I am having a really hard time with my mother, she has had a presecription drug abuse problem for YEARS. It started with xanax, and now she is into painkillers and soma, and pretty much anything that she can get her hands on. Our entire family has put up with this for so long. She goes out of town to pick up her prescriptions, she hides stuff, she lies constantly, she "doctor shops" She will be on drugs and go into rants and raves when we confront her about it, saying that she isn't, that she hasn't taken anything. The middle of November she had a really bad time, and we all pretty much wrote her off, not knowing what else to do. She went through withdrawls for about a week, and was clean, or atleast that what we think, for about a month. She thought she could do it by herself, but low and behold, she is back on them again, even though she lies and says she isn't, we can tell. She does have some health problems, but I would think that if a doctor had seen her and had noticed that she was in as severe pain as she claims, they would have put her on some kind of program? It started out she would be ok for a few months, and then go on a binge for a couple weeks, but the last few years it has gotten more and more frequent, now she will go a couple weeks and be back on them heavy for a week or so, but I don't think that she stops taking them, she must always have them in her system, because her withdrawls were really bad. Its really strange, would that be considered abuse? I probably answered my own ?. I just don't know what to do, I have listened to the lies 4 2 long!!
Wow, I can sense your frustration, disdain, yet concern in reading your post. I can relate to your sense of frustration with your mother, as I grew up with my father's alcoholism. Also, I can just imagine some of what your mother may be going thru, as I am also addicted to painkillers. It's a terrible problem that affects the entire family. Once you're hooked the drugs can make you feel crazy, helpless, worthless, shameful re: their power over you and what one will stoop to in order to obtain them. She may be in complete denial right now, or maybe she is well aware she is hooked, having tried to quit and failed, or like me, awakens in the middle of the night saying, Oh my goodness, how did this happen to me?? Whichever position she is in, unfortunately SHE must be the one to admit this as a problem and make the decision to seek help in getting clean. Something I feel, and I know my Dad feels, is shame and guilt. It's horribly embarrassing to know your secret is out, yet somehow liberating. I think a good first step would be for you (& your sibs?) to let your mother know, in every way possible, that you support her unconditionally--no matter what...that you're family & families stick together and help each other out, regardless of what the problem is. That way, when the time comes she will know she has the support of her family. Also, read up--educate yourself about this horrid disease, so you're in the best possible place to support her. Good luck & God bless!
Very well put blue. I agree. Also JM..I don't know about your mother but for me, I feel I cannot tell anyone for fear of them walking away from me.
That alone can make a person want to hide it. My best friend whom I cannot tell I have an addiction to pain meds is for that same reason. She will walk away, and I do not want to lose her as my friend. Her mother was hooked on pain meds as well and she was so upset she wouldn't speak to her mother.
I cannot say I know what it is like to be on the opposite end of the stick as I only know how I feel from this side, as the addict.
That is why I am in here and vent to the people here because I know I will not be judged, or walked away from. If nothing else, mention to your mother this site, head her this way. I know when I found this site, and I have looked at many - this is the best one out there. Also, as blue said research what you can on the addiction, the meds, etc... you could read through many of the posts here and educate yourself on what it is she is going through. ( If you would like to ) You would be suprised how much information is in this forum alone. I honestly really would just sit down with your mother, mention to her this forum, and let her do what she wishes with it. If she gets defensive, try not to take it personaly. Simply let her know you are worried for her and wish that she would at least just look into it. We are all here for the same reason/s, and welcome her with MANY open arms. I wish you the best.
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