Percs..cause pain not help

[Srcsweet2]

Does being a Percocets addict mean the same as being an opiate addict?  Does rage, mood swings and down right madness typically accompany this addiction?  Does three days of pill use warrant such withdrawals?  I just don't know but I do know that the pain he cries to the doctor about and does not have...is not helped by these pills.  The pain in our household is that of which I feel ... for the loss of the relationship, the man I once knew.  The unjustified anger he has to me is bizarre... my anger is very real..the anger I have with a DOCTOR who began prescribing 100 Percocets for a diagnosised addict.  A man who has been in and out of detox for the better part of 15 years.  The past 7 had been controlled.  When he lost his second leg (he is an amputee)  the day he got out of rehab he went straight to detox because he didn't want to go home on any pain killers....now 1 year later when instead of the doctor seeing the situation for what it was began to write scripts!  The pain he is in is emotional .. understandably so .. HE HAS NO LEGS...his mother just died...and he can't get out of the house with out assistance.... hmmmmm refer to counseling or treat with pain meds?????????????
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

[Srcsweet2]

To add I do suffer from chronic pain. I have systemic lupus .... somedays it takes 20 minutes to get out of bed and another hour before I can even think of attempting a stair.  

Like I said before I wasn't a complete idiot.  In the end I actually pushed for him to be on the pain patch and he was.  I felt the patch would give longer pain relief with out upsetting his stomache.  The week before he died he told me he understood why I pushed for it and it was actually working... he then began to cry .... unable to continue the conversation.  His depression was severe.....

[Srcsweet2]

You are just an idiot.  I lived with him before the loss of his second leg and right after his 6 month stay.  He walked out of rehab and walked right into detox on his own.  Why because he knew himself.  His health only improved and he DID not have phantom limb pain after the first year.  His pain was managed on non narcotic drugs for over 3 years.  His health was stable.  It was only after his mother was diagnosised with cancer did he begin drug seeking.  

Every day I am tortured by his death and yes you ******* he did kill himself.  So depressed over the road he was on... he always told me if he fell into it again he would die because fighting it was too much for him at the point in his life.  

I begged him to let me take him to the hospital ... he cried and asked why did I still love him... not even 8 hours before his body was found he called me to tell me he was sorry for what he had done to me.  I only rec'd the message after he was found.  

He was a wonderful man larger than life... legs or no legs... addict or not he brought more to my life than anyone ever did and I he.  He would tell me that he felt that even though losing his legs was awful he wouldn't have met me.  He thanked me all the time and when he was down feeling like he should be able to do more for me I would remind him that I felt the same way for him.  He kept me going through the death of my father ... the struggles of life .. he brought love to my life ... true love.  

You are a jerk plain and simple.

[marcatj]

Sue - I am so very sorry for your loss. And your pain.

Please do not blame yourself.  Coming from someone who was once addicted, you cannot "love" it out of anyone.  It truly is a personal decision - and only that - to continue using, or not.

You loved him with all you had. That is the best you could do - that anyone could do.  And you could not have made an addict stop.  You do not have that power.  None of us do.

I hope with time you will recover, and feel joy again.  I know it is possible.

I am so very sorry for your loss..

:-/
mj

[worried878]

I am a bit astonished by the cruelty of that last post...but when someone is grieving, that is a perfectly awful thing to say as she is hurting!...I do believe in phantom pain as i am a nurse and deal with amputees all the time...the woman lived with this man and tried to be strong to do what was best for him....and she was there..no one else was there...no one else knows this situation...an addict can cause people pain and their addiction can cause more pain to themself than phantom leg pain..everyone is different......legs or no legs...chronic pain or no chronic pain....what is done is done....we were not there and have no right to judge...i wished i had not read this post

[Srcsweet2]

Nearly 4 months have past... I continue to blame myself ... I realize I was very co-dependant... and truly felt that keeping him alive was nearly killing me.  I just loved him so very much... I so didn't want this for him... I would give anything to turn back the clock.  I begged for help from anyone ... everyone... he cried and he cried to weak to get into the house ... his soul to weak to beat his addiction alone.... I only wish I would have been stronger for him ... I will never be the same I only hope I can find the strength to make sure he is forgotten & his memory is positive... he wanted that.  

I didn't care he wasn't perfect either am I  ... I loved him

Sue

[GoingToMakeIt]

Sorry MedHelp missed the bashing post.
I am sorry he had such a rough time.
It is good to have you post again.

[Srcsweet2]

So true.... sadly in my case ... a family that couldn't let go of the past... to define a man by the worst moments in their life ... for some is more than they can take.

I did not care about who he once was... I love the man as he was today.. I will love him always

Thanks
Sue

[worried878]

the pain of addiction can affect so many...and it can affect the person as well..pain is horrible/chronic pain as i have it daily...the mental anquish of addiction can be a worse pain,,,as u lose what u have left of urself,,,and it is a sad disease in many cases

[worried878]

and reality is what we deal with..on a daily basis.those of us who want to that is but we do not have to by any means..i feel for ur loss and u r in my prayers..the pain of drug abuse and addiction can outweigh the physical pain for some..we are all different

[Srcsweet2]

Well he is dead now... the pain is gone....   He had emotional pain not physical but don't worry he isn't in pain any more.

He didn't have phantom pain ... he had heartbreak .. because his family couldn't let go of the man he once was...  in the end the depression not pain killed him.

So before you start with the name calling you should have paid attention to what I was saying.  

He once was so full of life .. I loved him more than I thought I could ever love anyone ... now he is gone

School books teach black and white ... then there is reality

Sue

[flmagi]

This post is a year old and srcsweet2 is no longer around, at least I haven't seen them here in 5 months.

[Srcsweet2]

Actually I am a physical therapist and honestly being an amputee doesn't hurt I have had many men/woman patients actually come out of the hospital not even on a narcotic.  The pain that led to the surgery far surpasses the recovery.

He led an active lifestyle for over a year.  Getting out daily...shopping .. the beach...no complaints of pain at all. He talks Ultracets 4-8 daily.   It was only after the perc's did the pain seem to re-appear.  Which for him the side effects of muscles cramps, stomach pains ... etc are the issue.

His past issues as bad as they were are behind him.  Currently he is healthy as far as every MRI, blood test, blood pressure etc... Each doctor he goes too he tries a different body part certain they will find something..and they don't.

Given my profession perhaps I am a bit hardened to complaints of pain I don't deny that.  

[grievingwidow]

Are you really sure that he does not have legitimate pain?  My husband probably took pain pills for more than just pain during his long illness, but I figured it was his business, I had never been in the position he was in, and whatever it took for him to feel better, it was okay with me.  Of course, I am talking about someone who at the time had no more than a few years to live at most and even the last two years would be a continuous hospital stay.

Your husband has obviously been through hell and back with his medical condition and maybe he is the best judge of what he needs right now.  Maybe he even feels guilty for going back to the pills and that is why he is having the mood swings, etc.  I don't know, just a thought. Maybe the doctor prescribed for him just out of compassion for his situation.  I know my husband could have probably gotten anything he wanted, he had been so sick and was expected to die years before he did - the doctors respected and trusted him enough to let him be the judge if he needed something for pain or not.  It is hard for them to tell if a person is really having pain sometimes and they just have to look at the overall picture.  It is probably not uncommon for a double amputee to have moderate to severe pain I would imagine.

[Srcsweet2]

To watch this happen...to feel so defenseless... he won't get better until he is ready I realize that.....I did go to the doctor with him...the office will never be the same let me tell you.  I warned him before if he managed to get a script I would walk out the door with out him.  Considering he is in a wheelchair that would really suck.   .... Well he intern threatened me that if "i ruined it for him" I would pay.  hmmm He is very Italian and speaks like that often.. well I said my peace he said his and the doctor bought it.

Needless to say I walked out the door and left as I had promised.  It was very difficult but I did it.   Well he got a ride home of course ......

It's so very difficult to stay disconnected as I have been told to do.  

I don't feel very strong any more...or even love at this point...I am just here

[Mis Take]

I am very sorry that u are going through such a time with your husband.  I can only tell u from experience that the anger, sadness, mood swings etc.. are an effect of the opiate (or lack there of).  I was terrible to my husband for the better part of a year and throughout recovery have not been the nicest (though I do try a lttle harder.)  I honstly cannot imagine how you are feeling.  To be on your side of things must bring out so many emotions.  
You obviously love him and are a strong, confident woman to have stood by him throughout his issues.  My only suggestion would be to go with him to the doc (though I would discuss this with him beforehand) and handle that part of things (if he is willing).  The doctor is an idiot and probably just trying to ease his conscience about pain he knows nothing about.  Some will write the scripts just to get rid of you ---- very sad,

I wish you the very best throughout this ordeal and feel free to vent here anytime.  We can def understand the anger caused to family members.  I am truely sorry.