Passwords

[Philip1815]

To all forum participants.

I reopened the forum to 2 questions per day. New users will be getting significantly more cryptic passwords assigned by the system.

You may now also change your passwords if you'd like, to anything you'd like. To do so, go to:

http://www.medhelp.org/Login.htm

and click on "Change Password"

We expect that in the near future there will be a medical professional moderating this forum once again.

Phil

[skipper]

hey Phill;
any chance this medical profesional will have any *HUMILITY*?
the best md's i've ever had were the ones who skipped the course
in arogant a__holes!! you Phill have earned my respect! will this new person be able too. i sure would hate to see a repeat of Dr
steve. i'm sorry, but i just can"t perscribe to the Dear Abby
school of medicine.
keep an angel on your shoulder
kip

[CGTMHI]

Just to let everyone know, Phil spent hours & hours revamping the entire Password/security system so that we can stop the hacker.  Phil has my undying gratitude for all his hard work, for NO pay!

Hope you all will let him know he's appreciated!!

Cindy

[skipper]

Hey you two:
i thought i made it clear in my last post, phil has earned (and
more) my respect. i also think a lot of you Cindy. just wanted to
clear things up. i've spent my life in the University of the Gut-
ter, but that doesn't mean i'm too stupid to know who to be grate-
ful to. thanks to both of you
and keep an angel on your shoulder
kip

[Bodymechanic]

I find it so hard to believe that there is a hacker. It just does not make any sense that any self respecting hacker would waste his time with an addiction message board.  I do find it easy to belive that seemingly good board members have done some weird things.  Especially under the influence. I have been using message boards for a long time and I have seen all sorts come and go.  Try not to take it too seriously.

Peace

[GOD]

Bodymechanic has more sense than the rest of us.  just thought i'd let ya all know.  bye now.

[LAURA34]

Why would you make a game of this, these people NEED this Forum, why don't you go Play with something else or is it that you have no life so you need to interfere with ours? OR is it that you DO have a drug problem and this is your way of asking for our help?

[janesays]

Thank you for keeping the forum open. I rely on this site as a part of my program for staying sober. It really helps to have others that I can communicate with that have problems very similar to mine. I just wanted to make sure that you know that your efforts are greatly appreciated. Thanks again.

[hippy]

thanks to phil and cindy for all there  time and effort.
well another day another dollar.
got to go in to work at 3  and beet feet
for a good 6 hours.
my gratitude has been lacking,
i need to be more grateful.
sometimes i can find my self
haveing everything i need, being clean
and i will just not be ok, with me.
it's crazy, im spoiled, im very good at my job and i have
been running work and jobs for , and i don;t even want to be there.im a union painter and i make 30.00 an hour and for me that is great, and i still don't feel like being there, and if i was somewhere else i would probley not want to be there.
i just connot win when it comes to my feelings.
so i just do what i gotta do, no matter how i feel.
i go to meetings , i eat , i go to work. i read. i treat my wife with affection.

hippy

[groovygirl]

What is with people butting in to other people's stuff.  Some of you have been here a week, and you feel a need to put your two cents into a conversation that isn't about you.  Is it an addict thing?  

When two people are arguing with EACH OTHER, and you don't know what has happened, WHY would you think it's your place to butt in?  Who the "f" are you?  God, it's so infuriating to have some ignorant dumbass come into a conversation 3/4 of the way through it and make some stupid remark. Argggggggg!!!!!!

[nena65]

Hi everyone......I'm new here and this is really hard.  For over a year now I have spent a lot of money and time looking for pain pills.  It started with one Percocet given to me by a friend for a headache.  I remember so well saying to him, "I don't want anything that is going to alter my mind."  But it was so wonderful.  I was the best mom, employee, friend, I could do anything.  That was over a year ago and now I'm addicted.  People who know about this keep referring to me "getting high" and while I know that's what it is, I don't feel "high" on the pills, I feel normal, I feel like everything will be okay, that life doesn't always suck, that my life and my son's life will be okay.  I am to the point right now where I have to set a glass of water and a pain pill by my bed just to get up.  I have gone through withdrawals in the past few months, but I didn't know that is what they were.  I ended up at the hospital, dehydrated, with an IV in me after days of being sooooo sick and it never even occurred to me that I was suffering from withdrawals until a few weeks later when I was watching a show and I heard an addict talk about withdrawal and the symptoms.  That's when I knew I was hit.  Since then, I have continued to buy them, lie to my doctor, etc., constantly chasing the dope.  I want to be off of them but here is my main concern.  What is the best way to deal with the withdrawals, physically, I mean.  I have read some of your postings about Thomas' recipe.  What is it?  I am a single mom and cannot afford to get sick for that many days.  That is my dilemma.  I cannot believe some of you are trying to quit with pain pills in your possession.  I think that is great......I could never do that.  Please help.....Oh, one more thing.....I have no pain, so pain management isn't a concern.  Thank you guys for being here.  I have looked for a site like this for weeks.

[suzieneedshelp]

Great post.  Keep Posting here.  There is a lot of help. Just ignore the problem we have had lately with a hacker trouble causer.  As for the recipe, it helps tremendously so i have been told.  but..you will need to find a few days to be alone I have been told or with someone who can help you.  You will have flu like sypmytoms.  You can do it.  I have not actually gone thru ful withdrawal yet but i plan on it very soon.  Its a very scarey thought i know.  What type of meds have you been taking again, the percoset all along?
Take care and keep that angel on your shoulders!
Suzie

[percsnomas]

Welcome Nena!!!!
First off, the recipe is posted everywhere, but you can find it half way down, under the heading "Good Morning EVERYONE" by Chezz, and C18...posted by the Guru himself(Thomas02)
I too came off a 3-4 year Percocet love affair, 12-18/day..5mgs; and am now into my third month off, and feeling great.

Everything you talked about,  chasing pills, lying, etc etc the guilt.....most of us have felt(over and over). You are not alone!!!!
To answer your question about the best way to deal with the w/ds is to taper your consumption over long enough periods of time to let your body "stabilize" with each reduced amt. I know you mentioned holding onto pills and not taking them is extremely difficult, thats true for many; but maybe someone you trust could dole them out for you?? Just remember, the lower the slower(the taper).
Read about the recipe, and start it before you are completely off the meds.
You need to get your body kick started, and thats what the recipe can do.
Please post any questions or concerns-----lots of knowledge here.

[Witchywoman]

Hi and welcome to the place that helps many of us get our lives back!

Withdrawals are hard, but not impossible to get through. After four days, it is pretty much over except for a few weeks of lethargy and fatigue.

If you can't taper, can you get at least a 4 day weekend scheduled to try cold turkey? You could consider medical detox with buprenorphine as well.

The recipe does make it easier. Read a few thread down, it is posted several times in several thread.

again welcome among us, and I look forward to getting to know you!

WW

[twindad]

Hello everyone, this is my first posting here and I kind of wanted to tell my story. In 1982, I was paralyzed from the waist down in an auto accident. I have been able to recover to the point that I walk again, but suffer a great deal of pain in my back. I had always smoked pot, but never used other stuff to deal. My doctor got me taking Percoset, and before you know it, I was up to 18 or 20 a day (10/650). It nearly cost me my family and my job. My doctor at one time was prescribing 360 10/650 Percoset and 360 5/325 Percodan a month, and I was taking them. When I nearly lost my kids (twin boy and girl) that is when I decided I had to quit. I love my kids more than anything I have ever loved before. I got a new doctor, told him my story, and he has helped me wean. I will pick up my last script tomorrow for 6 pills for the week. I weaned at a rate of 4 a week. I have to say I am a little afraid of not taking them, because they have been my support for 2 years now, but I can honestly say, I would rather have the pain.

[nena65]

Okay, now I'm crying....you guys really do understand!!!  To answer the question about which pills, I mostly take Vicodin because that's what seems to be mostly available, but I love Percocet when I can get them.  Right now I have about 5 or 6 Darvocet which I got this morning.  The problem is that detoxing by myself isn't an option.  I have a son who I get up for school, take to football (and now basketball too), help with homework and put to bed.  I am going to try to pick a time when things aren't so crazy, but then I feel like I'm just putting it off so I can keep using.  I have a friend who can help a little bit as far as my son, but not anyone who can stay with me.  Do you guys think I might have seizures?  I've read about that with some withdrawal.

You know what really sucks?  The fact that I have to quit.  Did you guys go through that?  Just that feeling that the one thing in life that seems to make life okay is being taken away?  But I do want my life back.  I think of all the dangerous situations I've put myself in to buy these pills and all the money.  Certain people who knew I was desperate started charging me $10 a pill.  I think of all the productive things I could have been doing when I was running all over town looking for them....

But you know what else.  It is easy for me to sit here now and list the evils of my addiction because I have them in my system and I'm feeling okay.  My real desperation will come after I take that last pill and know it is my last.  Thank you....thank you......thank you..I will be reading diligently to all of your experiences and advice.

[jule1]

Hello, I am an oldtimer on this board (not really proud of that because of all my setbacks).  I haven't posted in quite a while but your situation really hits close to home.  You need to get all of the ingredients of the recipie it will help.  If you can start on the vitamins especially the ltyrosine and vit b conplex, they have to be taken together.  If you could talk to a Dr. about your situation and have him help you wean off that would be the way to go. I don't seem to have the will power to do that.  I was a hydro lover then started with that damn Ultram because I heard it wasn't addictive.  BIG FAT LIE!  Now I am back to the hydro and beating myself up over it because I have been so close to being clean I could taste it.  Unfortunately I wasn't feeling "normal" and that is how I started on the hydro again.  WW has a lot of clean time behind her and a very caring heart, she can help along with many others here.  One of the best things I have found that is not listed in the recipie is Valerian root for the sleepless nights you will have and the restless leg syndrome.  It really helps along with some benadryl.  I wish you lots of sucess and use whomever you can to help with your son.  Your new friend, Jules

[jule1]

It is so good to see you still posting here!  Are you doing OK?  Have you stayed clean?  If so you have one of the best sucess stories on any of these boards.  How is your pain?  I think of you often and wish all the best to you, your family and your cats!  Your friend, Jules

[skipper]

jbear:
i don't know if you remeber me... but i remeber you! welcome back
into the fold! where have you been? what about these "setbacks?"
can you help an old fart junky whose memory just isn't what it's
'spose to be on these matters???

welcome home & keep an angel on your shoulder
kip

[Witchywoman]

Jules!!!! It's great to hear from you again! I've often wondered how you are doing. Did your husband get the job and did you guys move?

Yes, I'm still clean, or so my friends tell me. lol
Recently I've had a major flare of my back pain. I ended up in the ER a few weeks ago and got pain meds, but it was medically necessary. The Doc put me on oxy, and I took it for a week, but dreaded every pill. I was so scared of the Dragon waking back up that I went off it. I've had to take a pain pill a few times since then, and I have guidelines to protect me.

My husband has the meds and I don't want to know where they are.
He gives me one if my pain hits an 8.  That's my guideline.
I'm absolutely terrified of getting readdicted, since I'm an addict and always will be I can't pretend to be cured. Just for some blessed reason, I've been able to take them appropriately for pain.
Right now my pain is lower, a steady 6, so I don't need any meds, and I hope it stays that way.

Everyone tells me I am still clean because I'm  not abusing, and I took it for pain that was medically indicated. I feel torn about that, but even NA says that taking it for medically needed reasons does not end one's clean time.  
It's a big reason I began being more active here again, to be able to post about it and stay accountable. I also see a therapist and my Doc knows all about my history.

Catch us up on how you are doing! I"ve missed your gentle loving spirit.

love,
WW

[skipper]

Nena:
welcome to the forum! there will always be room in this little cor-
ner of cyber for just one more addict whom is seeking something
more than what is left in the bottle pain-pills.

believe it or not you have already done one of the most life-chang-
ing things you have probably done in a long, long time! you posted
to a group of addicts just like yourself. you are not alone. no
matter how hopeless it may seem you are not alone. keep posting and
know...there is a way through this stuff!
keep an angel on your shoulder
kip

[nena65]

Thanks so much for your advice.  As for a doctor weaning me, I don't really have a doctor who prescribes them regularly.  I typically buy them on the street.  The Darvocet I have now I bought from a friend of a friend, you know the story.  Then once in awhile I fake pain to get Vicodin from my dentist.  Of course, I have gone to the emergency room, faking a migraine to get a few pills with no refill.  But I really don't have anyone, medically or otherwise to take this trip with me.  That is why I am so grateful to have found all of you........At 7:40 PM I told myself I wasn't going to let myself take any of the Darvocet until 8:00 PM.  It is now 8:10 PM.......small successes!!

[CATUF]

Hello All:
Quick post as it’s coming from home – as the 4 kids (2.5, 8.5, 12 & 14) are FINALLY off to bed.  The 8 year old cut his finger fairly badly, the treatment of which set things back a bit, but he’s fine now.  

Otherwise, I’m finishing up a good day 25 here -- the sharpness & ability to focus is continuing to improve.  I’m in better shape than the last time I made it to 25 days or 30 days.  This is so because: a) instead of a CT, this time I tapered over 10 days (with help), with a BIG drop on day 1 (cut intake by more than half) and then gradually for the next 9 days; and b) it’s really been 37 days since the end of my taper - but I slipped at the end of my first day 6 and then tapered again for 5 days, during which the intake was very minimal.  So, it’s really been almost 50 days since the sustained usage at its high point

It continues to amaze me how much more engaged with the world I am.  Instead of the false bravado of the hydro, which covered a hydo-induced fear that I had become incompetent in fundamental aspects of my work, I find that I’m almost my “old self,” for whom those abilities were second nature.  This is good.

Another thing that’s almost gone is the subtle, but pervasive, feelings of moral inferiority – I was just feeling unworthy to take a position on or advocate anything and when I had to anyway, I felt like a horrible fake.  The same was becoming true with dealing with the kids – who was I to lecture or counsel them about ANYTHING, when I was failing in the basics myself AND lying about it to boot.

I continue to be somewhat overwhelmed by the backlog of work & problems that were so easy to completely ignore in the fog.  But, I take a deep breath and tell myself that at least now I’m dealing with the new things and chipping away at the old, instead of simply adding more to the pile in blissful ignorance.

I have watch but avoided comment on the “hacker” problems here, other than to note that I hope it doesn’t lead to a forum shut down.  I would think comment to the hacker would be a waste of words.  I’m not particularly religious, but Proverbs 17:12 seems appropriate with respect to the “hacker”: “It is better to meet a she-bear robbed of its cubs, than to confront a fool engaged in his folly.”  Another I like, although I can’t recall it cite at the moment: “like a dog to its vomit, so a fool returns to his folly.”

Well, take care all.

CATUF

[hippy]

peace to all here at the fourm
i hope everyone is getting better/
peace!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

[BTDT]

I've been watching for some time.  If I were a betting man, I'd put my money on GWH being the hacker.

[hippy]

i am a betting man, and the hacker is from cal.
and he was kicked off the fourm last year.
gw is from boston

[puma]

Nena,

Welcome to the forum and congradulations on trying to take that first step to get sober.

I don't think you have to worry about seizures unless you have had them in the past.

Seizures are well known with Alcohol and Benzodiazapine withdrawal.

BENZOS are, Klonopin, Valium, Zanax, Librium, Ativan and a few others. The generic names are often used so be careful,
Clonazapam(Klonopin), Diazapam,(Valium), Lorazapam,(Ativan) I am not sure about the other two but you can always search under Benzodiazapines and there is plenty of info on many sites.

I hope this calms your fear of seizures, you should not have any from opiate withdrawal. You may feel shakey though which is uncomfortable, besides the flu like symptoms.

I have had many seizures due to Klonopin and Alcohol withdrawals many times and I'm still around to talk about it. I'm sure a few brain cells less!lol

Take care and good luck. Saying prayers really helped me get through it, so if you are a believer you may want to ask for Gods help and guidance as well!

Chatahan

[nena65]

Thanks, I do feel better.  I'm not as worried about seizures from a medical standpoint as I am worried because while I'm going through withdrawal, most of the time I will be here alone with my 10 year old.  Thanks so much for your support......I haven't had any pills yet this morning and I'm feeling a lot of different things.  Taking the pills became less fun when I realized I was hooked.  I used to wake up and be happy when I had them, but now there is a sense of dread whether I have them or not.  If I do, the addiction continues.  If I don't, I'm desperate to find some.  Right now I want to run away from the pills and go to bed, but that isn't an option.  Things to do....I'm so glad you guys are here....

[mrrstracy]

I started Physical therapy yesterday & Monday. I was just wondering if anyone else had therapy for L-4/L-5 disc herniation and if it worked. The therapist said not to even bend over to brush my teeth. Looks pretty silly to me but maybe it works. I also have an anesthesiology appointment next Tuesday and I'm trying to decide what to have him do. An epidural, cortizone shots, nerve block, etc. If someone has been through this, could you give me some advice on which is best. Good Morning Sunshine!!

Tracy

[mrrstracy]

I liked your comment about the dog. The scripture about "as a dog returns to his own vomit, so a fool repeats his folly" Proverbs 25:11. I also found one I think you'd like Mariposa. It's Proverbs 25:17 "He who passes by and meddles in a quarrel not his own, is like one who takes a dog by the ears."

Tracy

[percsnomas]

Hi TD, and welcome.
Huge kudos for the wean, you've described!!!!
How has your back been through the taper, and what other medications do you take to help with that awful pain?
Just curious how long it took to get to your current level....;and my hat is off to you for such determination in spite of such pain!!!!
Please post more about your story, and continued good luck.

ps.... i was frightened also with the prospect of not taking percs anymore(after almost 4 years)......but am i glad i stayed the course. Now in my third month off, and feeling very good

[groovygirl]

Ok...I ran something that tests if your computer is infected with a virus, because my computer is acting weird.

It has found stuff in my Internet files and email...only in the email that I use to correspond with people from here...not in my usual email account...strange.  It is the Trojan virus.  Does anyone know anything about that?  A long time ago, I set up a Yahoo account to correspond with people I didn't know.  I use it with people from here, and I use it when I have to research "sensitive" work stuff.  Only those files are infected.  In the past month, I have only corresponded with forum members with this account, which leads me to believe the virus came from one of them.

Anyone here who emails with others from this forum should run this program...go to http://www.bitdefender.com.  Thanks to the person who suggested this...I'm sorry, I forget who it was...

[Witchywoman]

Mariposa, thanks for suggesting that. My computer (both my laptops) have been acting very wierd, I ran a full norton scan but they checked out totally clean. I'll check into this bitdefender to see if I've caught something that Norton didn't find.  I too have a yahoo account for correspondance pretty much only from here.  My  newest laptop came back from the shop yesterday, and they had said it was fine. But as soon as I read my yahoo mail on it yesterday, boom, it was acting funky, crashing out of the blue and giving me very wierd error messages.

Oi!

Tracy, I have had a few different procedures. The Doc will recommend which one she or he thinks will work for you. I've had facet joint injections, which didn't help at all, and an SI nerve block (just had that this past Monday) and that helped a little bit for the shooting leg pain I get but not a ton for the basic always present lower back pain. It did lower it about 2 points though, which I'm happy about.

Has anyone heard of the Escogue method of excercises for back pain?  I just got the book and am going to try his excercise program, I'll let you know if it works for me.

Have a pain free day and for all your detoxers, we are with you! just post and know that we are here and we care.

love,
WW

[mrrstracy]

Thanks for the info. My therapist also told me that the goal is to get the pain away from my leg and move it up to the back instead. This sounds crazy to me cause she says it's better to have "More" back pain than just a little numbness and pain in leg and butt. I'm new to this back thing and it's all a little confusing now so I appreciate any input from you vets. I've heard some really nasty things on Ultram here and I'm concerned because that is what my family Dr. put me on and refuses to put me on anything else and referred me to Pain Management. The Ultram makes me feel totally out of it and sort of shaky with alot of nausea. i didn't take it for 1 day and found myself shaking and going through some pretty nasty withdraws. Any suggestions on letting my Dr. know about this without saying I use to be addicted?

Thanks, tracy

[suzieneedshelp]

Have you considered AA or NA?  It certainly could help with many of the issues you have brought up.
Take care!
Suzie

[mrmichael67]

I called that one for you.  Sorry to be patting myself on the back.  Do you have an anti-virus program?  If you don't, get one.  If you do, make sure you keep the definitions up to date.  I know Norton usually updates them every Wednesday.  Sometimes they even do it every three days.  I get viruses e-mailed to me all of the time.  So far, Norton hasn't let me down.  If you use the internet and e-mail, an anti-virus program is vital.  If you have a broadband connection like DSL, cable, and T1, and so on, a firewall is a must.  If you use dial-up and are constantly online, then a firewall is a must also.  Like I wrote in the other thread, Norton Internet Security is a great firewall.  And, it keeps tabs on all ingoing and outgoing activity on your computer.  You would be amazed at how many times hackers look at your computer when you are online.  I was scanned 37 times one day.

[diso]

Good morning.  I have not ever posted to you before but have enjoyed reading your frank, no bull*&$t posts for many weeks.  I believe a lot of what you post really forces me to be honest with myself.  I have been lying to myself for so long it is good medicine.

I believe you asked about a trojan virus in a post above.  If I read your post correctly, you asked what one was.  If you weren't asking this, then please excuse my reply.  I am no computer expert but I do know that a trojan virus is extremely "dangerous" because most of them allow an individual out in cyperspace to learn your keystrokes.  This means that no encription will protect you.  They learn each password, each credit card number, etc. that you enter while online.  Scary stuff.  It also allows them to access your harddrve and explore around as long as your computer has a connection to the internet (I don't even think you need to be online at the time).  Anyway, I hope this information is helpful and again if I have answered the obvious I apologize.  Just trying to help.

Thank you for your posts.

[groovygirl]

Thank you both for your input.  I need to talk with a couple people, but I think the general consensus will be that it isn't worth coming here anymore, if all I'm going to get is a) **** from ignorant people and b) viruses that will destroy my computer.  Don't need to think about that too hard.

However, I appreciate both of your responses.  Have a good day.

[groovygirl]

You guys seem pretty knowledgeable...how do these "hackers" get into your computer?  Do they need any information from you?  If you emailed back and forth with someone, would that make it easier for them to get in?

[mrmichael67]

Basically, a trojan horse gets into your computer through an open port (a back door).  Once in, they can control your desktop (your whole computer).  A firewall closes all open ports and only allows incoming and outgoing activity that you tell it to allow.

[groovygirl]

Say if someone asked you for computer info...ip#'s or something like that, would that let them access stuff? They, supposedly, are very computer literate. They say it wouldn't, but ever since I gave this person the info, these things have been happening.  If I could determine who did it, I would want to make sure they payed a price for it.

[GOD]

If you install "personal Firewall" from Norton, you will not have to worry about anyone gaining control, or doing anything malicious to your PC. THere are also some free firewall programs out on the net, But I'd trust the ones that you buy from big companies (Like Symantec) more than the free ones. Plus, when you purchase a good firewall program, you will get a year of free updates with your subscription. Also, if you're refering to our e-mails where I was checking IP addresses, I was checking ROUTES, not getting any information that could be used to cause any harm. As MrMichael said, Hackers can gain access to your PC if they have installed certain programs, and have access to open ports on your PC. No one ever asked you for port information.

If you have a DSL connection, it is VERY important that you get a good firewall program, as you are always "connected." If you have a Cable broadband ISP internet account, it is not as important, but still a good Idea.

~~~~Jess~~~~

[hippy]

why do you keep posting taht message
about body mec being smarter than the rest
of us , is it some kind of joke.
i wuold like to let you know i respest the both of you .
but to keep posting that one line post more than a few times
seems odd whats up with it.
body mecanic, i mean no disrespect, i was just wondering what it was about.

peace !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!hippy

ps. i know jess i a younger guy and body is more around my age.
is it an age thing.

[GOD]

I didn't post any message about body mechanic at all. I'm assuming that our little "friend" is responsible for those posts.

[hippy]

then you need to change tour pass word and id,
just email the staff and they will take care of it for you.

[GOD]

Thanks-

I'll do that when I have time. I'm actually posting on a SECURE site right now that uses an SQL DAtabase with FAR more security built in. Funny stuff isn't happening there.

I hope it stays relatively calm over here today!

~~~~Jess~~~~

[mrmichael67]

I don't know why people think dsl (digital subscriber line) isn't broadband, because it is.  And, you can connect and disconnect dsl just like anything else.  I have it.  If a person knows your ip number, they would know where to go to get to your computer.  Most of the time, a hacker just stumbles on a person's computer by "scanning" the internet for openings unless they have it out for someone.  If a person has your ip address and has it out for you, their life is made a lot easier.  Norton Internet Security is a personal firewall.

[groovygirl]

Thank you...I think you solved the mystery.

[twindad]

My wean schedule took about 3 months total. First, I was immediately taken down to 6 a day for a total of 42 a week. Then my new doc tapered me off at 4 a week until I got down to 6 a week, which is my last script. I wish I could say that during that time I managed them well, but truthfully, I am an addict. As long as I had them available, I would take them and then get to where I had about 3 days left and be jonesing till I got the next script. I deal with my pain by taking 800mg Motrin and playing with my kids. I know now that because I have an addictive personality, whether it is speed, pot, food, whatever, so it's best for me to just not take them. They took the pain away alright, but they also took a part of me away as well, and I am not willing to let that happen. I worked too hard to get where I am to blow it now. Believe it or not, I have a Masters Degree in Counseling, a good job working for the State of California, we own our home and have two beautiful children. To think I nearly lost what means most to me, scares the hell out of me and will serve as a good lesson to me the next time I vear from my course.

[percsnomas]

Well again great job....and continued strength on your last script(that u got today?)....and when it feels like you've lost one of your best friends, when at zero, just know that is your mind F*&%ng with you.
Of course i can believe that you are ...; addiction knows no boundaries.

[GOD]

If you are interested in finding out who or what is connecting to your computer, when you install a personal firewall, such as Zone Alarm, when a computer attempts to connect to your computer, the program will BLOCK the connection and report the IP of the offending PC. You can then copy this number down, and report it to your broadband provider. In MOST cases, the perpetrator is WITHIN the same network that your PC is on. For example, If you are using USWEST.net as a broadband provider, the computer that is affecting yours is PROBABLY also on a USWEST.net account. In many cases the perpetrator is also on the same "Node" (on your ISP's network and within the same geographic region). My cable ISP is on the COX cable network, and they are really good with tracking down unauthorized connections, and will prosecute those who misuse their network.

Good luck!

~~~~Jess~~~~

[mrmichael67]

When I was running Norton Internet Security, it recorded the IP of all incoming trojans.  They couldn't get in, so I just blew it off.

[nena65]

I have considered AA or NA.  I have a friend who attends regularly who has offered to take me.  This forum feels really safe right now because it has only been a few days since I decided to really get off these pills.  But, to answer your question, I am going to taper off this weekend, hopefully be off them by Monday and after the horribly anticipated withdrawals, if I can't do it with this forum and my friend (who isn't completely available to me), I will seriously consider NA or AA.  Just out of curiosity, what issues did I express that you think could be helped by NA?  I am afraid what they discuss will be foreign to me......Thanks so much for your suggestion...

[suzieneedshelp]

jess baby you can answer this question not i...thx hon!
Nena i am very new to all this.  but...you brought up many subjects that im sure aa or na could support you with.   Take care and pay attention to the angel on your shoulders!
Suz

[suzieneedshelp]

the comment you made about feeling "normal" on the meds.  Issues about withdrawl and your kids...Anyway .. na or aa can help you with all this stuff.  And there are real people there to relate to.
Suzie

[puma]

Mrrtracy,

I have been on Ultram for quite some time and it affects me very well. I also have been on it in the past, for many months and went off it with no withdrawals.

Some people have better luck with different drugs. If you want to stick to a non-narcotic, you can try Celebrex or vioxx. Neither of those helped me at all. You never know though, they may be for you. hope this helps.

Chatahan

[mrrstracy]

I'm also on celebrex which does absolutelt nothing for me. They tell you it's the best arthritic drug and easy on your stomach. I guess that's good if you have arthritis. I have L-4 L-5 herniation so I don't think it will work. I'm only concerned about the Ultram because I take 2 every 4 hours according to Dr's orders. That seems like alot to me. How many do you take a day?

Tracy

[DubeMechanic]

Im then one who suggested Bit Defender (www.bitdefender.com), the free online virus scanner. They also offer a free sacnner that you can download and run locally.

The best reason to run an online as opposed to local scan is that resident trojans and viruses can sometimes disable Norton, McAffee etc whereas the online scanners catch them.

Also try "shields up" at www.grc.com, it will test your ports to see if any are open, as in trojans listening.


Good luck!

DM

[groovygirl]

Thank you so much...I'm glad you posted that you were the one. I will try that...I think I know who is doing this thanks to you.

[mrmichael67]

I meant I was the one who suggested she had a trojan, which I was.  Any program to scan her computer with up to date definitions would have found it.

[mrmichael67]

If you are running Norton Internet Security, the firewall, the trojans will never get in to disable it.  You create rules for each incoming and outgoing action.  If Norton doesn't recognize it, it throws up a flag.  I completely trust it because I have had countless trojans scan my computer and it stopped them all.  When I say countless, I mean hundreds of them.  If you had a reputable firewall running on your computer, you wouldn't have a need to go anywhere to scan your computer.  It basically locks up things like Fort Knox.  And, the price is reasonable with free updates for a year.  You would be surprised how many times someone "looks" at your computer while you are online.

[GOD]

For everyone interested on the current "Trojan Horse" going around, and it has apparently infected some of the PCs of the Users of this Site. As MrMichael has said, Norton Internet Security works very well in stopping ANY incoming port scans, thus it stops your PC from getting attacked, hacked, or infected. The virus we are talking about has been spreading since Oct. 22nd, and it has infected an estimated 80,000 computers in North America alone. Yet another reason to protect your PC!

Take care-
~~~~Jess~~~~


Here is the info on the current Trojan Horse Virus:

VBS.Trojan.Carewmr.A


Name: VBS.Trojan.Carewmr.A
Aliases: N/A
Type: Script Trojan
Size: 3292 bytes
Discovered: oct 22, 2002
Detected: oct 22, 2002, 14:00 (GMT+2)
Spreading: Yes
Damage: High
ITW: No
Symptoms:

It creates many 0 bytes size files in "C:\", and some empty folders (also in "C:\").

Technical description:

The Trojan display some message boxes with the text:
1. "Welcome to CLRAV of Kaspersky Labs, press OK or Accept to Start scanning your computer. "
2. "ERROR!, Code error:3212552, please execute this tool in MS-DOS."
3. "Thank You for prefer Kaspersky Labs Products"

On September the 1st it also display the message:
"Mr.Carew vuelve otra vez!!, jaja"

It tries to delete some registry keys:
"HKEY_LOCAL_MACHINE\Software\Microsoft\Windows\CurrentVersion\Run\SystemTray"
"HKEY_LOCAL_MACHINE\Software\Microsoft\Windows\CurrentVersion\Run\AVPCC"
"HKEY_LOCAL_MACHINE\Software\Microsoft\Windows\CurrentVersion\Run\NAVW32"
"HKEY_LOCAL_MACHINE\Software\Microsoft\Windows\CurrentVersion\Run\TrueVector"
"HKEY_LOCAL_MACHINE\Software\Microsoft\Windows\CurrentVersion\Run\ZoneAlarm Pro"

It also tries to connect to the site "http:\\www.avp.ru".

It creates 0 bytes size files on "C:\":
- "C:\Norton2003isbad_preferKAVORAVP"
- "C:\AVP"
- "C:\NAV"
- "C:\CHILE"
- "C:\TEMUCO"
- "C:\MCAFEE"
- "C:\ENTELPCS"
- "C:\GSM1900MHZ"
- "C:\SONYERICSSON"
- "C:\CAREFULLY_WHIT_ME"
- "C:\YOUR_PC_IS_VERY_BAD"
- "C:\I HATE MELINA"
- "C:\VBS.CarewMR.a"
- "C:\Windows is a real virus?"
- "C:\MELINA_TE_ODIO_MUERETE!"
- "C:\WindowsXP"
- "C:\Windows3.11"
- "C:\Windows98SE"
- "C:\WindowsME"
- "C:\Windows 95"
- "C:\WindowsNT"
- "C:\Windows2000"
- "C:\TELLCELL S.A"
- "C:\PORN"
- "C:\ORAL_SEX"
- "C:\BIN_LADEN_FUCKYOU"
- "C:\ICQ"
- "C:\PANDA"
- "C:\NOD32"
- "C:\TREND"
- "C:\PC-CILLIN"
- "C:\AvpM.exe"
- "C:\Kaspersky_AntiVirus_PersonalPRO_THEBEST!!!!!"
- "C:\Norton_thePOOR"
- "C:\Madonna_Sucking_my_dick.avi"
- "C:\Your_system_is_infected_by_a_virus_jajajajajajaja.jajajaja"
- "C:\THE_HEURISTIC_OF_NORTON_IS_VERY_BAD_AND_PRODUCE:POSITIVES-FALSES"

It also creates the folders:
- "C:\Symantec"
- "C:\KasperskyLabs"
- "C:\PandaSoftware"
- "C:\TrendMicro"
- "C:\Eset-Nod-******".

It tries to delete the folder "C:\Windows".

The trojan creates in current folder a file, named "CLRAV_Report.log", with an error message:
"Due an error, Code error:3212552, CLRAV has not disinfect your computer
For Support please send a e-mail to ***@**** and please indicate the Code Error."

Removal:

- manual removal: delete all files found infected.
- automatic removal: let currently updated Anti-virus delete files found infected.

[suzieneedshelp]

Did you send this from your bosses'?  Go noles..I hear you shouting louder now!  Its 10/10.  Call me when you get home if ya can...
Thx for the virus info.
Suzie

[hippy]

8 and 0  irish, hey suz, i am also a noles fan, been to a lot of there gams over the years, but i love penn st, nd.  and the the noles

peace

[suzieneedshelp]

Note above..it even fooled me!  That was not real Jess re: the virus!
Suzie

[GOD]

Yes, the post about the Virus was posted by me (Jess)!

Remember- this is my HOME computer, and the account is like that (all lowercase)!

Check your E-mail, hon. I sent some new pics!

~~~~Jess~~~~
    NM156

[GOD]

I'm watching the Nebraska-Taxas A&M game right now... It's a pretty good game!

~~~~Jess~~~~
    NM156

[puma]

mrrstracy,

Hi, Sorry I didn't get back to you sooner. I was so busy all day yesterday and this morning. I just noticed your last post you asked about the Ultram.

I take 1- 50 mg pill every six hours but I am going to tell my doc it's not enough. Actually that's the recommended dosage for children.

100 mg tabs are recommended for adults every six hours. That's what I really need and what I usally take on really bad pain days like yesterday and this morning. I barely could sleep the last couple of nights due to pain, so I just took two of the 50 mg's instead of one. Sometimes I take 1 - 50mg and three Advil. That way the inflammation is covered as well as the pain.

I hope this helps, Take care, hope you are feeling better today.

Chatahan

[kornie]

Thanks so much about your post about being in recovery and taking meds for pain.  I too have been taking meds for pain.  3 vics a day and a soma a day.  I know that doesn't sound like a lot to some, but for me it's alot.  I've been in sober for 12 years and off drugs for almost 9 years.

I too have been walking around with major guilt for taking the meds.  But I go to meetings regularly, have a support group and incorporate the steps in my life.  My support group, home gorup and sponsor know about my meds.  As well as my family and friends.  I try to stay honest and vigilent about my motives.  But being an addict, I don't trust them.  So I call someone in recovery about my meds daily.

Right now the guilt has been plaguing me and the fact that I really don't feel well.  That could also be a menapause thing...sorry guys.  But yesterday I began weaning myself off.  I took 1/2 vic in the am, 1/2 soma at 3, 1/2 vic at 6 and 1/2 soma at 9.  I also take anti-depressives at night, so sleep wasn't so bad.

THe thing is I really have a bad back - 3 herniated discs, and other stuff, as well as fibromyalgia.  My motive in taking the meds is not to be in pain......but as an addict, I guess it scares me to have to be on narcs the rest of my life.  

So everyday is a journey.

But I  have hope......and recovery...and a higher power.

Thanks for letting me dump

[Witchywoman]

Kornie,
It sounds like you are doing the best you can, being honest, and talking about your med use to keep yourself on the right path.

There is nothing wrong with taking the meds appropriately for pain. But I totally can relate to the feelings of guilt that you describe.

I take them only when I absolutely can't bear the pain, and have got a system in place to stay honest.  I haven't taken any in a while now.  I had a nerve root block in my back  and my pain has lowered to a 6 to 7 on a scale of 1 to 10.  6 to 7 is tolerable for me. Even an 8 for a short period of time.  The pain I was in emotionally when I was abusing the meds was way more damaging that the chronic back pain is now.

I have felt intense fear, more than anything else, the times that I've had to take meds for my pain since getting clean. It's only been a few times actually, but for me it feels like a lot.  I've been so afraid that the Dragon will grab me again and I'll go right back to where I was.  But as my husband, my therapist, and my NA and forum friends tell me, I can't let fear get in the way of my health.  Only those of us who have been there can truly understand the dilema.

I'm grateful that the shot worked and the pain is lower, and hope it stays that way for a good long time.
I hope your pain improves too! It's a very tough tight rope to walk, this chronic pain/addiction stuff, eh?

love,
WW