Pill addiction

I have what they call Chronic Migraines have had them since I was 13 I am now 20 female, with a daughter. I have been on multiple pain killers since that time I have drawer's full of pain pills because they never worked and I got so ammuned to the pills they didn't phase me. I will be honest I really dont know if im addicted I feel I could stop anytime I choose to but I cant stand the pain. I got a 18 month old daughter I was married for 8 months and together for 2 years before I over dosed one night just so I didnt have to deal with him. I started taking pills just to ease the pain of the abuse and cheating. I then started to do it all the time, and I will get these extreme cramps in my stomach. Im now in a serious relationship and I want to better my life for myself and my family but I dont know how to do that with out having to deal with the pain of the migraines... I dont want to admit myself into rehab for the fear of losing my daughter. Because like I said I feel I can stop but when I try I always go back to it the longest i've gone with out pills is a week this has been going on since I was 13 remind you...

[justneedtotalk]

First off.....Welcome!  You are right where many of us have been, many many times!  To answer your questions......Yes, you are addicted.  The unfortunate thing about this addiction is that our brains have a tendency to manifest pain to ensure it gets its fix.  Many on this site have legitimate pain like myself and I was convinced that I needed the medication to maintain a normal life BUT I WAS WRONG.....Once I quit the pain meds and had a chance to get sober, I noticed that a lot of my pain was gone.....yes, I still fight pain issues but with the help of non-narcotic prescription pain medication, I am able to mitigate the level of pain well.

You have been on these meds for a decent amount of time and depending on how much you have been taking, will dictate how severe and how long your withdrawal will last.  I appreciate your situation with your daughter and I agree that inpatient rehab would be expensive and risky.  

I would recommend finding a loved one, friend, or relative that you could confide in to help you with your daughter while you go through the withdrawal process.  Then, spend some time on this site researching the natural remedies that help lessen the effects of withdrawal and shorten its time.  Having a plan also really helps.  From there it is easy (if there is such a thing).  You just have to quit.  Like you mentioned in your post, you have gone a week without so you know a little about what to expect.  If that loved one could help with your daughter, it will help you concentrate on getting better.  The withdrawal effects should only last 5-10 days and then lessen each day from there.  Is this going to be difficult.....Yes.  Can you do it without formal detox centers......Yes.  An AA or NA group can REALLY help and is almost necessary for us that have long term addictions.  I do promise you this that you have not really been able to experience life as it should be enjoyed yet.....You are young and will recover quickly.  You owe it to yourself and your daughter to live life sober.  I know all too well what it is like living out of a bottle and that is no life at all!  

To give you an idea of how wonderful life is on the other side......My worst day sober is 1000 times better than my best day on opiates.  Even if I am in a lot of pain, it is better than planning my life around pill supply......Well, I hope you stick around and find it within you to make this life altering decision!  Many people post one time and we never hear back from them again.....Post, ask questions, ask for help.....This site is aftercare in itself!  Good luck and God bless!

[littlebit667]

justneedtotalk is on the money!  You are way too young to spend the rest of your life on pills.  it is a long rocky road.  There will never be enough pills.  One too many and 1000 is never enough.  The people will help you thru as long as you keep posting and let us know what is happening.  

I kept telling myself...YOU HAVE the FLU!  It will be over and I will feel so much better.  My brain seemed to get that and settled down a little.  It is hard, but doable!  The Thomas Recipe (bottom of the page under Health Pages as Gnarly said will help.  I did not to the tranquilizers and had to cut back on the Ltryosine, but the rest really helped.  Imodium (immodium), Imodium (immodium), Imodium (immodium) (liquid or pills if the liquid can't be found or you can't swallow it) will help.  I took double the dosage for a few days (personal choice) and it helped so much..even with the withdrawals in general and the opiate trots which sucked.  

Hydrate and eat!  Even if it is just a little every hour or so.  You have to eat something to keep your energy up as much as possible.  

If you have Restless legs..it is hit or miss what works.  Walking seemed to help me some.  Hot bath with epsom salts..a little.  I finally had to get my doctor to refill my restless legs meds (non addictive) to get some sleep.  If nothing works,your doctor might help.  

One hour at a time is all anyone can ask.  After 2 weeks it gets a little better and I started to say, One day at a time!  Your brain will do all sorts of things to get you to take a pill.  I found if I was hungry..the cravings got worse.  I would try to eat a banana, a few grapes or a few crackers to get that under control.

Good for you.  I hope all goes well.  You have made a good start coming here....this site has helped me so much!!!  Keep posting!!!!!

[LeaAnn807]

Hey, you have made a great first step here.  Making the decision to stop is wonderful!  You'll feel bad for a week if you do it at home.  If you can get a doc to help you, there are prescription meds that are not addictive to help you.  What pill is it that you take each day that you'll be WDing from?  I think I missed that part??  And that might make a difference on how it needs to be treated as far as WD.

You are too young and have too much to live for to live this way for the rest of your life!  We have been through it and are here for ya! : )