Pain killer addiction

[iwuvjosh]

I am new to this group. I am searching for a way to get help with my addiction that I don't have to let my entire family know about. I have totally let this overcome my life and take control. I take 4 tens at a time (just once a day) but in my head I know this isnt ok. I know that I am addicted to the pain pills. BUt I am also addicted to the routine. My husband has came to me on several different occasions and tried getting me to turn my cheek to you what I do. He doesn't understand that it isn't as easy as he thinks it is. I am goin to be honest when I say I do not want to quit. I love the feeling I get when I am "high" and all that comes along with  it. It is to the point now that everything I do...I do better when I'm high. I just don't see an end in sight. I do not want to hurt the ones I love and who love me. I am a mother and a wife. A daughter a sister.

[tomskat]

Hi there and welcome. It's true...you will not be successful at quitting for good unless you really want to deep down. But, you did come here for a reason....what is your reason? We are here to support you. We all have been where you are at. The thing is,you will NEVER get as high as you were the 1st time and will continue to "chase" that high with a greater amount of drugs until you finally overdose,God forbid. So think about why you would want to stop-your health,$$ reasons,relationships,etc.That list will far outweigh the other list. You may think you function better but I bet if you record yourself high vs straight you will find out that you really don't do better high. I used to think the same thing. Then people started talking-the physical affects of drugs are all too obvious.Now is the time to do it my friend. Here if you need anything...A

[133113]

Tattoo is right.  Many of us have started the same way and I have personally said the exact same thing many many times.  I am now on Day 6 of many many relapses over the past few years.

You came here for a reason, you obviously have some idea that the addiction is slowly starting to sink its fangs in.  Eventually the high will go away, it always does and you will continue to increase your dosage to chase that high.  

I hope and pray this time that by the grace of God I will never use again and it will stick this time for me.  This is the first time, I do not want to be high, I want to enjoy life for what it is, without waiting for my next dose or worrying about running out early.

When you are ready, we will be here to support you.  

[Tattoo67]

My head was in the same place for over 2 years.  I knew I should quit, had to quit but did not want too.  It took another year for me to hit my bottom and give in.  I only have 11 days clean but I really want this now.  The scarry part is I to started on a routine like you just a few pills a night now and then, ended up taking 15 to 20 a day all day, everyday for 2 years.  Mixing with other drugs and drinking I almost killed myself more than once.  11 days ago I realized I was not father, husban, son or man I want to be and I quit cold turkey.  It was rough but it is something I had to do to save my family, job, and most importantly my life.  I am still not 100% but I know I am much better off than I was 11 days ago.  I hope you reach your bottom before it gets worse.  God Speed.

Tattoo  

[usedtobefunny]

Hello, I am not sure why no one posted on your thread.

It is probably because you flat out said you do not want to quit. I am positive that once you decide you want to quit you will get tons of support from people here. Unfortunately, there is nothing we can say or do to help you quit if you do not want to quit.