I've best posting on and off here for about 3 weeks and haven't run across any advice on how to get over the mental part that you need to take pills? How do you do that? Would therapy help? I'm tapering on suboxone so the narcotics aren't even on my mind, it's just that every 3 or 4 hours I feel like I need to take something!! I hate myself and get really down and now can't sleep all that good, so I told my doctor and he added an antidepressant and sleeping pills and it helps but again it's just more pills so I'm always looking at the time to see what I can take. Is this normal??
Thanks for any input/advice!
What helps my mental part is getting out and doing things. NA helps, I am looking into therapy now. I have noticed when I am at home not doing anything I tend to think about the pills more often. Can you go out and do something you enjoy, or pick up a good book? I dont know whats going to work best for you but I know taking walks helps me. Good luck in your recovery.
I was thinking of seeing a psychiatrist, or is that the wrong route? I do notice when I'm busy I do go longer between meds but I get so mad at myself, it consumes me. I'll be reading a book and think well it's been 2 hours what can I take?! And it's not a high it's just wanting/needing to take something. I really feel something is wrong with me, normal people don't take that many pills a day! I'd be embarrassed to list my daily meds !
Just like Scaredmommy said, get out and do things whenever that urge hits. You have to replace that urge with something else. When I detoxed off of pain meds I started the Amino Acid Protocol. It helped big time with the urge to take pills (even though I was taking pills but they were healthy pills) I didn't get that "take a pill" craving. Maybe when you get the urge to take sub, pop a mint in your mouth. Exercise really helps the cravings too. Some people will lay down in a dark room and listen to some music. Others may pick up a book. You just have to find something that works for you. Just keep trying different things. You'll find one that works eventually.
What is the amino acid protocol? I've thought of starting vitamins just to take something but again it's the pill popping I can't stop! I carry one of those 7 day pills things in my purse and I'm always digging it in. I've tried leaving it at home only to stop at Walgreens and get some excedrin I feel hopeless
You dont need to hold back on here. We wont judge you believe me nobody judged me when I spilled my guts and they should have. I am currently looking into a drug therapist because this is their field of experience and I think they would be able to help me better then a general family therapist. I was doing what you did as well I would take my pill wait awhile check the clock, think to myself do you still feel the pill? if not I would take another one. From what your saying it sounds more like you are having a hard time letting go of the motions to take a pill and not what they do to you. I am sure somebody on here as been through that. Maybe if you do list what you take daily somebody on here might have experience with that and be able to help you and give you more ideas. It took us a long time to become addicts we didnt become like this over night and it will take us a long time to get our lives back together. I was told it takes 90 days to break a habit and that is my goal right now. Have you started setting any goals for yourself?
hi i no wat you mean iv poped pills sins i was 15 or so the illigal kind and now the legal kind.im curantly adictid to patches at the min but thats a hole nother story how i got over my need to pop something i realy got into the gym and bodybuilding now its not for everyone nut it helped me its a full time job you need to allways think wat your eating wen your going to eat next and stuff whitch helped to a point but my hands keept going to my mouth still after a while i noticed my hands stoped going to my mouth because it just went from my mind the dreams stoped but i found myself twidling things inbetween my fingers anything i could find string id make a not in it and twidle it until its smoth trouble is its got so bad im twidling the bottoms of all my t shirts and puting holes in them i twidle so much.wat im geting at is talking helps to a point you have toi find something to do with your hands its allways going to be with you the urge i mean but try to find something outher than twidling coz it does get on your nerves good luck
Well I've never been honest as to all the meds I take daily so I'm going to come clean and hope to get some ideas. The gym and getting into body building may be something to think about..,but I feel like I need professional help. I go to a pain management doctor for the suboxone and they still have me on 8 mgs a day however I've tapered to 4 mgs a day but I've been stuck there for the last month! I don't tell the doctor cause I'm scared of getting less pills, even if I don't take the 30 pills I get I'm scared of not having them if that makes any sense!! He doesn't take insurance so I have to pay $180 every month for a urinalysis and a script! But anyways getting back to all the meds I take, it's really embarrassing but here it goes, 2 mg sub as soon as I get up with a .25 Xanax, then if I have a headache mid morning (which I've had for years) it's either 2 Tylenol or 2 excedrin, then at lunch I take my Cymbalta, started 3 weeks ago and still get nauseous so then I take a Phenegran, then 2 mgs sub on my way home and another .25 Xanax, and then I'm watching the clock to see if it's time for my Lunesta (to help me fall asleep). If the 3 mgs don't work sometimes i'll take another half ( they are 3 mgs pills) or if not I'll take a soma and over the last couple of days I'm trying to take only 1/2 xanax so then I took a 5 mg Valium. And during all this If my headache comes back I'll reach for more tylenol. So as you can see I'm taking sonething all day long, funny thing is I don't feel high, I work full time and drive an hour to work and an hour back. Just scared of what I'm doing to myself, but I've Never told a doctor what I truly take. Oh and during my period I get real bad cramps so then I add ketorolec to the mix! What a mess huh??? I haven't set any goals except to taper the subs but I'm scared that when I stop, I'll replace it with something else. What kind of doctor do you think I should go to? Sorry for the long post and thank you all!
A therapist/psychiatrist sounds like a good idea. You need to find out why you feel the need to "take" something every few hours. Getting to the root of why you abuse the drugs or feel the need to be on something to get through life is something you need to focus on. Most of us addicts have to do that to get clean and more importantly, stay clean.
trust your gut and find that therapist. Good luck to you.
First thing you NEVER need to apoligize to any of us. We are here to help others like somebody helped us. Now does any doctor know all of the medication you are taking? The reason I ask is because of drug interactions. I dont want anything bad to happen to you. Another thing it is great you have a goal your goal is to taper your subs and you are doing that. Keep going with that as seeing how that is the first one you want off of. As for sleeping have you ever tried a natural sleep aid? I take melatonin and it works better for me then lunesta did ( but that is just me everybody is different). Are all your medications perscribed to you? I only ask because again I am worried about the drug interections. I legally cant tell you what kind of doctor to see but I do think somebody who you can be open with and tell them everything will be a good choice, keep in mind it may take you a few tries to find that right person. I am sure a lot more people are going to respond to your post with more ideas on ways to help you. I am personally very proud of you for taking the steps you have taken so far. you posted, admitted you had a problem and you told us all of your medications that you were scared to say. That right there is great. Why dont you also make a list of the medications you would like to get rid of first and start a plan of action. A lot of us found out that when we stopped all of our medications a lot of our symptoms for why we took those medications went away. I know you can do this. keep talking to us even if you are just rambling away we will still be there for you and offer as much advice and support as we can. We have all been there and we all know what its like.
Yes they're all prescribed except for the Xanax and Valium got those from my mom to help me taper and I KNOW you're not suppose to take them together but it calms me down, again I probably have an excuse for all I take, but I do realize it's not good. It's going to be hard to find a doctor to be honest with, but I'm going to do it. I can't keep living like this. Thanks for listening to me, it feels good being honest without being judged or yelled at! Going to try to get some sleep and will post back tomorrow!
Elmijack - Many times with chronic headaches you will get rebound headaches by taking so much medication. I know it stinks but most docs who handle headache management will tell you to stop with the excedrin/tylenol etc. deal with several days of bad rebounds and then a lot of time they will let up. I've struggled with headaches my whole life - you might consider seeing a doctor who can help you specifically get that under control.
You are on a lot of different stuff and I'm concerned about interactions as well - I know most of them are all prescribed but are they prescribed by the same doc? Does one physician know the entire truth about what you are taking? If not I really want to encourage you to get some help here, find a doc you can come clean to.
As for being afraid of not having the pills - I DO get that, believe me I do. Those pills for people in chronic pain situations are a security blanket. For me - I was taking the pills and still in pain because my body was used to the dose and wanted more - I didn't want to give it more as that is a vicious cycle and in another year I would have been right back in that same position again and perhaps moved to another med that was worse than what I was taking. Anyway I understand how you feel.
I don't think there is any easy way out of the habit of taking that pill, I was really starting to ritualize my taking of pills when I decided to stop - they were no longer helping the pain but yet I continued. Keeping busy and replacing those behaviors with something else really is key. It's like cigarettes or anything else I imagine.
In the beginning I would watch the clock and missed the physical action of taking my meds, at 37 days it is honestly much better now. Now my challenge is psychologically living with my pain and learning how to handle it.
It sounds like you really might benefit from seeing someone, if you have chronic pain I believe there are psychologists that specialize in that where they give you cognitive behavoir therapy, biofeedback etc. I really wish I had insurance and could afford a therapist because I need it to learn to deal with the pain.
I want to share my xanax experience with you - I only ever took 1 mg at night to sleep with my ambien. It's a really low dose and detoxing off that low dose of xanax has been more uncomfortable than the hydro withdrawal in a different way and more extended since you have to taper really slowly off that. Please don't get yourself hooked on it. I just stopped my sleeping pill and xanax at night 4 days ago and I know the lack of sleep is just devastating. I try melatonin, some nights it works others it doesn't but I recently read taking less is better than more as taking just the recommended dose most closely mimics what your brain produces - taking more melatonin thinking it will work better is the opposite of what you should do (I did not know that and I had been taking 2 for good measure - 1 works much much better for me).
Right now focus on getting off the main meds you need in a safe way with a doctors advice.
I know this is long - I just wanted to reach out to you and share this stuff. I hope it helps.
Above all, please seek out some help on all the various meds you are on.
Thanks for writing, I see my pain management doctor and I've gotten all meds from there except the Phenegran, that I got for gastritis from my primary and my pain mgmt doctor knows all I take except for the Xanax, he doesn't know I'm tapering the subs, I know I should be honest but I chicken out when I get there. I started the xanax about a month ago and need to stop because plain and simple I like how it calms me down immediately, but again it's just another pill, so I'm going to continue tapering the subs and start doing the same with the Xanax. I know about the rebound headaches as I've been dealing with chronic headaches for 20+ years which was what started me on meds in the first place. I read on here where it takes 90 days to break a habit, so i'm going to start a journal and see how that goes. Thanks for all the advice I'm going to continue to get off of all this junk I'm poisoning my body with!
I may be totally wrong and am not a doctor. But one thought hit me. It is almost like someone who is OCD. You have to take the pills because you have to. Does that make sense. Just wondering and wanted to throw that out as another thing to think about.
Well I wish you strength to make the changes you seem to want to make. It ain't easy but it's really worth it. I calculated it up and I was taking 9 various pills a day - thats 270 pills per month plus whatever motrin and tylenol I'd take (probably 4 or so per day) - that is A LOT of strain on my poor little liver who I'm sure is thanking me about right now for doing this.
I've wondered about that too, going to look for a good psychiatrist and see if they can help. I know this isn't normal I've never heard or know anybody who does this! But I'm so scared to be honest with a doctor and be labeled I really think that's one of my issues, nobody except my husband knows I'm on suboxone and I won't tell my primary and didn't even fess up when I went to the ER last year and they did an endoscopy and I didn't tell the anesthesiologist either. Told them I took Lunesta and Tylenol or excedrin, real stupid on my part but didn't want to be treated like a junkie....they even gave me a script for 15 percs but I threw it out! Can't go down that road again.
When I saw an addiction therapist i had the same problem of feeling like I needed to "pop a pill" she said to buy some tic tacks and pop those. They won't hurt you at all and they trick your brain to make you think that your taking something. I laughed and thought she was crazy but I tried it and it really did help.
just a quiki i dont read to well but i had a good old go at reading all the post,s wat,s helped me is one i actualy had enougth of taking pills i got to a stage in my head were i had .had enougth i came clean to my doctor he referd me to windmill house a rehab clinic i had a few interviews first with hoo is now my key worker wat im saying is talking and being open realy helped i think this is the first step and second when i went to rehab i realy listend and took in all thay teach you about adiction so that then gave me the tools i needed at that time in my life to stop.im adicted to poxy patches now the doctores put me on them wen i had an accident 7 months ago iv been on them ever sins im starting to get my head into coming off them its no life havin medication in charge i want to be incharge of how i fill try thinkin like that maybe.anyway good luck
Yes I stopped, 38 days today off hydro and 6 days off my sleeping pill and xanax (which was stopped after a slow taper)
I'm in pain but still sooooooo glad I stopped, it has been worth it. Bought a new bed today so hopefully that will help with the back pain. My headaches have been at bay so that is always a blessing. Today life feels brighter than it has all week.
There IS hope and you CAN do it - you just really have to want it. I am always here!
I am responding cuz it looks like you are struggling - I didn't do this myself but I copied it from a response so you could see it, I know some people have trouble navigating around this website at first. You can also find this by clicking on "Most Viewed Health Pages" over to the right hand side of this page, just scroll up or down until you see it But here is what I found - these are not my words but a prior post.
Amino Acid Protocol
Most of this program is from the book END YOUR ADDICTION NOW.. the doctor who wrote it ran a treatment facility in UPstate New york where they gave patients amino acids and vitamin via IV during treatment.. He also counsels patients individually.. All of these things are meant to rebuild activity in the major neuro transmitters.. as addicts our neurotransmitters have been disrupted by our use of drugs.. even stuff like cigarettes and eating alot of sugar can disrupt them.. with drugs however it can be more damaging.. I will list the aminos maily used for addiction, their dosages etc.. everything should be taken on a empty stomach... an hour b4 meals.. Take all of them together with lots of water... I have added stuff as I have done more research on this...
**Please check with your doctor or pharmacist for any interactions with any meds you may be taking.
B- vitamin Complex 100mgs, needed for absorption of aminos, rebuilding of the liver, reducing stress, If you can get injections from your doctor that is even better.. I would buy the sublingual for best absorption
Multi mineral vitamin high potency formula , just good to take all around, addicts are using lacking many of the right vitamins and minerals, and alot of prescription drugs rob our bodies of nutrients.
5HTP-- this is what tryptophan gets turned into prior to being turned into serotonin in our brains. Serotonin is what is usually depleted if we are depressed and anxious.. Taking this will help with PAWS ( post accute withdrawl syndrome) or eliminate you suffering from them all together DO NOT TAKE IF YOU ARE TAKING A SSRI OR TRICYLIC ANTI DEPRESSANT
Dosage-- up to 300mgs a day 3x DAILY ( I take 100mgs 3x per day, start with the lower dose and move up if needed) IF YOU ARE TAKING THE 5HPT PLZ DO NOT TAKE SAM E AS WELL. IT CAN BE DANEROUS
L-glutamine--amino acid required for GABA production, that is the relaxing part of our brain. up to 2000mgs 3x per day.. ( I take 1000 mgs 3x day, again start lower and work up if needed)
L-Taurine-- another "relaxing" amino up to 1000mgs 3x daily
DLPA-- helps restore the function to the pain receptors working with the enporphins/enkephalins, can also help with pain if you are someone that suffers with some kind of legitamate pain. DO NOT TAKE IF YOU ARE TAKING A SSRI OR TRICYLIC ANTIDEPRESSANT or if you have DIABETES or HIGH BLOOD PRESSURE
Dose-- up to 2000mgs 3x per day (again you can start lower like 1000mgs 3x daily)
Sam-e-- aids in stress relief, depression,eases pain, and produces antioxidant effect that can improve the health of the liver 200-400mgs per day YOU ARE TAKING THE SAME PLZ DO NOT TAKE 5HPT AS WELL. IT CAN BE DANEROUS
Vitamin C-- use Ester c buffered form, detoxifies the system, and lessens cravings for drugs. Supports many body systems. Take 2,000mgs every 3 hours. Start with 1,000mgs and work your way up. Can cause loose stools, body will adjust.
Calcium 1,000mgs at bedtime Magnesium 1,000mgs at bedtime nourishes the central nervous system and helps control tremors like RLS and other muscle spasms calms and relaxes the body, helps sleep.
If you find yourself really struggling with energy after being on the aminos you can add L-tyrosine to the mix in the early part of the day.. up to 1,500mgs.. This is not usually used in the treatment of pain pill addiction and can over stimulate some people I would say only take it if you are still struggling with energy after starting everything else..
If you find yourself having some anxiety the amino L-theanine is like natural valium.. It has helped me so much I no longer need to take xanax at all for my panic attacks
As far as sleep.. in my early days off of pills I took a sleep blend from GNC with a L-theanine and calcium magnesium liquid everynight and slept like a baby.
Another aid to help with sleep is melatonin. This is a hormone released from the pinal gland in the human body at night time for sleep...this is essential for those coming off opiods. As little as 1mg to 30mg have been effective. Start low and add 3-5 mgs every half hour till sleep. Reasearch on healthy volunteers using up to 100mg of melatonin in a single dose shoes little side effects. Melatonin is also known as a very strong antioxidant with 1000x the potenecy of vitamin E. Take only at night right before bedtime as the hormone is released naturally by the body when it is dark.
I suggest GNC to purchase this stuff they are pretty cheap (some stuff is only 4.99 a bottle) they were also super helpful and knew alot.. I got a gold card to save some bucks in the future..
After a few months if you are feeling good you can taper the aminos back to once a day... then a few months after that a few times a week.. the best part about taking aminos instead of drugs is you don't have to take them forever to get the benefit.. the FIX the problem not put a band aid on it.
Protein shakes can be of great benefit.. protein is needed for rebuilding of nearly everything in the body.
I'm tapering the Xanax, only used Valium for the past 3 days, I've taken Xanax for a month now and everything I've read says to taper so that's what I'm doing. Seems like all meds have headaches as a side effect :-(
To Iwilldothis...thank you for posting the protocol I couldn't find it and looks like others on here have had the same problem. And congratulations on your progress, that's amazing!!! so many days without pills I hope to be able to say the same someday. You should be very proud of yourself!
Hey scaredmommy2005, I'm doing ok today trying to read and post at work :-) bad girl! But I've gotten some real good advice on here so I'm glad I came clean....now to set the goals and do it! Not just the subs and Xanax but the whole insanity of it all. Wonder how I'd feel if I didn't take anything, it's been so long... I don't really know anymore which is sad. Thanks for writing me back today. I'll be on later, I'm in Florida so I think there's a 3 hour time difference, have a great rest of the day!!!
I felt that way as well. I think I was afraid more of not taking anything then the withdrawal itself. I am going to not take any medication other then this stinking stuff for pneumonia that was I know how bad my pain is and where it is coming from and then in a few months I can go from there. I am looking for other ways to control my pain other then taking narcotics. I am glad you came to this site as well. I love it here and there is always somebody to talk to. I dont have any friends where I live now so it gets rather lonely and there isnt a lot of stuff you can tell a 6 year old. This site is my saving grace right now. I am also glad that you are starting a plan of action that shows you really want this. I think the idea about poping tic tacs might help you, it sounds like a great idea to me. Does the tylenol and other things help with your headaches? I tried to take them when I first stopped taking the vicodin but it didnt help me so I decided why put more medication into my body if nothing is coming from it. It is all just more poison to me. I hope you had a good day at work today. Know we are all pulling for you and we have all been there before.
Glad you wrote and I'm sorry you feel so bad! Wishing real hard you feel better real soon. Your advice/comments have really helped me and you can write me anytime, I don't have alot of friends either especially people I can actually talk to about my issues. So please hang in there 2 weeks is awesome!!! Chin up and put a smile on that face even if you have to force it!!! Hugs
You are so AWESOME!! I am glad that we are all here for each other and this is a place that we can really be us and not be afraid to tell the truth. All of my friends would flip if they knew what I did. I have always been the "mother" in my group of friends, the strong one who always has a smile on my face. I am glad that here I have learned it is ok to be weak, ok to cry and you dont have to know all of the answers. We all know what we want and we all know how to get there now its just this bumpy road to our destination and we have plenty of new friends to travel it with. Thank you for your wishes. Shouldnt you be in bed by now?? lol isnt it 10:30 there? Maybe i am just old and I am always in bed by 9. haha
For the headaches the excedrin migraine quick release tablets work best, but have it with food cause they can make you nauseous, I've taken everything for headaches and this is the only nom narcotic that works for my headaches! Try it, Tylenol does nothing for me.
Yes it's sleepy time for me... It's 10:35 and I have to be up at 6 so going to try to get some sleep, keep in touch! Nobody knows about me either, everybody thinks I'm a goody goody but oh well we know the truth here. Go eat your strawberries and we'll talk tomorrow :-)
A quick comment - not sure how long you have been taking meds, but for me taking my meds became a daily ritual, and the ritual became almost as important as the pills. When I stopped using I had to avoid thinking about what I used to do, and instead fill that time with other things. It was difficult, and a very important part in my staying clean.
It's been years but taking all this stuff everyday I think hss been about 5 years now... Which is a long time and you're right it's a ritual/habit and I'm having a hard time letting go! Problem is I am starting to feel tired all the time and it's time to stop! glad to know someone else has been there and is doing good now, thanks!!
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