Aa
Pain meds vs Alcohol
Hello everyone,
I am prescribed 90 40mg oxys and 270 5mg roxicodones a month for
neuropathy. IT's been this way for a year. I've just about had
enough of these meds as I know they are killing me. I used to
drink alot of beer every day but since I've been on the meds I
have not drank as much as an ounce of beer. If I quit the meds
(I've got all the stuff from Thomas's recipe) I know I'll go
back to drinking. I'am torn up on which way to go. I quit smoking
14 months ago cold turkey so I do believe I can quit the meds,
although it will be tough with this habbit and the length I've
been on the meds. Does anyone have an idea which way I should go?
Also I too have been banned from the other web site. I did'nt do
anything wrong.
Thanks Tom
I am prescribed 90 40mg oxys and 270 5mg roxicodones a month for
neuropathy. IT's been this way for a year. I've just about had
enough of these meds as I know they are killing me. I used to
drink alot of beer every day but since I've been on the meds I
have not drank as much as an ounce of beer. If I quit the meds
(I've got all the stuff from Thomas's recipe) I know I'll go
back to drinking. I'am torn up on which way to go. I quit smoking
14 months ago cold turkey so I do believe I can quit the meds,
although it will be tough with this habbit and the length I've
been on the meds. Does anyone have an idea which way I should go?
Also I too have been banned from the other web site. I did'nt do
anything wrong.
Thanks Tom
Hi Chancycook,
You will find that you a very welcome here. I too am new
and everyone has been great to me. Just keep posting you will
meet some great people here.
Tom
You will find that you a very welcome here. I too am new
and everyone has been great to me. Just keep posting you will
meet some great people here.
Tom
Hi everyone! This is my first time to find a site like this. It is so nice to know that I am not alone in my addiction. My problem now is alcohol. I have found it to be the hardest drug to overcome. Years ago I was addicted to cocaine, but quitting that was nothing compared to me quitting alcohol.I guess maybe I have inherited genes that make me lean towards alcohol more than any other drug.I was going to try and quit cold turkey, but then read about DT's and possible seizures which scare me. I keep telling myself that I will do it slowly yet my husband will always buy more beer than I ask for and of course I drink all that is in the house. I am determined to quit yet scared of the process. I am worried right now that I won't be able to go to sleep since I didn't buy anymore than two beers. Anyway, I would love to be a part of this group. I have been hiding my problem from many people for a long time.Thanks
you hang in there... i want to talk to you but i have a sick child right now... you were heard... please don't give up on this board.... i will be back....
love..... stars
love..... stars
Good luck I wish I could go your route, I feel for me to get over my addiction that I need the kids gone and my man. ( he isn't a supportive type) I am only taking 5 vicoding 500mg a day, but I am tired of it and want my old life back. I can take more at times (usually the weekend maybe 6) But I want to quit and the withdrawls is what I don't look forward to. It is hard for me to go to work and take care of the house. I am like you are about the house, I let the house totally go (that isn't me) I really don't have anyone I am comfortable talking to about it. I have been doing allot of research since Friday night and some of the stories are going to help me get over this. What is the Recipe everyone is talking about
YOU CAN DO IT, I KNOW YOU CAN, JUST THINK IF YOU GO BACK THEN YOU WILL HAVE TO THIS DAY AGAIN!!!!!!!!!
YOU CAN DO IT, I KNOW YOU CAN, JUST THINK IF YOU GO BACK THEN YOU WILL HAVE TO THIS DAY AGAIN!!!!!!!!!
thank you stars sooo much for your support, and kind words....i won't say i will bear all the guilt....but as close as he and i are....i should have known he was on something....at any rate i think he is doing ok and making the right decisions...he knows who his "unclean" (for lack of better words)friends are....and his "clean" friends. he has made the responsible decision to stay away from the ones that bring him down....i am also in the process of moving us out of the small town we live in....the younger one will also be fine....he has a year to go in highschool though and for the first time, looks forward to his senior year...i just wish they would learn to like eachother again....
you ALL are sooo strong...one day if i ever need the strength for ANYTHING i will always come here....and read and remember how every day is a struggle for alot of you....take care all, and never give up your fights....you are all....stronger and braver then anyone i have ever known of....my prayers and thoughts will always be with eachone of you....thanks again stars....addictsmom
you ALL are sooo strong...one day if i ever need the strength for ANYTHING i will always come here....and read and remember how every day is a struggle for alot of you....take care all, and never give up your fights....you are all....stronger and braver then anyone i have ever known of....my prayers and thoughts will always be with eachone of you....thanks again stars....addictsmom
welcome!!!! you surely are in the right place. a place where we all come together to help... first and foremost addictsmom, whatever you do, don't blame YOURSELF!! i did that with my oldest and it nearly distroyed me. your boys have minds of their own and they are the ones who made the wrong choices. if you were there when they smoked the meth, then you can blame yourself, but i'm sure you weren't... my son went through the same thing at the same age.. it did not last long. it is a strong drug, but it also has strong ill effects which one gets tierd of... i found that with my son and his friends.. they all still smoke pot, but i myself dont have a big problem with that... i just dont want it in my house due to my other children. some people get caught up in meth, but you need to pray that they see the reality of the drug.. you know, you must be a wonderful mom in order to have your child have enough faith and trust in you to come to you and tell you that he has a serious problem.. i applaud him, and you, for doing all the right things. please tell him that i am praying for him and his recovery. the younger one also. its so hard being a teenager now.. i have 3 and i thank God everyday that they are focused. but i know things can change in a heartbeat! i pray for peace for you and your family... you also have a family here, who will be happy to help carry your burden...
peace, prayers and blessings
stars.....
peace, prayers and blessings
stars.....
your post was far from meaningless... painful but true.. i dont think ANYONE on here can say anything meaningless... its our refuge where we dont have to hide.. your message was a perfect example of that J.B.! i am so happy you made the right decision with your wifes medication. i feel that each time one of us turns away from taking that little pill, or that drink, or that cigarette, that injection, one person who struggles to be clean gets one step closer.... thank you J.B.!
prayers and peace.... stars
prayers and peace.... stars
I enjoyed scanning through some of the posts here tonight. It seems like sex(libido)came up a few times. Actually, the sex drive is a dead giveaway as to how you are doing both physically and mentally. When it's gone down the tubes, beware! In my opinion, antidepressants can wreck havoc with libido and opiates simply step in and replace it.
When we regain that feeling that we "want to look attractive" and somewhat outgoing...it's wonderful! During my bouts with narcotic and alcohol addiction, I didn't care enough about myself to even be someone that you'ld want to talk to. Bad hair, bad breath, bad clothes, bad attitude and so on. I was the anonymus drunk/junkie with no time for real life, being totally into myself. Sadly, nobody even knew my name!
So, you eventually end up with yourself, by yourself and you loathe yourself. Pistol and ball would likely be more than merciful at this point, but most choose the prolonged suicide attempt of addiction. This post is meaningless to most of you but I had to get it out of my system and hear myself speak to myself. Just minutes ago, I had several more tabs of morphine in my hand and put them back in the bottle...they are meant for my wife's pain, not mine!
J.B.
When we regain that feeling that we "want to look attractive" and somewhat outgoing...it's wonderful! During my bouts with narcotic and alcohol addiction, I didn't care enough about myself to even be someone that you'ld want to talk to. Bad hair, bad breath, bad clothes, bad attitude and so on. I was the anonymus drunk/junkie with no time for real life, being totally into myself. Sadly, nobody even knew my name!
So, you eventually end up with yourself, by yourself and you loathe yourself. Pistol and ball would likely be more than merciful at this point, but most choose the prolonged suicide attempt of addiction. This post is meaningless to most of you but I had to get it out of my system and hear myself speak to myself. Just minutes ago, I had several more tabs of morphine in my hand and put them back in the bottle...they are meant for my wife's pain, not mine!
J.B.
I totally hear you regarding your self neglect. My 20 year old heroin addicted son looks like ****. It is heartbreaking to see but I have let so much go. He is living in someone's basement. When he comes here, he eats a little and sleeps then goes back for more. He could clean up but he doesn't even change his underwear. This is a total change for him. I love him and have offered treatment but I don't think he believes he can stay clean so won't bother. He detoxed in the hospital last month when he had endocarditis but went back to the streets. He knows we love him and the door is open but we can't make him change. What is it going to take to get him into treatment? We are all dying a slow death. I do go to alanon but there's no magic bullet. How did you get clean? Gina
hi all, i have come into this forum and listened for a couple of months now, you people are the greatest inspiration ANYBODY could have. i luckily am not an addict of any kind....i quit smoking cigs a couple of months ago and have not had a smoke or drag off one since 01-10-02....im very proud it sucked and was very hard....however reading your posts every day helped me tremendously...my son is 19 and i just found out about a month ago that he was smoking crystal meth on a daily basis....he came to me and admitted he needed help....we put him in an out patient detox for 7 days....as far as i know he hasn't done any drugs since except for smoking weed.....he has no reason to lie to me now that he has come clean with the truth so i believe him....maybe im a little naive...i hope not...what my real problem is...is that he also got my 17yr old to do it too....he knows that i know also...but he swears he doens't have a problem...however...since my oldest came home from detox...the younger one says his brother died the day he came home...he says the older one is possessed by satan....is this all in his messed up mind because he was doing the meth too??...the older one says it is....but im lost...im 38 and have never dealt with these types of drugs before....please help and give me some insight...these two hate eachother right now...my youngest is clean now and staying with an older friend that he is close to, who would never allow him to have drugs around him...thanks all for your help...i know you have troubles of your own and i thank you for taking time to listen to mine....you all are the best...thanks..
addictsmom
addictsmom
radioboy.... are you in the radio business? everytime i see your name i think of the days when i was in the early to mid 70's.. the perks and drugs were great! sometimes i wonder how i survived that! guess it all helped me become who i am today...
i am surprised the trazadone isn't helping you... that was the only was i could get any sleep.. some nights i took alittle higher dose just to pull me through. maybe you need a higher mg.? is that something you can get? check with your doctor. nothing else worked for me. i had a few xanax left and they helped also... trying strecthing also before you go to bed. as hard as it was i laid on the floor and strecthed out like crazy.. it seem to make my getting into bed more comfortable.. i wish you luck and peace... hang in there!
love and prayers..... stars
p.s. one more thing... soak in a hot bath with epsom salts... that was also a great help....
i am surprised the trazadone isn't helping you... that was the only was i could get any sleep.. some nights i took alittle higher dose just to pull me through. maybe you need a higher mg.? is that something you can get? check with your doctor. nothing else worked for me. i had a few xanax left and they helped also... trying strecthing also before you go to bed. as hard as it was i laid on the floor and strecthed out like crazy.. it seem to make my getting into bed more comfortable.. i wish you luck and peace... hang in there!
love and prayers..... stars
p.s. one more thing... soak in a hot bath with epsom salts... that was also a great help....
hinkster!!!! walk dude!!! move your feet around.. i'm tellin ya these feelings are temporary!!!! being addicted may not!! again as i have said before, our withdrawls are a small price to pay!!! i want you to be strong!!! i lift you in prayer Tom! please be stronger than your medication, because WE ALL have the power to overcome... i found it easier incorporating God into my struggle... pull from what ever stronger power you can... hang in there, please!!!! wish i could take your pain away!!! i am with you in thought and prayer... love and peace... stars
To All,
Now that I have a bit more time to expand on what J.B. said.
He's right. I need a spring board. This peripheral neuropathy
is killing me. My feet feel like their going to explode. This
is one bad ass diease. I've tried everything. Neurontin,topamax,
tegatol,something that starts with a z and even a killer hot
pepper cream called Capzasin.HP. Stay away from that one. The
only thing that seems to work is the pain meds. But I know this can not go on forever. Thats where you people come in. Support,
Support,Support. I need your support. I don't know what to do I
can't live like this too much longer. Thanks for listening to
my complaints. I'll be away for a few days so I'll check back
later. Thanks again.
Tom
Now that I have a bit more time to expand on what J.B. said.
He's right. I need a spring board. This peripheral neuropathy
is killing me. My feet feel like their going to explode. This
is one bad ass diease. I've tried everything. Neurontin,topamax,
tegatol,something that starts with a z and even a killer hot
pepper cream called Capzasin.HP. Stay away from that one. The
only thing that seems to work is the pain meds. But I know this can not go on forever. Thats where you people come in. Support,
Support,Support. I need your support. I don't know what to do I
can't live like this too much longer. Thanks for listening to
my complaints. I'll be away for a few days so I'll check back
later. Thanks again.
Tom
J.B.
That was perfect, Thanks. I'll try to hang in there. My
PN could have been caused by the Alchol. I was told that.
Tom
That was perfect, Thanks. I'll try to hang in there. My
PN could have been caused by the Alchol. I was told that.
Tom
unisom and valerian root. they're both over the counter. I use them every night. slight sleep hang over, but at least I fall asleep for for a coupla hours. I've never been a good sleeper and too scared to go to the doc. for fear I'll get a beating or arrested :)
Hi all...
You wonderful people mentioned above, have NO IDEA what your responses to my earlier post meant to me! I'm crying all over my keyboard, but this time w/happy tears that in such a short time, I feel as if I've made new friends/family that only the few of us can relate too. Thus, we share a most excellent bond.
I will contact each of you that left your email address. Mine is ***@****
I took a Klonopin after speaking to my daughter about 4:30. It knocked me out till 8 tonight. That's great for the jitters and such during the day, but now...I bet I'll be up w/my 4 cats till the sun rises again tonight. Lucky me!
If the cold sweats would just go away, I actually might feel somewhat human. I have absolutely no desire to do anything but watch daytime TV. What a waste! But I know it's for a great cause. At least I have cable. lol.
"J.B"...I'll take the longest shower of my life tomorrow, put on bright light comfy clothes, curl my hair, put on purfume and listen to all kinds of music...very loud to pass the time. Maybe I'll do the laundry. I think lying around is adding to the pain and such by virtue of total boredom. Thanks for the advice!
This is shear torture. I wouldn't wish this on my worst enemy. It's your stories of hope like "bronzeback" off for 20 days that are keeping me going. I wish we could all meet one day and share our experiences as sober productive people.
"Stars"...thank you for reminding me that I'm a good mom. That's my most sensitive area w/all of this. I pray my beautiful daughter never "uses" just cause mom did.
Tomorrow (Thurs) will be the beginning of day 4 off the lortab, and beginning of day 3 for the oxy. I pray, it will soooo much easier than the last few days. I'll keep you all in prays as well. Please keep in touch w/me. I came VERY close to taking my oxys this afternoon. Thank God for you, my daughter and the fact I fell asleep today. Write anytime!
Hugs and prays...:)
Dawnslight
You wonderful people mentioned above, have NO IDEA what your responses to my earlier post meant to me! I'm crying all over my keyboard, but this time w/happy tears that in such a short time, I feel as if I've made new friends/family that only the few of us can relate too. Thus, we share a most excellent bond.
I will contact each of you that left your email address. Mine is ***@****
I took a Klonopin after speaking to my daughter about 4:30. It knocked me out till 8 tonight. That's great for the jitters and such during the day, but now...I bet I'll be up w/my 4 cats till the sun rises again tonight. Lucky me!
If the cold sweats would just go away, I actually might feel somewhat human. I have absolutely no desire to do anything but watch daytime TV. What a waste! But I know it's for a great cause. At least I have cable. lol.
"J.B"...I'll take the longest shower of my life tomorrow, put on bright light comfy clothes, curl my hair, put on purfume and listen to all kinds of music...very loud to pass the time. Maybe I'll do the laundry. I think lying around is adding to the pain and such by virtue of total boredom. Thanks for the advice!
This is shear torture. I wouldn't wish this on my worst enemy. It's your stories of hope like "bronzeback" off for 20 days that are keeping me going. I wish we could all meet one day and share our experiences as sober productive people.
"Stars"...thank you for reminding me that I'm a good mom. That's my most sensitive area w/all of this. I pray my beautiful daughter never "uses" just cause mom did.
Tomorrow (Thurs) will be the beginning of day 4 off the lortab, and beginning of day 3 for the oxy. I pray, it will soooo much easier than the last few days. I'll keep you all in prays as well. Please keep in touch w/me. I came VERY close to taking my oxys this afternoon. Thank God for you, my daughter and the fact I fell asleep today. Write anytime!
Hugs and prays...:)
Dawnslight
Can anyone suggest something for sleep besides Ambien and trazadone? I have been up for 3 days now and can't get any sleep.
ketta, i have been your posts for sometime now. how many times have you also touched my soul? many! forgive all of you if i dont mention you individually... kip, i include you towards my recovery.. this forum is honest and raw... what can be better? we admit our failures and our strenghts, they go hand in hand. not ONE OF US comes across as being better than the other, we just grasp at other peoples strenght and hopes.. we are all one in a union of despair who wants desperatly to be free from what weighs us down... for those of us who let go and continue to struggle, but yet are learning to fly, we come back to the place that helped us spread our wings... its kinda crazy that i have zero cravings, but yet i crave this forum and people in it.. ketta, you talk about "having balls".... it was harder to admit to myself that i was messed up... but i thank you for mentioning "balls" while my hormones are outta control... wonder if i'll get addicted to sex now? lol! thank you dear one for your time and kindness of words...
dawnslight.... just don't stop, and try not to look back right now... go full speed ahead.... i can tell you this much... being the "young" mother of four beautiful children, i share your passion in our gift of being mothers... but you know what? when the hard part is over.... your gonna wake one day and you'll be blown away at every aspect of your daughter and her beauty because we have been clouded for so long... i promise you, you will see her in a different light... i am struggling sending them to school everyday because i feel like i have missed so much of them the last few years... keep it up dawnslight.... feel free to contact me personally anytime at ***@****.... my address is open to anyone...
remember..... don't look back and embrace each minute..
love, peace and blessings..... stars.....
dawnslight.... just don't stop, and try not to look back right now... go full speed ahead.... i can tell you this much... being the "young" mother of four beautiful children, i share your passion in our gift of being mothers... but you know what? when the hard part is over.... your gonna wake one day and you'll be blown away at every aspect of your daughter and her beauty because we have been clouded for so long... i promise you, you will see her in a different light... i am struggling sending them to school everyday because i feel like i have missed so much of them the last few years... keep it up dawnslight.... feel free to contact me personally anytime at ***@****.... my address is open to anyone...
remember..... don't look back and embrace each minute..
love, peace and blessings..... stars.....
hello out there,
Here we go again....I call myself the "Golden Slipper" because I am a prescription drug addict who abuses a drug called "fiorinal" It is a common drug used for migraine/tension headaches. I have been in recovery several times over the years and have managed to put together 2 whole years at one time.
However...hence my name "Golden Slipper" I keep having slips. I like the way I feel when I take this drug. I have no desire to take anything stronger (Oxycodone etc.,) but that's beside the point. I need to get off of these pills and back into recovery. Addiction is so irrational and I always considered myself a rational person with regard to other matters. This thing just throws me for a loop. I have absolutely no control over it once it takes over.
I keep getting prescriptions and running out and getting more prescriptions. Sometimes I am amazed at how easily I can get the prescriptions. I am now taking about 6 fiorinal a day and want to try to taper myself off. (Easier said than done!!)
I am married (5 years) and my husband is very aware of my addiction. Although he does not know about my latest slip. As usual I feel extremely guilty. We are hoping to adopt a child and right now I don't feel I would make a very good parent.
I feel for everyone out there and can admit that I am "An addict" however, I need to come clean. It is so difficult!! I would love to hear back from anybody out there. Is there anyone who has been hooked on fiorinal.
I'm sure I can't be the only one.
Here we go again....I call myself the "Golden Slipper" because I am a prescription drug addict who abuses a drug called "fiorinal" It is a common drug used for migraine/tension headaches. I have been in recovery several times over the years and have managed to put together 2 whole years at one time.
However...hence my name "Golden Slipper" I keep having slips. I like the way I feel when I take this drug. I have no desire to take anything stronger (Oxycodone etc.,) but that's beside the point. I need to get off of these pills and back into recovery. Addiction is so irrational and I always considered myself a rational person with regard to other matters. This thing just throws me for a loop. I have absolutely no control over it once it takes over.
I keep getting prescriptions and running out and getting more prescriptions. Sometimes I am amazed at how easily I can get the prescriptions. I am now taking about 6 fiorinal a day and want to try to taper myself off. (Easier said than done!!)
I am married (5 years) and my husband is very aware of my addiction. Although he does not know about my latest slip. As usual I feel extremely guilty. We are hoping to adopt a child and right now I don't feel I would make a very good parent.
I feel for everyone out there and can admit that I am "An addict" however, I need to come clean. It is so difficult!! I would love to hear back from anybody out there. Is there anyone who has been hooked on fiorinal.
I'm sure I can't be the only one.
Is Fiorinol the little pill with 3 heads on it?????? you know, the outlined profile on the pill..........
Fiorinal is also fiorocet, and yeah, has the heads on it.
Golden Slipper, are you doctor hopping? I ask because it's illegal as you may have read. I was doc. hopping and got caught. I didn't have any prosecution, but others have. I was simply embarassed and now been "flagged"/? I tell you this because it can inhibit your adoption efforts. You may have read I was diagnosed with ovarian cancer- long story, but adoption is something we're considering as well. I've been clean for 15 days, I like hydro and tend to get carried away. I've taken fiorinal but never took it up "professionally".. a little humor. Addiction is the same if it's controlled and addictive so don't worry too much in the difference of pill. We're all here to help. This could be considered a substance abuse problem officially by the background check for adoption. How far along are you in the adoption. We can help with detox, and support, etc. but if you've got a chance to adopt use that as serious motivation. I'd be happy to chat with you in email. Mine is listed on another thread, you can give me yours in a post if you prefer. Ketta.
Golden Slipper, are you doctor hopping? I ask because it's illegal as you may have read. I was doc. hopping and got caught. I didn't have any prosecution, but others have. I was simply embarassed and now been "flagged"/? I tell you this because it can inhibit your adoption efforts. You may have read I was diagnosed with ovarian cancer- long story, but adoption is something we're considering as well. I've been clean for 15 days, I like hydro and tend to get carried away. I've taken fiorinal but never took it up "professionally".. a little humor. Addiction is the same if it's controlled and addictive so don't worry too much in the difference of pill. We're all here to help. This could be considered a substance abuse problem officially by the background check for adoption. How far along are you in the adoption. We can help with detox, and support, etc. but if you've got a chance to adopt use that as serious motivation. I'd be happy to chat with you in email. Mine is listed on another thread, you can give me yours in a post if you prefer. Ketta.
The way I understood it, Hinkster wanted to know which way to go. It sounded like if he went off of opiates, he would go back to alcohol. Well flip a coin Hinkster. If you really need pain meds for neuropathy it's a different story. I, too, am in pain management for PN and a few things related to hep C and arthritis. I went the full spectrum with narcotic meds in about three year's time, myself. Lortab to MS Contin.
Or you can drink alcohol if your body will let you. Even with severe liver problems, I could probably drink anyone here under the table and not even suffer a hangover! We drunks like to brag a little, don't we? Anyways, I'm told that my PN has been caused by excessive alcohol use and yes it is very painful.
I think that in your heart of hearts, you know the answer to your question. You just needed to use us a a sounding board because we give a damn....right? You are on the right track, my friend.
J.B.
Or you can drink alcohol if your body will let you. Even with severe liver problems, I could probably drink anyone here under the table and not even suffer a hangover! We drunks like to brag a little, don't we? Anyways, I'm told that my PN has been caused by excessive alcohol use and yes it is very painful.
I think that in your heart of hearts, you know the answer to your question. You just needed to use us a a sounding board because we give a damn....right? You are on the right track, my friend.
J.B.
Hi everyone...my earlier thread said I would be on line all week detoxing form lortab & oxy at home cold turkey. I did find a script of Klonopin I forgot I had and began the Thomas receipe and FYI...
It's been since Sunday w/out lortab (20 a day) and since Monday w/out oxy (3per day). Yesterday, I was in the restroom all morn. But the Immodium helped 100%. I felt some energy w/the L-Tyro, B6 and such, but really haven't gotten off my brand new sofa that's getting ruined from my fanny sagging the cushions.
Last night I thought 1 Ambien would help me sleep. HA! I wound up taking 3 and still was awake at 1, 2 & 3am. At 5am, I walked the house, found the Klonopin, took it and fell asleep till 10am today. But I'm a total zombie. And crying at the drop of a hat.
I have a chronic pain issue. But I want to see where my real pain is, thus stopping all meds. If it wern't for my damm knees throbbing to the point of visualizing taking a hammer to my caps, I would be doing pretty well, actually. (Except for lack of sleep). Originally, I was just going to stop the Lortab. That's the one I'm getting carried away with.
I almost took my oxys just now, but called my 13 yr old at my moms. (Kept her away so she wouldn't see me going thru this), and hearing her little voice, gave me the motavation to stay off all meds for at least one more day. (She too has a back issue & wears a brace, so she understands chronic pain & meds).
I'm wearing three layers of robes, but I'm freezing yet clammy. My eyes are sunk and have brown circles. I have to remind myself to eat. I choke on the Thomas diet pills. (Must be a mental thing w/pills).
But, I'm still willing to try, 'cause I'm beginning to feel/see the light at the end of this tunnel of hell. I actually have moments of feeling free and being proud of myself. But then again, I start crying for being here in the first place, and wasting a beautiful Texas sunny day in my living room. Not to mention, I'm not at work, so I'm loosing money.
If no one is interested in how my home detox is going...please don't hesitate to tell me. You're just the only group I can talk too without loosing all emotions and worrying my family if I called and spoke to them in tears.
My prayers are with you all...please keep a prayer for me too!
Hugs to all...:)
It's been since Sunday w/out lortab (20 a day) and since Monday w/out oxy (3per day). Yesterday, I was in the restroom all morn. But the Immodium helped 100%. I felt some energy w/the L-Tyro, B6 and such, but really haven't gotten off my brand new sofa that's getting ruined from my fanny sagging the cushions.
Last night I thought 1 Ambien would help me sleep. HA! I wound up taking 3 and still was awake at 1, 2 & 3am. At 5am, I walked the house, found the Klonopin, took it and fell asleep till 10am today. But I'm a total zombie. And crying at the drop of a hat.
I have a chronic pain issue. But I want to see where my real pain is, thus stopping all meds. If it wern't for my damm knees throbbing to the point of visualizing taking a hammer to my caps, I would be doing pretty well, actually. (Except for lack of sleep). Originally, I was just going to stop the Lortab. That's the one I'm getting carried away with.
I almost took my oxys just now, but called my 13 yr old at my moms. (Kept her away so she wouldn't see me going thru this), and hearing her little voice, gave me the motavation to stay off all meds for at least one more day. (She too has a back issue & wears a brace, so she understands chronic pain & meds).
I'm wearing three layers of robes, but I'm freezing yet clammy. My eyes are sunk and have brown circles. I have to remind myself to eat. I choke on the Thomas diet pills. (Must be a mental thing w/pills).
But, I'm still willing to try, 'cause I'm beginning to feel/see the light at the end of this tunnel of hell. I actually have moments of feeling free and being proud of myself. But then again, I start crying for being here in the first place, and wasting a beautiful Texas sunny day in my living room. Not to mention, I'm not at work, so I'm loosing money.
If no one is interested in how my home detox is going...please don't hesitate to tell me. You're just the only group I can talk too without loosing all emotions and worrying my family if I called and spoke to them in tears.
My prayers are with you all...please keep a prayer for me too!
Hugs to all...:)
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