Pills and Pregnancy

I am 28 weeks pregnant and have not been able to quit my pill habit.  I would say I have definitely cut back and am not  physically addicted anymore.  I don't take them every day and don't have withdrawals anymore when I don't take them but I just can't seem to give them up.  I feel so guilty about this and am constantly worried about my baby.  I have done a lot of research online but I wanted to know if anyone has had any firsthand experience with this and knows the risks or what might happen to my baby.  I am so scared and hate myself for not being able to totally quit.  I do plan on quitting soon completely because I don't want the baby to go through withdrawals when she is born but I'm just wondering the damage that I might have already done.  I don't know what I am going to do if something is wrong.  I will blame myself forever.  I already hate myself as it is and can't believe that I couldn't quit for the sake of my baby.  I have 3 other children and always quit other drugs that I was on in the past when i found out I was pregnant but nothing ever had a hold on me like pills do.  I wish I had gotten help before now but I was too ashamed to admit that I had a problem and kept telling myself that this will be the last time but it never is.  Please help if you can

[melodie79]

You have already dont half the work by admitting theres a problem.  You can do it.  Read all the posts on here.  There is so much support on here. I am thinking of you as well I will include you in my prayers.  keep your head up,, have faith in your self.  If you ever want to chat email me.  I hope this helps. p.s. what kind of pills are you on?

[pillhead299]

Oh I forgot to write what pills I take, mostly percosets or vicodin, I've been taking them for over 2 years now and I take up to 7 five milligram vicodin or 5 or 6 five milligram percoset at one time.  That is the part that scares me, taking so many at one time.   I don't take them all day like I used to, only that one time usually at night.  I can't believe that I need to take that many at once to get a high.  I never would have thought it would ever have gotten this bad.  even with cutting back I still can't get a high on less than 6 vics.  I'm so scared and now I'm scared to get help because I don't want my baby to get taken away from me either.  Aside from my addiction I am a great mother and my kids mean the world to me.  I've just let this overtake my life in so many ways.  I hate myself for it but I just can't seem to stop.  The most I'll go is a couple of weeks and then as soon as I can get some i'll take them without a thought and then I feel horrible afterward.  I really hope I can quit.

[dominosarah]

Are you getting these from your doctor??

[tarnabee]

I continued to use Vics during my pregnancy with twins.  I felt so ashamed that I could not stop; I kept rationalizing my use by doing research. I'm not going to go into what I found online that in my mind "approved" my use.  My doctors were aware I took some, but I took more than prescribed.  

Remember that the baby may be addicted to the meds and may experience withdrawal at birth.  If you can taper or stop use as soon as possible, you decrease the likelihood the baby with experience withdrawal.  Now whether the baby experiences that in utero, I don't know.

Besides having the risk of a twin birth, my two boys were one month early and they induced me because one boy was low birth weight and was having trouble whenever I had a contraction.  I never felt the contraction, but I was hooked up to the fetal monitor and when it showed the contraction, his heart rate dipped to almost nothing.  Doctors came running in and decided the baby could not tolerate it.

I found out later that his umbilical chord did not attach correctly to the placenta, which was the reason for the low birth weight and heart dip.  Was this because of my drug use?  Drug use during pregnancy can cause low birth weight.  I have guilt because I don't know if I caused that.  He is healthy, but small.  He's going to be a little guy (petite), but he's developmentally even with his brother.  His twin is perfect.

I live with the guilt every day.   But I won't admit it to anyone except here because I don't want to see the disappointment in their eyes.  I do and did have legitamate reasons for the use, but not the abuse.

[sway1]

i was strung out on heroin when i became pregnant with my second child. i was also smoking crack when i couldn't get H. i told my doctor EVERYTHING. he told me absolutely no cocaine, as this is very harmful. he told me to cut back slowly on the H so as not to throw myself into withdrawal. he said opiates in moderation do not pose a great threat to the fetus, nor during breast feeding. so i cut back. my daughter was fat and healthy. i actually did natural childbirth with her. go figure. this is just my experience. but i strongly suggest you be totally honest with your OB/GYN. things may have changed since 1991. i will pray for you and your family. peace.    sway