head.

We live in what amounts to a suburban enclave built into a row of steep hills. This gives each of us our cherished view of the Pacific Ocean in all its beauty. All the streets are connected by steeper than average cross streets, the kind you think twice about parking your car on for fear of finding it crashed at the bottom from an overwhelmed parking break - steep, roughly asphalted bastards that test your climbing abilities and give you nice calf muscles if you walk them enough. It's a nice, private collection of streets with no street lamps to spoil the beauty of the night (or help you find your way home).

I was perhaps a twenty-minute stroll from my front door when it hit me. An almost-total paralysis overwhelmed the muscles of my body and, perfectly conscious, I watched as my limbs became rubber and my body fell harshly to the ground. To my horror, I found I could not raise myself from the ground. I couldn't even get up on my hands and knees.

It began to rain. I was now in a curious position:
I knew I needed to go to the ER
In order to get there, I knew I had to attract help.
I tried to cry out for help only to find that I had virtually lost the power of speech, mouth and tongue virtually paralyzed.
I considered by predicament. If I was successful in attracting someone's attention: this would have been the sequence of events:
The police and paramedics would be called. I would be rushed into the ER. A police report would be taken. My doctor would be contacted and, conceivably, charged for one prescribing violation or another. The entire neighborhood would find out. They already knew I had gone into a court-ordered rehab in 1994. I was supposed to have made a complete success of it and rebuilt my life and career. To the observer, I was a rehab success story.
If I went to the ER, I knew my family would be shamed; I would have been hospitalized and lost the new job. Our finances would have imploded. Plus, our landlord, hearing the news, would quite likely have evicted us from our dream life in the hills overlooking the great Pacific.

At the same time, I knew that if I didn't get myself off this rain soaked road I would lay there till I quite likely died.

I thought, "is this how the story ends? Found dead, another drug casualty, cut down in his prime. How sad. How senseless. How typical.

I decided that, if I could drag myself to my doorstep, I could at least go to the ER without all the spectacle of the cops and paramedics.

I managed to claw my way up onto my feet using a hillside covered in ice plant. I promptly fell and fell hard. I did this many times. Until I determined that the only way I would make the half-mile back to my door step was to crawl. This I did for the next 90 minutes in the pouring rain, the odd SUV passing by inches from me every 10 minutes or so. I was quite lucky not to be run over.

I finally got to one of these steep feeder roads I described and simply tumbled down the length of it until I was laying face down in the mud on my own street. It took another hour to drag myself to the bottom landing leading to my second-level front door.
At this point, I was so exhausted I could barely move. I looked up the dimly lit set of brick stairs leading to my front door. I immediately discovered that I lacked the strength in my arms to drag my body up even one step, let alone the thirty steps I needed to cover.

I wondered again, is this where it ends? Is this the end of my life? I lay there a few minutes, asking myself, do I really want to go on, or is this the merciful end denied to so many others?

I decided no, I did not want to go out a loser on this rainy night. Another wasted human receptacle of education, training and experience, some of which might still have some value to the world.

It now occurred to me. If I hadn't the strength in my arms, what about my legs? I rolled myself over on my back, head facing upwards towards the top landing which was my goal.

For the next hour, maybe two hours - I don't know - I pushed with what strength was left in my legs and lifted as hard as I could with my now-bleeding elbows. Step by step, I pushed myself up to the top landing.

All this time, mind you, it was so dark, so rainy and so removed from the usual police beats that nobody had noticed this soaked, writhing mass slithering snakelike down the street for a total (counting both streets) of about 1 mile!

By now, I had lost my shoes somewhere on the road, most of my jacket, and was literally covered from the shoulders down with bruises and abrasions. By some miracle, I had not a mark on my face or neck.

By another miracle, my house key had not fallen out of my pocket. I reached up with the key. I could barely lift my arm or move my hand to work the lock.

Once in the door, I dragged myself up into a chair and just sat there breathing. My tongue was bone dry and swollen and I knew I needed to get some water down my throat. After a few minutes in the chair, my control of my arms and legs slowly returned and I was able to stagger into the kitchen by holding onto various pieces of furniture until I got to the sink and drank down some water.

Somehow, this caused a dramatic return of muscle control and I was able to stagger into the bedroom to my sleeping wife. (She had not known that I had even left the house. At the time, I thought I'd be back in ten minutes).

She helped me out of my clothes and into a warm shower. A few minutes later, I was lying in my own bed, breathing, drinking fluids, recovering control of my arms and legs, and trying to explain to my wife what I had just experienced.

With one day to recover, by the grace of god, I was able to hold it together for exactly one hour in order to make my job interview and land my lucrative contract. With no marks on my face or neck, I was able to hide the appalling collection of bruises and abrasions from view.

As I drove home from the interview, hurting from every point of my body like a motorcycle accident victim, I thought, "This, Tom, is God's last act of grace to you. By any standard of reasoning, I should have been, at that moment, lying in a hospital with my life ruined and family publicly shamed, my wife facing an eviction notice with a drug addled, broken down, unemployable husband.

Instead, I start my new job on Monday. I have since reviewed the readily accessible information about the lethality of mixing benzos like Xanax and alcohol. I still cannot fathom how I could have been so stupid as to let this happen.

But here I am. I'd say God cut me some major slack - why, I don't know. But I do know what I'm going to do because of the experience."

[Thomas02]

I apologise for some of the silly typos in the above doc. I meant to present a clean doc that could be reprinted if found usefull by anyone. I'll clean it up.

[Gina]

Oh my God, Tom! I am sitting here tonite having some realizations about my past drug abuse. (Remember I am on the methadone now). Something hit me like a ton of bricks--You know how counselors tell you that the drug abuse is only a symptom of the REAL problem. Well, I think I STARTED TO FIGURE SOMETHING OUT ABOUT MYSELF. Then I come on here and you have me gripping my hands on the chair with your unbelievable story. Thank the good Lord that he saved you. You must have been scared to death. You have a second chance, I would be interested to know what you are going to do with it? God Bless!!!

[Thomas02]

Tom is looking for an answer to your question and will let you be the first to know when he finds it. He knows it musn't be some regurgitation of the big book. He knows the answer is meant to be larger than himself and yet must come soley from himself. He knows it must be the decision that defines his life.

[Thomas02]

don't let tom's lurid tale stop you from talking about your self-revelation. It sounded important. Talk to us about it. Tom can tread water for a while. You spoke about discovering the underlying cause for your drug abuse. What do you mean?

[Dee]

First, I'd like to say hope all is well with everyone on this forum,Tom/Pat,could you please enlighten me,I'm sorry that I get confused from time to time,it is something that I can not help,so hopefully you will take the time to 'unconfuse' me LOL
here goes, Tom,I remember reading that you were going to try to taper off your meds and it didn't work,I'm sorry that it didnt' work,you then said you were not going to post here until you did something constructive,I have gotten lost somewhere along the lines as to who and what 'Pat' is,is 'Pat' really just you posting or is he a 'real' person? just a few lines from you would be appreiciated so that I could feel up to date and not feel so 'out there' somewhere. thanks....JB,I know that you have liver disease,very sorry about that,how long have you had it and how did you learn that you have it,(syptoms (symptoms))also, I have wanted to ask you this for a long time,but felt uncomfortable asking you about your wife,I didn't want to pry, but then I thought that was silly of me to feel that,if it was me, I wouldn't mind talking about my husband at all and would share,if I'm wrong and out of line please please just let me know,I have read that you said your wife has cancer, is it alright to ask you questions about what kind of cancer she has,and where she is right now with it? again if this is prying please forgive me...take care all
Dee

[PS >>>>Annie]

........Just read your post.  Gave me the chills.  You hit the nail on the head when you said it was the grace of God.  Tom, this only proves that you have a greater purpose.  You see, I once had a brush w/ death.  I was bleeding internally.  Doctors could do nothing for me.  I had a massive hematoma.  My pastor prayed along side my bed. My family prepared themselves for the worst.  My doctor paced up and down in front of my bed knowing there was nothing they could do.  Then suddenly the bleeding subsided.  My doctor looked into my face and said "young lady, you had a massive hematoma, and it just stopped.  There was nothing I could do for you.  This is unexplainable."  You see there was no medical reason for me to live.  I know it was the grace of God.  I had lost over 8 units of blood.  
Anyway, I've been searching scripture for the perfect verse for you.  When I receive it.  I'll post it.  Take this experience and move forward.  You have a special gift.  It will be used one day for the greater good.  Don't fight it.

[Gina]

I plan on telling my counselor about my new found revelation at our next appt. I cried for the 24 hrs because I believe I figured IT out and I feel even worse. It is not a relief. I have been through 2 outpatient rehabs always saying "I don't know why I'm self medicating, I had a wonderful childhood with wonderful parents" "Maybe it was because I was very overweight all through my child and teen years" ( I am now at 125 and have been since my twenties) Well, like I said it hit me last night. There is way too much to write on here. Thanks for your caring. Please keep us informed on your progress. I didn't know the tapering failed like I read above..What happened?

[J.B. to Brian and Vicky]

Actually it's a little easier talking about things here than it is in person.  My wife has squamos cell carcinoma that started out on her skin and has metastitized to her ovaries, colon and now both lungs.  She has been on chemo and radiation since 1994.  Every time they rid her of it in one spot, it shows up later in another place.  She's on a break right now from the treatments but will resume in March with another regime.  Her last chemo drug was Taxol and she developed a new tumor while on it.  So we know that Taxol isn't working as was hoped.  

I have Hep C and cirrohsis plus a lot of other problems related to liver disease.  About three years ago I started getting pretty ill and had my doctor stumped as to why.  He said that I had all the symptoms of Lupus and severe arthritis at that time.  I was just feeling lousy all the time and fatigued.  After several blood tests, I was diagnosed with hepatitis c and advanced liver disease.  It has gotten progressively worse even though I've had the combo therapy of Interferon and Ribivirin.  I'm whats referred to as a non-responder to treatment and need a liver transplant ASAP.  I'm waiting for one right now.

Hope that answers your questions, Dee.  J.B.

[Gina]

Hey Tom--I plan to tell my counselor about my revelation. I have cried for the last 24 hrs. I have been through two outpatient rehabs and during the counseling sessions I would always say "I don't know why I am self medicating" "Maybe it was because I was a very overweight child and teen" (I am 125 now and have been since my 20's) But last night it hit me like a ton of bricks. It is obviously too long to go into on here. I don't feel relief at all just ugly feelings. I don't believe it is something that I can change since I can't control other people or their behavior. Thanks for your caring words. Tom, I didn't realize that the tapering didn't work, I read it in an above thread,what happened? Please keep us informed, as I am always rooting for you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[dee dee]

Since i'm new to this sight,i to get very confused, i think unless you read everything on a real regular basis it can get confusing. JB, i'm so sorry to hear about you and your wife's medical problems. It's hard enough dealing with everyday problems. My prayers are with the both of you. Patrick that was an amazing story. I'm so glad it wasn't your time to go. I'm a firm believer in that. according to Sylvia Browne we have 5 exits being the 5th is the killer. Does anyone know the answer to this? next week i'm having surgery and as we all know you cant have anything to eat or drink after midnight the night before, well, every morning when i wake up i feel i'm going through the effects of detox,because of the number of hours since the last pills i took. Now because the surgery isn't untill 10:00A.M.Is my body going to be going through all these things even though i will be knocked out for awhile? I keep hearing everyone talk about diahrea. I know this sounds gross but am i going to poo poo all over while i'm under. This is so embarresing to ask, but i am actually very concerned about it.

[PS >>>>Annie]

Forgive me but, I had to giggle a bit when I read your post.  Looks like you and I are both having surgury this week.  Your worried about bodily functions and I'm worried about the BODY!
Did you ever read a physicians report after a surgury??  What does "draped in the sterile fashion" mean.......lol   I'm a very modest person.  I quiver at the the thought of being unclothed on the darn op table.  Then I worry about doing #1 on the table too.  lol  Well, I'm probably not the best one to give you any advice about symptoms of no meds, but here is a thought could you take something, lets say, at about 11:00.....maybe the symptoms will hold till they put you to sleep.  That should stop the old bowel system......lol  Dont mean to be so silly, I know this is a serious concern, if anything, I hope I cheered you up a bit.  K>I>T>
Annie

[PS >>>>Annie]

My prior posting was to DEE DEE.  Sorry, I'm always posting in a hurry.......Then you have to live w/ the errors, as they will be posted on here for an eternity it seems. lol

[dee dee]

To Annie, That actually was a very good suggestion. I know the problem were all facing is not funny, but on the other hand i don't know where i would be in life right now if i didn't have some humor now and then.I always try as hard as it is at times to find humor in most situations.What kind of surgery are you facing?I will pray for you to not pee,if you pray for me to not poop on the op. table.Surgery's are what got me into this mess with pills in the first place, back surgery 5 years ago, knee surgery almost 2 years ago, and now this hand surgery next week. I am hoping to try to detox after i no longer really need pain meds. I will need a little, i mean big prayer for that one. Good luck to you.

[PS >>>>Annie]

If you look under Ultram Law., ("To All"),  date 1/26/01, & Tramadol Addiction (Annie to JB), date: 2/9/01, 2/10/01, my problems are stated in these post.

Getting Back to our "little problems," have you ever heard the term draped in the steril fashion.  Do you have any idea what that means?  Do we have our gowns on or what??  Can you believe, im having a serious surgury and worried about this.  Go figure.

I was wondering about you, also.  what caused you to need so many surguries.  Were you in an auto accident too?
I know I ask sooo many questions.....As i once told "tom", im just a grasshopper eager to learn.....lmao

[Thomas02]

a while back, someone challenged tom to stop talking up the details of all the addiction "cures" and just do one of them. They suggested tom's requirement that he get opiate addiction treatment from a private physician in a private setting (in other words, a regular doctor with his own office and private patient records, as opposed to a federally registered program like the current methadone program) was just an excuse to avoid quitting drugs.
This person made a very good point and tom decided he would not post on the forum until he had indeed followed through on a treatment program. Tom's research has revealed that private addiction treatment using buprenorphine will be available in his state (California) in a matter of a few months.
Tom is registered with this forum through what is probably a flimsy security buffer using the alter ego pat's hotmail address. Tom still follows the forum because he cares about the many friends he has made on it. He also finds it impossible to ignore a poster pleading for help with something tom knows he can quickly and easily help with.
So, here's the dilemma: tom can't ignore his friends but he also wants to follow through on his pledge to seek serious, comprehensive treatment before he "takes credit" if you want to call it that, inhis own name, for advice or help of a significant or intimate nature. Tom recently had a drug experience (see "Oxycontin" thread under "pat") so horrifying that he simply could not keep it from the forum.
It may sound and actually be silly, but "pat" will convey tom's comments when he feels he must speak, but tom will not speak openly as himself, that is to say, with any real sense of pride or legitimacy, until he makes good on his pledge to get help. You may think it's stupid or even egotistical for tom to operate this way, and you'd probably be right -- it certainly wouldn't be out of character for him -- but it is his way of saying to the forum that he doesn't feel good enough to address its members openly until he makes good on his commitment like so many others on the forum have.

As for tapering, tom failed miserably. Any more questions?

Peace.

"pat"

[dee dee]

I think the term your asking about means, your naked. You probably know by now that when you go in the hospital, Their not very good about letting you keep your modesty. I hate that part myself, because i'm very modest.You poor thing. I read what is going on with you. You certainly have had to go through alot. I had a ruptured disc, and them a torn meniscus. now i have carpal tunnel. I'm no spring chicken, so due to haveing a very physical job for so many years i just wore everything out.How long is your recuperation period? I wish you the best of luck, and will say a prayer for you.Please let me know how you are doing.DeeDee

[PS >>>>Annie]

Pat...Not silly at all.  Your only revealing that you are a "man of your word," with great compassion for your friends.  I would rather my questions be answered by you anyway....You know what I mean! lol

Dee Dee, My surgury has been put off till the first week in March.  Hooray!...I'm soo glad.  Yeah, its sad, but we cant maintain our dignity when laying on that OP table, buy maybe we can change that some day.  It should be our right.  They invent all types of idiotic gadgets, why not some little paper tri- angle dealies that STICK.  lmao lol......

Barring no complications my recoup period should be about 8 weeks or so.  No horseback riding, skiing, running marathons, driving race- cars etc. for about a year.  lol......Dont do any of that any way!  I will keep in touch, (this being the highlight of my day and all)daily.
u K>I>T>
Annie

[dee dee]

To Patrick from DeeDee. I feel the same as Annie. Your doing alot of good as far as i'm concerned in sharing your experiences with us. I dont think anyone has the right to try to pressure you into doing anything. since were all different and have different circumstances, there isn't one solution for everyone.Just keep up the good work of keeping in touch with everyone in this forum. You are trully helping alot of people.DeeDee

[FlowerChild11601]

Gina, I want you to know that I myself did not understand why I was self-medicating - did not even know that there was such a thing until starting in AA/NA.  I will tell you this.  One day a year or two ago, I was driving down the road -down a road I've been down many times before and BAM!  An image and a sequence of events suddenly popped into my head.  Clear as day I remembered the past.  I pulled over and just stared straight ahead for I don't know how long.  Then I cried.  I will not say what it was I remembered (have never told anyone yet) but I will say that it was so profound that I don't know how I could have forgotten it.  Then I realized that I had REPRESSED a very painful memory.  I know this is why I self medicate.  I also now believe the people who say, "I forgot that this happened, and I had to come forward and say something"  like the woman in the news a few years ago who testified against her own father for murdering her best friend.  There is no statute of limitations on murder and she felt she had to come forward.  

I would have never believed in repressed memory if it didn't actually happen to me.  The good news is that my health insurance covers a psychiatrist and I am going to make an appointment.  I don't know how I'm going to even tell this particular person but I thought maybe I could just turn my back to the psychiatrist and SAY IT! This would get it off my chest, you know?  Anyway Gina, I hope this has helped you.  Remember, You are not alone.  Take care, Maryanne

[Dee]

JB,after reading your post a few days ago,I have been trying to think how I was going to respond,we all have our own heartaches to live,but yours has touched me deeply,what can I say?do I say,
'God only puts on our shoulders what we can carry' there's a reason for all that happens,pain and hardship makes us stronger,
I could go on and on with these little sayings that are supposed to make us feel better,and I guess to some extent their true, depending on your philosophy on life,I almost died from my heart attack,they actually had to bring me back,I'm supposed to think,'he gave me a second chance',they say I'm suppose to feel this big 'miracle' that took place and live the rest of my life accordingly,there must be something very wrong with me,because I didn't feel this 'miracle'yes,I'm glad to be alive,glad to still be here for my children,but I didn't change my ways,shame on me.
you have been dealt a rough hand,actually a sucky hand,but you haven't thrown it in,and I'm in awe of your strength,your wife,(Marty right?)has been through so much already,my prayers are with both of you,does she have pain?and if so, does she take pain meds?please forgive me for thinking this, but,I can't help thinking with this much medical problems between the two of you,
does it really matter how much pain meds you take,I mean, unless your a junkie laying there with a needle in your arm,what does it matter if you take pain meds to make yourself feel better with the pain,deal with the medical problems first,take what you have to, to make yourself comfortable,I hope Iam saying this the right way,do you understand what I'm saying?sometimes I have a hard time expressing what I really mean,and sometimes it get's me in trouble! again, I say my prayers are with you and Marty.
take care,Dee
Tom,I understand completely what you are saying,do not feel ashamed to just be you,"Pat" seems like a nice guy,why don't you put him away and just be Tom,we all understand fully and stand behind you,Lord knows we all have tried to walk up those icy hills only to slip down,but we keep trying to make it to the top.
deedee,don't worry about the posting names,I think these wonderful people here given time will be able to distinguish between the two of us...Good luck with your surgery!(hope I haven't confused that with someone else)! lol
Annie, Good luck with yours also! everyone else, my thoughts are with each and everyone that is going through a hard time.
take care
Dee

[Gina]

Thanks for sharing your "remembering" with me. At first, I felt bad, you know those ugly feelings,not relief. Now that it has been a few days and my counselor moved my appt. up 1 week when I told him I had a revelation of why I am self-medicating, I am starting to feel some relief. Although I do not have any idea how I am going to handle my "remembering" just yet. My counselor stated that first I need to stabilize myself and my emotions. Then the steps are when you deal with those issues involving people. I totally agree as I am in no condition to approach anyone and stir up things that I can't handle on an emotional level.I believe that just telling my counselor brought me a small sense of relief. I am glad you made an appt with the psychiatrist and bet you will also feel better afterwards. Remember these people have heard everything so what you say will be no shock to him/her. Please let me know how you are progressing. Thank you!!!!!!

[J.B. to Brian and Vicky]

Thanks for the kind words!  I know what you are telling me and it means a lot.  Marty is not in any pain these days.  A few years ago when they were giving her radiation for colon cancer, she was in terrible pain and needed massive doses of morphine and later Dilaudid.  They had managed to burn a hole through her colon that went undetected for some time until peritonitis and proctititis set in. Thank God that she was so doped up that she doesn't remember most of the ordeal!  J.B.

[spook]

It is the combination of dextropropoxyphene(Darvon)and alcohol that causes this effect,NOT alchol and Alprazolam,for gods sake do your homework.SERIOUS BAD MIX!!!!!!!

[J.B. to Brian and Vicky]

I did some reading on Darvon and it basically says that if you are a drinker, stay away from it!  Sounds like you know what you are talking about.  I took Darvon many years ago and I remember that I had some very strange nightmares while on it.  I remember sleepwalking and the embarassment of peeing in my college room mate's closet. J.B.

[Thomas02]

thanks for your typically blunt, tactless reply. You're certainly not looking for any friends on this forum, are you? You may be right, but you're also a zealot and I'm getting tired of your broken-record replies. Try to discover a little humanity in between methadone doses or don't bother to address my posts. I've heard about all I need to hear from you, thank you very much.

[J.B. to Brian and Vicky]

Spook does sound a little like the old Dan, doesn't he.  Maybe he'll mellow with time like Dan finally did.

When I read about your near death experience, it made me wonder about why you went to alcohol.  Several of your earlier posts indicated that you hated it.  As you may know, I've abused alcohol, opiates and benzos in the past and paid a heavy price.  With this deadly combo, you never know what's going to happen from one day to the next.  It's suicidal to say the least! Three years ago while on Valium, Lortab and Jack Daniels I took a hammer and smashed every bone in my right hand.  Real smart,eh?  That's how badly I hated myself at that time.  I ended up in the hospital nut ward for several days and later in detox and rehab.  I can't say that drugs and alcohol have ever done anything good for me except a big wake up call that I ain't right in the head.  Most of my friends and family didn't have a clue as to what was boiling inside my brain until I snapped thanks to the above combo. Can you relate to any of my ramblings, Tom?  Just trying to be a friend.  J.B.

[Thomas02]

Hi JB,
My best to you and your dear wife, Marty. My heart goes out to you both. Next to your collective travails, my "near death experience" to which you refer seems hardly worth mentioning.

Why alcohol? That's a good question. On one level, it was like a food I would never order at a restaurant or go out and buy at a store. However, if I were at a social function where it was the main course, I would partake nonetheless simply because it was the social thing to do. That night we were celebrating my new job and it just seemed like the traditional thing to do. Of course, there's always that awareness that alcohol will potentiate whatever else you're using. That night, I just wanted to sail above the clouds, remote and immune from day-to-day realities. Well, it certainly worked, because it took me to a reality far removed from the daily grind. Ironic and poetically just, I suppose, for me to find myself in a reality much worse than the one I was escaping. I suppose I'll go with Mallory's explanation for trying to climb Everest: because it was there.

[Brighty]

I have come back after a little time away... I am confused...nothing new.... are Tom and Patrick the same person ??? I do not wish to address either of them directly lest I say something to offend without intention. Also are Dan and Spook the same person ?? I did not seem to have that idea but someone mentioned it. I think other readers may be wondering the same thing. I have not heard from Tom but he is in my prayers.Love, Brighty

[J.B. to Brian and Vicky]

I'm a bit confused myself.  If I've offended anyone, I'm sorry!  Lately I have been pretty busy and haven't really kept up on things the way I used to.  I do check in everyday though for a much limited time for inspiration.  Good to hear from you again, Brighty and I hope all is well with your daughter.  J.B.

[TimG115]

Lynn, I am not in the medical profession,but I hate to burst the doctors bubble by saying they do "NOT" check for oxycontin on the majority of drug screens..Go to this web site and you will see that drug test only look for by-products of morphine i.e. morphine,codine,and heroin..The site which is a gov't site put out by D.O.T. says that they do "NOT" test for synthetic opiates.Synthetic opiates i.e., hydrocodone(lorcet,vicodin),oxycodone( Tylox,Percodan,Percocet,and Oxycontin),hydromorphone(Dilaudid),Nubain,Stadol,Talwin,Darvocet,etc.. The web site is   www.drugfreeworkplace.com..Go to that web site and it gives in detail what is tested for and why.The web site is VERY informative so please read it in it's entirety by going into every link especially the link called "Drugs of Abuse".. Hope this helps..Tim

[spook]

Spook is Luke,who else would I want to be?,I thought It pretty urgent to clear up the lethal combination of Dextroproxyphene and ethanol problem misunderstanding as it can kill you,I sounded very cold and emotionless because it is a seriously bad mix that practically nobody has heard of,I too drank alcohol after a 300mg of propoxyphene and felt my muscle control slip away,I could not move,put it this way 800mg and a bottle of Bourbon and you are DEAD.
Medical Manuals that list drug interactions only list Warfarin.Combinations do not mention Alcohol nor do Contraindications,they NEED to be updated.

[spook]

are you dan?no.do you take Methadone?no.When was the last time you used an opiate or any drug?about a week ago.How do you feel now,fine thankyou.Are you currently addicted to any drug?no.Name the drugs you have abused and have been addicted to in the past:
LSD,BENZODIAZEPINES,CANNABIS,CODEINE,DIHYDROCODEINE,HEROIN,METHADONE,NICOTINE.Of all those what was the hardest to get over?Methadone?What was the easiest?Heroin.Which one do you feel has done the most damage?Cannabis.When will you be a drug addict again?not really sure on that one,I will have to see what comes up,hopefully won`t have to wait to long.That is not very funny,you know people are seriously addicted to these drugs and you just play with them like they are toys or something.Well if you think 130mg of methadone for 2 years is playing you know what I think(same person),I don`t know what to think,but anyway right now we are straught and happy who knows what will happen tomorrow,besides it always NOW tomorrow never comes,only a sequence of events occurs-maybe you should head on back to the Physics Forum.

[PS >>>>Annie]

Who is this guy, Spook?  Don't know.  What is his point.  Seems to be very enigmatic.  Does he offer anything of substance to this forum.  Yes.  I'd say a very personable interpretation of Pharmacology and its use.  Can we learn from him?? I think we already have.

[Thomas02]

yes, Pat is Tom. It was meant as a temporary device, but I can't seem to find a way to re-register with the site as Tom without deleting my "cookie" which contains some information pertinent to other sites that I don't want to delete. Perhaps the web master will allow me to re-register as Tom. But until he does, I'm stuck with "from pat to so-and-so for tom." Sorry for the confusion.

[cindi]

I was reading spooks "cold" reply to Tom Re:  the darvon and alcohol.  True, this combo can be deadly but so can the combo of xanax and alcohol, just like the effects of valium and alcohol.  I may not be a walking talking computer encyclopedia but I did learn a few things through trial and error and Oh yeah  Nursing school.      take care  cindi

[Bonnie]

I'm not sure what to do.I am on oxycontin for a spinal disease and it does help but I have been taking the oxy everyday just to get through my depression.I get such a high feeling while under its influence but when it starts to wear off i feel so down and I run to the cupboard  to pop another.I need it for my pain but I'm scared if I continue I will need to go to detox.What are the pro's and cons...It works great for my pain but is it going to kill me in the end??I'm sorry if I am not making sense ,I feel as if i'm not ,my mind is so off course.I appologize for taking up space here ,I have said absolutely nothing that makes sense.I need help! Bonnie

[Tara]

I had the same situation.  I was taking percoset for pain and then realized I was even taking it when I didnt have pain.  When I tried to quit, the depression hit me so hard, I started right up again.  I tapered very slowly and also went on zoloft.  I still have major cravings and get minimal depression.  I could deal with all of the physical withdrawals but not the mental.  Now I still have major cravings and the depression is hardly noticeable.  I have had a few breakdowns and am in a constant struggle with myself, always trying to come up with some excuse why I really need to take the percoset.

As for damage to your system, you should post to J.B. as he has a great deal of experience with this and is currently dealing with the consequences of long-term drug/alchohol abuse.  Listening to what he is going through is enough to make me resist my cravings.

Also, Maryanne or Flowerchild 11660 -something like that- has gone through detox I think and has actually relapsed.  She tried to quit but had nothing to deal with the pain that started all of this.  You should try posting to her for further info. on this.  Hopefully, if you are not at that stage, you can stop before you get there.

Take care,

Tara

[J.B. to Brian and Vicky]

No, nothing you have said is senseless or taking up space.  I understand fully what you are going through and will help you in some way.  Don't just get the feeling that your concerns are unworthy of our attention here.  Yes, Oxy does make you feel better whether you are in pain or not.  Why not join the rest of us here who are in the same boat and admit that you have a problem with drugs?  This long journey starts with "step number one". Be advised that you will be in good company from now on. J.B.

[Claire]

Firstly, I am new to this site.  I stumbled across it while searching for answers to my inner most questions.  I have been off of oxycontin and percocet for 4 1/2 weeks.  I still have very little energy which is my biggest complaint.  It has been very refreshing to read some of these posts.  I now know that I am not alone and most of what I feel is "normal."  

In response to one person's post regarding the oxycontin.  They said that the mental withdrawal is much harder than the physical.  I then say to them, you must not have been taking it very long.  The physical withdrawal was the worse experience I have every had.  I journaled the whole experience so that I would NEVER forget and take them again.  My writing is scrawled like a child.  I couldn't spell either.  I've only looked back upon those pages once.  The painful memories they evoked were too much for me.  

My advice to all... avoid pain medication like the plague!  Even though I began my odyssey as a chronic pain suffer, I can tell you that it wasn't worth it.  I am actually handling my pain now with simple things like hot baths and heating pads, as well as meditation and learning to be a less stressed person.

Thanks for taking the time to read this...
Sincerely,
Claire

[spook]

You have shown a strong tendency to not become addicted to the emotional pleasure Pain killers produce,you should be back to normal in a few months,I hope the pain killers were of some benefit while you were taking them,sometimes the withdrawals make it seem not a fair trade off,maybe your pain is not chronic anymore,maybe it is not as intense,but for many they NEED them and do become addicted also.
But for you things are looking much better,you are an excellent example of the paradox of so called addictive drugs.

[Claire]

I guess I wasn't exactly forthright in my first post.  I did have a problem with prescription drugs.  Throughout my teen/adult life I have craved drugs.  As a teen, I drank like there was no tomorrow as well as smoking pot.  I even dropped acid once and smoked angel dust (elephant tranquilizer).  Then I became pregnant at the ripe ol' age of 18.  This caused me to settle down and realize the error of my ways.  I can't say that my new found resolution lasted because I met my husband at a party at his house.  Obviously I was drinking again.  We married (my son was only 9 months old), had twin girls, became active in the church, etc.  We are a respectable middle class family.  No one would ever know the demons that exist in my closet.  I've spent almost 22 years masking the insecurities within me with pain medication.  That's the way "respectable" people get high.  My drug of choice used to be Tylenol #3, but soon graduated to vicodin.  Every time I was prescribed these drugs I would ALWAYS take them more and longer than prescribed.  I too know the game of how to get drugs from a doctor.  It's easy because I don't look like a drug addict. About three years ago, all the emotions I've tried to suppress came to the surface in the form of TMJD which led to Myofacial Pain Syndrome.  For the first time in my life I really was in horrible pain.  The ear aches were the worse.  After many tests and at least 10 different doctors I was sent to a pain clinic.  This is where the oxycontin/percocet odyssey began.  I was started on 10mg 3X a day.  That did nothing so the drug was increased to 20mg 3X a day.  That was fine, but after a few months and new very stressful job, I started having break through pain.  That is when percocet was introduced.  2 5/500 pills 2X a day in addition to the oxycontin.  As of November of last year, my tolerance built up to percocet and 40mg of oxycontin 3X a day.  My marriage was in shambles because I was such a ***** to everyone.  My husband and I had not had sex in almost a year.  But if you were to ask me, I was a perfectly functioning person.  My life took a turn when I realized in January that the ridges in my mouth were gone (these are due to my constant chewing at night).  I realized how much I hated being on pain medication and decided to go cold turkey with the help of my general doctor who prescribed ativan and catpress (sp?).  To make a long story a little shorter, I've been on both sides of the coin.  I've had the mental addiction (the cravings will be something I need to deal with for the rest of my life) and the physical addiction.  The key to my recovery is learning to not be such a high strung person so I don't grind my teeth as much which should stop the muscle spasms.  Mind you, I am far from being pain free, but I'm dealing with it on my own terms.  As for my marriage, it's like we've fallen in love all over again.  And the sex has never been better.
-Claire

[Bonnie]

Thank you for your comforting comment J.B.
I am aware of the fact I am an addict but I am not sure I am ready to admit that to my doctor.I am so petrified of the road I am going to have to face someday soon.I am not a strong person and I'm not sure if withdrawl (withdrawal) will put me over the edge.I know you all know whati'm feeling and have or are where i am.When do you know when its time to stop and get help?What do you do for the still existing pain that got you in this hell to begin with??I am so scared!!My husband thinks I can just stop taking it and be done with it.He doesnt believe in toxics being put in our bodies.I am alone here and fear of not being able to succeed.I will continue reading all your comments though it does give me some since of not feeling all alone in this battle.Thanx for listening again.
           Bonnie

[spook]

You still sound like you are doing very well,I would like to point out that I have used/abused Opioids for over 20 years,I have had breaks greater than 12 months and never used daily for more that about 2 years.I have cravings for about a month or so at most after I get sick of the High,then I completely forget the drug.Have you ever fallen in love and had your heart broken,well to me it is like that,the craving goes,I hope you are like me and can get over the cravings.Although I am a bit strange in that I do not resent my Opioid use and have no plans on giving up using them anymore than I plan on not falling in love again.But we are all different and I do not want to set a bad example,like they are illegal and the more you use the more chance their may be some unforseen problem,Like I overdosed on Heroin about 3 months ago and was immediated revived,but if I had been alone I would be DEAD now.I have Hep C too from IV use and no liver damage,but that could change,I get fatigue from the C virus,I don`t know will I ever learn?.Maybe I do not have as much to lose as you, being a Single White male on a planet with 6 billion people,like who will miss me?Actually my parents may, so I will try to stop my intermittent use of Opioids.I have not used anything for about 10 days and have NO problem,NO craving nothing,so maybe I just try to finish writing my Book.
goodbye and good luck.

[J.B. to Brian and Vicky]

Yes, Bonnie, I know what you are going through. My own wife thinks that I should be able to quit any time I feel like it, too.  She smokes two packs of cigarttes a day and has lung cancer!  See the irony in the way our loved ones react to our problems?

As for me, I know it's time to quit opiods when I get started on them again.  It always ends up the same way every time.  I start wanting more and more and start doing some pretty insane things to get them.  Like looking through friend's and family's medicine cabinets and stealing them for instance.  Like writing my own scripts.  Like buying them from total strangers.  It'll go as far out as you let it.  To the point of death!

My first detox was probably the worst and scariest but probably the best thing that could have happened to me at the time.  It's scary because you just don't know what's in store for you at the time.  Withdrawals are like having a major case of the flu and all you can think about is getting another "fix" to get well.  It's major anxiety and panic time.  I was on a lockup ward and all I could do was ride it out with the help of Valium injections.

About the pain that got you into all of this, that's another matter.  An addiction specialist may be helpful here.  Just talking to people in the same boat in a support group can do wonders.  The main thing is that there is no disgrace in being an addict.  Untreated addiction is a disgrace however.  Pray for strength and get the ball rolling!  J.B.

[chadder]

Hello everyone, I have been reading most of your post and am intrigued.
I was in a major automobile accident 2 years ago. In this accident I sustained major injuries to my spinal column as well as my spinal cord. (Lots of nerve damage)
In the beginning I was on very strong doses of morphine, but as I healed,my medication was titrated down to acceptable doses to control my pain.
At this date I am on percocet 10mg x 4-6 daily.
My pain management doctor wants me to have a pump put in, but I am refusing this because I could not handle the way morphine makes me feel.
As for the percocet, I have tried the timed released version and found that it did not work as well as the quick acting.
The reason I am posting this evening is because after all the posts I have read tonight, my heart goes out to each and everyone of you because I know the battle that you face on a daily basis.
But the question that keeps going through my mind is this....
If the physicians who prescribe these kinds of medications, and know how addictive they are if not closely monitored, are not being held responsible?
I mean if a doctor is prescribing a person 120 pills a month and then refills the medication after two weeks of use, shouldnt that be a red flag.
Why would they wait until you are so deep into the addiction that the withdrawl (withdrawal) makes the person seek out other doctors to prescribe more drugs.
I think that if a person was more comfortable with their physician he or she would be able to discuss any and everything.
I know that I have a drug problem, but mine is at the other end of the table. I want to get off of these drugs but cannot of fear from dying from the severe pain I am punished with everyday.
If I could take each and everyone of your pain and problems, I would do it in a minute. But I know this cannot be and I just pray that you find what you need to make it in this life as happy and as pain free as possible.

[spook]

You are lucky person who have misfortune.A lot of people have Addictive personalities,and escalate their dose and duration of Narcotic Analgesic past that needed to stop physical pain,they are not mentally ill or anything,it is normal and natural for humans to seek pleasure.
You do not seem that interested in Opioid euphoria?,you could have stayed on the morphine,you can get hold of lots of Opioids and choose not to.This is also normal,as Opioids are not universally addictive,I am not too bad either,I like the euphoria but get sick(bored) of the feeling and end up going straught,many times I have done this,even when I am using Opioids and physically and psychologically dependent on them,I do not feel addicted or out of control.I choose when to start and when to stop and never complain!.So it is a complex issue,we are all very different in our psychological response to Opioids and Life for that matter,some peoples NEEDS seem to be greater than others,due to Genetic,social,adaptive,responsive mechanisms of coping with fear,stress,arousal,etc,etc,their requirements for god,wives,husbands,mothers,friends,fathers,children,OPIOIDS,etc, far exceed others and yet some bravely do it alone without any such LUXURIES.
The Doctors are doing a VERY good Job,on one hand the patients demands an Opioid because of pain and the Doctor feels compelled to relieve their patients pain,on the other hand they have a hoard of patients whom they know are not in much pain anymore but keep coming back for more.Then they have to read about how the Opioid wrecked the persons life(on forums like this) and that they cannot get off it,etc,etc.Do we blame the Doctor,Opioid or Patient or society OR all,maybe combinations of the above,in my humble opinion the patient is responsible for the escalation of dosage and the refusal to go through the Withdrawals and feel good again,so they spend their lives trapped.Some even blame the addictive nature of the drug,as opposed to their own addictive personality.It is getting to the point that Doctors are relucant to prescribe Opioids to anybody even those in obvious severe pain because so many  people simply `refuse` to stop using them once prescribed,they say they have an illness called addiction and that the Opioid gave it to them,but in the end it boils down to going through the pain of Withdrawal and reclaiming your life.My advice to people is stop complaining,get off the Opioids if you do not "NEED" them,and get on with your life,because people who are in actual REAL PHYSICAL PAIN are now having problems getting pain relief,because of your ACTIONS.Their are therapies, antidepressants,neuroleptics,antianxiety agents and a host of more appropriate medications and treatments for people with addictive personalities ie borderline personality disorders or Neurotic/Psychotic disorders who are self medicating with Opioids.

         Yours sincerely L.G.EDWARD PdPHysDa(`pretend` Doctor/Psychiatrist/Drug Addict)

[Gloria]

Chadder, if your docs are recommending an intrathecal pump for pain control, that would be an excellent choice for long-term pain relief.  With the pump, you will not feel any of the unpleasant side effects you had with taking morphine by mouth.  The dose of morphine is minute, plus, they usually add clonidine and/or lidocaine to the infusion to enhance the morphine, so even less morphine is needed.  You are doing well on your current dosing of percocets, but unless you periodically withdraw from them, you will develop tolerance and require more to achieve the same effect.  That does not make you an addict, as Spook pointed out, it is just an expected consequence of using opiois long-term.  Hope this helps.  Maria

[Gloria]

Excellent post, my friend.  Maria

[steez719]

opioids are the devils way of showing us hes real. sometimes i dont know if its better to just suffer the pain. then the withdrawls start and i go back to the pills. its like you have either 2 choices, live life in pain or live life as a addict. not sure what one is worse anymore. god how i wish there was a effective means of pain relief without going through the motions of opioid addiction...