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Oxycotin Detox
by CHAD FROM PHILLY!!!, Aug 18, 2000 12:00AM
This board was suggested to me by a friend and I am so glad that I have found it. I have read most of the previous Oxy questions but still would like some additional help.
I had back surgery about a year ago and was prescribed percocet for the pain. Eventually my doctor took me off of that and said that he would not ruin my life with pain meds. Now comes the tricky part! I have also been sharing the perks with my girlfriend who consumes the same amount as I. We were now taking about seven perks apiece a day. My Doctor said that he would not "ruin my life" but he knew of a pain managment doctor who would. I went to this doctor and was amazed at how eaisly he wrote out scripts. Immediatly he put me on 20mg 2x a day (oxycotin) and gave me an additional 40 perks a month for break-through pain. Which by the way I have none of. Anyway, we started eating this pills slowly at first but were eventually up to about 80-100mg. a day. Needless to say when you times this addiction by two it gets very expensive when you run out. We took this medication for about four months and then one day last week realized how theese pills were ruining our lives. Everything from not having sex (I am 28, she is 26) to not being able to function without the pills. I am on workmans comp and have alot of free time, she does not work. We would wake up every day...peel two 20's each and chew them up before even getting out of bed. After that we would "fly" around town doing a whole lot of nothing. Sorry to ramble on but we really have no one else to talk to disscuss this with. Today is day seven, we are pretty much detoxed in the sence that we can now go out of the house but my girlfriend still experiences cold chills and sweats during the night but she is slowly getting better. She also takes xanax once in awhile to help with this. Remeber I get 60 oxy 20's and 40 perks a month. Now is the hard part. I have the next two month scripts sitting on my desk waiting to be filled. I want to know what we should do in order to stay off of this stuff? Please do not suggest any AA type support groups as we are not about the whole group thing. We are however very serious about this so please do not take our not wanting to go to NA as a sign of us not wanting to quit. When you consider that if you sit at home and chew a couple of them little devils up EVERYTHING in life is interesting. Without them, we find ourselves bored and depressed. Will this pass? Will we be able to enjoy and be interested in things as we were on the pills? Two nights ago I went to see a concert totaly straight and was bored out of my mind. The show itself was great but I kept imagining how much better it would have been on Oxy's. I would like to know if there is anyone out there that is having the same problems as we are and if anyone got through it to the point were they now enjoy life to the fullist? Thank you so much for taking the time to listen and I look forward to your replies.
I had back surgery about a year ago and was prescribed percocet for the pain. Eventually my doctor took me off of that and said that he would not ruin my life with pain meds. Now comes the tricky part! I have also been sharing the perks with my girlfriend who consumes the same amount as I. We were now taking about seven perks apiece a day. My Doctor said that he would not "ruin my life" but he knew of a pain managment doctor who would. I went to this doctor and was amazed at how eaisly he wrote out scripts. Immediatly he put me on 20mg 2x a day (oxycotin) and gave me an additional 40 perks a month for break-through pain. Which by the way I have none of. Anyway, we started eating this pills slowly at first but were eventually up to about 80-100mg. a day. Needless to say when you times this addiction by two it gets very expensive when you run out. We took this medication for about four months and then one day last week realized how theese pills were ruining our lives. Everything from not having sex (I am 28, she is 26) to not being able to function without the pills. I am on workmans comp and have alot of free time, she does not work. We would wake up every day...peel two 20's each and chew them up before even getting out of bed. After that we would "fly" around town doing a whole lot of nothing. Sorry to ramble on but we really have no one else to talk to disscuss this with. Today is day seven, we are pretty much detoxed in the sence that we can now go out of the house but my girlfriend still experiences cold chills and sweats during the night but she is slowly getting better. She also takes xanax once in awhile to help with this. Remeber I get 60 oxy 20's and 40 perks a month. Now is the hard part. I have the next two month scripts sitting on my desk waiting to be filled. I want to know what we should do in order to stay off of this stuff? Please do not suggest any AA type support groups as we are not about the whole group thing. We are however very serious about this so please do not take our not wanting to go to NA as a sign of us not wanting to quit. When you consider that if you sit at home and chew a couple of them little devils up EVERYTHING in life is interesting. Without them, we find ourselves bored and depressed. Will this pass? Will we be able to enjoy and be interested in things as we were on the pills? Two nights ago I went to see a concert totaly straight and was bored out of my mind. The show itself was great but I kept imagining how much better it would have been on Oxy's. I would like to know if there is anyone out there that is having the same problems as we are and if anyone got through it to the point were they now enjoy life to the fullist? Thank you so much for taking the time to listen and I look forward to your replies.
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After 5 weeks of being off opiates, I am definitely starting to feel better! It is a slow & uncomfortable recovery but I do feel a lot better than a week or 2 ago. I choose to go to AA meetings every day to keep me from going back to opiates. That is a real danger to anyone who takes them for fun. The meetings really work for me. I do miss Oxy in some ways but after 28 years of using various drugs, I am ready to stay sober. Giving up Oxy's was the hardest thing I have ever done & I am so glad I did. My sex drive is back, I don't have to worry about having a constant supply of pills to prevent the terrible withdrawal I would certainly go through if I missed a dose, & I feel a lot better about myself.
You should toss the scripts & start living life as you were both meant to - straight! It's a much better way of life, simpler, cheaper, healthier.
Good luck to you both!
You are a lucky man to have a iron willed girlfriend who will support you through this.
Are you able to exercise at all? Walking, running, tennis, basketball...swimming....anything that will make your body and mind feel better? It really helps..honest I have done it..
May I ask you if you drink alcohol as well?
If you are abusing opiates and have no pain as you say, the best thing you could do would be to toss the scripts and seek some sort of counseling. The fact you would consider using street meth indicates you might be well off talking to someone who is trained in addiction.
You really sound like a smart guy from the way you have written the forum here.
Best of luck and what life has to offer.
Ronnie
Right now im willing to try anything!!!! If you guys know anything about the methadone maintenece it would be great to here comments or experiences. Thanks for your time, whoever may be reading this
If they're going to let this site die on the vine
Why don't they just go offline?
dear chad my friend i know exactly where you at brother. i live in australia and was put on oxy's for pain management relief regarding tension headaches of a sever nature along with morphine pethedine and every other narcotic you can think of anyway back to this story.
about 1 year and a bit a go my practitioner introduced me to the oxy's. fisrt it was 20mg's a day slowly mivng up to about 160 milligrams a day. i sustained this use for over a year my brother and know exactly what you mean by 'flying' i felt energetic no pin but i was to high but i had become physically and physiologically addicted.
anyway to cut along story short i went to visit my fiance in mexico city and had a certain amount of oxy's with me enough to sustain the six week visit however i had much of them stolen and this is when the withdrawal hit. **** brother the ******* hardest days of my life the sweats the chills like your girlfriend convulsions inability to sleep for five nights etc etc i had it all plus heaps of crying and feeling severely depressed and low.
and chad try getting anything for de-tox in a ******* country which does not allow any narcotic use legally and medically the fuckers i thought at the time.
anyway i am back in oz now and it has been about 2 months since no oxy's. my advice and comment to you and your partner is hang tough brother, rip the ******* repeat scripts up and believe me as i know what your both going through that it will pass. it takes the mind chemistry and the neurotransmitters time to return to normal physiologically so listen to me remember the **** feeling the feeling of depression and non highness pass with time just hang tough and if you still feel depressed go and see a therapist as narcotics do cause depression my brother of a clinical nature okay.
regards and drop me a line brother. we are united world wide with the same **** chad.
First of all, you're in no shape to socialize or take care of anyone else. Try to do this somewhere quiet away from people where you can just rest and, if you're like me, watch some good movies to take your mind off the whole ordeal.
Yes, Valium is an excellent drug to come down from narcotics on. But you have to have the discipline to use it properly. I won't advise you on dosage because everyone is different. I will say you need to take it on a schedule fairly close to how it was prescribed for you. Don't wait until you're hurting to take it, just maintain a safe, regular schedule until you're able to sleep on your own. Usually a slightly higher dose gradually tapered down to nothing works best. But don't overdo the dosage. You don't need a Valium overdose on top of your oxy withdrawal. But Valium is just one part of the recipe. There are a constellation of withdrawal symptoms you need to address. You're probably having the runs -- get some over-the-counter Imodium (immodium) pills immediately (brand name is more potent, I'm not sure why). You can get them in any supermarket. Take the full recommended dose of two Imodiums as soon as you get them and then each time the runs or the cramps return.
Body, muscle cramps and aches: If you have access to a Jacuzzi, you're home free! Take one every few hours if you can. Or at least run lots of hot baths. This is probably the single most effective method for easing what is for me the worst aspect of withdrawal. It will also help you relax even more from the Valium and overcome some of your anxiety.
If it works for you, normal dosages of Advil may help for the aches, but the hot baths are much more effective.
The Valium will make you want to eat eventually - do so. Try to eat good food. Take some multivitamins. Drink lots of fluids. And absolutely no alcohol!!! The Valium and the Imodium (immodium) are really the only drugs you need.
It's best if you've got someone else to give you the Valium, but you'll have to work that out yourself.
Anyway, I'll end this so I can transmit to you.
I'll look for your posts if you want to talk. Good luck. Don't be afraid. A couple more days and you're over the worst of it. Use my tips. They're "battle tested" for sure!
chad........
I hesitate to tell you this, because we addicts so readily take drug-taking to extremes, but for oxycodone or any narcotic withdrawal, Imodium (immodium) is, from our point of view, just what the doctor ordered. Imodium (immodium) (loperimide hydrochloride) is actually an "opioid" drug, that is, an opiate-like substance. Besides relieving you of those god-awful cramps and runs (the only over-the-counter drug that will, by the way - don't waste your time with Kaopectate or anything like that), Imodium (immodium) will also (slightly) ease your oxy withdrawal itself. But heed my words: You can't, can't, can't use Imodium (immodium) to get high!! If you try to take more than the dose recommended for treating the runs, you'll quickly become so constipated you'll pray for death. Besides, more than two Imodiums really doesn't help the withdrawal any more than two does. Don't experiment. Just take my word for it.
After 4 days or so, the worst will be over. The brutal symptoms we have just addressed will be replaced with subtle, maddening ones: Cravings, listlessness and depression. Valium will not help you with these. You'll just turn yourself into a Valium addict. Focus on the exercise methods I advised Angie on in this thread (above). Adopt a regular, daily routine of some kind of exercise that eases tension and revitalizes you. Finding the right one just might be your salvation. If you can't do anything strenuous, that's OK.
I got through a 90-day residential detox by taking long walks in natural surroundings (parks, etc.) with a Walkman - an hour at a time two, three times a day - anytime the walls started to close in on me. Music, constant motion and the private meditation a Walkman lets one do was really a revelation - it worked so well. Music can heal. Walking keeps you from bugging out. And the meditation it affords is something you really need to be doing anyway. It's a chance to think things through away from all the noise and pressure of other people. You will find that it puts you in a state somewhat like the one you were in on oxy. Trust the voice of experience on this one.
Well, that's all I can think of right now. Good luck, Charlie. You can make it if you're smart about it. I'll look for your posts tonight if you want to talk. Same goes for Angie.
Drug taking is really a solitary pursuit. We might take them with someone else, but it's really an inside job we're doing with the chemicals. We become obsessed with our own internal world. We go up, we go down. We forget that it isn't normal to just think about ourselves 24 hours a day. We lose our human perspective. When we try to come clean for the first time, we go about it the same way we went about doing drugs - by ourselves.
Chad, you have carved out a rough road for yourself because you have chosen to do this by yourself. But as much as you don't want to admit it, your story is just like a million others. It's just like mine and just like a bunch of people meeting right now in little rooms all over the world. But far from that being a bad thing, it offers you an answer, or the beginnings of an answer, to what you feel tonight. What you need to do is share your story with others just like you. And then listen to their stories.
You feel disgusted, angry and ashamed at where you've wound up. But you don't have to feel that way. And you don't deserve to feel that way. You're a good and decent human being who has succumbed to something as natural as breathing and sleeping. The problem is, until you make contact with the rest of us, you will continue to feel as you do. Only we can understand. Only we can help you climb out of the pit you're in. And only you can help us. Get out of your room and find a meeting. AA, NA or whatever. I know you hate hearing this - I know I did -- but you are no different than the rest of us. You can't do this alone. You just can't. Take a chance. Just do it and the rest will just happen. I hope this isn't turning you off but it's what you need to hear. Make contact now before you relapse.
I'll look for your posts tonight. If you post, I will answer. We ARE out here.
Thank you for your concern but like I said I've been through this before and I know what to expect. I've done the leg kicks and the bad feeling that goes along with kicking. I've even made up a name for it - it is the "codiene kick". I know this is no joking matter but I've got to keep myself amused right now, keep it light, or I'll change my mind. Chad - don't lose it man, you've gone too far to quit now. Keep me posted and I'll stay up as long as you want to keep talking. Thank guys,
Ken
I am 47 years old. I live in Southern California, where I was born. I have been a prescription narcotics addict for 27 years - and I will always be one. Yet now I have a good life, success in my profession, a 17-year marriage which is better now than ever, a wonderful son in college who loves me. I am, for the most part, at peace with who I am. Yet I am still a drug addict. The hardest thing I ever did was to forgive myself for my addiction and for all the things that had happened because of it. It will probably be the hardest thing you ever do. But, in time, you will.
In 1995, I woke up, or came to, in a motel room on the Pacific Coast Highway. My wife and son had fled the night before. I had no job. No money. No friends. I was facing a jail sentence for prescription forgery. And I was going into withdrawal. All I had was an overwhelming anger and guilt over what I had made of my life. I knew about recovery places, about AA and groups like it. But I was no joiner. I was cynical about any group or doctrine that seemed to take my individuality away. I still am not a joiner. I don't subscribe to religion. I am still suspicious of people who "want me to join and think like them." I always will be.
But that morning I was so sick and tired and desperate that I called a recovery group out of the Yellow Pages. Like most groups, they were structured around the AA model of recovery. But I didn't want to hear anything about that. After all, what did I have in common with a bunch of drunks?
In the hospital, I started reading the "big book' of AA - it doesn't seem to have any other title. It was filled with stories about the lives of different alcoholics, including someone named Bill W., the founder of AA. From the first page, I realized that his story was my story. In fact, all the stories in the book were my story. (You say you want some inspirational material - this book is it. Also see the James Woods movie, "My Name is Bill W.")
Anyway, I was so beaten down and defeated and frightened that I had to finally choke down the seemingly unpalatable truth that I really was just like everyone else. I was not a special case. There was nothing extraordinary about my history or my present situation. At first, I found that to be hateful. I had always taken pride in being independent. But as I read these stories, I realized that, just as their stories of addiction and ruin were my story, so could be their stories of recovery and redemption. I take comfort now in knowing that others have walked this path before me. I thank whatever force there is that gives us all life that I am not, and never was, alone.
One of the first things that happened to me when I went to an AA meeting (it doesn't fundamentally matter what drug you're addicted to), was that I lost the shame and self-loathing that you are now experiencing. That remains the single most important benefit I have gotten from my participation in this group. Yet I am still not a willing joiner. I am still always on the lookout for cultists (and there are some in AA). But I learned to see myself through the eyes of my fellow members, people I knew to be decent and moral and worth saving. I learned a profound truth about the connection we all share and the redemptive power of friendship, mutual respect and hope.
I returned from the abyss because I accepted these truths. I somewhat understand myself now, with all my strengths and weaknesses. I forgive myself for my weaknesses as I forgive others for theirs. The first step out of the abyss for you, Chad, is to forgive yourself for committing the "crime" of being human.
To answer your question, no, you can't reverse 13 years of addiction. But you can learn from those years and make the coming ones better.
Get the Big Book and start reading. Try going to a meeting. No one will make you speak or do anything else for that matter. It's not that AA is the only way, but it is A way out of the darkness.
I know that every human being on the face of this earth has something to teach me. The people you will meet in AA don't know everything, but they all can teach you something about yourself and about what it really means to be human. Bill W. discovered something profound about humanity when, in a desperate attempt to avoid what almost certainly would have been a fatal relapse, he sought out another alcoholic just to sit and talk for an evening. One man helped the other stay sober for that one night. One man helped the other remember what is was to have dignity. There is a universe of meaning in that meeting. I know that, 50 or 60 years later, that meeting changed my life.
Take it as a suggestion. A place to start. Or just food for thought. In any event, the book's a great read.
From where you're at right now, it's almost impossible to feel that life is a miracle and that you have every chance to be a part of it again. But it is and you will.
And what about a drug called robaxin? Is it addicting?
I can't believe how many people out there have "my" problem. It's comforting to know that I'm not the only one to get myself into this mess! One more question: if you detox and get through the first 6-7 days, then fall off and take the pills for a couple days, are the withdrawals as bad as the first time around?
I was on disability for 7 months following my back surgery in 1993. It was during this time that my drug taking took on mammoth proportions, leading to the motel room in 1995 I mentioned. If you’re not used to not working, disability can be very hard psychologically. You feel useless, your mind gets lazy and your memory starts to go, making you that much more afraid of going back to work. Of course, the real danger is that you have no structure or purpose to your day. You have all the time in the world to think about getting high. You make all sorts of rationalizations to the effect, “I’m off of work anyway. I might as well enjoy it while it lasts.” So you get high even more. While on disability I added a vicious Klonopin, Valium and Ativan (all benzos) habit to my narco habit. Coming off of them at the end of disability almost killed me – literally. Read my posts on the Klonopin thread somewhere below. Just be aware that disability is really perilous for addicts.
Why AA? I only suggest it because 1) it’s what helped me 2) I am convinced you can’t beat this alone 3) you really need a plan on how to proceed – some kind of daily structure to your recovery with daily feedback from somebody familiar with addiction, addicts and all their tricks, gambits and excuses. Even though you’ve been through the worst of the immediate withdrawal, I might as well tell you that you’re going to continue to get powerful jolts of craving and depression and obsessive thinking about oxy. I’m sure you already know what I’m talking about. I can’t stress too much that you won’t be able to do this without some kind of structured, expert help. It’s just the way it is.
About god and the higher power, etc. : The part of you that got you into this mess is your ego. Chad’s ego thought is could use a drug as powerful and addictive (possibly more) than morphine and somehow Chad would be the one guy who wouldn’t get hooked. Admitting you’re powerless against oxy isn’t as much about believing in a god as it is getting your ego out of the way so some of the smarter points about recovery can sink in and take hold. As long as your ego is in charge, you’ll simply never get off the oxy. Period. Hitting bottom is necessary because there is a certain humility you must have to recover from this disease. Your stated objection in your last post is the text-book line of the addict in denial. One of the good things about hooking up at least a little with AA is that they’ve heard all the lines before. And you will try to use every one of those lines. In AA you won’t be allowed to get away with it.
Whatever level of involvement you might have with AA, you will learn a lot about why you use and why you haven’t been able to quit. You’ll also learn to recognize the signs and the lines that signal a coming relapse. Self-knowledge is vital if you’re going to beat this disease.
Anyway, I don’t want to sound like an ad for AA. It’s one of many alternatives. But you need to make contact with one of them. Again, Chad is no exception, regardless of what his ego wants to believe.
You can get a book at any meeting. AA has a web site with meetings for your area. You can probably buy it over the net as well. Since you like to read, you should do it while you have the time to sit and read.
I don’t really qualify as a good AA member because I have never been able to achieve or maintain total abstinence. But I have been able to restrict my use to drugs that address my chronic pain without dominating my life. AA members would call that ‘bargaining,” and it is. What can I say?
I haven’t been able to stop using but I’ve gotten practical about what I use. I have a litmus test for drugs. It goes like this:
Does the drug cause me to … miss work (or quit, etc.), neglect my overall health, affect my memory or thought processes, neglect my family, do or say things that I wouldn’t if sober, spend money on it that I should be using for other things? Etc.
As I said, that’s called bargaining. But it’s the best I can do. We do what we can do. The main thing is, I don’t go to meetings or talk on-line and claim I’m abstinent about drugs. I’m a drug addict, as I said. A card-carrying one of 27 years. It’s part of what I am. I don’t recommend it, but it’s what I’m stuck with. I just do the best I can.
Well, gotta go back to work. Take care.
I was on disability for 7 months following my back surgery in 1993. It was during this time that my drug taking took on mammoth proportions, leading to the motel room in 1995 I mentioned. If you’re not used to not working, disability can be very hard psychologically. You feel useless, your mind gets lazy and your memory starts to go, making you that much more afraid of going back to work. Of course, the real danger is that you have no structure or purpose to your day. You have all the time in the world to think about getting high. You make all sorts of rationalizations to the effect, “I’m off of work anyway. I might as well enjoy it while it lasts.” So you get high even more. While on disability I added a vicious Klonopin, Valium and Ativan (all benzos) habit to my narco habit. Coming off of them at the end of disability almost killed me – literally. Read my posts on the Klonopin thread somewhere below. Just be aware that disability is really perilous for addicts.
Why AA? I only suggest it because 1) it’s what helped me 2) I am convinced you can’t beat this alone 3) you really need a plan on how to proceed – some kind of daily structure to your recovery with daily feedback from somebody familiar with addiction, addicts and all their tricks, gambits and excuses. Even though you’ve been through the worst of the immediate withdrawal, I might as well tell you that you’re going to continue to get powerful jolts of craving and depression and obsessive thinking about oxy. I’m sure you already know what I’m talking about. I can’t stress too much that you won’t be able to do this without some kind of structured, expert help. It’s just the way it is.
About god and the higher power, etc. : The part of you that got you into this mess is your ego. Chad’s ego thought is could use a drug as powerful and addictive (possibly more) than morphine and somehow Chad would be the one guy who wouldn’t get hooked. Admitting you’re powerless against oxy isn’t as much about believing in a god as it is getting your ego out of the way so some of the smarter points about recovery can sink in and take hold. As long as your ego is in charge, you’ll simply never get off the oxy. Period. Hitting bottom is necessary because there is a certain humility you must have to recover from this disease. Your stated objection in your last post is the text-book line of the addict in denial. One of the good things about hooking up at least a little with AA is that they’ve heard all the lines before. And you will try to use every one of those lines. In AA you won’t be allowed to get away with it.
Whatever level of involvement you might have with AA, you will learn a lot about why you use and why you haven’t been able to quit. You’ll also learn to recognize the signs and the lines that signal a coming relapse. Self-knowledge is vital if you’re going to beat this disease.
Anyway, I don’t want to sound like an ad for AA. It’s one of many alternatives. But you need to make contact with one of them. Again, Chad is no exception, regardless of what his ego wants to believe.
You can get a book at any meeting. AA has a web site with meetings for your area. You can probably buy it over the net as well. Since you like to read, you should do it while you have the time to sit and read.
I don’t really qualify as a good AA member because I have never been able to achieve or maintain total abstinence. But I have been able to restrict my use to drugs that address my chronic pain without dominating my life. AA members would call that ‘bargaining,” and it is. What can I say?
I haven’t been able to stop using but I’ve gotten practical about what I use. I have a litmus test for drugs. It goes like this:
Does the drug cause me to … miss work (or quit, etc.), neglect my overall health, affect my memory or thought processes, neglect my family, do or say things that I wouldn’t if sober, spend money on it that I should be using for other things? Etc.
As I said, that’s called bargaining. But it’s the best I can do. We do what we can do. The main thing is, I don’t go to meetings or talk on-line and claim I’m abstinent about drugs. I’m a drug addict, as I said. A card-carrying one of 27 years. It’s part of what I am. I don’t recommend it, but it’s what I’m stuck with. I just do the best I can.
Well, gotta go back to work. Take care.
OxyContin has been approved for the treatment of moderate to severe pain which requires treatment for more than a few days, such as the pain associated with musculoskeletal conditions.
OxyContin tablets are taken every 12 hours. Most pain medications must be taken every three to six hours.
OxyContin is available in three tablet strengths (10, 20, and 40 mg).
OxyContin tablets are available by prescription only. The tablets are to be taken whole. Taking broken, chewed, or crushed tablets could lead to the rapid release and absorption of a potentialy toxic dose of oxycodone.
OxyContin is contraindicated in patients with known hypersensitivity to oxycodone, or in any situation where opioids are contraindicated. This includes patients with significant respiratory depression (in unmonitored settings or the absence of resuscitative equipment), and patients with acute or severe bronchial asthma or hypercarbia. OxyContin is contraindicated in any patients who has or is suspected of having paralytic ileus.
OxyContin, like all opioid analgesics, may cause severe hypotension in an individual whose ability to maintain blood pressure has been compromised by a depleted blood volume, or after concurrent administration with drugs such as phenothiazines or other agents which compromise vasomotor tone. OxyContin may produce orthostatic hypotension in ambulatory patients. OxyContin, like all opioid analgesics, should be administered with caution to patients in circulatory shock, since vasodilation produced by the drug may further reduce cardiac output and blood pressure.
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In
Anyway, I wish everyone out there fighting this thing to keep trying. I never thought that I could have pictured life without drugs. Today I feel that there is hope. Mainly, because of my will power and the words of encouragment that my girlfriend and I have read here.
Now, what the hell do I do with all this time? I was considering a hobby or school or anything to keep my mind busy. I hear serial killers are pretty active people. Maybee I'll try that! LOL.... C H A D
I read your post with your questions a few hours ago. I wanted to answer you but had to think a while on just what I should say. I do not want anyone to read my story and think it's wise or even possible to emulate me. Let me first say that if I had my wish it would be that I had never used a single opiate drug or, for that matter, any mood altering substance. Let me also say that it is still my hope that someday I can live a happy, fulfilled life free from the need for drugs. I wish the same for you and everyone I have met on this site. Hopefully, my grandchildren will be treated with newer, better opioid drugs that relieve pain without producing psychic and physical dependence. From the sound of it, this new drug buprenorphin delivers on this promise. Hopefully, there are more coming just like it or better.
Imagine that your first love affair is sudden, unexpected, overwhelming in its intensity and utterly transforming. Imagine further that it is with someone dangerous, someone who is aware of their power over you and uses it to dominate you. No matter how destructive it is for you to be with that person, you are drawn back to them again and again. Even when you break it off with them for years at a time, the mere sight of them or sound of their voice brings you right back to that state of blind, passionate, obsessive love. Imagine now that it isn't a person but a little white pill or pink capsule in a prescription bottle. That is the easiest way for me to describe my 27-year relationship with narcotics. Does one ever really get over their first love? Anyway, that best characterizes my relationship with narcotics.
I will not try to give you a year-by-year account of my struggle to recover from drug addiction and find a meaningful life in the land of the living. This thread (above) includes some background on me from the last decade or so. I will tell you that after recovery in 1995, forced upon me by a combination of circumstances, I stayed away from opiates and all but a few joints here and there, for about 3 years. It was the longest 3 years of my life. Then I was confronted once again with lower back complications with left me in too much pain to earn a living without returning to pain killers. Now I struggle to achieve pain relief without falling too far at any one time into the pit of addiction. I maintain a sort of knife-edge equilibrium because I stay away from those opiates that are just "too good" - such as oxycodone, vicodin, demerol, morphine, as well as dis-inhibiting drugs like the benzos (Valium, etc.), speed, and the truly evil, enslaving drug of death, cocaine.
I am able to use darvon 65 (without additives like Tylenol or aspirin) because it has, for me, a certain self-limiting character, in that 3 provides pain relief, 4 gives me just enough of a high to satisfy the addict in me, and more simply makes me sick without imparting any more euphoria or pain relief. I think it works like that for me at least in part because of my 27-year-in-the-making tolerance for opiates. It probably wouldn't work like that for you. In fact, head my words, darvon (propoxyphene) is very dangerous - in some ways even more dangerous than many other opiate drugs. It has been a component in many deaths when mixed with alcohol and other depressants. Please don't take my words as an endorsement. It works for me now, but the story could change for the worse at any time, without any warning.
How much do I take and when? Again, Angie, remember I have a whopping tolerance for narcotics. I could take daily amounts of almost any opiate that would literally kill 3 to 5 people. Please don't make me regret telling you this. But you asked: I take 3 Darvon when I get to work, 3 more with enteric aspirin after lunch, then a dose of 4 when I get home from work, finally a bedtime dose of 4 with enteric aspirin. Again, these dosages would almost certainly kill anyone without my tolerance. Don't even think about trying this. It is a bargain with the devil I can't get out of right now. I have maintained this dosage and schedule for about 3 years.
I identify with you taking your whole bottle of vicodin in one night. If I had a bottle of vics right now, I would do the same thing. In fact, the last time I had a bottle of 40 Percodan (oxy) I did, in fact, take 40 in one evening(!). That was a long time ago and the aspirin alone should have killed me. There's a kind of "candy" quality to vicodin and oxycodone that causes you to just take and take and take. Obviously, for someone like me, it's pointless to get vicodin when I can take something like darvon that I can at least control to some extent.
Anyway, Angie, there's your answer. Kids, don't try this at home. Any medical professional would tell you that I'm lucky to be alive after the decades of opiate use I've endured. In fact, most people who started this kind of use when I did aren't around to tell the tale. I am, in a way, a curious socio-medical artifact of the 70's.
Let me close by telling everyone who reads this that, even though AA has given me a lot of self-knowledge about who I am and why I do what I do, I am not a good advertisement for their program. AA strives for total abstinence because of the peculiar nature of alcoholism and alcoholic relapse. Anyone who has witnessed an alcoholic relapse understands why even one drink can be disastrous if not literally fatal to many people. This puts me somewhat at odds with their program as a whole, but I do the best I can, taking that which works for me now and hoping to practice it more fully and more truly in the future.
Even though I am an imperfect follower, I honor Bill W. and believe wholeheartedly in his teachings. I bless his name every day of my life. As someone not at all interested in religion, AA has been a revelation for me in that it has given me a spiritual life without demanding my blind obedience. My experience with AA has opened my eyes about myself and my fellow man. I believe that one day Bill W. will be spoken of in the same breath as Martin Luther King and Mohandis Ghandi. He already is in my house.
[to Ken who lost his posts, try typing it out in Word first, then copy and paste it into the forum's reply window. You won't lose it that way.]
this morning I'm on my way to a thallium stress test...as I sit here Iam feeling so ashamed, I realize that I could never have this test while on the amount of oxys and perks that I normally would take, but I'm also aware that I could never go in there and take this test while withdrawing,so I have only taken 2oxy's and 3 vicodan just enough so that I can get through it...please wish me luck and keep me in your thoughts...for all of you's that are attempting to get clean, my hats off to you, keep trying
things can only get better for you....my day will come soon, I feel it, I just have so many medical things to contend with first.reading this board has helped me to think about it more and more...thanks...
How do I get the stuff? First let me tell you that I impersonated a doctor over the phone for a period of about 10 years, from the late 70’s to late 80’s. I forged roughly 1 script a day for those ten years. I was caught twice. The cops tell me I was pretty good. But you can’t do that anymore. Try it now and you’ll go directly to jail without collecting the $200.
That was the past, though. Today, it helps to first have a verifiable history of back surgery and continuing degenerative disk disease. It enables my doctor, who is also a long-time personal friend of both me and my wife, to prescribe monthly rations of darvon to both of us. She doesn’t want it or need it, so I use both supplies. This gives me just enough to get by. If I need the occasional vicodin script for breakthrough pain, I get it no questions asked. But, again, if I went off the deep end and started asking for more, my doc would shut me down. He’s progressive thinking and compassionate, but he’s no doc feelgood.
How many people know? Really, just my wife and I. My doctor knows about my past and understands that I have a tolerance to deal with when I address my back pain. But he also has an MRI that, frankly, could be leveraged to get OxyContin. So, in a way, he’s relieved I’m not at his door asking for triplicate narcotics.
Now, let me respond to your post where you say, “It is the truth and it sickens me to read this as I type it.” Please read my posts to Brighty on a vicodin thread below. Read what I say about the toxicity of shame to an addict’s quality of life. It applies to you. You will never understand yourself or your addiction, or attain any sort of life equilibrium as long as you see yourself as an object of shame. Addiction can cause shameful behavior but addiction itself is not in any way shameful. Where the hell did we ever get this idea? I think it comes out of a Puritan ethic that holds that junkies are cheating god by getting euphoria without the requisite suffering. Or, to go further, no one deserves euphoria, much less a bunch of drug addicts. Of course, you and I know just how much suffering junkies, in fact, go through for their little bit of peace. We will never address addiction as long as we criminalize and ostracize addicts. Period.
Angie, pick yourself up off the ground right now. You have done nothing to be ashamed of. Nothing. At the same time, stop feeling sorry for yourself. Engage your brain and start working on a solution. It might be going to AA, it might not. Only you will know what’s right.
But let me add an aside: If you’re going to use rx narcotics, you need to educate yourself about what you’re ingesting or you’ll do yourself in. Use www.rxlist.com to research your drugs. If you had, you’d have realized that Darvocet in those quantities contains a potentially lethal dose of Tylenol. Darvon 65 or Darvon-N 100 (not darvocet) has no Tylenol or aspirin. If you’re going to do it, do it right. Obviously, you’re using your drugs impulsively in an attempt to reach some sort of transformational state of bliss. Joseph Campbell would say you were just “following your bliss.” When I use, I’m not just sitting there waiting to be transformed or transported to somewhere nice. I pursue my other passions while I use, such as writing, reading, music, film, massaging my wife, making love – all the things that give my life meaning. In this way, I can make just a controlled dose work for me because I’m not asking it to do all the work, just some of it.
I’ve enjoyed corresponding and will look for your posts today I get a minute. Good luck.
Anyone out there ever bought narcotics through the mail?
But that's enough from my soap box. To answer your question, Angie, I've been everything from a journalist to a technical writer for the computer industry. It's not as colorful as writing novels but it usually pays a lot better. I've been a source of fascination to many an addiction specialist, as well as one or two superior court judges. Actually, a lot of people in the literary and computer communities use. Probably just as many as in any other walk of life. Besides, I think the impulse to get high comes from one of the more primitive sectors of the human brain, making one's professional background no more than a footnote (pun intended).
I am also thinking of Chad tonight. I wouldn't be too surprised if he converted one of those oxy scripts and doesn't want to tell us. I hope I'm wrong but if I'm not and he reads this, Chad, there is no shame in struggling with this thing of ours. I used to say to myself, "This is the last bottle" every single time I filled a prescription! I'd be sorry to hear it because I guess he had made it through the worst of that horrendous oxy withdrawal and now will have to do it again. When I was doing Vics at a record clip, I'd run out and go into withdrawal every couple of days, until I was almost used to it. But oxy withdrawal sounds like a particular ***** to undergo. Angie, you're smart to cut your life of crime short. These days, they catch you pretty quickly and the penalties seems to increase almost geometrically with every bust.
I'll check back in a few if you or anyone wants to talk. By the way, WHERE ARE THE DOCS? I THINK THE SITE'S BEEN CONVERTED TO SELF-SERVE. BRIAN, ARE YOU OUT THERE, MAN?
www.opioids.com
A rather scholarly treatment of the subject free of sermons and doctrinaire anti-drug blather.
Take care.
I always reacted to disappointments such as yours by binging. I don’t know if it really made anything worse or better. If you get some comfort from the drugs, and you’re not hurting anyone else, why the hell not? As long as you can bounce back after a reasonable time and try, try again. I won’t dispense cheap career advice right now. But I’ll check later and talk some more with you when I can. Give me a day to create an anonymous Hotmail account that I can give you over the forum. Then we can contact each other directly if you want. Take care.
Per your using: I hate lectures unless they come from a college professor. I’m the last guy to tell you what you should do. I might suggest according to my own experience but I’ll never pontificate and absolutely never scold. I say what I think I know per my own life but I never assume that I’m actually right in an absolute context. We can never know if we’re ever absolutely right about anything.
Per your unjust firing: The best present you can give yourself is to realize that most things that happen in this world are unjust and unfair. Somewhere in our youth, we get this idea that all we have to do is to be in the right, and people and things will have to change to accommodate us. I was teaching my son to drive and I told him that, after he’s been creamed by a 5000 pound SUV, whether he was in the right or not, his bones are just as broken and his car is just as demolished. For better or worse, what works is more important than what’s right. --- and what works for you in this situation is for you to just let this incident go and move on. If you carry the anger with you it will just destroy you. Assholes will be assholes. Forget this guy and start focusing on your next move into a better job. I know it’s easier said than done, but addicts will self-destruct from indignation and anger. AA talks at great length about this. It’s one reason they say the “Serenity Prayer.” It has wisdom that works well in many situations, especially in the workplace.Lose it or it will finish you. And, in the same way, don’t mourn for your “lost sobriety.” You’re an addict. It’s what you do. You can never get away from that, only control it so it doesn’t rule your actions and your thoughts.
I’ll post that hotmail address sometime this weekend. I won’t have time til tonight. Take care, Angie.
also, when you get to the forum site, "bookmark" it if you're using Netscape Communicator, or save it as a "favorite" if you're using the Internet Explorer browser. That will take you directly to this site. Don't bookmark it when you're in this thread, though. Back out to the level where all the threads are listed and do it there. It will save time.
I must admit that, after an intense first week at the software developer where I now work, I had to "reward" myself by adding a Soma (a non-benzo muscle relaxant) to my usual dose of Darvon. It's the only thing I take for no other purpose than to feel good. But when it's gone, no big deal. It's one of those drugs I mentioned that don't overtly hook me. I get some every couple of months or so. I'm so conditioned to reward myself with a high after a lot of work, I simply must do it if it's around. Getting Soma is easy if you have a back problem: ask for Valium and then mention you've also used Soma successfully for your back problem and your doctor will usually "bargain it down" to Soma. He's relieved you're not insisting on Valium. That can work, fortunately or unfortunately, with pain pills: ask for the moon and settle for something down the list. Doctors will almost always give you Darvon or Ultram if you start out asking for Vicodin. It's a classic but it still works. I'm not encouraging you to use, but the Soma is an example of diverting your use to something that won't take you over. The docs won't be thrilled with me posting this, but then they're not around, are they? And adddicts will be addicts ...
dearest chad. i have the upmost respect and admiration for you my brother. as we both know and have encountered the road to been free of opiods is a difficult road with many whinding paths to lead us astray. stay strong brother from what i have read in all your letters and replies it seems that gradually each day you are doing better and better and my brother now i think the opiods physically have left your system if i am right tell me! however for the neuro0transmitters to get back to a normal functioning state prior to opiod use it takes time and alot of it brother chad. i am talking like anywhere between 6 months to 2 years yes chad it takes alongtime for the neuro-biology to return to a normal functioning state prior to opiod use but if the research is correct as time gies on the seratonin and noredrenaline levels do tendto improve each day and depression should be a thing of yesterday if that makes sense, what i mean is that day by day the seratonin and noredreanile levels begin to average out again and begin reproducing themselves post opiod use which does block the production in some people of these mood altering chemicals so if you are feeling depressed i reccommend go and see a specialist my brother, there is a wonderful anti-depressant called efexor which is a relatively new one. it works on both the seratonin and the noredrenaline and slightly the dopamine pathways so it touches all three of the most neuro-transmitter pathways brother chad.
donot fear going on an anti-depressant iknow for me the efexor has made the world of difference especially since i retired my opiods which i was using 5-8 years for pain management but became bitterly addicted and the level of oxycontin went from 20mg's to 160mg's just to sustanin myself brother so i know exactly where your coming from and where your going and how you might be feeling with the whole detoxification process.
please drop me a reply my brother as i mentioned earlier you seem to be a very knowledgable person with alot of fight and spirit and heart and i have the utmost respect and admiration foryou and yes let us educate others my friend as if we can help or educate even one soul than this is fantastic.
love always andrew elchemarcos best wishes and hugs to you brother...
dearest chad. i have the upmost respect and admiration for you my brother. as we both know and have encountered the road to been free of opiods is a difficult road with many whinding paths to lead us astray. stay strong brother from what i have read in all your letters and replies it seems that gradually each day you are doing better and better and my brother now i think the opiods physically have left your system if i am right tell me! however for the neuro0transmitters to get back to a normal functioning state prior to opiod use it takes time and alot of it brother chad. i am talking like anywhere between 6 months to 2 years yes chad it takes alongtime for the neuro-biology to return to a normal functioning state prior to opiod use but if the research is correct as time gies on the seratonin and noredrenaline levels do tendto improve each day and depression should be a thing of yesterday if that makes sense, what i mean is that day by day the seratonin and noredreanile levels begin to average out again and begin reproducing themselves post opiod use which does block the production in some people of these mood altering chemicals so if you are feeling depressed i reccommend go and see a specialist my brother, there is a wonderful anti-depressant called efexor which is a relatively new one. it works on both the seratonin and the noredrenaline and slightly the dopamine pathways so it touches all three of the most neuro-transmitter pathways brother chad.
donot fear going on an anti-depressant iknow for me the efexor has made the world of difference especially since i retired my opiods which i was using 5-8 years for pain management but became bitterly addicted and the level of oxycontin went from 20mg's to 160mg's just to sustanin myself brother so i know exactly where your coming from and where your going and how you might be feeling with the whole detoxification process.
please drop me a reply my brother as i mentioned earlier you seem to be a very knowledgable person with alot of fight and spirit and heart and i have the utmost respect and admiration foryou and yes let us educate others my friend as if we can help or educate even one soul than this is fantastic.
love always andrew elchemarcos best wishes and hugs to you brother...
hey there J.B. how are you feeling at these moments? well listen to me brother i can give you lots of support in regards to the efexor seeing as i have been on it now for 18 months. i am currently at a dose of 300 milligrams 15 twice a day and have been as high as 375 milligrams.
firstly j.b i know where your at, at this moment in time, you just want some relief now and want that horrible depression to go away now. my brother it will trust me, i have been diagnosed as suferring from clinical endogenous depression also brought on through genetics thanks to my family hahaha.
before efexor i was on every anti-depresant nearly available, zoloft moclobemide cipramil amitryptyline etc etc... it was not until i went to a good therapist that i came of all these second rate anti-depressants for me and she started me on the efexor.
i can tell you honestly i felt an immediated relief within 3weeks and its full full effects around about 7 to 8 weeks after beginning the efexor. i was started on 75milligrams and was raised gradually to 375 milligrams over the seven week period.
trust me J.B have patient really really give the efexor a go and see somebody as well my brother like a counsilor as half of it is pills the other half talking about the underlying issues. see what i have finally learnt is that my efexor can deal with the chemical imbalances in my neurchemistry however it can not fix a situational problem like a shitty relationship job or whatever your issues are, so please speak to somebody anybody trust me deal with all that underlying **** brother and the efexor well it will do its part to bring the rainbow back into your life trust me.
a little bit now about the efexor. efexor works on two main pathways unlike most anti-depressants which most only work on seatonin or noredrenaline, however the efexor works on both equally and this is why i believe it is better for us types who have not responded to other medications of the anti-depressant groups, as well the efexor lightly touches the dopamine pathway which is a bonus as this is to do with energy and other things another mood neurotransmitter my brother.
i have found at first i felt a little tired with the efexor but when it really kicked in my energy increased as efexor is an adrenalin it is also a stimulant anti-depressant or as my therapist has told me it should after it kicks in properly work as more a stimulant anti-depressant than most others thus you should not feel tired once it truly kicks in okay just be patient pray and have faith in it.
i remember when i started on it i really put my faith in it and prayed it would give me relief from my pain my deep deep suferring and depression and suicidal feelings i was having and J.B it did this.
now i am very stable completely non depressed and am still on 300 milligrams of the efexor which i can honestly say has been the impetus from my recovery from my deep depression.
so my brother hang in there have faith and i wish to you all the best of spirit and really hope that the efexor makes the difference for you like it has for me.
also J.B if you have any comments or any questions please please reply to me okay even if you just want to chat about your feelings of depression drop us a line brother okay.
love andrew be well and hang in there J.B.
Will keep you posted. J.B.
good i am glad you will keep me posted J.B. seeing as i am the only otherperson you know on the efexor then maybe as it starts tokick in or you have concerns feel free to ask away brother as i did experience many side affects, nothing major and nothing thatlasted more than a week at the most. so really keep me posten okay i also like you have been on the zoloft however that took me to high and came of it. the efexor is the best medication i have ever been on and i can honestly say to you j.b that had inot been put on the efexor then i doubt very much whether i would be here today writing you this email.
however i am glad i am here and livng a functioning life like others. hang in there brother as each day rises that venlafaxine is kicking in even more and before you know it you will have an enormous relief when your horrible depression subsides and remember even when yourfeeling good dont come of it okay trust me i tried that sometimes we need to be on it for some time for it to change how our bio-chemistry functions okay.
why were you on the ativan? do you experience anxiety? as i am currently taking 2milligrams of the ativan every night and it helps me heaps to have no anxiety and to sleep. well let me know brother?
all the best to you and yes i would believe that efexor has saved marriages i have complete faith for once in a drug and this is the one, efexor has changed me forever j.b and for the best.
kind regards andrew....
to my dear friend j.b. my dear friend you will be able to conquer the ugly face ofdepression my freidn i believe this to be the case. be strong withinyourspirit and remember if you feel low do not try and fight this feeling rather become a prisoner for a while to these feelings as the harder youtry to fight that **** painful feeling and i am speaking from experience heremy friend, the stronger it gets within, i chose finally after trying to fight it to just let it run its course to succumb and to embrace it, then over time the efexor kicked in and won the battle over my depression.
i am sure you will experience the same victory, and i know brother that right now is probably the most difficult timefor you just waiting for it to do its job but be strong foryou your wife and your family and trust me it will kick in, remember it is still early days at the moment.
love forever andrew.
p.s i have faith and hope for you J.B.
I am a college student
I have read this whole damn list of replies.
This has made me stop and look at the big picture
I hope that you decide to reply
whatever the circumstances are..
you have inspired me to stop taking these damn OC's
for a little while.... at least.
I don't want to have to take an
OC to clean my damn apartment or go to class.
Remember at the beginning when you wanted replies?
I want your reply
I have been inspired by your story,
please feel that you can come back and share
wantever has happened, even being relapse.
It is best to be open about things to
start to help the problem, just know
that you have inspired me to take a
look at the big picture and my problem
with the OC's. I did not know you guys were out there.
thank you
Please let us hear from you
jade
You have no idea how your story affected me! My husband's sis is on disability for being obese and she has a steady supply of pain killers. Norco, vicatin, whatever we wanted. A week ago she kicked down a bunch of oxycotin and wow, they are a blast! But I began to feel uneasy at how often we (my husband and I) were taking the stuff. For pleasure only. So I got on the net and I found this site. What a wake up call! I was chilled to the bone at all the stories of all these people trying to get clean from this ****. And my husband and I are well on our way to major addiction. I know it. Right after I get done replying to you, I am dumping the bottle in the toilet and I am going to have a long talk with my husband. I am going to show him this site. I am thinking of you and will be praying for you, my friend. I believe that nothing happens by chance and that I found this site and learned what I did just reaffirms that in my mind. Life is precious, Chad, even if it may not seem like it right now. And know that your story had a huge impact on my life and I will never take pain-killers for pleasure again. Thank you for being so honest and courageous. Be strong. I will visit again to see how things are going.
Why do people take drugs, drink alcohol? Simply, they are unhappy with themselves. Either they think they are a better person when they are in slightly altered state of mind or they dont want to think too much because if they think too much they will think about their faults (and humans aren't supposed to have faults or make mistkes!!!For some reason that is floating in the back of most people's mind).All humans want to get high.Some do it by becoming a boss and get the high from bossing around employees some do extreme sports to get a high. I think there are good highs and bad highs.Good highs - climbing a high mountain, getting high passes in exams, helping someone else for no reason at all except that they needed help, painting a picture, doing something you have always dreamed of doing, the list is endless but you get my point.Bad highs - drugs(derr!), alcohol,fighting,hurting someone else,destroying something for no reason, again the list is endless. Do you see the diff. between good and bad highs? Good highs - anything you do that helps better you or someone else even in the smallest way. Bad highs - something you do that makes you feel good at the time and **** after. Anyone like to add anything? You may think I don't know anything and you may be right but take what you want, what feels comfortable for you, from what i've written thats all i ask. I was fired from the chemist because i was getting too emotionally involved with the meth and phychiatric patients. I just wanted to help them but i started to emotionally suffer and increased my dope intake and zoloft dose.Just like you guys i just want to be happy and excited about life and i am willing to try anything. So, i found this web site that i believe will be beneficial to me and possibly to all of you.I dont know the exact location but if you search in Yahoo for "Get off drugs Naturally". I say "possibly" because everyone has their own path to happiness. It sounds great. I think you like go away for a few days and you have a counsellor with you all the time and you do things like rock climbing, white water rafting, relaxation techniques and they detox you with spa baths, sauna and food that will replace the vitamins and minerals that you will be losing due to it having to work extra hard. I dont know how much it costs, but it is all over the world. Please remember Everyone has faults, everyone makes mistakes.That is not important.What is important is that 1. recognising your faults (but not beating your self up over them). 2. Do something everyday (and it doesnt matter how small) that can help change your faults or help prevent you making the same mistakes. You are your best friend and if you are not starting going about making your self your bestfriend because its the only person you can never get away from.Always remember the good things about yourself and congratulate yourself on it. Dont let other people tell what will make you happy unless you agree. Lastly, be honest with your self but also be kind you deserve it. I will be as excited as anyone else on this site if i get a response. That will be my good high. xxxxxxx
I,ve been through this enough, I,m in out patient
now. You need to read and learn, every time you cave to the urge
the addiction gets stronger, so you have to get stronger too.
Suck it up and start living. I know its easier said then done,
but think of how strong you'll be. Patience, please.
Just know, dont mess around anymore.
P.S. I have to practice this as well.
Sara
Any input would be great. thanks
techie
I am a heroin addict who has been trying to stay clean for 16 years now. I am a member of NA. Trust me guys and gals, this program is no religious in any way. All it asks is to find a power greater tan yourselves. I have been relapsing for 3 years now, first with the norco and then percocet. When those would work anymore, I started using heroin again, I am 46 years old and the kick this time was unbearable!!! I will continue to go to my meetings and if i fail again, I will start over. Shiat, its like I crave the drugs ssoooooooooo bad!!!! I want to be clen in recovery, but lost my way. I neeed to talk to someone. JB have written me and anyone else PLEASE write me too, I feel like dying right now. Walls are closing in and I cant breathe. Love you all as addicts in pain
Love
***@****
but listen - you posted this at the end of a very old thread. i'd like to suggest you make a new post and repost this question/post.
i don't think alot of people are on tonight, so if you don't get some feedback, PLEASE post again in the a.m... there's alot of people here who can help. i know it got alot of us through just being here...
personally, if it's only, again, been two weeks - i'd go c/t. but that's just me. i don't know a good taper sked or i would give you feedback on that, but many on here do.
again - please repost this to a new thread so everyone sees it. there'll be alot more folks on in the a.m... many of who will help ya all ya need...
so hold on tight darlin... we'll help ya get through!
talk to ya in the a.m. I hope...
be well...
mj
if you go to The Addiction Forum (click on it above) it takes you to the main (current) page of posting.
I believe it says "Post A Question." That creates a new thread. Then repost your earlier post.
and yes, after 3 or 4 days you should feel better, but as you know, after the initial he** there's some residual stuff (sleeplessness, some anxiety/depression, etc.) but about a zillion times better, every day, than being on these f***ing pills.
don't panic honey... we'll help ya through. just get through the night tonight, breathe, and i or someone will walk ya through in the a.m.... :-)
and if you want to post to me directly anytime, please feel free. i wasn't on oxy's but i loved me my norco's....
ok buddy, i'm logging off now. but remember what i said.. breath. sleep tonight. and tomorrow you can start the fight! which you'll win.... Anything, ANYTHING, is possible if you want it bad enough.
take care buddy,
mj
ps - breath. :)
NOT DOSE I honestly believe it will work for you. You also have the support
TAPERING and common interest of your Girlfriend. Please Read this Post.
I want to share a method that was used by a doctor to wean me off of Demerol (meperidine) after three months of use which culminated in 14 days of having it injected Intravenously 75 mg every 3 hours. The chances of NOT being addicted to that drug after that type of chemical barrage are slim. It was legitimate and controlled by a doctor and a neurologist, both of whom were treating Migraine headaches that bordered on Status Migrainousis (constant Migraine) and simply debilitated me and made me wish for a coma. I ended up sitting in a hospital bed for the sole purpose of stopping this chemical from causing seizures and withdrawal. I was only there for four days at which point I was okay not taking the Demerol anymore. It was not fun. But, it had to be done and I thank the doctors for taking the responsibility to see me through that nightmare.
Being addicted to these drugs is NOT a CHOICE! DO NOT FEEL BAD! It happens to so many people. And without people to stand up and say, "hey, there's nothing to be ashamed of, it's no reflection on YOU as a person and it has everything to do with chemistry and our bodies... it could happen to anyone." Be ashamed, as it does reflect on you, if you choose NOT to fight. NO one should go into withdrawal without a plan. And if possible, no one should do it alone- in steps your girlfriend!
I believe the wrong Taper is being endorsed by everyone on this site. I hear about tapering the dose on a (regular) dose-STRENGTH oriented schedule. When in fact your body is CONSTANTLY (on a time-clock) eliminating this product from your system. IF you have been taking this medicine (which ever Narcotic you may be addicted to) it is built up in your system and slowly, painfully leaves. So, instead of trying to cut back on the strength of doses... PUSH your doses out as far as you can comfortably. If you normally take it every 4 hours. For a few days, take your dose twice a day, every twelve hours. The lapse in timing may be a bit uncomfortable but the end result if MORE of the drug and all of its metabolites and by-products LEAVING in between doses. And, if you stick to the "spacing taper" you will eliminate the narcotic while still controlling some of the withdrawal symptoms- AND without having that "powerless" feeling of running out of the medicine and waiting through the detox period. After a few more days, only take the dose to aid you to sleep. If you can keep spacing and spacing and spacing, the dose you DO take will NOT contribute significantly to the level of the drug in your system. When you finally, after a week of spacing it all out, decide to STOP taking the drug there will be so little of it in your system that you should be minimally uncomfortable for a short period of time.
IF YOU HAVE A SPOUSE OR LOVED ONE... have them regulate your "spacing taper" and surrender your medicine to them. Keep active, take your vitamins and drink lots of fluids the whole time. Smile as well and find things to laugh about- it will release natural feel good chemicals.
And please don't EVER feel helpless. You are a more powerful creature (as a human being) than you could ever imagine. Your body and mind WANT/NEED to survive. That you posted on this forum makes you strong... it's an admirable thing to admit weakness and ask for help.
Be well, be strong and brave this thing out; you'll make it.
have you heard that the drugs are only symptoms of our problems!!!
its all about changing ourselves. if you do not want to go to NA or AA go to a book store and get some books on after the drugs are gone.
depression is a b itch! i am 42 an dgn with a serious cancer. so my life may really be over.
At 28 i won a few medals for gymnastics. my life, was great, meet and married have three wonderful kids and i would give it all up[EXCEPT MY KIDS] first child at 29] to be 28 again and drug free!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
without one f "in medal!!!!!!!!!!!feel blessed you still have your youth and a wonderful girlfriend.
you still have your health. please seek some help to talk to others GOD BLESS
no-one knows what lies ahead you are so young! i am 42 with all kinds of problems because of my gymnastic background. i am addicted to pain pills. can not seem to function without them.
could not go into a crowd of kids to speak inless i had a few. talk about hipocrate! don't do drugs and here i am popping pills!
thank god you have a girl friend to go thru this with. you will make it. the depression and craving do subsiide. i wish you get help how come so against NA? there are meeting which are fab.
i lived in NJ and i know there can be some unusual meetings find one that works for you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!