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Personality Quirks/Signs/Stress
I am living with a 46 year old man for 16 months who has been clean for two years from extensive cocaine and crank use for over 20 years.  He did attend a drug class (required by the Courts) but does not feel any additional counseling is needed.

He is now an alcoholic and probably has been for a long time in addition to the drug use.   I am trying to learn how all this has affected his personality, his dealing with issues on a daily basis.  We are having problems obviously, he will only clean up his drinking on a short term basis if I threaten him with breaking up.  I would like to learn the changes in personality, and all the issues that affect him and for how long from the drug abuse.  I have never dealt with a person suffering from an addictive personality/behavior, and would like to learn how I can handle it and how I can help him, without enabling him.

Thank you.
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RE: you 4/5 post, My husband used to do that very same thing when he was smoking pot.  I knew all of the little tricks.  How about this one...."I need to go up in the attic and check on something."  LMAO....oh man, I'm so glad I can laugh about it now.  I was furious back then.
He never wanted to run errands for me.  Oh, low and behold, during that time he woulda went to the moon and back.  When he returned, he was happy as a lark.  Suddenly I was the object of his affection.  
Why can't we just be this way all the time.  It's a crying shame we have to "DO" chemicals to feel that way.  Another thing, he used to get so angry and lash out at times, and I knew he was either running out or couldn't get some more.  I am so glad those days are over now.  My son is 12 now, it was time to end all of that.

Annie
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Sorry to jump in this thread which I have read but left alone because I have no experience or qualifications to share here... but the word co-dependent really pisses me off and I'm glad Spook de-bunked that one. I was called co-dependent by every addiction counselor that ever did an intake or family history on my daughter... and because I continued to keep her at home instead of toss her into the street to hit bottom I was the co-dependent mother. I would also have been the one to bury her and grieve forever. I realize that a relationship with a child is quite different from that of a man and woman with drugs completing the love triangle... you cannot divorce a child. I guess I just wanted to say that we do not have to be labeled for choices we make out of love for someone else or because we want to hope for the best. And Spook.. the love you are looking for is the most superlative... unconditional...... and it's nearly impossible for anyone but a parent... or God .. to love that way...and when someone's life is ruined because of a partner's addiction the concept of unconditional love is still possible.. but to love someone does not mean we can or should stay with them. I would recommend for anyone in a relationship with an addict who is disrupting their life to offer them up for healing to the divine physician and continue to support them in all their honest efforts to change but not to live in the same space with them until they are into spiritual development and can give back to you what you deserve also. Unfortunately, by then they may have found another or simply found peace on their own and unwilling to trust for a long time.. if ever.

Love, Brighty
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Grazie ! You may wish to see my post to JB and Thomas in the "were is bup" thread above on today's date. I make reference to those very same people.... seem's we are innundated with them.

Love, Brighty
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And you know what ??? I feel that my mom is the only person who loves ME that way... and that's a big statement because my husband would lay down his life for us. You know we sometimes have to become mothers to understand our own mothers. Your mother will NEVER abandon you... she is an immortal angel now and can love you even better.. it will take a long while for you to feel ok with this but communicate with her and it will happen. Love, Brighty
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I did not mean YOU are tormented ,HE is and because of the empathy of LOVE(many types) you feel his torment but you really are a free agent,live and learn from trying to help him but remember sometimes the best way to love somebody is to leave them to face thrir OWN problems.
You are welcome to to join our Global Unity System,we have scanned your consciousness and would be happy to have you ONBOARD.we will be in touch,even in your dreams.
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The co-dependency thing`y`.?/

Lets look at it number one(1) the words used {CO-"dependant"}(basically they think indepenence is all imortant)if you did not give your high intelligence and love to your daugher(things you did not learn in a book,but from REAL LIFE) unlike the poor misguided souls that study at University for 5 years and come out of of it a non human just a walking text book able to recite things and  remember them but without ever?/never! really experienced them nor do they even understand on a HUMAN level co=dependency.
  You keep up your fight for what you believe is RIGHT ,trust yourself and maybe one day we/you can help the Psychiatrists,Psychologist/social workers,etc,etc,etc back to a sense of humanity and love and PEACE,it is early days yet everthing T/WHAT we write is analysed by these people keep expessing your views  and one day even beforev the 2012(take over) the world will be a much beter place,because of absolute Angels like your.
You will have Administrative privaledges.
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You said it so well,  the co-dependence issue, I get really pissed when I hear that as well, my mom like you was labeled co-dependant for the same reason as you, she didn't throw me out on the streets, she stuck with me, supported me and even went to meetings with me. She was my mom and she loved me, what mom's should do..there is no love like that of a mom, I have learned that since the day my children were born, and yes since the day my mother died.  I have not been loved that way since her death, oh, my husband loves my, my kids love me, but I felt the "maternal love" unconditional, no matter what...when I looked at her face I felt it and the day before she died, as my mom laid on her death bed, gripping my hand as tight as she could, as weak as she was, she told me how much she loved me and how I had to promise her I would be ok.. you are right, only a mom or God can love that way.....love, cindi
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Uh ??? What is happening in 2012 ?? Who are they who are reading what is written.... and where are they NOW ??? Thank you for telling me I will have Administrative Priveleges... it is very flattering and certainly comforting in light of such a scary proposition.. at least I won't be somewhere on the bottom of the food chain... but how do you know this anyway ??? How will we/I know they are arriving ??? And where on earth did you get this date anyway ???? SPOOK.. do I have to be a believer to benefit... or will it be good enought that I stay true to my values even if I don't believe a word of this ????

You know, it reminds me a bit of all those fundamentalist type religions of which there are so many names I can't identify them ... (I remember growing up you were either a Catholic, Protestant or a Jew).... and these religious prophets always have a date when it's all going to happen... the end... but the problem is that no matter how good a life you lived they say you won't be saved if you don't BELIEVE.... Gee... no room for human frailty there.

I am wondering if God really cares what we BELIEVE... as long as we DO what we are called to do... I mean does HE care what I really think of Jonah in that whale belly or does He simply care that I am involved in ministry to the poor or those with AIDS ???  

So that's my question about whoever it is that you say are coming !!! BTW, this is very much about addiction medicine... if I hadn't had concerns about addiction I wouldn't be on this board writing this tonight. :-))

Love, Brighty
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That is right Quantum Physicists and Neurologists,etc,etc,are going to make a machine that can communicate with consciousness,it has been said by many intuative Philosophic Physicists that the date will be 2012,this date is also based upon mathematics on which they rely heavily,I already have access to the collective consciousness,however I do not want to be seen as a freek,so I will wait until if and when they do it with a man made machine,I think we best leave this alone for now,as if successful do you want your "self" stored or manipulated on a sub-nanotechnological platform after your PHYSICAL death,and worse than cloning this will enable eternal life in a non physical state.
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There is some commonality to at least the timeframe that the spooky one refers to and some of the more esoteric brain trusts out there. It seems that from even purely an astrological standpoint that there is a "potential" for some rather extraordinary events. Akashic records aside - there is always room for another slip in the frabic - remember it's all about potentials. Quantum physics is about to set the previously understood "laws" on their collective ear - once again, and spiritual revelation can't be far behind - tsall connected dude... We may even discover that our real daddy has a flying saucer and may more resemble a lizard than an ape - yikes
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"And since you have access to this collective knowledge, are you saying that you have natural access to collective knowledge and would not need a machine or do you have access to the knowledge ABOUT this machine project"

They are both one and the same question,if you got access to the collective the answer is yes and yes.
BUT In our normal perception of reality I do not have REAL knowledge or access to the place of construction of the machine.
although rumours abound.

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That is a most difficult concept .... that because of our primitive awareness... and on that I agree... that I do not have a personal soul... I know that I do, although I cannot tell you exactly how I know.. and even as I espouse connectedness quite fully... I do believe that there is a differential aspect. I will probably require much more development than I can acquire in a lifetime to present this but indeed the soul seems to have a most distinct quality... and i think it's that very thing that unites us and still distinguishes us. I do not believe it's the obvious smallness of my human consciousness that wants me to believe this... it is the greater consciousness that assures me.

Love, Brighty
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and so I separated myself from myself in order to "EXPERIENCE"
myself.
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Brighty I think the elves(aliens) told me,but I found a site so I am amazed that my intuition may have reality basis.
<a href="http://www.diagnosis2012.co.uk/index.htm" target="_new">2012</a>.


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the fact that they've already decread a date for its birth, 2012, makes me highly suspicious. Sounds more mystical than scientific. Like, "the alignment of these planets heralds the return of Elvis." I must admit the prospect of such a machine and the limitless evil it no doubt would be used for makes me want to disbelieve.
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dude - I'm thinking magiK - A.C. style It's funny - as in ironic not belly laygh funny but even the most watered down middle of the road astrologers and psychics are freaked about the timeline. Most of the ones I'm refering to don't have a clue about the Mayan thing either. I'm stoked because it's gonna be a hell of pressure point by the time it get's here.
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We may have a communication problem here so here are my definitions from my book.I believe that what you are refering to is "spirit",whereas "soul"has another meaning to me,we all have a unique spirit,but until you open the door of perception and walk into the clear light,you cannot find your soul

LUKE. G. EDWARD.

INTRODUCTION

Can one percieve the entirety of an object, that which, themselves are only a tiny component of ?.
  The Omniety,God, Krsna,Allah or any other name one refers to as their Deity of worship is possibly composed of all the particles in this Universe,especially,the as yet undiscovered particles that compose Space itself (Wheeler refered to them as Pre-Geometry).As mere Humans we must be composed of a limited and negligable number in comparison to the Deity.
  In order to percieve of God,I believe one must use their Consciousness`s most refined and Pure(emotionally unadulterated) form of its human manifestation,which I shall call our "Soul"throughout this Book.
  The term Spiritual or Spirit I shall consider our most precious Human emotional experience of  the expanded conscious state,that can, as mentioned be distilled to the level of  emotionless Soul.
  In order to percieve of ones Deity they must shut down consciouness to the purity and level of the  Soul and use its Ultra-sub-particle Quantum Energy Matrix of structure(pre-geometry) and the net collective effects of its attractive gravitational forces to interact with the larger all pervasive structure that permiates this entire Universe and in this book I shall refer to this All pervasive structural  consciousness as God,the Super Soul,
  Cosmic Consciousness as the state of intersection of the soul with God and the Universe.
  Collective Consciousness will be considered a similar communication but done between humans and also existing in perpetualty on its own accord,whether or not one taps into it or is conscious of it.
  Awareness will be differentiated from consciousness in that is requires the Neurological Structures of Organisation of the brain/mind as well as some consciousness to exist and will also be considered the "Normal" state of mind typified by having a  Subconsciousness.
This allows for awareness of being Conscious and consciousness of being aware.
  Ego will be considered as an emotive and Intellectual manifestation of the "Normal" state of mind,and referred to as the "False Self"in this Book,The persons "Identity" in their unenlightened state.
  Unenlightened are those essentially Egocentric Humans complete with subconsciousness whose consciousness is dislocated or blocked from its source (the Soul) as it has not yet been expanded and eventually by repetetive expansion,learned how to  remove the blockade and programing of society.
  The "Normal" state of mind will be considered a natural reponse to its environment and not a disease,although the Cosmic/soul-conscious mind will be considered Superior.Even an semi-egoless expanded semi-deprogrammed mind is superior,for reasons that will be explained in chapter 2.
Enlighened as being anything other than "Normal".
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We all share the same Consciousness,we are all one,what makes me and you appear as 2 separate entities in space and (time?) is our minds primitive "awareness",this annililates the prospect of having a `personal` "soul" to place in Gods,trust once the mortal body/brain is deceased.
This machine should be able to interact with the very structure of Consciousness,it may be used to view remotely by its creators your life through your eyes and ears,in effect spy on you,it could be refined to facilitate insertion of thought or emotion into your mind via the soul(consciousness).It could be used for good or evil,it may become a necessity for human survival.Who knows? would you trust humans with such a machine?
How could we fight them,when they have total control over us?
I do not know who they are,if they are Government or what,I have learnt of it from following developments in Quantum Mechanics and Neurology and nanotechnology.
Maybe It is alien technology that fell into the wrong hands,Roswell,The Crash Itself, the debris recovery, and the Military's coverup and denial.


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http://www.asktom-naturally.com/naturally/brain.html

The one issue that I have with the 12 step programs is the "belief system" it requires. I've stated before that I'm grateful for it's existence - it has helped so many including my mom and oldest son. Dogma is a ****** though because it doesn't allow much room for interpretation. One of my best friends used coke pretty much daily for 17 years and only quit because it enlarged and wore his heart out - had to get a pacemaker. His doc is also a freind of his and treated him extensively with amino acids (see address above)diet and exercise. He is the biggest nut - always was and has been clean as a whistle for 10 years. He has more zest for life than most 3 people you'll meet. He made the decision to walk away from that **** and never looked back. I know all that stuff about the pleasure center being destroyed but I also know two people that were supposed to have died according to modern medicine and are very much alive. Miracles happen constantly and the human body is an incredible invention capable of astounding recovery when given half a chance. Nuge - you know what the gig is with your fellow but I also think Cat is a very capable young woman who has her sights steady and eyes clear and I don't think she is man dependent - just doesn't have any of the earmarks. We make our choices and take the ride but the world would be a much poorer place if just because someone has a dependency we bailed on them. I lost a girlfriend because of my stuff and to be honest I'm glad - found out just what she was made of. I'm still closer to her children than she is. I've known a lot of dope fiends in my life and I've known a lot of assholes. You can stop taking dope and acting as an addict to a major extent, but it must damn near impossible to stop being an ******* because the ones I've identified are still assholes. I wish the best for everyone here and was just souding off..
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A machine doesn't seem quite the superlative... and would this be considered an actual application of quantum physics rather than just a principle of it ?? And whose consciousness are they planning on communicating with ?? Gee should I ask if they have permission also ????????  And what is their purpose?? Simply research and knowledge expansion or ultimately control.. and why would I even ask... ?? Hey, are these brain trusts in coohoots with the CIA... or I guess they are so superior in intelligence, and not being flip, as it doesn't take a rocket scientist to get into the CIA...these guys can be dangerous beyond any paradigm we can even imagine. I suppose they don't have anyone smarter than themselves to regulate them.... are they a benign group or like anything else, a mixed bag ??

Now about the belief I have harbored about Jesus being a master of quantum physics.... isn't His work... the little that is recorded ... much more superlative than that of these zany brainys needing a machine ??
And since you have access to this collective knowledge, are you saying that you have natural access to collective knowledge and would not need a machine or do you have access to the knowledge ABOUT this machine project ??

Don't you already believe that there is non-physical eternal life... however, many of us believe it is after death.... are you saying that they put you in this state before physical expiration?? And you make it sound like a choice... do I want to be stored or manipulated, is it one or the other???or was that what they do.. store and mainpulate.. and what is a subnanotechnological platform ????? What if I just want to die and go to heaven ???

Love, Brighty

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did you ever see the film, "The Full Monty?" If you have, then you know that gnomes are the ones to be feared. Elves are nothing compared to lawn gnomes.
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check out my site
www.ephedrineaddiction.homestead.com
A person who is an addict is the only person who can help themselves others around them can make it easier by being supportative ,however they have to do this on their own!
Dona
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Holy ****! Maybe little elves did it! They might of had the knowledge to slip into the building undetected and plant the explosives....those little bastards!       c h a d
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OK,the machine is being designed by secret societies(military?),that rule our world,they destroyed the Mayan temples and hid many manuscripts of sacred knowledge,the members of these secret societies have ruled this planet for 10`s of thousands of years and now fear the end of the Mayan Calender will bring about cosmological events leading to a Awakening of humanities consciousness and exposure of their deceit and control.

=================================================================This is the Phil Schneider story
He is a geologist and explosives expert. 17 years in government black projects.Has level 1 security clearance (Rhyolite 38)
Has worked at Area 51, S-4 and Los Alamos.
He is one of only 3 survivors from the infamous Alien/Human war at Dulce, New Mexico and Los Alamos undergrounds in August 1979. 66 government workers and agents were killed. Others survivors locked in hospitals.
Since the video lecture (mentioned below) Phil Schneider died in his home in suspicious circumstances.
Prior to this, he has had 11 attemps on his life.

In a video lecture he makes the following points:
-Alien metals are used in our modern military aircraft and helicopters.
-The military have known about the aliens since 1909. Army calvary found alien greys in caves in New Mexico in 1909. -The US black budget is over 500 billion dollars per year! This 28% of the Gross National Product! The black budget is illegal and an act of treason.
-There are 131 active deep underground military bases in the US.
-There are 1477 bases world wide. Average cost is 19 billion dollars.Can be built at the rate of 2 per year using space age technology.
-Magneto leviton high speed underground trains connect all the bases in the US.It also circles the whole globe.Capable of speeds of Mac 2. Al Bielek (Montauk/Philadelphia Experiments) has travelled on one.
-They use charged particle beam weapons (not lasers anymore), computer enhanced imaging radar, satellite infrared technology which can see a 5 cent coin on the ground.
-The are 18,000 workers at Groom Lake (Area 51, S-4, S2). Here there are 9 undergroundmilitary bases (over 4 cubic miles!). This is a "mega" underground base.
-Boring machines literally melt the rock with lasers.No concrete used.
-During extensions to the underground biological laboratory at Dulce/Los Alamos he was shot with a laser by a 7 foot grey alien. This opened up his chest and melted his fingers.He was saved by a Green Beret soldier.Later 66 soldier lost their lives in an underground war.
-The US military have been lying to the US Senate since 1947 (Roswell incident). This is illegal.Treason! -The US military and the German Nazi have had flying saucers since 1933.
-Phil showed a metal used secretly by the military on craft that when combined with alien technology can withstand 10 million degrees temperature Fahrenheit and is impregnable withstanding particle beam weapons. -There are over 140 elements in the true Periodic Table.(not 102 as generally acknowledged by regular science). -The alien agenda (Negatives) is the complete take over of this planet by the year 2029. The killing off of 5/6th of the world's population. The NWO and the alien agenda is the same thing.
-There are 9 races (negatives?) on Earth at present. They get high (like cocaine) from the secretions of our adrenial glands.This may be reason for the missing 100,000 children in the USA.
-Half of the 131 underground bases in the USA are actual cities for the negative aliens.
-The underground bases are being used to set up an alien/NWO take over.

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<a href="http://www.2012.com.au/Site.A.html" target="_new">Code word 2012?</a>.

OKLAHOMA CITY "BOMBING"

On 19th. April 1995, at a few minutes after 9.00 am, Oklahoma City was blasted by the "terrorist bombing" of the Alfred P. Murrah Federal Building. One hundred and sixty eight men, women and children were killed, and hundreds more were maimed or injured in this callous attack. The building was nearly totally destroyed by the explosion, whilst severe damage was inflicted on adjacent buildings, petering out at about a one-mile radius from ground zero.

This event was soon blamed upon a "right-wing militia group" composed of ex-Gulf War veterans utilising an ANFO bomb composed of from two to five tonnes of ammonium nitrate and Diesel fuel-oil set up in a hire truck parked in front of the target building. A robotic Timothy McVeigh was recently convicted of the OKC "bombing", and his alleged accomplice Terry Nichols awaits his trial (which is about to commence as this article goes to press).

On the day of the event, I, like many others, watched the CNN TV feed of the Oklahoma scene. Intriguingly, there were early reports of missiles being seen coming down vertically into the building, but these reports never resurfaced. A survivor with blood over his face was interviewed about one hour into the rescue effort. He described how his life had been saved by his previous domicile in California. When the Murrah Building began to shake violently he recognised an earthquake, just like those he had experienced in California, so he dived under his fifth-floor desk. Some five-to-ten seconds later, a huge explosion demolished the building around him, but the desk saved his life.

Then came reports that more bombs had been found, and a utility truck with a small armoured bomb box in its tray was shown, whilst the FBI's radio delivered a conversation alleging large drums of mercury fulminate explosive had been found attached to building support pillars next to the lift shaft.

I became agitated, since I had never heard of earthquake-type effects hitting a building before a bomb went off, and I knew mercury fulminate to be an extremely unstable explosive and very unlikely to have survived a major explosion. Also, the size of explosive drum reported then and later photographed would have been far too large to fit in the armoured bomb box that reportedly drove away with these dangerous prizes.

Explosives experts in Australia, the UK and USA (e.g., the General Partin report) began to question the nature of the damage at OKC. The gist of their theses is that low-velocity explosives like ANFO cannot have demolished so many support pillars in the strange pattern seen at OKC, since the blast pressure falls off according to the inverse cube distance law
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Well this is the way I see it.
<p><center><img src=http://www.hedweb.com/animimag/elepbaby.jpg  </a></center>
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spookster re: EGO roles as apposed to california rolls - for someone who delights in being verbose and abstract in the extreme you sure as hell are succinct when you wanna be. That was beautiful. Bright one. As I'm a "silicon valley" silicon "boy" :) I though I would attempt (this is risky any time spook is in on the deal :) an answer to some of your questions - I suggest these sites to form your own definition for nanotech stuff. .http://www.hedweb.com/http:// www.zyvex.com/nano/
These are basically devoted to the positive side of technological advancement and promise. It doesn't take a quantum mechanic to see that it can and probably will be used by the dark T-shirts as well. Spook has actually addressed most of your questions somewhere on the site here but it was spread out over several days / questions etc., so I'll do my best. Materialism - this is the basis for both the perceived need and indeed the manifestion of a "machine" that will do what we are all born with the capacity to do. the entities with an investment in control would obviously relish something so powerful. It's possible existence is quite real. There is a "shop" in San Jose Ca - the heart of silicon valley - run by a very nice young American/Chinese engineer that is a captal funding outfit for the CIA. It's quite overt and they make no bones about the fact that they want all the coolest toys first. You have to remember that there are a bunch of good intentioned citizens in just about any group out there CIA included. Because this country is so rich and so wide open the need for technolgy to monitor threats is very real - like anything else tho it can be used for more sinister purposes. It's quite easy to typecast any guvament org as dark. Reality is just not so. So again we have the "potential" for exploitation and abuse - not an edict. Technology is accelerating at an almost geometric rate now and is really just getting started. Every decade or so we have busted through a threshold that was governed by "physical science" that has changed dramatically. I'll propose an anology. Remember the 8mm cameras that not to long ago were the staple of family vacavtion films? Ever watch streaming video on a high powered computer - 1.2 mb processor and a shitload of ram? If not, it's like riding an OLD bike to the airport and climbing for a ride in an F-18 hornet. That whole "the future is here" thing - believe it.. There are entire new technologies based on manipulated DNA and nanotechnology - wherein living cellular structures are "programmed" for specific tasks and "self learning" and much of it has spawned out of medical research - think about that knowing what you do about AMA and the Pharmacy business.
Several years ago I spent about three hours on a plane next to a researcher from UCLA. He was part of a team that was mapping voice recognition patterns in the human brain to develop models for ostensibly benign and consumer friendly things such as software so you can tell you car/cell phone whom to call and have your computer pull up a file while you do the dishes. Once again - potentials  :) The ghost in the machine - there is documented evidence that the  - animation body - or what you think of as the non-physical and eternal life force, can be and may actually be more of a director and is not necessarily "in" the physical body, at least not all the time. Regarding heaven : we all get to die Brighty that's a given. The fact that we die and "just go to heaven" sounds a lot like my mother saying jesus has saved her. He may have saved her but I don't think it's mechanism is quite how she perceives it. I strongly suspect that we most likely - relatively speaking - end up at the same frequency once we discard this mortal coil. Word up - do the work here and now because no one that I've come across really knows. Even though there is commanality in life after death scenarios - there is also much disparity, suggesting to me, that much like human experience incarnate - what takes place on the other side may be unique for all of us..
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you crack me up.

although, spook, you have a baby elephant and a mother elephant. if she left him at this point, he would die.

but with enough time and what, grass?, he will grow..

i watch the nature channel too, you know.

:) cat
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http://www.sathyasai-se.org/

The site isn't very sophistaced - and the deeper you go with this  - if you should decide to you will find a theme with Sai Baba. He doesn't go out of his way to impress at scale. What he does is build a solid foundation slowly but surely and holy. A dear lady friend of mine that is a wonderful family counselor and ex-girlfriend turned me onto Sai. She runs a chapter for the US Sai org in Portland and goes to India to visit. She has seen the "calling cards" - manifestations etc. in person. I've read the core of the books written about him - most of them by his early followers some of whom are Psychiatrists and so on. One of my favorites is I think called  - A Christmas Discourse - it's about Jesus and the Bible and confirms many of my suspicions about both. It really cleared a bunch of negative bullshit I carried ( and knew I did) about Jesus as a result of growing up where I did and listeneing to the common **** that people do with his works. Anyway hope yer well. Oh - one thing I remember when I first began my investigation of Sai was that someone asked him why he was incarnating (there is a trilogy incarnation and he is the second)- without blinking he said "to stop the thermonuclear fires". He speaks directly to the level of the being he is dealing with - no more and no less.
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SOME OF THE ROLES THE EGO PLAYS


THE VICTIM

is someone who feels ashamed of themselves. He is very needy of other people and asks constantly for their advice and does not take it. He will often complain but will not take any action. Often heard telling hard luck stories containing phaes like "It's not fair, "You're so lucky. Those who try to help are left feeling frastrated, helpless and impotent. Frequently play the "yes-but" game with those who offer suggestions of assistance.



THE RESCUER
is someone who is motivated by guilt with a great difficulty in saying no. As he wishes to have everything around him harmonious he seeks to attend to the needs of others but deprives them of the opportunity to help themselves. The rescuer needs to be needed and is seen as virtuous and kind. Always appearing strong he will feel taken for granted. Rescuers and victims attract each other strongly.



THE PERSECUTER
is someone who is motivated by anger. He puts out the message "Go away, I don't need You!" i.e. the opposite to the rescuer. His isolated, critical and aggressive stance is but a wall of protection around his vulnerable nature. The world appear as black and white to him - "PuII yourself together!" would be the advice he might offer a victim. He believes that through attack he will get what he wants.



The ego's plan for salvation centers around holding grievances. It maintains that, if someone else spoke or acted differently, if some external circumstance or event were changed, you would be saved. Thus, the source of salvation is constantly perceived as outside yourself. Each grievance you hold is a declaration, and an assertion in which you believe, that says, "If this were different, I would be saved". The change of mind necessary for salvation is thus demanded of everyone and everthing except yourself.

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The tricky part is knowing how much to let slack and how much to tug.

a little metaphor for the afternoon..

when a person's down and they have to stand on their own, and you've got a rope tied around their waste, it's very hard to not have the urge to yank it as quickly as you can, hoping the person will just spring up to their feet and all will be well. but you know in reality if one were to do it this way, the person would simply drag along the ground, unable to get their own balance in such a quick amount of time.

this desire for a quick turn around is what plagues those people who are in love with addicts, parents of addicts, anyone involved in the addict's recovery process. Patience is a very difficult thing to achieve when you can't tell for sure what the person's balance is, or what they feel their footing to be. No one can tell except the person themself.

But it's this 'quick fix' desire that the addict wants also. When they were using, the drug was their rope. That's why so many relapse, because the withdrawal effects come slowly and painfully, and they want to   b o u n c e   up!

So hang in there, anyone holding a rope. Just don't get burned. It's kind of a paranoid feeling also, that i've had sometimes.. that when my guy springs up finally, will i fall down in the momentum and not know how to handle him 'problem free'

what a crazy thought.   but real also.   cat
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Luke - Thanks for the compliment and the site(s) you post, I gotta have that book and now!
Cat - the comment about what to do with yourself once your partner gets it together was not lost on me. My mother and stepfather almost split up after almost 20 years together because she cleaned up from her valium binge of about a quarter of a century. Poor fellow was lost without her to take care of and had to deal with more "normal" releationship problems. It most definately is a very real issue and I would supect that the length of time together could work either way in terms of being an asset or liability. Hope you are all good. PS - spook - now I think I know where all our electicity is going here in CA. I'll bet they had a reactor go down at groom and diverted our juice! :)
D
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Very nice post,I am looking at the sites now,it is good to oscillate in constructive harmonic resonance.Just watch out for Schrodingers cat on the pathway to enlightenment.It more of a tiger really.
<a href="http://www.2think.org/quantum.shtml"_new">Milk for the mind</a>.

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cool
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I have a whole bood on gnomes.....cute little critters....
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Sorry, I meant book, and SPOOKY LUKEY  Ok young man,   I have been sending you e-mail and the Mailerdemon has been sending it back   wuzzup????????? Have a Happy EASTER    Love the Easter Bunny ;)
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Ok,  I just became concerned....I am going to try the upnaway again and see what happens, then I have an attachment to send
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I do not know if you are following this thread,but since I tried to get a Hotmail email account(gave up as limitations on username password etc,really pissed me off :"spook2345645", sorry try "1qw3dfgj6jfcjj3488xkmremcxkl",that is available and REAL easy to remember,****!!!.
Please try again as I think everthing is alright(sure ting:tingly sort of feeling!),although I am concerned ,as I sent an email from ***@**** to a friend in Japan and it came back like a bunch of lies saying:-("hello,I am Robert your friend and want to talk to you but first you must get a Hotmail account),like I know this is not what he would say,and I have sent him emails before and recieved them back from him to above address.I think Microsoft has knickers in a knot because my secret question was real hard to guess"what is my real name?",implying ?I gave a false name to sign up information,but the answer was "None of your business" of cousre I did not provide any REAL details of whom I thought meant to be in the appplication,now they like playing games or what,maybe when I gave their secret message security a once over I used known active hotmail addresses,and know active passwords,now they are trying to intercept my email and and and..........., Probably just the attachment on the email it was pretty heavy ANIME
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the e-mail address is not working still......do you have another one?
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No,I am not trusting Hotmail,they are trying to suss me out,so I will have ***@**** open for "windows"(ie when poss)

Did you ever see that program on TV where a Phone/communications company Triangulated to source a transmition to an ISP from a mobile phone and ET`s intercepted it(the triangulation pattern)and terminated transmission(well that is not the "window" period).
I do not think they like spooky things,whereas if Luke does it it is OK.

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so will this problem ever get fixed?  I enjoy your mail...you are quite a character and I mean that in a good way,  ok my little Koala bear,,,i have to get some sleep...i had been awake for 26 hours the other night and then only 3 hours last night..ever since I went to the cemetary on Easter I have been unable to sleep...talk to ya soon    love cin
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pLEASE LET ME KNOW WHEN YOU GET IT FIXED     LOVE CIN
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Same here:I want to fix it ASAP and will ring my Internet Service Provider `Today`.18-4-2001,4:41 (EST)wednesday.
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Hey my grandpa tries to get everything for free.  My aunt went his house once, and saw him figiting around w/ the phone lines, LOL, and asked him what he was doing........(get ready for this one!!)  He said I'm trying to get internet service.......lmao
We are waiting for him to build a space ship, and go to the moon to install his very own satelite.lollllllllllllll

Annie.....(:


PS......He tried this w/ cable tv too......lmao
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I can help him get free cable and Internet,but it sounds like he enjoys the challenge more than success.As far as space ships go,are you sure he is not taking to many antiparkinsonian drugs?.
Never the less we all need a cute fury koala crawing around our roof tops and lamp posts,he sounds fun!.
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Oh he's fun alright.  My grandmother passed away 18 months ago from terminal cancer, and we all thought we'd loose him after that, but his inventivness saved him I guess.....Now he has a neighbor lady bringing him pralines (home-made candy) lmao.
......uh that's when he's not up on the roof.....LOL
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......I haven't read the whole thread, but upon running through rather quickly......You all were discussing something happening in 2012.  Well, that is what some Biblical prophecy experts say, and I can't relay everything, but they've done their homework and thoroughly studied time lines, and artifacts/geography...
There is also one web/radio link that I frequent from time to time, and they were discussing what happens in some of the U.N. meetings......we are so in the dark.  This guy just slipped in w/ some group, and said they already have laid the ground work for whats to be called the "National Neighborhood."  Need I say more.....Sounds like a One world gov't thing going on there.
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Its called the "NWA" new world order.
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NWO :"The"-New World Order.

As implemented by the NWA new world Authority(the Covert "Underground American Military"
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.....Do you listen to the same program as I do?  Actually the program is calle Unraveling The New World Order.....heard of it.
Very interesting.  I think you got it right.

annie

I'm waiting on my email!!!!!!
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